Review of Murdercycle

Murdercycle (1999)
1/10
Awful in every aspect
15 November 2001
Everything in this movie is bad. The title is hilariously bad. The plot is a 1950s cheap sci-fi reject. The acting is uniformly horrendous. I mean, you get the feeling that these actors were told to just be themselves, and they couldn't get THAT right. Not one word is pronounced in a genuine-sounding form. The dialogue is mind-numbing. The humor is beyond idiotic. At best some of the conspiracy references were mildly amusing, although highly unoriginal in a post-"X Files" era. The best humor is unintentional, and even that is not enough. The cinematography was lame, with people crowded into one small space for some shots, shaky camerawork in other shots, lone people captured in the side rather than the center in what were supposed to be key shots, and an overall cheap-looking quality of film that reminds one more of a Cinemax soft-core porno. The special effects were outdated by 20 years, with the best effect being a blatant rip off of both "Terminator" and "Predator". I usually don't mind imitations of good things from other movies, but this was too much. There was slow-motion overkill, particularly whenever the 'murdercycle' showed up. The editing was bad. The score was severely unexciting and unatmospheric. The characters were heavily boring. And you have to wonder why it takes something as powerful as the 'murdercycle' to break into where it needed to break in to retrieve what it was looking for, particular given that it can materialize anywhere it wants to (talk about extraterrestrial intelligence). The costumes were boring. The set design was lifeless. And there's all sorts of things that don't make sense, like one guy getting shot in the back by a cheap laser beam from the 'murdercycle', which causes the GROUND beneath him to explode, making him merely flip around without a scratch, in typical action movie fashion. And the worst part of all is that everyone involved in the film is taking it seriously.

One could say that this would be the movie that most of the cast and crew would remove from their resume later on in their career. Unfortunately, none of the people involved in this flick look like they have a career ahead of them.
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