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1-47 of 47
- Min and Gwenneth pay Alf another visit, Gwenneth as confused as ever as she mistakes Alf for a doctor and takes her skirt off and, in the pub, mistakes Arthur for an old boyfriend. Back at the house the sisters hold a seance which Winston and his boyfriend use to make Alf believe he is possessed by an evil spirit before faking a conversation with God, who persuades Alf to give the women his bed for the night.
- At the local old time dance afternoon Alf is challenged to fight ageing Lothario Fancy Fred by two merry widows who end up fighting each other but Alf has his chance to threaten Fred when Fred parks his van on the pavement outside the house. However when Alf gets his legs wedged on the window ledge as he tries to clean the window Arthur and Winston see Fred's van as a means of escape. Fred has other ideas though and Alf has a landing of a different sort.
- Rita has come to stay but announces her intention to go back home on Christmas Eve. In order to persuade her to stay and help him look after Else, Alf falls off a ladder and claims to have injured his leg. However, whilst Rita does stay, the knees up at the Christmas Day party goes so well that Alf's enthusiastic participation soon exposes his supposedly bad leg as nothing more than a ruse.
- Having got himself a free teas-maid by causing a scene in an electrical shop, Alf goes home to open a private letter to Rita, telling her her divorce from Mike has come through. He is overjoyed as he thinks she will move into the spare room and look after him. However she is planning to marry local doctor Thompson so Alf reluctantly is forced to let Winston have the room instead. To compound Alf's joy, Fred Johnson has made sure the teas-maid goes off in the night and wakens all the street.
- After baffling the Catholic priest who will be marrying him to Mrs Hollingbery with thoughts on separate heavens Alf goes on his stag night where his friends have had a whip round for a cheap cutlery set and the bride comes in to take him home whilst he is enjoying himself with the stripper. Next day everybody assembles for the wedding but, on learning that he wants her to 'obey' him, Mrs H jilts Alf at the altar, complaining about his cheap skate ways. Fred thinks he has had a lucky escape but Alf disagrees, claiming that he could have been watching West Ham instead.
- As a result of a power cut, Alf and Mrs Hollingbery repair to the candle-lit pub where Alf sounds off about Margaret Thatcher, despite her being a Conservative, and a general argument breaks out with Arthur and Fred Johnson about a number of things - including death, the undertaker at the next table unsettling Alf. When he and Mrs Hollingbery return home after the lights have gone back on, Alf rails at her for wasting electricity before fusing all the electrics in the house.
- The Garnetts are back in London. Else is severely arthritic and can barely walk and Alf extols the joys of the wheelchair has got her - until he has to push her around in it. With so many cars parked on the pavement he uses the middle of the road,incurring a motorist's wrath. The chair does come in handy for getting him on the front row at football matches though his response to a home win reveals that he is using it fraudulently.
- Having complained about his failing eye sight - and just about everything else - Alf takes his wife out in her wheelchair and buys her an ice cream cornet whilst avoiding giving money to the vicar. However his poor sight proves his undoing when he accidentally goes into a ladies' toilet and is arrested as a sex pest.
- Having scrubbed the hall floor and disapproved of Else's using the milkman to place her bets, Alf feels that they are entitled to a home help, but manages to antagonise three women in succession. Returning from the pub, he finds that the latest is Winston, an extremely flamboyant gay black man who will clearly take no nonsense from him.
- Alf tries the patience of good natured Fred Johnson and his wife from next door by using their phone to make a very long-winded long distance call to Rita. After expounding upon funerals in the pub Alf repays Fred by buying him so many drinks he falls over but Alf's homeward progress pushing Else in her wheelchair also ends in drunken calamity.
- Rita comes to visit and no sooner is she through the door than Alf argues with her about Else. After Alf has criticised Margaret Thatcher, claiming that no woman should be prime minister, Else and Rita gang up against him with Winston, who brings an equally camp friend home to throw a party for Rita. Alf is given extremely strong drink so that, whilst the others continue carousing, he passes out.
- Tired of pushing Else around in her chair Alf feels she should have an electric scooter but they cost two and a half grand and the woman at Social Security tells Alf that, as long as he is around to push, Else is ineligible. Taking an idea from some kids with a go-kart Alf adds jet propulsion to the chair, which goes out of control, foiling a bank robbery and landing him in hospital. He is declared a hero but, following Winston's view that the robbers' accomplices may be out to get him, decides to remain anonymous.
- Else has died and Alf and Rita with friends and neighbours including landlady Mrs Hollingbury return from the funeral for the wake. With Else gone his pension will be halved yet the bills remain the same and Mrs Hollingbury surprises everybody by revealing that Alf has finally lost faith in the Conservatives and persuaded her to vote Labour with him at the last election. She also shows her racist side, provoking Rita's displeasure but being calmed down with an ironic kiss from Winston. Once he is left alone Alf finally breaks down in tears, bemoaning the loss of the 'silly old moo', whom he nonetheless loved.
- When Rita and Winston come in at night making a noise, Mrs. Hollingbery decides to start locking the front door of the flats at 10:30. But can Alf make it back from the pub in time?
- Mrs. Hollingbery's obsession with locking doors takes on new dimensions when she even locks Alf into his own flat but then he needs to go to toilet. Meanwhile the shopkeeper wants to call in Elsa's debts, and the milkman has some news about her gambling.
- Alf gets fed up with everybody having a Sunday roast except him, so he makes his first trip to a supermarket. But he's forgotten he can't cook.
- Rita buys Alf a second-hand jacket, and when he notices it is covered in medals he uses it to try to gain all sorts of favours under false pretences. He also gets a visit from canvassing politicians.
- Alf's old neighbour Min turns up uninvited with her senile sister.
- Alf has had his hip operation and Winston has moved out, replaced by his straight cousin Pele. However some things never change, such as Alf's continuing feud with Mrs Hollingbery, particularly as she hogs his television. Things could be about to change, though, as Arthur points out to Alf that he could be a very rich man by marrying the widow and he sets about wooing her.
- The sight-seeing continues with Alf having a confrontation with a crocodile and some Aboriginals, who nonetheless get the better of him after he tries to patronise them. Back at Ricky's, Alf gets a business proposition from Ricky and his partner Mooney but it is apparent that they have misunderstood Alf's financial position, and soon the three Brits are on the plane back home.
- A year later and Alf is still living under the same roof as - and bickering with - Mrs Hollingbery, particularly over her scrounging friend Michael. Alf really loses it when the alarm on a car parked outside his house goes off and decides to teach the driver a lesson, though of course it rebounds on him and his efforts to get revenge on the workmen digging a hole outside the house are equally as ineffectual.
- After holding forth in the pub on how foreigners have brought AIDS to England, Alf and his friend Arthur visit a sex shop, where Arthur steals a pornographic magazine but gives it to Alf to mind for him. When Mrs Hollingbery finds it Alf blames it on Winston and tries to have him evicted, but Arthur puts his foot in it by turning up at the house asking for his book just as it is being torn up.
- Alf decides to invest in his own phone, but quickly finds himself at war with Mrs Hollingbery over its use, as she claims ownership as the householder. With the phone being cordless they are frequently hiding it from each other and Winston's calls to Jamaica are no help, whilst Alf's delight in trying out his new acquisition by ringing everybody he knows leads to friction with Arthur's wife and injury for Fred Johnson.
- On a boiling hot summer day, Alf goes to the DHSS to complain that he should have had more money in last winter's heating allowance for living in an end terrace. but it cuts no ice. Back home he joins his friends watching cricket on television and falls asleep, loudly dreaming that he has been knighted for his services to the game. He wakes up to general derision and the knowledge that he has been exposed for stealing the eggs from next door's hens.
- Encouraged by Arthur, Alf continues to pursue Mrs Hollingbery, even going down on one knee to propose though she wants time to think. After a night in the pub a surprise engagement party is thrown for the still undecided couple, but when Mrs Hollingbery learns that, as a husband and wife, they could buy the house for twenty thousand pounds when its market value is five times that, she is quick to accept.