BEWITCHED (1 outta 5 stars) What a terrible, misbegotten abortion of a movie this turned out to be! Why couldn't they just be content to make a straight-forward adaptation of the old TV series? Samantha's a witch, Darren's a mortal... they fall in love and then conflicts ensue. Why did they have to devise this complicated and nonsensical storyline about a lousy movie actor (Will Ferrell) who plans on saving his floundering career by starring in a TV remake of "Bewitched"? And he just happens to cast a real witch (Nicole Kidman) in the female lead? And this real witch just happens to have some real relatives who are the same characters from the original TV series? The story gets pretty desperate at times... with "dream" sequences, the appearance of characters who may or may not be mere figments of someone's imagination and the ability of "Samantha" to turn back time indefinitely to erase any of her spells that may have gone awry. (Too bad they couldn't just rewind this whole movie and start over again.) Kidman has an appealing screen presence and probably could have done a good job in an actual "Bewitched" story. Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine are wasted on a goofy subplot that never really comes to any kind of satisfying conclusion. Will Farrell has a few funny moments but basically he plays an unlikable twit and there is no reason in the world for Kidman's character to fall in love with him. Awful, awful stuff... maybe if we all wriggle our noses we can make this movie disappear...?
