Worst Movies I've Seen
This will probably be an ongoing list considering these are the special kind of bad movies. These are the movies that make me angry enough to want to punch something.
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- DirectorZack SnyderStarsEmily BrowningVanessa HudgensAbbie CornishA young girl institutionalized by her abusive stepfather retreats to an alternative reality as a coping strategy and envisions a plan to help her escape.This movie had such an interesting sounding premise. "A girl is forced into the job of being a stripper, and makes up a fantasy world in her head, to get away from the negative things she's experiencing in reality." But it's directed by Zach Snyder so of course, he screws it up. Pretty much a movie made by 13-year-old boys, for 13-year-old boys. Nothing but skimpily-dressed women standing in front of explosions for 2, extremely grating hours. With an ending that tries to make the movie look like it's deeper than it actually is.
- DirectorElizabeth BanksSteven BrillSteve CarrStarsEmma StoneStephen MerchantRichard GereA series of interconnected short films follows a washed-up producer as he pitches insane story lines featuring some of the biggest stars in Hollywood.A movie that makes most people's "Worst" lists, and rightfully so. I'll admit, I watched this movie out of morbid curiosity, and I really wish I'd listened to the little voice in my head telling me "don't do it!" This movie is supposed to be a comedy and yet it is painfully unfunny. It only got 3 laughs out of me in the hour and 45 minutes it goes on for. And 2 of those laughs could be described as chuckles, out of desperation to laugh at anything, and not genuine laughs.
I imagine everyone in the all-star cast it sports must have done something pretty horrible in a past life to end up in this miserable, obnoxious pile of droppings. - DirectorM. Night ShyamalanStarsNoah RingerNicola Peltz BeckhamJackson RathboneAang, a young successor to a long line of Avatars, must master all four elements and stop the Fire Nation from enslaving the Water Tribes and the Earth Kingdom.Even if you're not a huge fan of the cartoon, like I am, this is a painfully boring, and not well acted movie. The action sequences look like the actors are doing them while they're asleep. I would call it a "cliff notes" version of the first season of the show, but I've read better cliff notes of it on the internet.
- DirectorRandy MooreStarsRoy AbramsohnElena SchuberKatelynn RodriguezIn a world of fake castles and anthropomorphic rodents, an epic battle begins when an unemployed father's sanity is challenged by a chance encounter with two underage girls on holiday.Just like with "Sucker Punch" this movie pulled me in with an interesting idea: a movie shot at the Disney parks. From the looks and description of it, it looked like a sort of horror-comedy where a man's vacation at Disneyland goes horribly wrong. That sounds great...But it's not! This movie completely squanders it's unique premise and is instead filled with, mostly pointless sequences just showing footage of the theme park, with an occasional "scary" image. It literally feels like someone's vacation footage, they decided to try and turn into a movie. Plus it's surprisingly joyless, I'm not sure if that's meant to be ironic, considering it takes place in the "happiest place on Earth" but if it is the filmmakers don't do irony very well.
The only positive thing I can say is, the actors do a surprisingly good job with what they're given. - DirectorDavid KelloggStarsMatthew BroderickRupert EverettJoely FisherA security guard's dreams come true when he is selected to be transformed into a cybernetic police officer.This may sound weird, but did any of you ever see, or enjoy the show "Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide." It's a fun show filled with fourth-wall breaking, sound effects and silly scenarios, and it did these very well.
I say this because the Inspector Gadget movie is pretty much "NDSSG" done awful. It uses the cartoon sound effects way too often, practically every second. Matthew Brodrick looks absolutely confused. And it practically spits all over the cartoon, with how much of it they just disregard for the sake of just doing stupid and unfunny physical gags. - DirectorMark DindalStarsZach BraffJoan CusackGarry MarshallAfter ruining his reputation with the town, a courageous chicken must come to the rescue of his fellow citizens when aliens start an invasion.Of all the movies Disney has made over the years this one feels like the worst. Confused humor, a blatant attempt (for some reason) to be kind of like Dreamworks (as this was around the time Shrek was still relevant), and terrible mean-spirited characters, especially the father of Chicken Little.
I would definitely say that this is worse than Home on the Range, as at least that had some good 2-D animation, despite how bad the rest of that movie was. Chicken Little though has some pretty miserable CGI animation, as it was the first time Disney used CGI animation.
If you want a good talking animal Disney movie for your kids show them Robin Hood, or Zootopia. They're both better made, and much more entertaining than this train wreck. - DirectorClay WeinerStarsLucas CruikshankPixie LottJake WearyLovestruck, awkward teen Fred Figglehorn makes desperate attempts to make Judy fall in love with him - while also dodging the mischievous Kevin.I feel like this is the perfect representation of the decline of Nickelodeon. Why they thought this high-pitched screaming insanity of a viral sensation would be able to fill an 1 and 30 minute movie is beyond me.
This movie is filled with extremely cringeworthy humor, obnoxious characters, especially Fred himself. And the whole movie ends up feeling like a poor-man's PeeWee's Big Adventure, as it hits on a lot of similar beats of that movie.
But Fred is not endearing like PeeWee Herman, he's an obnoxious fad that has thankfully faded into obscurity, just as he should. - DirectorOlatunde OsunsanmiStarsSybil DarrowMustafa ShakirOgy DurhamIn a Asian desert, a team of explorers learn of a newly discovered cave system and set out to explore it. However as soon as they begin the descent, it becomes clear that this was a secret that should have remained below the surface.Absolutely unwatchable. The camera work is so shaky, it might as well be a found footage movie. The lighting is the strangest combination of being both too dark and too bright.
And it ends on a rape scene, with no reason for it. - DirectorJason BloomStarsPauly ShoreStephen BaldwinWilliam AthertonMoronic best friends get themselves locked inside the Bio-Dome, a science experiment, along with a group of environmental scientists for one year.Good Pauly Shore movies are few and far between, in that there are no good Pauly Shore movies, and this is by far the worst. Both lead characters are annoying pricks, who you want to see murdered horribly by the end. You practically pity the poor scientists who have to deal with them. I can't recall one joke that made me laugh.
The funny thing is, an episode of Johnny Bravo did this exact same premise, and it managed to make it work in only 7 minutes. - DirectorJan de BontStarsLiam NeesonCatherine Zeta-JonesOwen WilsonDr Marrow enlists Theo, Luke and Nell for a study of sleep disorders at the Hill House. As soon as the terrifying truth about the mansion is revealed, everyone is found fighting for their lives.One of the worst remakes ever made. This movie takes all the ambiguity of the 1963 original and replaces it with terrible beginner's CGI ghosts. Nothing in this movie is remotely scary, and if you've seen the original, it just starts pissing you off.
- DirectorRob ZombieStarsScout Taylor-ComptonTyler ManeMalcolm McDowellLaurie Strode struggles to come to terms with her brother Michael's deadly return to Haddonfield, Illinois; meanwhile, Michael prepares for another reunion with his sister.Why can't Rob Zombie make another movie on par with The Devil's Rejects?
This remake barely follows the storyline of the original, which I wouldn't mind, if we were given a good alternative story. Instead we follow Laurie, one year after the first movie, who has become an obnoxious whiny brat, who verbally abuses everyone who cares for her. This movie has ghosts in it! Or hallucinations, honestly it's sort of hard to tell.
Not one character in this movie is likable. - DirectorAlan ParkerStarsKevin SpaceyKate WinsletLaura LinneyA man against capital punishment is accused of murdering a fellow activist and is sent to death row.This is a perfect example of something that almost had it, but they screwed it up at the end. The ending to this movie absolutely ruins the entire movie. It has an interesting mystery to it, that ties into a message as to why the death penalty is wrong. But the film ends up pulling an awful twist that not only justifies the death penalty in a way, but portraying people against the death penalty as a bunch of crazy idealists who will do absolutely anything to get their message across.
This film tries to have a good message about why the death penalty is a flawed system, but it completely screws up for no reason other than to have a stupid twist!