Review of Primeval

Primeval (2007)
1/10
When did 'mass murderers' mean ALLIGATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!
22 January 2007
Warning: Spoilers
The worst movie I have ever seen, well at least next to Anaconda and Lake Placid. My god, I thought this was going to be an awesome horror movie about a real life mass murderer in Africa. Instead, it was a b-horror movie about a killer alligator that was SO PREDICTABLE you wanted to shoot yourself in the head after the first 10 minutes. I meant to leave a short, to the point comment, but the site insists on 10 lines. Let me sum up the movie, and yes, this will ruin it for you (as much as it can be ruined): Movie starts, leading you to believe the serial killer is human, kills his victims with barb wire and buries them (nice). 5 minutes in you learn the serial killer is a 40 foot alligator. Next, a team is rounded up of 1 black guy, 1 white guy (from prison break) and 1 woman; but I'm sure it was an accident that the team was so PC. This team, which is composed of admittedly sissy reporters is shipped off to Africa to find and capture a man-eating alligator. Yes, you guessed it, Africa was in the midst of civil war and no one was sure if they could trust their contacts...good guess, I never would have thought twice. Main story short, NOTHING unpredictable happens, they plan to catch a 40 foot alligator in a large metal cage that looks like it has been sitting in the bush for 20 years. People die for no reason, Jurassic park rivals the CGI, and whenever a good guy is about to die, some predictable twist of fate occurs.

Overall, I would honestly rather shoot myself in the head than watch this again.

Enjoy...
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