Every Dreamworks movie ranked
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- DirectorJoel CrawfordJanuel MercadoStarsAntonio BanderasSalma HayekHarvey GuillénWhen Puss in Boots discovers that his passion for adventure has taken its toll and he has burned through eight of his nine lives, he launches an epic journey to restore them by finding the mythical Last Wish.DREAMWORKS. I can’t believe I’m saying this. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish is the best Dreamworks movie. A puss in boots sequel is the best. Can you believe that? I had such high hopes for this movie and it left me feeling so satisfied and happy. The high hopes were replaced with high feelings. The last piss in boots shocked me with how entertaining and funny it was. This movie right off the bat has everything the last movie lacked. Fairytales. Plus Gingy and Pinocchio make a cameo. So my first impressions were he’s a blank that is forced to be a blank but doesn’t wanna be. But it’s different. It’s not cliche at all. Because of Death. The wolf is what makes this movie, this movie. It’s what turns this high 7 into the best movie I’ve watched so far. The metaphor for death. He is truly scared of this wolf and I’ll be honest, so am I. This thing is so flipping scary. It’s bright red eyes and thin snout. Its blood shot eyes freak me out. Especially the way it whistles and stands in the middle of the screen. Everyone wonders what the meaning of life is. That is what is shown in the first half. You are so damn scared of dying that you choose to live safety, and boringly. That is what happens when you let your life waste away doing what you hate, just because it is safe. Don’t be afraid of death. That’s the strong ass message of this story. Wishing for more life will get you no where. Death will always come. He will always be there. I think I’d rather take the egg from the first movie than freaking Perro. Don’t get me wrong, love Guillermo from what we do in the shadows. But this movie feels chopped with another dumb sidekick. Look at this cast dude. You got Florence Pugh, Harvey Guillen, John Mulaney, Samon Kayo- WAIT JOHN MULANEY? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. John Mulaney could steal my stole and murder my whole family and I’d be thankful he even said my name. I would cry if I met him. And even if I didn’t look up the cast, I’d easily recognise that voice. Out of the 70 movies I’ve watched in this journey, NONE of them have sworn. None. And this one covers it with bleeps, which none of them do either. Crazy. He called himself shit for brains. Wild. Unpredictability and Watchability are the most important things you need for a movie. This has both. You never know what’s gonna happen next, and any age could watch it and find it amazing and funny. “You’re not gonna shoot a puppy are you Jack?” “Yeah, in the face, why?” “STOP THROWING MY MEN AT ME.” Yes, yes, yes. Here come the moment. The best possible portrayal of an anxiety attack in pop media ever. Heart pumping fast, vision distorting, breathing rapidly and paired with some of the greatest visuals. He isn’t a cliche. He isn’t crying and fainting and screaming. He’s having an anxiety attack. He can’t breathe so he runs away. It’s Puss. Sure Jack is the villain. Mean, angry, ugly and fat. But Death is always there. Always watching. Puss learns that when he stops thinking about how he’s afraid of death and learns to overcome it, that death stops following him around. Anyway all of the characters are different and varied in many ways. They are all there for a reason. I like how there’s not just one protagonist. And Goldie even has her own plot. A relatable one too. You feel like your family is not your own. That you aren’t like them. I just wish It was explored a bit more. But when I start to feel down I just get punched in the face with John Mulaney acing his voice acting “I was worried I would come out naked but my clothes grew too. Cool” love with goddamn movie. The one quote that sums it up. “I know I can never defeat you lobo, but I will never stop fighting for this life.” Uses the myth of cats having nine lives to its advantage. “Aww that is so cute… how you think that would work on me. Don’t you know I’m dead inside? By the way your nose is bleeding.” And once again we thought death was the villain. But if he was truly the villain, all our lives would be an animated movie. Plus it set up for a sequel, showing the far far away sign. Count me in for that one!
- DirectorDean DeBloisStarsJay BaruchelCate BlanchettGerard ButlerWhen Hiccup and Toothless discover an ice cave that is home to hundreds of new wild dragons and the mysterious Dragon Rider, the two friends find themselves at the center of a battle to protect the peace.DREAMWORKS. This movie should be watched by everyone. The dialogue is amazing. It’s funny, witty and makes you believe in the relationships. I love toothless. It’s almost crazy how they get you to feel so strongly for a whole breed of animals. Did they change voice actors for Astrid or did she just not speak that much in the last movie? Plus this movie has that fantasy feeling of wishing you were in that world. With other movies that dreamworks has smart animals in, you think it’s stupid and wonder how the hell are these dogs so smart, but with HTTYD, you can accept the fact that dragons are so smart. Cause they aren’t real. But that’s the thing. They aren’t real. But I feel so strongly for these animals, almost like I would if a dog just plain died in front of me for 1 hour and 37 minutes. HIS MOTHER TOO. I would have gasped, had I not seen that song Stoick and Valka sing on TikTok. I wouldn’t say I have a crush on hiccup, I would say I strongly admire him. He worked through these two movies brilliantly. I don’t know how to describe it, but how to train your dragon manages to convey beautiful emotion through dragons, without words, but also through dialogue with humans and through THEIR actions. Love this. “Eret of Eret was the man of my dreams” “but baby, I grew facial hair for you” Valka and Stoick’s love is amazing. It’s a great show romance in an animated movie. It’s great and it teaches us a small lesson. Love can fade, but can be re-lit. Also gobber is gay. We know this now. I refuse to believe anything other than. The bigger the dragons get, the cooler the movie is. There is a moment in every great movie, where you feel like nothing can get worse, and it’ll never get better. I’m sitting here waiting for Stoick to get back up again and say “I’m not dead yet yah pansies!” But he never got back up. Proof a dragon can make a great best friend. I cried the very hardest at that moment where hiccup is trying to get toothless to snap out of that alpha hypnotism, and he says that it’s not his fault that he killed Stoick, and that he would never hurt him. And that toothless is his best friend. That hit be so hard. Also 2nd dreamworks movie out of like 29 that has made me cry. And it’s in the SAME franchise. Pixar made me cry like 6 times and it has way less movies. MADE ME CRY
- DirectorChris MillerRaman HuiStarsMike MyersCameron DiazEddie MurphyReluctantly designated as the heir to the land of Far, Far Away, Shrek hatches a plan to install the rebellious Artie as the new king while Princess Fiona tries to fend off a coup d'état by the jilted Prince Charming.DREAMWORKS. this might as well be my favourite dreamworks movie. it is so well thought out and funny. i love prince charming so much. he is the best villian, not too mean but not to ugly. i cant believe ive missed out on this gem for so long. i always overlook the third movie. i really really like how with each shrek movie, it slowly dips more into the fairytale side, which is so creative and funny. i cant believe the live and let die frogs are from shrek 3! all jokes aside, shrek is so unique in its way of storytelling. with each movie it shows a different side to love, with the first movie it was finding love, and then marriage and family, and now children. plus this movie is so funny and ahead of its time with moments like; the highschool/college but an olden days parody, thinkest and ewest, the dungeons and dragons freaks, the smoking frankenscene and mur in the van, the girl askign shrek to the prom on behalf of her best friend, the just say nay inspirational speech, fionas baby shower with the princesses, the bit where gingys life flashed before his eyes and we saw his first kiss and first steps, where donkey and puss swap bodies, the fact that merlin is john oliver coded (love that guy) and finally the play at the end, so amazing and perfect build up! this movie feels like a skit out of a comedy central show on mtv. and the DIALOGUE!! i could listen to a shrek podcast cause where did they come up with these lines? i could talk for hours about this line: "but pookie, you promised you wouldnt hurt them, not now kitten whiskers daddy will discuss it later" it is such a good symbol of how willing dreamworks is to make shrek for all ages, with sex jokes that adults can laugh at but without it being too boring for the kids to want to watch. i do also like how the daddy issues are represented well(er than other movies). also with the trangender bartender. yes kevin prince charming also makes me feel hotter than july. this movie doesnt have to make me cry to make number one, it can have me dying of laughter at 11pm on a sunday night. why the hell are they so vague about what prince charming is gonna do to them though lol. wow not surprised that snow white being transphobic is canon in this universe. but seriously. i love this movie with all of my heart. perfect setting and characters.
- DirectorDean DeBloisChris SandersStarsJay BaruchelGerard ButlerChristopher Mintz-PlasseA hapless young Viking who aspires to hunt dragons becomes the unlikely friend of a young dragon himself, and learns there may be more to the creatures than he assumed.DREAMWORKS. Where do I begin? Seriously. I can’t begin to explain to you how much I love this movie. First of all, the plot is so creative, cute, funny and unique. I love dragons so much. They are so cute, that’s probably why this is the first Dreamworks movie to make me cry. Can you believe that? It had funny jokes in the right moments but seriously Dreamworks, you made a gem. It perfectly captures my emotions. It put me on the edge of my seat. I hate the dad and I always will, but man I feel for hiccup. A new trope that thankfully isn’t a cliche yet. I’ve always wanted to watch how to train your dragon. And I’m so glad I did. I’m also glad I waited. Because I hadn’t heard much about it, that made the movie perfect. The writers managed to make me fall in love with toothless, and then take it away, and give it back several times. I believe a good amazing movie doesn’t need to have a huge pages long review. It has to burn in my heart. And this movie does. I can’t wait to watch the other how to train your dragon movies. I love it. I love the scenery and background and the wales-ish island. It is timed very well. The ONLY thing I don’t like is Astrid and the dad. I feel like Astrid is bordering on the line of “I can do anything, I’m a feminist and I’m better than any man” except she’s a 14 year old so I’ll cut her some slack. Love this gem dreamworks. MADE ME CRY
- DirectorAndrew AdamsonKelly AsburyConrad VernonStarsMike MyersEddie MurphyCameron DiazShrek and Fiona travel to the Kingdom of Far Far Away, where Fiona's parents are King and Queen, to celebrate their marriage. When they arrive, they find they are not as welcome as they thought they would be.DREAMWORKS. Where to begin? This movie is so creative and unique. It makes me think this movie is made for adults. And that is exactly what I want. I don’t want to be talked down to by talking animals that kiss within the first few minutes. The adult jokes are so funny and mature. Like the pig playboy that the ‘gender confused’ wolf was reading. This movie is so smart for 2004. A little bit of meta and a little bit of love.. but less boring than the first movie. Something is so comforting about love that has already been found, and needs to be maintained. Everything is a parody of everything!!! The Hollywood sign and the red carpet. The writers took every opportunity with the fairytale creatures, I love it. Thank fully, donkey is less of a tiny dog that can communicate with humans by facial expressions. He is more of a side character. Another thing that I really really really like is how it uses popular music in that time so well in situations. Instead of stupid music that sounds royalty free, it uses amazing pop music. The setting is also super fun and makes me feel like I’m tagging on for an adventure. I love the witty banter and arguments. Other animation studios usually don’t have anything as blatant arguing. I hate to say that if shrek had just ignored donkey all of this would have stopped. But this movie is so freaking funny. So funny for all ages!! And here comes the mention of my favourite characters. “Hmm cherry flavoured, wanna taste? Oh but muffin!” “FYI not my fault” I love Prince Charming and fairy godmother because he break the status quo. AND THE MCDONALDS PARODY. Every single character is so unique and never seen before. AND THE JOKE THAT FAIRY GODMOTHER IS BASICALLY BIG PHARMA. But for real. So creative, funny, and an amazing use of techniques and storytelling. (I can’t believe I prefer this movie over all Pixar movies)
- DirectorDean DeBloisStarsJay BaruchelAmerica FerreraF. Murray AbrahamWhen Hiccup discovers Toothless isn't the only Night Fury, he must seek the Hidden World, a secret Dragon Utopia before a hired tyrant named Grimmel finds it first.DREAMWORKS. I still love the how to train your dragon franchise, but this movie just isn’t as good as the other two. That doesn’t mean it’s not freaking amazing. I was very excited to see what they did with this movie. I think they’re using hiccups mentor too much as a ‘funny guy’. I really like the themes of hiccup feeling incomplete without toothless. Also my god! The humour in these movies is *chefs kiss* “he only had eyes for your mom” hahahahahaha. This movie knows what’s funny. It manages to say everything without speaking. Plus so beautiful.
- DirectorMark OsborneJohn StevensonStarsJack BlackIan McShaneAngelina JolieTo everyone's surprise, including his own, Po, an overweight, clumsy panda, is chosen as protector of the Valley of Peace. His suitability will soon be tested as the valley's arch-enemy is on his way.DREAMWORKS. I really do love this movie. So much is happening and I love it a lot. It has the perfect mix of seriousness, morality and jokes. It really makes me chuckle. But not just that, it has some beautiful scenes and zoom outs, and it sets up the story amazingly. Jack Black was perfect for the role of Po. His voice suits it so well. All of the jokes are the best, except maybe the fatphobia, makes me feel kinda sad for Po, like I mean it wasn’t his fault he’s fat he’s a panda and also I don’t think he gets slimmer in kung fu panda 4 so I guess they keep bullying him? Now to address the fact that Po is a cliche. And in just about every bad movie review of mine you see me talking about ‘I’ve seen this character five times in the past few movies’ and Po is the classic funny fat clumsy best friend, but I feel like he shines well as the main character cause not only does he progress as a person, but it shows that this ‘side character’ persona can be the main plot point. And then the moral of the story. It’s refreshing to see actually. It’s that you can’t be chosen for your dreams, they have to be earnt. Just like everything in life. I also like how the furious five don’t like him immediately, it takes time to earn and build relationships with people. Everything takes time and if you’re willing to put the effort in. And plus the furious five aren’t cliches (that I’ve seen yet) they have their own capabilities and aren’t jokes. They aren’t there for a punchline. They are there for the purpose of story. Maybe I’m overthinking this but kung fu panda has more story than a lot of other Dreamworks movies that I’ve seen. Also you need to prove your worth to get to the top. Why don’t the people worship Oogway he can predict the future? Also I LOVE LOVE LOVE it when movie uses colour to express emotion. Beautiful. Anyway I think the point of this story is ‘quit, don’t quit, NOODLES’
- DirectorTom McGrathStarsWill FerrellJonah HillBrad PittEvil genius Megamind finally defeats his do-gooder nemesis, Metro Man, but is left without a purpose in a superhero-free world.DREAMWORKS. So strange. So different. I love it. I really wanna focus on what megamind is and how it challenges cliches that Dreamworks had written in stone. The main character is the villain, who is in fact flawed. He changes. He most important of all, if you get rid of what you think is burdening you, you’ll probably find out it was the only thing in life keeping you going. Megamind makes a new superhero is hopes of finding that once had meaning to life. And as he does that he is completely blind to the love he is finding for Roxanne. And speaking of Roxanne, I’m glad she’s not a feminist, she finds love when she does (a normal human being) It is fascinating how we are made to root for the villain. This movie is fun and a great mixture of comedy and love. Hal is really weird. Very weird. Ollo. ‘Not you Roxanne I was just yelling at my mothers urn’ Roxanne falls in love with megaminds personality. Love it. OLLO.
- DirectorBibo BergeronDon PaulJeffrey KatzenbergStarsKevin KlineKenneth BranaghRosie PerezTwo swindlers get their hands on a map to the fabled city of gold, El Dorado.DREAMWORKS. This movie is so freaking funny. I was so surprised. In a TON of early animated movies I watch, the characters are all so unlike able and gross and stupid but Miguel and Tulio are perfect. They have defining characteristics while also being the perfect duo. Miguel is my favourite, so funny. The animation was what surprised me most. I hate this kind of animation, but this movie is so good. The setting is a little old but comforting. Plus I get the feeling that Dreamworks was still trying to get its bearings on the animation world when they made this, as the first few movies I’ve reviewed are less kid themed and more… adult themed. While still staying G or PG. I really like the dialogue and their bickering. I do not like, however, how every old movie (or any movie) seems to think adding a woman with the tiniest waist and wearing almost nothing seems to add much plot to the story. AND! A surprise, It’s Tough To Be A God was my all time favourite song back then and all of a sudden I find out that I’ve been listening to a parody and this is the original. I love it when voice actors can sing as well. Miguel is the cutest god I’ve ever seen. The only reason this movie is above Toy Story 2 is cause it has lovely songs unlike any Pixar movie. Though I do like the chel and tulio love line… Megulio… no Tuligel… whatever their ship name is they are perfect for each other.
- DirectorChris MillerStarsAntonio BanderasSalma HayekZach GalifianakisAn outlaw cat, his childhood egg-friend, and a seductive thief kitty set out in search for the eggs of the fabled Golden Goose to clear his name, restore his lost honor, and regain the trust of his mother and town.DREAMWORKS. Cats and crime. Beautiful. A joke about puss having a one night stand… wow. It is actually fun to have a main character that’s a cat. I love cats so much, plus they managed to contain a lot of cat behaviour in it, like landing on their feet, meowing, and drinking milk. Especially drinking milk. He’s so serious and then in the bar he just starts licking his milk. I love it. I didn’t think that this story would be in the shrek universe but it seems like it does. Which is nice but I wish it would lean into it a little bit more. Except the egg. I hate humpty more than anything. He is so ugly, a he was the fault for their friendship breaking up. He was the jealous one. THE GOLDEN EGGS BEING HIS BALLS IS SO FUNNY HAHAHAHAHA. Wow a dance battle, I was kinda hoping for a song about how hard being a cat is, but a dance battle is okay. I’m so glad kitty isn’t a feminist cat who thinks she’s better than any Tom cat, except this handsome orange cat! Are you KIDDING??? The egg is THE VILLAIN???? I was halfway through the movie and Jack and Jill couldn’t have been the villains. Are we just gonna skip over the tiny puss in boots backstory? Cause that was the cutest thing in the world. AND HIS LITTLE MEWS. Oh look a fight club joke coming out of a giant egg. The setting is beautiful, and the skies in every scene are so well drawn. And the animation. And the characters actually have depth to them. I like it. Which is new for dreamworks but not for shrek. Plus I LOVE the running joke that Jack and Jill want a baby throughout the whole movie and no one acknowledges it Hahahahah. And this movie IS SO FUNNY. Plus this is the 50th movie I’ve reviewed and watched! I’m so proud of myself (:
- DirectorJill CultonTodd WildermanStarsChloe BennetAlbert TsaiTenzing Norgay TrainorThree teenagers must help a Yeti return to his family while avoiding a wealthy man and a zoologist who want him for their own needs.DREAMWORKS. I was very intrigued to see where this movie was going, since I thought I had seen it. Turns out I’ve never seen this movie before. This movie is very pretty. I also like the maturity of this movie. Simply a ‘wow so hot!’ Adds more depth that a simple Disney movie wouldn’t dare to do. I also love the setting. I love when an animated movie picks a country other than America and then also embraces the culture. Since china is so pretty. Why does every main character of every movie have to be ugly. Yi has a case of rectangle head syndrome. I do wish they had cast more Chinese voice actors. Usually I’d say the one this an animated movie needs to have is watchability. Every single age should be able to watch this movie and enjoy it. Also why does Peng sound like a boy hitting puberty but also a transgender boy going on testosterone for the first time. I LOVE Jin. I’ve truly never seen a character like him before. I also like the adult jokes. “Dude… you darted Dave.” “How many girlfriends do you have?” *smirks* this movie is lovely. It’s not over powering. It doesn’t make me laugh as much as it makes me smile. AND I JUST REALISED I CANT ROOT FOR YI AND JIN TO GET TOGETHER CAUSE THEY ARE COUSINS. I am however sick of the main character syndrome. When will we get a flawed but not annoying main character? Jin is so gay i love it. I feel like this is when they cast Rihanna in home. I really really like the perspective this movie gives. It doesn’t follow a normal kids movie agenda. We’re half way through and Jin’s already sold out to the enemy. As I was saying in my head about how weird Mr burnish is and how he is barely a villain and THEN THE TWIST COMES THAT I NEVER EXPECTED. Oh my god I am literally Dave.
- DirectorMike MitchellStarsMike MyersCameron DiazEddie MurphyRumpelstiltskin tricks a mid-life crisis burdened Shrek into allowing himself to be erased from existence and cast in a dark alternate timeline where Rumpelstiltskin rules supreme.DREAMWORKS. Still the funniest franchise in the world. The vampire blowing a kiss at the start really set me off haha. “Do the roar. Do the roar. I love you daddy.” I think Rumpel Stiltskin is my least favourite villain. He is funny cause he’s like a little boy. This movie is extra important in the shrek franchise because it’s about finding love in a loveless marriage and how love can always be re lit. “IM BEING ASS-NAPPED” it’s not as funny as it is sad. Most of the movie I just want them to get back together. “That’s my chimichanga stand. No cookie, we won’t be needing that” but Puss is fat and cute now!!!! The dialogue is still amazing and perfect and funny and beautiful. Love this.
- DirectorWalt DohrnDavid P. SmithStarsAnna KendrickJustin TimberlakeRachel BloomWhen the Queen of the Hard Rock Trolls tries to take over all the Troll kingdoms, Queen Poppy and her friends try different ways to save all the Trolls.DREAMWORKS. I had no clue what to expect. I’m pleasantly surprised. OH GOD ROMANCE YES FINALLY. And it’s not the perfect romance, it’s hard and difficult and ugh is that fucking James cordon again? God why is he everywhere I hate him. Okay so yes maybe they are just trying to be woke and funny by getting guy diamond to have a black baby but I think it’s just weird and they are trying too hard to be liked by younger generations. I freaking love branch, and it seems that he is literally always right. While poppy is so annoying and gets everything wrong and she stupid. I think maybe maybe maybe the point and moral of this movie is to show that not everyone thinks the same way and likes the same thing, for example music, and trying to push that on someone ends in struggle. Sure this movie might bite real hard into the stereotypes, I think it does the important job of showing children that there are other music genres out there. Haha! Mr Dinkles is suicidal! I do like the storyline but my favourite part of this movie is the subtlety of branch’s love for poppy. It’s literally all I wanted last movie.
- DirectorJoel CrawfordStarsNicolas CageEmma StoneRyan ReynoldsThe prehistoric family the Croods are challenged by a rival family the Bettermans, who claim to be better and more evolved.DREAMWORKS. I love Ryan Reynolds. I think that’s all I can say here and all I said with croods. I literally want him to kiss me on the mouth. I like how in this movie is showed more of Guys POV. Cause with last movie it started with Eep’s. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sequel that continues minutes after the first one. Awww! Mummmm! Just what I wanted! A caveman teenage love story! Holy shit. They used ‘I think I love you’ song. I LOVE that song. “All your needs will be met-“ “I’m hungry!-“ “IN A MINUTE” hahahahahaha. I hate that trope of people saying things slow to forge in people when they can understand English. Madagascar did it. There’s a lot of representation in this movie, except for gay people but that’s a stretch and a long term goal (plus Peter Dinklage is already doing a great job voicing a gay sounding dad) I like the tiger parent idea. I think Turning Red did I better though. I think this is similar to trolls 2. Being afraid of something you’ve never heard of is a bad way of seeing things. Oh great so Thunk’s strange C, D, E plot of being on his ‘window’ is actually a ‘really woke’ way of showing kids ‘now-a-days.’ Dude the dad is so gay omg. I like the hybrid animals.
- DirectorKirk DeMiccoFaryn PearlStarsJane FondaLana CondorToni ColletteA shy adolescent learns that she comes from a fabled royal family of legendary sea krakens and that her destiny lies in the depths of the waters, which is bigger than she could have ever imagined.DREAMWORKS. I was very excited to watch this movie. It came out a few days ago on streaming services so I stopped my illumination run for the minute. This movie is literally Luca X Turning Red. It’s wild. 1:32 seconds in and we already have the cliche of ‘blank assumed blank is its stereotype but is actually just a normal blank’. This movie is quite unique. It uses meme references and is so… pop culture-y. The fact that the dad runs a boat in bottle asmr channel is the funniest thing ever. I like the animation as well- AHHHHH GAYYYYYY. If only the main character. A girl can only wish. I knew I recognised Lisa Koshys voice. Are you kidding? The new girl is a mermaid, very self centred and loved by everyone. Okay so over exaggerated for laughs. But the mermaid is definitely the villain, or is it the boat guy, or is it Grandmamah?? So the point of this movie is to show us that if you add relatability and romance to animals, you have a children’s movie.
- DirectorAlessandro CarloniJennifer Yuh NelsonStarsJack BlackBryan CranstonDustin HoffmanContinuing his "legendary adventures of awesomeness", Po must face two hugely epic, but different threats: one supernatural and the other a little closer to home.DREAMWORKS. I love kung fu panda. I really admire the franchise. First of all, it’s beautiful. Especially the way china is portrayed. I don’t think they’ll make a better movie than number one. I still don’t think they give the furious five much more thought. I mean they aren’t cliches, and they have some real funny lines. I do like how it deals with some father issues. Like c’mon Po? Your dad shows up suddenly in your life and your A. Just going to forget about your adoptive dad and B. Going to trust him with your life? Of course he’d lie. Oh wait! Cliche train choo choo! Character lies about something he knows for personal gain and then everyone finds out about it! And I like the subtle idea of letting kids receive a positive representation of an adoptive dad. Also great use of the song ‘arrival of Kai’ great song that pairs well with a great moment. I like the themes of family and learning your roots. I like how they gave tigress a soft side. OH MY GOD. It’s kung fu fighting the song but in Chinese! I love it!
- DirectorJennifer Yuh NelsonStarsJack BlackAngelina JolieJackie ChanPo and his friends fight to stop a peacock villain from conquering China with a deadly new weapon, but first the Dragon Warrior must come to terms with his past.DREAMWORKS. The original is better. It had plot, and a moral. Here the furious five barely have personality, except for tigress. The plot is alright but the family aspects are strange. Also I’m a bit disappointed, because Poe randomly finds the dragon scroll, and then he knows kung fu, what happened to the morale of working to where you want to get to? I know that believing in yourself is a good message. It’s okay and I didn’t write a lot cause it did that thing where I pressed out of the note and it disappeared.
- DirectorSteve BoxNick ParkStarsPeter SallisHelena Bonham CarterRalph FiennesWallace and his loyal dog, Gromit, set out to discover the mystery behind the garden sabotage that plagues their village and threatens the annual giant vegetable growing contest.DREAMWORKS. Very pleasant movie. I love the animation and the setting. A quaint little town, plus the characters aren’t the worst people in the world. I do really like Gromit. It’s a creative movie without being too childish. ‘Nun wrestling’ hahaha. The twist was strange but welcome. Love this!
- DirectorPierre PerifelStarsSam RockwellMarc MaronAwkwafinaTo avoid prison, a gang of notorious animal criminals pretends to seek being rehabilitated, only for their leader to realize that he genuinely wants to change his ways.
- DirectorSimon J. SmithSteve HicknerStarsJerry SeinfeldRenée ZellwegerMatthew BroderickBarry B. Benson, a bee just graduated from college, is disillusioned at his lone career choice: making honey. On a special trip outside the hive, Barry's life is saved by Vanessa, a florist in New York City. As their relationship blossoms, he discovers humans actually eat honey and subsequently decides to sue them.DREAMWORKS. Yep. I finally watch the meme that I’ve been induring my whole life. It’s making a lot of life jokes that I only get around 15% cause that’s all of life I’ve been through. There are so many new jokes, so I don’t think I’m gonna comment on any of them unless they’re good. Also it fascinates me that Jerry Seinfeld was funny for like a few days and somehow for some reason Dreamworks tried to capitalise on it. Oh wait! I think I can hear a little bee buzzing in my ear and it’s saying ‘oh look it’s the cliche of blank wants to escape and stop being a blank and fuck a women 50 times it’s size.’ So it’s antz but with better graphics and bee jokes. I find there’s something comforting about a whole movie that’s just bee jokes. Yes! It’s Patrick Warburton!!! I love him more than anything. And the one thing that gets me when I watch bee movie is the fact they made Patrick shout all of his lines as don hahaha. WHY IS YOGURT NIGHT SO DIFFICULT? HOW DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF FLAMES? I love that guy. I know it’s supposed to be a cute moment between Vanessa and Barry but it’s just fucking weird, it’s not the age gap, it’s the size gap. I could feel the build up of an environmental issue throughout the whole movie and I hated it. Dont educate me Dreamworks. I just wanna hear bee jokes. You know what I wanna watch instead? A forbidden romance about a wasp and a bee (no I don’t). Woah watch out! Here come the conspiracy theories about humans and the drag queen jokes and self actualisation. Yay! Who knew there was religion? Bejesus? What? It’s only halfway through the movie and I’m watching the bee in court. And it’s stupid. No one acts that way in court??? Plus they got the celebrity sting from the band the police in the movie just for this stupid cameo? I think this is the worst romantic couple in animation history. I feel bad for Ken. Imagine your girl is cheating on you with a bee. Are all bees attracted to humans? Is there such thing as humansexual? I hate when movie shade their entire plot around a random guy who DIDNT WANNA BE A BLANK ANYMORE. Anyway the humans look creepy and this is getting a six
- DirectorTim JohnsonKarey KirkpatrickStarsBruce WillisGarry ShandlingSteve CarellA scheming raccoon fools a mismatched family of forest creatures into helping him repay a debt of food, by invading the new suburban sprawl that popped up while they were hibernating...and learns a lesson about family himself.DREAMWORKS. This movie is a huge point of nostalgia for me. Not good. Not bad. It feels like Dreamworks is trying to parody itself at this point. The main character who uses everyone and then lies about something, and then they all hate him and find out but oh it’s fine he said sorry and he kisses the girl of his dreams. Ridiculous. As I’ve been binging this Dreamworks marathon, I’ve noticed Dreamworks has the best soundtrack. I’m glad they made the step to licence good music. And why are the characters played by black actors always… sassy? Are we still stereotyping Dreamworks? And of course we have the scared dad that’s probably voiced by bill hader (I love that guy) why the hell does every house and person look like they’re from the sims 4? How do these animals not know what humans are?? I’m sad to say that the only thing I noticed to the extreme is the voice actor of Verne constantly moaning. I thought it was Jeff goldblum having sex but it’s not. They just need a character to target for all the funny jokes. One too many. The villain could’ve been more creative. But in all seriousness this movie is entertaining and fun. I miss this movie, even if it’s a little cliche.
- DirectorTom McGrathStarsAlec BaldwinJames MarsdenAmy SedarisThe Templeton brothers have become adults and drifted away from each other, but a new boss baby with a cutting-edge approach is about to bring them together again - and inspire a new family business.DREAMWORKS. This movie is cute. But it wasn’t needed. I could’ve gone without this movie. How has the dad only noticed the baby can talk now?? I feel like this’ll be like spirit untamed. Good message, conveyed in a bad way. Like the message of siblings growing apart. I hate the cocky baby and the surprise villain. Not surprised. AHHHH THE BLOWJOB JOKE. They knew everyone found that joke in the last movie. JEFF GOLDBLUM!! That even animated all of his voice quirks. “Ahh my texting hand” hey! Spirit legend of the cimmaron made a cameo. It’s tricky to rock around that’s right on time that’s right it’s tricky.
- DirectorEric DarnellTom McGrathStarsBen StillerChris RockDavid SchwimmerThe Madagascar animals fly back to New York City, but crash-land on an African nature reserve in Kenya, where they meet others of their own kind, and Alex especially discovers his royal heritage as prince of a lion pride.DREAMWORKS. 10 hours of Chris Rock talking to himself free version. It’s nice to finally have a backstory to these characters. Even if it’s just a further delve into cliche. The biggest disappointment in the history of animation. Is melman gay? He said ‘you mean boys?’ And rushed off when melman said ‘dating?’ Turns out he’s not gay and the second best option is Gloria. Honestly, don’t put a song from number one into the sequel. People don’t like it that much I can tell you that. And it’s the same with king Julian. He adds nothing to the story. Just cause he was liked as the comedic character for a second. They just made a 5 second excuse for him to be in the sequel. This is the worst sequel ever. A good sequel separates 80% from the original, 15% from original, and 5% inside jokes you’d only get from number one. When will we get a main (or god forbid a side) gay character? That doesn’t have three lines. Is that too much to ask? I take it back. I actually like Julian as a recurring character because they brought back the GRANNY. THE GRANNY THAT BEAT UP ALEX IN ONE FREAKING SCENE. Why? Why did they bring her back? She brought nothing to the story last movie, and now they are trying to shoehorn her back in as a- what side character? If melman was gay and king Julian and granny weren’t there, this would be higher. But well done to Dreamworks for shoehorning romance into a movie (that didn’t originally have it) without introducing a character. The joke where Alex didn’t think the African animals could speak makes me so furious. It’s trying to make an offence joke funny. Fuck you. That sign dancing? Fuck you. And they couldn’t afford more than one voice actor for the zebras? Hence Chris rock constantly talking to himself. I think moto moto likes you. I LIKE EM BIG I LIKE EM CHUNKY. Fuck you. Oh no! Here comes the disappointed dad trope. What’s with the humans in the jungle b plot? What the hell? Where did you come up with that? I’d like to kiss you monkey man, alright but you’re so darn ugly. I will admit. The reason that this movie isn’t lower than the first one is because of the whole melman X Gloria storyline. I hope it continues. It’s so cute. If I had a penny for every movie with a villain that looked like/is Nathan Fillion, I’d have two pennies, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice. Better than the first one but still dog shit.
- DirectorAndrew AdamsonVicky JensonStarsMike MyersEddie MurphyCameron DiazA mean lord exiles fairytale creatures to the swamp of a grumpy ogre, who must go on a quest and rescue a princess for the lord in order to get his land back.DREAMWORKS. It’s meh. I definitely prefer the other shrek films because of the quirky characters (not now kitten, daddy will discuss it later). The animation was a little dodge and donkey was annoying as fuck. But the music choice was pretty nice. There’s not much else to say about it.
- DirectorTom McGrathStarsAlec BaldwinSteve BuscemiJimmy KimmelA suit-wearing, briefcase-carrying baby pairs up with his 7-year old brother to stop the dastardly plot of the CEO of Puppy Co.DREAMWORKS. The art style looks like inside out. And the portrayal of family and jealousy is sorta the same as well. Okay I have to admit, I hate when narrators are used in movies. It feels lazy. Like you couldn’t explain what he’s saying in ANY other way? So I assume the purpose of this movie is to show what a kids imagination is like. And what the kid sees when a new baby comes. It’s creative and the plot is thought out, though I wished they had taken more time to think through the plot and make it more interesting. I like the premise, not the portrayal. God I love Steve Buscemi. He’s perfect at playing villains. (Cries in Randall) oh so now I feel bad. I hate when someone who doesn’t deserve it gets the blame. Oh look! A blowjob joke in boss baby! Let it be known! I hate the butt and fart jokes. “Your father is a hippy”. Why are people in these movies so polite? Just talk over the villain and tell your parents he’s gonna kill you. Also “blackbird singing in the dead of nighttttttttttttt…!”
- DirectorPeter RamseyStarsHugh JackmanAlec BaldwinIsla FisherWhen the evil spirit Pitch launches an assault on Earth, the Immortal Guardians team up to protect the innocence of children all around the world.DREAMWORKS. Hugh Jackman. Two words. One man. He makes this movie you know? He makes this movie a five and not a four. I’ll try not to be too harsh on this movie cause I’ve seen it so many times. The boogeyman will ALWAYS be the hottest Dreamworks villain. The egg of course is last place, duh. Back when this was my favourite movie, back when I used to watch it all the time, the Easter bunny was my favourite character. Not just because he’s a soft plushie bunny, but because he was the best portrayal of Australians that was available for a young girl. Cause it wasn’t a negative portrayal, and he was voiced by an amazing Australian, Hugh Jackman. And yes I know they probably got him to do an exaggerated accent but he makes the movie. There is a little too much bickering for a Dreamworks movie, but it adds a little depth to the characters. I feel like they’re also skimping on the voice actors, no sandman? Or man on the moon? This movie is mid. Truly I can’t say that the animation is good for its time cause it’s 2012. This is what animation was then. The movie is comforting. A nostalgic item for me. But I can’t unwatch this movie five times. And every time I watch a movie again, the boring-ness doubles. This is a cute story about how important it is for kids to have something to believe in. And that little Sophie storyline was adorable.
- DirectorKirk DeMiccoChris SandersStarsNicolas CageRyan ReynoldsEmma StoneAfter their cave is destroyed, a caveman family must trek through an unfamiliar fantastical world with the help of an inventive boy.DREAMWORKS. Okay. The setting is mildly interesting and I do like the hybrid animals. But this movie is so fucking stupid, and the fact that guy names things perfectly to what English call them. Oh! Here comes the cliche machine! Vroom vroom blank doesn’t wanna be a blank anymore and live with the other blanks in their blank anymore vroom vroom. I’m so tired of this movie and we only just hit halfway. The romance and Ryan Reynolds is the only redeeming quality. They are all so fucking stupid. It’s just a bunch of B.o.b’s again. I hate it so much. A little bit of stupidity is KINDA funny. Only when in small doses. Though it’s kinda creative. And also they all speak English? Aren’t they cavemen? Wouldn’t they be speaking in ughs and arghs? I hate eep. She’s so annoying. I love Ryan Reynolds as much as the next guy but he doesn’t really suit Guy? This movies characters are just a bunch of smarter maters and one McQueen. Fuck myself.
- DirectorRob MinkoffStarsTy BurrellMax CharlesStephen ColbertSherman, a young boy, misuses a time machine made by his scientist father Mr. Peabody and causes the world history to go haywire. It is now up to Mr. Peabody to rescue his son and the world.DREAMWORKS. I knew nothing about this movie when I started watching this. I just guessed it was about a dog. I was surprisingly wrong. So first of all. Who calls their dad ‘Mr Peabody’? Like wouldn’t you call him dad? It’s also a bit strange that he treats his dad and vice versa like it’s a student teacher relationship. Which is not good for kids. I reckon you need more characters to make it entertaining, and deeper. Penny isn’t even a real bully. Who laughs at that dog joke? No one? She’s just a dogist- animalist? I don’t know but it’s cool that it was enemies to lovers. But the real reason this is ranked higher than normal, is because of that Beautiful Boy song by John Lennon. That song kicks me in the feels, especially when it’s in the background of a cute montage. But I didn’t cry, this could’ve become the 2nd Dreamworks movie I cried at. But still it makes the movie, as well as the myth, the man, the legend of a character that was in the movie for ten minutes; PATRICK WARBURTON. The fact he yells all of his lines will never not be funny. This movie is so… weird. Like what is happening? What is the setting? Why portray the historical figures like that? STEVEN COLBERT? What? Why? No one asked him. In the worst movies. So the kid doesn’t get any joke except the boobies one? Half of the jokes don’t land, the other half are for a specific audience, such as the perfect joke ‘we have to get the other Sherman out of here before he touches himself!” HAHAHAHAH a joke about a seven year old touching himself are you kidding? Also I hate to be that guy for like the 10th time, but how are these guys speaking perfect English but with accents? I know for a fact that the Egyptians did not speak English. I think… maybe… the message is about fatherly love…? Maybe? It’s not too strong, but it certainly doesn’t make you think.
- DirectorMike MitchellWalt DohrnStarsAnna KendrickJustin TimberlakeZooey DeschanelAfter the Bergens invade Troll Village, Poppy, the happiest Troll ever born, and the curmudgeonly Branch set off on a journey to rescue her friends.DREAMWORKS. Yep. Okay! Trolls. Nice. It’s cute. It’s kinda funny sometimes. So… trolls are cocaine? Once again Dreamworks with the bomb soundtrack. I think this movie is a little childish, like fart and butt jokes? I like movies where the humour is what the writer finds funny, but this movie feels like the writers tried to write according to what they THINK kids find funny. But I reckon this movie has a really cool premise that’s unique and creative. I bet they can milk this franchise. Poppy is the real villain here, annoying AND pushes boundaries. I find it really weird that the trolls can bend their hair like it’s a muscle. I never noticed that poppy had a crush on creek. I also forgot he’s the villain as well lol. “Little slappy? Make daddy happy?” Hahahahahahahaha I love the cloud. It’s probably the cloud and Rhys Darby that are the best things to come out of this movie. Oooooh! Clint Eastwood?? Amazing use of a song! “I think I had a sarcasm once” awwww orgasm joke! So like I said in my HTTYD2 review, every good movie has a moment where you TRULY think nothing can get better. This movie doesn’t have that. 1. I know what’s gonna happen cause I’ve already seen this movie and 2. It’s so predictable, why would they end on this note? Anyway it’s cool.
- DirectorEric DarnellTom McGrathConrad VernonStarsBen StillerJada Pinkett SmithChris RockThe Madagascar animals join a struggling European circus to get back to New York, but find themselves being pursued by a psychotic animal-control officer.DREAMWORKS. 10 hours of Chris Rock shouting all of his lines free version. I wish there was more Melman and Gloria. That was the whole reason number 2 was better than number one. It was cause romance usually spices up movie very very well. But they are just calling each other baby in this movie, I’m glad they didn’t forget but still man. Oh no! It’s the fucking trope of ‘American man who uses foreigners to get what he wants and lies.’ Hey… king Julian? I think you’re gay buddy. The characters still have no depth and we’re 3 movies in. They are just annoying. In a ‘funny’ way. Why is she singing in French??? What does that add to the story??? This is a kids movie??? God worst villain ever. Also can someone tell the writers that over exaggerated accents are in deed not funny?
- DirectorBibo BergeronVicky JensonRob LettermanStarsWill SmithRobert De NiroRenée ZellwegerWhen a son of a gangster shark boss is accidentally killed while on the hunt, his would-be prey and his vegetarian brother decide to use the incident to their own advantage.DREAMWORKS. Really? A mafia parody Dreamworks? I mean Jack black is a literal god, but this movie is flawed. I say that I want a main character that is flawed… and I do… and this Oscar fish is flawed.. but the movie doesn’t recognise that Oscar is flawed. He’s a bad character and is unlikeable. I hate him and this movie is too much adult. A fish with a tiny waist? Fucking really? Dreamworks dipped TOO far into the shrek adult jokes. Lola is a fucking gold digger, which is not a joke the kids would get. Sure the adults would but this is shitty animation and plot. I watched this when I was little and I am surprised how much I remember. This whole freaking movie is a parody. The Jamaican jellyfish? Who thought of that? And why did they think it was funny? And the mafia shark? If I had seen any SINGLE mafia movie I might get it a little but the accents? Also now there is race? He said that white fish don’t get it. The movie is very predictable. And they put literal torture in this movie. Even with the b plot about mafia sharks, the a plot about Oscar the big liar is shit. The whole movie is based around a lie. Who wants to see that? Anyway the setting could’ve been better the same with the music. This movie really did well on shrek and it made a huge mistake. It made another shrek. It did that thing where a random character comes out and sings a song to the credits and then the credits introduce the voice actors. Shrek did it better. Don’t try to out shrek shrek.
- DirectorTim JohnsonStarsJim ParsonsRihannaSteve MartinAn alien on the run from his own people makes friends with a girl. He tries to help her on her quest, but can be an interference.DREAMWORKS. It’s… nothing. I’m waiting for the story to start. It feels like an episode of Rick and Morty. But without Rick and Morty, and the funniness. It has no likeable characters. And no proper villain. He’s not engaging nor with reason. It has a bratty annoying main girl character. And a side-made-main character that’s only there for laughs. Jim parsons is the only good thing to come in and out of this movie. Sure, it’s sort of sweet and cute. But it’s not something I have a lot to say about. Also one of the worst soundtracks in a Dreamworks movie.
- DirectorEric DarnellTom McGrathStarsChris RockBen StillerDavid SchwimmerA group of animals who have spent all their life in a New York zoo end up in the jungles of Madagascar, and must adjust to living in the wild.DREAMWORKS. A five year olds fever dream. It’s just a stereotype. I can bet you this’ll be like Toy Story and I’ll definitely prefer the newest ones. But a giant cliche. The lion who is dreamy and so full of himself? The hippo who is sassy and mean? The giraffe which is nervous and anxious? The zebra who is the voice of reason and wants to escape? Ugh can we have some depth to these characters? What is Dreamworks thing for escapism? The expressions are way too animated it’s infuriating. And I hate to be that guy again but how can the animals understand each other but only at certain moments? This movie breaks its own continuity cause it’s convenient. But I like king Julian and the animation is way better than like sinbad or something. Other than that this movie is full of shit. If I don’t like it in the first half then I won’t like the rest of it.
- DirectorPatrick GilmoreTim JohnsonStarsBrad PittCatherine Zeta-JonesJoseph FiennesThe sailor of legend is framed by the goddess Eris for the theft of the Book of Peace and must travel to her realm at the end of the world to retrieve it and save the life of his childhood friend Prince Proteus.DREAMWORKS. If our flag means death and nimona had an ugly, bad CGI love child. It’s mediocre at best times, others it’s bad. Can we just have ONE flawed main character instead of a bad boy jock who is apparently amazing at everything- except treating girls with respect! The only thing that caught my eye was the weird former lover best friend thing and then the ‘falling in love with former best friend’s arranged wife’. Nimona has two gay best friends who are secretly in love with one another and the other betrays someone and something happens and everyone wants to kill him. They end up together. While our flag means death is a gay PIRATE romance which is live action and they end up together. They have nothing in common, which makes this love child so god damn strange and it doesn’t really work. We want to cheer for sinbad and marina but marina is with another man??? The same man that sinbad is doing all of this to save. Plus I get it, making everyone on the boat ugly so sinbad is the hottest. They always have to add a women to make everything less gay. ALWAYS. It’s not even half way through the movie and they already kiss (in a non consensual way of course) but the movie has gone on about how women shouldn’t be on boats and FEMINISM !!! But that’s stupid. I absolutely hate feminism plot lines, they are too overused and it’s kinda obvious, we have gone over this. Of course women can be on boats do we have to make a whole movie about it? Plus animals can’t make facial expressions that humans can understand. All dogs do is sit there and wag their little tails and bark. That’s it. I hate hate hate animal side kicks in movies. Unless of course the movie is nothing but animals and that’s when I hate the whole movie (: Honestly if the humans looked less ugly and maybe it was gay then I’d like it better. But of course it’s 2003. And the animation is less bad and more god awful. Don’t fucking mix CGI and drawing together. It looks like a college student pasted it into a background. And also dreamworks still hasn’t gotten its bearings!!! 1. A joke about a black man’s nipples and how they are so spiky and to put a shirt on. 2. They made a joke about the earth being flat. This shit is so fucking weird. But the monsters are entertaining and it’s nice to see a romance between humans for once and not chickens or horses.
- DirectorDavid BowersSam FellStarsHugh JackmanKate WinsletIan McKellenThe story of an uptown rat that gets flushed down the toilet from his penthouse apartment, ending in the sewers of London, where he has to learn a whole new and different way of life.DREAMWORKS. This movie is disgusting. The animation AND the plot. It’s trying to be stop motion but it’s not… it’s animation or CGI or something. Plus sewer rats shouldn’t be wearing clothes motherfucker. There are too many childish jokes. The whole movie is a joke. A posh rat in the sewers? Sad and gross. What’s up with all stop motion being British? ‘Ave you seen my dad?’ It’s an… interesting setting to say the least. No. No no no no no way that this is another one of those “I’m a woman, so I can do anything. I’m tough and won’t waste my time on any man no siree!” Oh unless the man is cute and handsome and kind. Then I’ll wait the whole movie to make out! God. This looks and feels like a kids tv show on a free tv channel. Oh! Great! A ‘funny’ joke about testing shampoo on mice! Love it! I hate hate hate when the two main characters hate each other and then fall in love. Or just enemy’s to lovers I guess. There is no way Roddy is still walking around when his balls were smacked so hard many many times. Slipping and falling and smacking jokes are funny, only when the timing is right. And not every 5 seconds. Wait oh no. Am I attracted to the mouse? The rat? He’s singing on the table. Well I found out why I’m so in love with the mouse. He’s voiced by Hugh Jackman. Poor guy. Hot guy. And that’s why this is a 2 and not a 1. Can’t believe this movie exists.
- DirectorElaine BoganEnnio TorresanStarsIsabela MercedMarsai MartinMckenna GraceLucky Prescott's life is changed forever when she moves from her home in the city to a small frontier town and befriends a wild mustang named Spirit.DREAMWORKS. So yeah. Originally I hate spirit, the first movie, and I was disgusted that they made a second one… and I’m still disgusted. Who the fuck liked that movie so much? Horses just aren’t my thing. And I’m prepared to complain. We all know this by now, I love pandas, dragons and freaking ogres. But horses are just not cool. I don’t mind the backstory though. And surprisingly the B plot is better than the main storyline. If this movie had the dad stuff but swapped the horses with cats, it’s be a ten. Much like her, I haven’t seen my dad is ten years. Luckys character traits are barely anything. Clumsy? Oh! HAHA OH MY GOD I GET THE JOKE SHES NOT LUCKY BUT HER NAME IS LUCKY AHAHAHHA /: if lucky was a lesbian with Abigail maybe this would be better. I do like the dad though. I like the representation of an estranged relationship. She doesn’t even remember him. Also the soundtrack sucks bro?? Also this is NOT how small towns work. You don’t just automatically gain friends. That was the movie being lazy. If I hear her say ‘easy boy’ one more time I’ll shit my pants. What happened Dreamworks? I thought we were done with the cliches? Unrealistic representation of children and small towns, realistic representation of a father who’s never had to father before. Except for the end. Who just changes their mind like that? We both full well know that lucky is probably voiced by a 30 year old woman. I hate to be that guy again, but horses simply cannot communicate or understand humans that clearly. I live in the country. I don’t need more country. I thought this was gonna be a woke coming of age. I’m disappointed.
- DirectorEric DarnellSimon J. SmithStarsTom McGrathChris MillerChristopher KnightsSkipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private join forces with undercover organization The North Wind to stop the villainous Dr. Octavius Brine from destroying the world as we know it.DREAMWORKS. This whole movie is just, "wow! this movie is so creative and has never been done before!" oh here comes the cliche of the main characters being outcasts and different than the others when young. i feel like they always give a really talented voice actor to an animal and then the other animal side kick a silent role. Are they just skimping on voice actors? Because each movie I watch, it feels like thats the case. Cliche where the main character invents something that already exists and calls it something else. Also why is only one penguin British??? Kinda okay origin story but still boring and full of cliches. Just replaying a song in the background to avoid using old voice actors!? Horrible. Really don’t wanna spend anymore money than you have to, right Dreamworks? Ridiculous. Homophobia. Blatant homophobia. Making the silent penguin also gay JUST for laughs. Kill yourself. These throw away gags are ones I’d only laugh at if I was drunk or a 5 year old. (I am neither at the moment) Cliche of when the main character can’t get another characters name right. Fun. Hahahahahahahahaha. The zoom call was hilarious. “Dave your microphone isn’t on… it’s the little button in the corner.” BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH???? WHAT OH MY GOD WHAT. I actually hate the b plot of private not be appreciated. That’s never been done before! You wanna know what the only good thing about this movie is? The ONLY great thing is a running joke that Benedict Cumberbatch can’t say penguin right. About a year or two ago he narrated a documentary about penguins and pronounced it peng-wing. He was laughed at so hard. And he pronounces it Peng-wing in the movie too, at the most serious times. Perfect. It’s just a throwback/throw forward. Ken jeong? I recognise the voice… oh my god he plays the seal. I wish they would give him bigger roles with more depth instead of a side character. Anyway this movie is so boring. Can’t stand it.
- DirectorDavid SorenStarsRyan ReynoldsPaul GiamattiMaya RudolphA freak accident might just help an everyday garden snail achieve his biggest dream: winning the Indy 500.DREAMWORKS. Dreamworks made cars. It’s horrible. The snails look horrifying. But it has Ryan Reynolds, shouldn’t it be good? Nope. Not this time. He can save croods, he can’t save turbo. And ken jeong? Poor guys. And snoop dog? Man he was probably too high to remember doing this gig. The plot is boring. It’s literally about a blank who doesn’t wanna be a blank anymore and somehow becomes a blank. Ugh. I hate this movie. I can’t forgive you Ryan. Not this time. Plus there is no real villain. Just a snail who is unhappy about this whole situation and a passive aggressive competitor who does nothing. Really?
- DirectorPeter LordNick ParkStarsMel GibsonJulia SawalhaPhil DanielsWhen a cockerel apparently flies into a chicken farm, the chickens see him as an opportunity to escape their evil owners.DREAMWORKS. Why? Why does this movie exist? It’s a cliche but with a British accent. It heavily ‘hero-ises’ Americans. Oh so you want to say that any American rooster that goes to England is immediately handsome, funny and can solve everyone’s problems? Anyway the rats are gay together and I fucking hate chickens. I mean now I do. It has no likeable characters. Who tf am I supposed to root for? Fucking Babs? Exactly. It was obvious from the beginning, the rooster can’t freaking fly. DUH. So predictable and boring. At least the animation is a little more interesting but the setting is actually ridiculous. I’m only halfway through the movie and we are STILL AT THE FUCKING CHICKEN COOP. A good movie has adventure, interesting characters, a good setting and a perfect plot. This has none. I think I can name like 100 movies like this one, where the main character is trying to escape and comes across someone who says he can but actually can’t. And Mr tweedy is so cute and sweet to Mrs tweedy but she’s ungrateful and a shitty villain. Fuck the year 2000. (Mac looks like slideshow bob) Pixar stop releasing romances about animals. It’s fucking weird. So I’ve got some news, my sister told me that chicken run was allegory for the holocaust. I now realise it.
- DirectorDavid SorenStarsKevin HartThomas MiddleditchEd HelmsTwo overly imaginative pranksters named George and Harold hypnotize their principal into thinking he's a ridiculously enthusiastic, incredibly dimwitted superhero named Captain Underpants.DREAMWORKS. Talented actors, bad movie and bad premise. If I had a nickel for every German villain that I’ve seen nick kroll play, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but weird that it’s happened twice. I have to say, I did not have high hopes coming into this movie, and I still don’t have them half way. The fourth wall breaks want me to kill myself, but I still have the rest of this movie to watch. I used to adore the books but they should stay books. I also hate how they named this movie Captain Underpants: The first epic movie. Thinking they could milk this. The animation is pleasant but the comedy is ridiculous. It gets old at some point. You realise that right? Everyone is a cliche. Everything. SNZKISJAD NICK KROLL MY LOVE. He’s my baby. None of this movie is funny nor entertaining. Kevin Hart’s talents shouldn’t be wasted on shit like this. Also kristain shaal is a beautiful human being.
- DirectorSean CharmatzStarsJacob TremblayPaul Walter HauserColin HanksA boy with an active imagination faces his fears on an unforgettable journey through the night with his new friend: a giant, smiling creature named Dark.DREAMWORKS. This movie an absolute shit. Devoid of thought and creativity. Boring and teaches a useless lesson. It needs so much more. It’s just night?? The daughter showing up was a nice touch but it just kept going. It feels like a YouTube short animated film that won an award at a festival or something. But that’s all it should be. Maybe if it spoke less, was gay, less in dreams, the characters had more depth and weren’t cliches, and wasn’t so predictable, I’d like it. None of the characters are likeable. Also what on earth is this art style?? Stop motion but not? Tim Burton but not? This kid has every kind of anxiety and needs to go to a psychologist, not… Dark…? Like oh no! Let’s all feel sorry for and pity… the absence of light? Okay. This movie was a total let down. Also what’s with the time travel? It just pushed itself into a story that wasn’t needed.
- DirectorRob LettermanConrad VernonStarsReese WitherspoonRainn WilsonStephen ColbertA woman transformed into a giant after she is struck by a meteorite on her wedding day becomes part of a team of monsters sent in by the U.S. government to defeat an alien mastermind trying to take over Earth.DREAMWORKS. What? Why? It has no plot. I was waiting the whole movie for something interesting to happen. Nothing. First of all the humans are the most ugliest things in the world. And couldn’t she see that Derek was a dick? It was obvious. Oh yay! Here come the characters! I can’t wait to see- oh. There are no characters. A cockroach, a slime ball and a sea monster. Dreamworks seem to think that everyone loves stupid characters. They don’t. Stop making characters so dumb. You can’t get any dumber than B.o.b. The thing that makes a character funny IS the personality, and the blob has no personality, it has no brain. Not funny, never will be. Oh look it’s the trope of ‘we can’t explain this in a creative way so we have to get an old man to escort her around the place and tell her everything.’ “Oh little Debbie please don’t cry it makes my knee hurt” WHAT? That was actually funny. But the thing that irks me so bad is the fact these aliens speak ENGLISH. WHAT IS THE LIKELY-NESS? It doesn’t even know what earth is. Oh look it’s Steven Colbert! Holy cow he voic- I don’t care. Why? Cause this plot is shit. And now he’s playing Axel F on the keyboard for the alone. Steve Colbert stop dancing. And stop chucking up the peace sign like it’s cool. Ew ew ew ew ew. This alien thing is so predictable. Dude, if aliens really do exist, they are literally nothing we can even comprehend. It would be nothing like this. “I ask myself what would Oprah do?” Where are the likeable characters? I can’t see them. The screaming lady joke will never be funny. This movie is only going A LITTLE bit higher because of the stupid lines that make me laugh. I can’t believe Rainn Wilson (my god) voices the alien overlord.
- DirectorKelly AsburyLorna CookStarsMatt DamonJames CromwellDaniel StudiA captured mustang remains determined to return to his herd no matter what.DREAMWORKS. 10 hours of free horse noises. That’s what this is. Horse noises with a voice over. The setting is literally just a hill or something? You already know I’m not a fan of this kind of animation. And maybe they could have made the background more realistic? And look better? They try to make you on edge but the best they can do is a horse chase and a few too many ‘kicking the face’ gags for me to find it funny. Sure, it’s cuter than ants and bugs… but it won’t be anything more than that. I don’t really like horses, the same with cars. If I wanted to see a horse romance I’d search up ‘fan fic horse nsfw’ just like I would have if I wanted to see a chicken romance. Another thing it has in common with chicken run is that it assumes all horses (or chickens) want to escape and they hate their owners. When the brown and white horse dies, I don’t care.. cause all I’ve seen it do IS MAKE HORSE NOISES FOR 10 HOURS. No character development = no sadness. The sound track is terrifyingly ridiculous. I think it would be the first search for ‘royalty free country inspiration music’ plus I hate to be that guy, but the horses shouldn’t understand humans? How tf do they know what a gun is and how they should run from it. The horse shouldn’t get anything the boy is saying, unless he uses a harder tone of voice. Which he never does. Plus speaking of the boy talking, it’s English!!! He shouldn’t know English? That would be he’s constantly around the English men, which we learn he isn’t. I appreciate that some of the folk speak in their native language. Also RACISM?? HORSEISM??? HUMANISM??? The English men hate the native Americans, the horse hates the humans, ‘two-legged, unnaturals’ this movie is a pile of horse shit (which we never actually see despite being in front of this horse for 80 minutes)
- DirectorRob LaDucaRobert C. RamirezStarsBen AffleckMark HamillRichard HerdA prophet who has the ability to interpret dreams is sold into slavery in Egypt, where people learn of his gifts.DREAMWORKS. Who sells their own brother?? And who had that many kids? And the names one Isaacar? I mean it wasn’t his fault he’s born with powers given to him by… god. Like okay Dreamworks we see you and your bible stories. But I’d like to thank my schools clickview for letting me watch this bullshit. And yes that one Egypt slave song was bomb.
- DirectorBrenda ChapmanSteve HicknerSimon WellsStarsVal KilmerRalph FiennesMichelle PfeifferEgyptian Prince Moses learns of his identity as a Hebrew and his destiny to become the chosen deliverer of his people.DREAMWORKS. Really? A biblical story right after an ants one? When does this studio start making good things? You really think me (let alone millions of kids) wanna watch a story about Moses? With horrible music and gross animation. No. I can’t understand what the hell is happening in this movie. Plus the songs are mid tier.
- DirectorEric DarnellTim JohnsonLawrence GutermanStarsWoody AllenSharon StoneGene HackmanA rather neurotic ant tries to break from his totalitarian society while trying to win the affection of the princess he loves.DREAMWORKS. You think I’m gonna cut this movie some slack cause it’s Dreamworks’s first movie? NOPE. This is the most idiotic excuse for a romance movie. I fucking hate bugs life and I hate this. First of all it’s completely ugly. The ants look nothing like anything I’d wanna watch. The premise isn’t very well thought out. Who wants a war/romance movie about ants? It’s a cliche of “blank who is going against the status quo and doesn’t wanna be a blank anymore” gross. Disgusting. Fuck this movie to hell. The plot is the most boring thing a kindergartener wouldn’t even watch.