- It's appropriate that television is considered a medium, since it's rare if it's ever well done.
- Some years ago I had a complete nervous breakdown, was dead broke and had to be put in a charity ward with 30 others. I was there 18 months and doctors didn't give me long to live. So now each day to me is a special dividend, so I live it to the hilt. - response to gossip columnist Hedda Hopper, who asked him why he was "trying to kill himself."
- Nothing In Moderation" - The epitaph on his tombstone
- There is currently a formula for success in the entertainment medium, that is -- beat it to death if it succeeds.
- I don't have an audience for my shows. I don't believe in that. An audience with free tickets will laugh at the pause because they've been told, nudgingly,'You are now to laugh'. And they're trying to be nice - they're fond of the people in the show and they want to show their appreciation and show they're glad to be there, so they'll laugh.
- [on the 'Ernie Kovacs Show'] This is not primarily a comedy show, this is more or less an experiment that I'm doing. There is a strong element of comedy that runs through it, but it is a unique comedy. My particular affinity for the medium is to make it an electronic one and to use it for it's own intrinsic value and approach. But I don't put it above - nor do I put it below - other forms of comedy. This happens to be mine.
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