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- Viewers from around America send in home videos with comedic moments.
- Various forms of funny clips on TV are presented.
- a man dressed in women's lingerie; a bear's sudden appearance at a family outing; a determined dog facing abandonment issues; a bizarre accident that occurs in front of a cop; soap bubbles engulfing people in a hot tub.
- Promotional TV special for Disney's Tarzan (1999) featuring excerpts of a Phil Collins concert in Hollywood's El Capitan Theatre interspersed with interviews from various cast and crew members.
- A collection of sexually-suggestive television commercials from around the world.
- A gifted young teen tries to survive life with his dimwitted, dysfunctional family.
- The family is on a weekend-vacation in an native American casino. Francis uses this opportunity to go on vacation himself, by sneaking into his former home, but he is not the only one with that idea. While Hal, Reese and Malcolm get lost in the desert, Lois and Dewey enjoy a day of relaxation.
- While we have a chance to see the world from Dewey's very special point of view, Reese acts weird. As it turns out, he is interested in a girl and does not know how to show her how he feels. Following a misunderstood advice from Malcolm, Reese joins the cheerleader-squad. As a consequence Hal has to have "the talk" with his sons. Meanwhile in the military academy Francis gets to know Commandant Spangler on a very personal level.
- Hal and Lois heads off to a convention while the boys stays home for the babysitter. Malcolm, Reese and Dewey assumed it's just another old woman, their parents hired to watch them. They decide to do a series of pranks on their babysitter, which includes the covered up sewer tank with a blanket and a book for the old woman sit on. To their surprise, their babysitter is a hot, teen-aged girl named Patty. She is sweet to them, but also bitter because she was rejected by Francis, a long time ago, because she was obese. Now the boys compete against each other to see who will prove their eldest brother wrong in his rejection and sleep with her without sex. Meanwhile at the convention, Lois tries in vain to stop the fight between Hal and Jack, who stole his idea.
- Commandant Spangler announces his mother's visit and Francis uses the opportunity to organize a dance, for which he invites some local girls, which ends up to be a very different experience then the cadets expected. Meanwhile the Kenarbans invite the whole family to a nice dinner that turns into an evening of conflicts, as the families get to know each other better.
- Aunt Helen died and the family prepares for the funeral, an occasion that doesn't go as planned. Dewey finds a stray kid, Malcolm tries to avoid going altogether, Reese tries to sink some Evidence with aunt Helen's casket, Francis tries to get involved more into family matters, Hal prepares a speech, Dewey tries to get his new friend Egg home and Lois is all about family obligations. Of course it turns out much different then anybody anticipates.
- 2000–200623mTV-PG8.1 (1.1K)TV EpisodeWhen Francis shows up a week late for Halloween, he and the boys still manage to create the ultimate prank; Hal tries to catch a man who keeps speeding down the street, which leads to Lois and him stealing the car.
- Lois finds an amazing and cheap massage table at the grocery store and manages to become so relaxed that she doesn't even care about Hal and Dewey's LEGO city.
- While Hal and Lois are away for the weekend, Francis, visiting home from military school, is in charge of the house. Right away his friends come over and mess it up, so Francis and the boys clean it up to show Francis is responsible and might be allowed to leave military school and come home. All goes well...until a shelf falls on Malcolm, injuring him.
- The family have to go to the Krelboyne class picnic. Malcolm doesn't want to go because he has to do an act and doesn't want to look bad in front of his family especially Francis who is home for the weekend. Francis promises to get Malcolm out of doing his act but meets a girl at the picnic and no longer wants to leave. Lois tries to fit in with the other parents unsuccessfully and Hal serves meat from the BBQ even though the Krelboynes all voted that there would be no meat. Reese ends up on the run from eraserheads brother who catches him in the end giving him a wedgie. When Stevie leaves his chemicals with Malcolm, Malcolm desperate to do anything to get out of his act tries to make a stink bomb but ends up making a level 3 toxic bomb. The picnic seems to be ruined until Malcolm guiltily goes up on stage to preform his act. Everyone is amazed by it especially his family. Malcolm fears they will all treat him differently but to his relief nothing has changed.
- Waiting in Lucky Aide for Lois to end her shift, Reese and Malcolm cause trouble, which leaves Dewey unobserved and able to nick something expensive from the store. Lois tries to make a point about "doing the right thing" and loses her job in the process. It also leaves the family with less income, bad food and Malcolm stressed out, especially because he already is in emotional despair over Julie Houlerman. Malcolm gets caught in an awkward social situation and Lois struggles between standing up to the man and providing for her family. Meanwhile Francis gets a break from the academy as honor guard for a beauty pageant. Every cadets dream come true?
- When Lois gives the boys $10 each to buy her a present, they decide to get something for themselves, which causes her to have grief. When Hal also forgets her birthday, Lois decides that is enough, so she escapes until the family finally decides that they need her. Meanwhile, Francis brings home a beautiful African woman.
- Because of Dewey always leaving food in the crawlspace under the house, the whole family is forced to live in a trailer owned by Lois' coworker, Craig, while their house is being fumigated. However, Malcolm ends up spending more time at the home of an upper-middle-class family who has hired him as their babysitter, but he learns that they were secretly videotaping him. He later blackmails the family to leave him alone and quits the job, also revealing a horrible secret about the family's wife. Meanwhile at the academy, Francis finds the corpse of a former janitor in the basement of the military school, who was missing for 16 years, and teams up with his friends to give the forgotten custodian a proper burial by sending him down the lake in a burned boat and performing a burial at sea, which turns into a disaster.
- When Lois finds her red anniversary dress burnt and in the toilet, she immediately suspects Reese, Dewey and Malcolm of foul play, and chases them all over the house to try and make them fess up, while Hal waits all night at the restaurant alone.
- The night shift at Lucky Aide is held hostage by two robbers, since Craig does not want to give up the combination for the store's safe. Francis tries to help a heartbroken friend at the academy, while Hal and the boys fight nature at home.