Watched September 2009
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- DirectorJeff KingStarsEmma Taylor-IsherwoodShadia SimmonsMichael SeaterVaughn is lost in the wormhole and travels back in time to April 11, 1977, so Josie goes into the wormhole again to rescue him. Meanwhile, the rest of the Science Club learn more about the nature of the wormhole and the major time periods it connects to in an effort to bring back their friends. When Josie realizes she has been responsible for a number of the events, she breaks a promise to her friends and goes through the wormhole alone to take the floating Qi ball from Victor again.
- DirectorCharlie PalmerStarsDavid TennantFreema AgyemanJessica HynesThe Doctor must deal with the repercussions of his decision to become human, as The Family Of Blood unveil themselves...
- StarsKevan AllenNick CannonJoe CiprianoAfter several weeks of auditions and quarterfinal performances for America's votes, the semifinals arrived Tuesday night on "America's Got Talent." The final 20 acts would perform, 10 at a time, over the next two weeks to try stay in the running for the show's $1 million grand prize and a show in Las Vegas. Judge Piers Morgan called it "the biggest night of their lives" and said he wanted "to see how far they've come" and "are they worth $1 million?" Sharon Osbourne said she wanted to see personalities, noting, "we know they've got talent, that's why they're here. But I want to see more of them, get a sense of what they're about." David Hasselhoff said he was "Hoff-static," to which the crowd reacted with silence. After a behind-the-scenes look at the pressure-filled preparations for the semis, it was time to get to the performances. Acrodunk: The high-flying dunkers were "risking it all" to make it to the finals, with an act that was going to include jumping through a loop that was set aflame and dunking into a hoop that was also on fire. They nailed it, bringing the crowd to their feet. Piers called it "absolutely unbelievable." "That has to be one of the most thrilling, exciting, dynamic, dangerous, entertaining things I've ever seen on this show. Amazing." Sharon praised them for adding different elements and said, "You make the Harlem Globetrotters look like..." before stopping herself and saying, "forget it; it's all about Acrodunk." The Hoff said "dreams do come true and you guys are on your way." The Texas Tenors: The singing trio from Houston has only been together for a few months, but excited the crowd with their rendition of "Unchained Melody." Taking The Hoff's advice, they went with a ballad. Did it work? Sharon singled out the blond guy named Marcus and said it was amazing, but then she praised the whole group. The Hoff said he could see that billboard in Las Vegas with a picture of the three cowboys. Then he called them a front-runner to win the whole competition. Piers chided them for coming back with "the cheesiest pop song ever written" and singing it "in the cheesiest possible way," immediately after he told them to be less cheesy. But then he called it "brilliant." Paradizo Dance: The husband-and-wife dancing duo that has dazzled the crowd and the judges with their unlikely lifts and acrobatics tried to prove that their act was worth $1 million. Sharon enjoyed their more light-hearted approach, which she called "cute," before saying she preferred their more romantic side. The Hoff agreed, but said he really hoped America would vote them back. Piers said he was a bit disappointed that they didn't include more of "impossible," which is their signature move of the small wife lifting her burly husband. Drew Thomas Magic: The illusionist who floored the judges with his quarterfinal performance opened up about having spent the summer with his daughter because of a shared-custody agreement with her mother. He said he put everything he had into his next act, which he said would feature more personality. Set to the tune of a sappy song, it incorporate his daughter through a storyline about how he missed her. Piers, who buzzed Drew, said he "hated it." He thought the music was too slow and the performance put him to sleep. He also criticized Drew for repeating the trick with his assistants disappearing, which made Piers think Drew was "a one-trick pony." Piers' words made his daughter, Olivia, cry. Sharon told Drew it was fabulous. The Hoff praised Drew for bringing his daughter into it and said a Vegas show needs a change of pace like this performance. Tony Hoard & Rory: The Frisbee-catching dog slipped into the semifinals thanks to Sharon's vote. Piers was still upset that the act made it, saying in the preview piece that "these two should not be in the semifinals." Tony said he lost his factory job of 24 years because he used up all of his vacation time to be on the show. Despite Piers' extreme objection, the act made it through without dropping a Frisbee and without getting buzzed. Sharon said "Rory delivered tonight" and had some choice words for the guy who laid Tony off and said "the karma truck will be parked outside his house." The Hoff said Tony "really stepped it up and made it Vegas-worthy." Piers smiled and noted that he didn't buzz Tony. "The dog went back to what it did in the first place, which was not drop any Frisbees." Piers also said it was "miles better" than the last performance. The Voices of Glory: The singing trio of siblings who perform in honor of their mother, who was seriously injured in a drunk-driving accident. The two older brothers opened up the number so that their little sister could make a grand entrance on "Anytime You Need a Friend." The Hoff said the group just brings the world together. Piers said he really liked what they stand for, "it's a very impressive thing to see in young people." He said they've got talent, but again pointed out that the little sister was the star. Sharon said, "the next time I see you guys, it will be in the final." The Fab Five: The five adult sisters from Utah who pulled their act back together after moving apart and starting their own families. They got emotional when talking about the fact that their father would be in the audience for the first time. They turned in another mesmerizing performance with intense and fast-paced footwork. Piers said it's easy to forget how extremely difficult their type of performance is, but he would have liked to have seen a bit of a change of pace. Sharon said she loved that they keep delivering the high energy. The Hoff said they were "better every time." Grandma Lee: The acerbic comedian opened up about living on her own since her husband died, and the fact that he'd only had the chance to see her perform once. She revisited some familiar territory with jokes about hooking up with Piers and The Hoff. Sharon said she loved Grandma Lee and that she hoped America got it. The Hoff said, "Most comedians who come on this stage are just not funny," and said Grandma Lee was funny, regardless of age. Piers said Grandma Lee's deceased husband would be proud of her and that she deserves to be in the finals. Arcadian Broad: The 14-year-old dancing phenom decided to take a chance by bringing a partner into the routine. He took on a basketball theme with a group of dancers behind him and the partner showing up about halfway through. The Hoff loved the presentation. Piers said there was no doubt Arcadian was a very talented young man. He said he wondered whether Arcadian was good enough to get into the final given the high standard that had been set. "The answer to that question is 'No, you're not.'" He said the show had come to another level. Arcadian jumped in to defend himself, taking a bit of a shot at the producers, saying they gave him the music from "High School Musical," which he did not want to do. Piers said the routine wasn't the issue, but Arcadian just didn't have the chops to keep up with the competition. Sharon defended the boy, saying "it is a tough competition, but you're doing a great job." Host Nick Cannon mentioned, almost in passing to clearly addressing Arcadian's quip about the producers, "the acts do have a final say on what they do and they perform" before calling out Arcadian's phone numbers. Kevin Skinner: The country singer Piers called the man to beat in the competition was overcome with emotion when talking about the support he was receiving back home. He said he was going to perform his father's favorite song. "I really wish he could be here to see me do it, but he's not well enough to travel," Kevin said. "But he'll be watching from home, and I know he'll be proud." He captivated the crowd with his version of Willie Nelson's "Always On My Mind." The crowd roared and Piers gave a standing ovation. Piers said he nearly had tears in his eyes. "After that, you are my favorite to win this whole competition," Piers said. Sharon told Kevin to smile, "because you'll be coming back." The Hoff said Kevin had come a long way in the course of the competition.
- DirectorDon Roy KingJorma TacconeStarsFred ArmisenWill ForteBill HaderJosh Brolin hosts to promote 'W'. Sketches include: Palin Press Conference (with Tina Fey, Sarah Palin and Alec Baldwin cameos), Josh Brolin Monologue (with Oliver Stone cameo), MacGruber, Sue: Surprise Proposal, MacGruber II, The Suze Orman Show, Wahlberg's Confrontation (with Mark Wahlberg cameo), I'm No Angel, MacGruber III, Weekend Update with Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers, Weekend Update: Tim Calhoun, Weekend Update: Jean K Jean, Weekend Update: Amy's Sarah Palin Rap (with Sarah Palin cameo), Fartface, Narc School, ReadiTrade.com, New York Underground, Fall Foliage. Adele performs "Chasing Pavements" and "Cold Shoulder".
- DirectorDon Roy KingColin JostAkiva SchafferStarsFred ArmisenWill ForteBill HaderSketches include: A Special Message from Sen. John McCain and Gov. Sarah Palin (with John McCain, Cindy McCain, and Tina Fey cameos), Ben Affleck Monologue, Jar Glove (repeat), The View, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Target Greatland, The Staten Island Zoo: Giraffes, Weekend Update with Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers, Weekend Update: John McCain (with John McCain cameo), Weekend Update: Drs. Patrick and Gunther Kelly, Weekend Update: Aunt Linda, Night School Musical, Grady Wilson's Put the Fire Back in your Marriage Techniques, The Zolesky Brothers, Bierhoff Brothers House of Coats. David Cook performs "Light On" and "Declaration". Amy Poelher absent on maternity leave.
- DirectorPamela FrymanStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiLisa RieffelDoug Heffernan gets a 70-inch TV to make his sport's basement dream complete, but the dream turns into a nightmare when Carrie's father moves into the basement.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiPatton OswaltWhen a colleague has gotten flowers (which she initially thought were for her), Carrie is disappointed and Doug tries to show his romantic side. Meanwhile, Arthur has jury duty.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiPatton OswaltDoug sees someone driving an R.V. and decides he wants to buy one for himself and Carrie's vacation, however Carrie is planning a trip to Paris for their vacation. So in deciding where to go, they flip a coin.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsIn order to watch the upcoming Super Bowl on a high-definition television, Doug hatches a plan to have his sister Stephanie Ricki Lake) date Carrie's wealthy boss (Alex Skuby).
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsDoug sees Deacon with another woman while he told Kelly he had to work late.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsDeacon and Kelly are still separated and Doug takes a very depressed Deacon to some clubs. Doug really gets in the groove and makes a habit of it, with or without Deacon.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsDoug and Carrie sneak off to New Orleans without Doug's cousins after reneging on a deal to travel with them. The trip turns into a struggle to stop the family members knowing.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsCarrie's work has an annual golf trip, but Doug and Carrie used to always take Deacon and Kelly. Now that Deacon and Kelly have split up, Doug and Carrie have to try to find another couple to invite to the golf trip.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsAfter she gets the raise she prayed for, Carrie starts praying for all kinds of things. Doug can't help himself and starts praying for petty things as well.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsWhile Carrie has to babysit the boss's son, Doug flirts with an ugly girl at the bowling alley to make her feel better. Spence bought TiVo and can't wait to see what TiVo will record for him.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsCarrie persuades Doug to see a therapist about his eating habits. Meanwhile, Arthur tries to control his addiction to nasal spray.
- DirectorHettie MacdonaldStarsDavid TennantFreema AgyemanCarey MulliganSally Sparrow receives a cryptic message from the Doctor about a mysterious new enemy species that is after the TARDIS.
- DirectorGraeme HarperStarsDavid TennantFreema AgyemanJohn BarrowmanSoon after bumping into old friend Jack Harkness, Martha and The Doctor head off to Malcassairo, a distant planet where an old professor will do anything he can to keep his people alive...
- DirectorColin TeagueStarsDavid TennantFreema AgyemanJohn BarrowmanThe Doctor, Martha and Jack return to the 21st Century eighteen months after the Doctor and Martha left. They find they've missed the election, and the new Prime Minister, Harold Saxon, is someone they've met before by another name.
- DirectorColin TeagueGraeme HarperStarsDavid TennantFreema AgyemanJohn BarrowmanIt's been a year since The Master unleashed the mysterious Toclafane onto Earth. With the human race and The Doctor enslaved under The Master's control, Martha Jones is the only person that can help stop the evil Time Lord.
- DirectorJames WiddoesStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsCarrie bans sex for two weeks because she's afraid she and Doug don't talk enough.
- StarsKevan AllenBill BarrettaNick CannonThe first performances from the semifinals were done Tuesday night, which meant Wednesday was when the results would be announced, letting viewers know the first four acts that would return for the final and compete for the $1 million grand prize on "America's Got Talent." Highlights from Tuesday night: Piers Morgan made another little girl cry, and she wasn't even a contestant (it was magician Drew Thomas' daughter); David Hasselhoff pictured three cowboy singers on a billboard in Las Vegas; Piers was nice to a dog and gave a 75-year-old woman permission to get in his shorts anytime. To the results: Host Nick Cannon first asked dancer Arcadian Broad, The Texas Tenors, and Drew Thomas Magic to come to center stage. The first of the threesome to go home was Drew Thomas Magic. That left Arcadian Broad and The Texas Tenors waiting to see which of them would get a spot in the finals. It was The Texas Tenors. The Hoff said, "America made the right choice!" Be our guests: The Muppets visited, with Kermit and Miss Piggy offering up a bit of "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart." The Hoff took the stage later, to remind folks outside of Germany that he's also a singer. He performed a cabaret-style rendition of "Feelin' Good." Back to the results: Next to center stage were Grandma Lee, Tony Hoard & Rory, and Paradizo Dance. The first to go home was Paradizo Dance, and with the crowd chanting "Grandma Lee! Grandma Lee!" the 75-year-old comedian's dream of winning the whole thing was kept alive. With two spots left in the finals, Nick brought the remaining four acts to the stage: singer Kevin Skinner, high-flying dunkers Acrodunk, singers Voices of Glory, and the clogging sisters The Fab Five. The first of the four acts to get a spot in the finals was Kevin Skinner. The next act to go home was -- insert long, dramatic pause here -- Acrodunk. Piers shook his head as the result was announced. That left The Fab Five and The Voices of Glory in the middle of the stage, and the decision on which act would continue rested in the hands of the judges. Sharon was asked to speak first. She said Voices of Glory has contributed "so much" to the show and haven't even shown their best yet. The Fab Five, she said, were also terrific. Then, she refused to give an answer and passed it over to The Hoff. He asked both of the groups not to look at him and he struggled to say anything before passing it to Piers. Piers hemmed and hawed himself, suggesting they might just send both acts home -- which any keen viewer should've known meant they were going to send them both into the finals. And that's exactly what they did.
- DirectorChristopher NolanStarsChristian BaleMichael CaineKen WatanabeAfter witnessing his parents' death, Bruce learns the art of fighting to confront injustice. When he returns to Gotham as Batman, he must stop a secret society that intends to destroy the city.
- DirectorSteven SpielbergStarsSam NeillLaura DernJeff GoldblumA pragmatic paleontologist touring an almost complete theme park on an island in Central America is tasked with protecting a couple of kids after a power failure causes the park's cloned dinosaurs to run loose.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsCarrie and a guy (Curt) from her office get along well and when Doug finds out people at Carrie's office call Curt Carrie's 'work husband' he feels threatened. Even though he knows Curt is gay.
- 1997–201023mTV-PG7.9 (563)TV EpisodeDirectorCyndi TangWesley ArcherStarsMike JudgeKathy NajimyPamela AdlonHank's mother bring home her new boyfriend, an affectionate Jewish man named Gary. After Hank sees the two of them having relations, he goes blind.
- DirectorJack DyerWesley ArcherStarsMike JudgeKathy NajimyPamela AdlonBobby and Luanne get into a petty feud over Luanne's narcissistic new boyfriend. Things get even weirder when Bobby messes with Luanne's birth control pills, and Hank and Peggy organize an elaborate prank to teach him a lesson.
- DirectorAllan JacobsenKlay HallStarsMike JudgeKathy NajimyPamela AdlonPeggy accidentally brings a Mexican girl into the country after a Spanish class field trip to Mexico. When she tries to bring her back, she is arrested for kidnapping.
- 1975– 1h 30mTV-146.5 (162)TV EpisodeDirectorDave WilsonGary WeisStarsDyan CannonLeon RussellMary RussellThe host for the episode is Dyan Cannon, and the musical guests are Leon & Mary Russell. The skits for this episode are as follows: Chevy Chase, lying on his back after a tremendous fall, is informed that the control room clock was running fast and he'll have to do it all again to get it on air. During her opening monologue, Dyan Cannon confesses to a lifelong dream of being swept off her feet by a man on a white horse, and during the rest of the show, different male cast members attempt to re-interpret its meaning to make themselves her dream man. A woman takes a taste test to see which is better: a new diet soda or a glass of phlegm. Participants in a hearing test don't notice that their teacher has been taken hostage by a pair of wanted criminals. A husband catches her wife having an affair, but the woman and her lover make up an outrageous story to explain everything. A Bulgarian travel agent attempts to convince a woman to vacation in Bulgaria. During the Weekend Update, a man claims to have a new version of Howard Hughes' will. Anita Bryant attempts to pitch Florida orange juice while being held hostage in Beirut. A priest tries to deliver a funeral eulogy, but is interrupted by a bad case of hiccups. Roy Waddmaker attempts to sell bathwater of the stars. A soldier gets berated by his drill sergeant for repeatedly flubbing his lines in a recruitment ad. A teenage girl is hoping to make an impression on her dream date, but her parents discover that her date is actually three Hell's Angels. In an home movie, a hubcap thief gets caught up in his work and dragged around town by an oblivious driver. Leon and Mary Russell perform "Satisfy You" and "Daylight"(with John Belushi as Joe Cocker).
- 1975– 1h 30mTV-147.2 (158)TV EpisodeDirectorDave WilsonGary WeisStarsBuck HenryGordon LightfootMichael O'DonoghueThe host for the episode is Buck Henry (his second appearance), and the musical guest is Gordon Lightfoot. The skits for this episode are as follows: Chevy Chase announces that because he broke his ankle accepting his Emmy Award, his fall will be done by Laraine Newman, but Laraine instead shoves him off the stage. Buck Henry is supposed to come on for his opening monologue, but is nowhere to be found; after a frantic search, the crew discovers that the security guards don't recognize him and won't let him in the building. Lounge singer Peter Lemon advertises a mood ring that changes color as he sings. The samurai tailor performs alterations on a customer's suit. The host of a call-in show tries to get more controversial when nobody calls him. A restaurant owner invites guest to try his all-toad cuisine. During the Weekend Update, the Patty Hearst trial is reenacted with fruit. Lorne Michaels repeats his offer to the Beatles, adding another $200 to the deal. Baba Wawa interviews film director Lina W. Gary Weis presents a film of Buck Henry interviewing people shopping for toilet seats. Jane Curtain interviews the author of a new sex book, only to find he is painfully shy. Garrett Morris sings "An Die Musik" and Michael O'Donaghue does an impression of Tony Orlando and Dawn with needles stuck in their eyes. Gordon Lightfoot performs "Summertime Dream" and "Spanish Moss".
- StarsAlton BrownDaniel PettrowDavid TraylorAmerica's favorite breakfast bread moved out of the home kitchen long ago. With the help of some sound science and an incarcerated brother, Alton Brown plans to change all that.
- StarsAlton BrownZoey BrownCole CassellOf all the edibles on Earth, milk exists solely to be food says Alton.
- StarsAlton BrownRamon EngleJim PaceJoin Alton as he breaks the trend toward an overly sweet and fussy pastry.
- DirectorRobert BerlingerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiLisa RieffelWhen Doug finds out that the women on Carrie's side of the family become overweight in their lives, he tries to keep Carrie from being overweight.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsDoug receives an offer from FedEx and tells his IPS boss that if he wont give Doug a better route than he will transfer to FedEx.
- DirectorJames WiddoesStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsUncle Stu is willing to pay for Doug's dream: his own sandwich shop! Carrie doesn't think this is a good idea but is afraid to tell Doug.
- DirectorHenry ChanStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsOut of boredom Doug makes a very waggish picture of himself at a wedding, and he lets Danny take the blame.
- DirectorDominic PolcinoWesley ArcherStarsMike JudgeKathy NajimyPamela AdlonDuring the Christmas season, Bill becomes suicidal and his friends have to watch him. Things take a bizarre turn when he decides to become his ex-wife Lenore.
- DirectorCyndi TangWesley ArcherStarsMike JudgeKathy NajimyPamela AdlonHank and the boys become volunteer firemen, but when the firehouse burns down, they all have a different version of how the event took place.
- DirectorChris MoellerWesley ArcherStarsMike JudgeKathy NajimyPamela AdlonAfter Hank's old football coach takes over, Bobby quits football and turns to the kinder, gentler world of soccer, which Hank and Peggy find disconcerting.
- DirectorTricia GarciaKlay HallStarsMike JudgeKathy NajimyPamela AdlonTo Hank's chagrin, Bobby learns to protect himself by kicking boys in the groin.
- StarsKevan AllenNick CannonJoe CiprianoThe second batch of semifinalists took to the "America's Got Talent" on Tuesday to prove to the judges and to America that they have what it takes to remain in the running for the show's $1 million grand prize. Judge Piers Morgan defended the judges' decision last week to take five semifinalists into the finals instead of just four. He said all five acts deserved to advance to the next round, and that's why the judges made the twist. The Hoff promised he wouldn't use the word "Hoff" anymore, but then said he was "Hoff-ully excited" and that when the finals come around next week, the show will be "Hoff and running." Recycled Percussion: the garbage-can bashing drummers who floored the judges with their quarterfinal performance set out to prove it wasn't a fluke. They wanted to show the judges something they hadn't seen before, and came out beating on an old van and anything else they could find. Piers said there were moments where he couldn't tell whether they were "incredibly talented or just completely mad." He called it inventive and said it was full of showmanship and entertainment. Sharon agreed, and pointed out that one of them was "very ripped." The Hoff said it was a great act and that every week they came back with something different. Lawrence Beamen: The man the judges have called a new Barry White had another chance to prove himself. He opened up about being raised in an extremely strict "religious group," and that he left at age 16. He gave his deep-voiced rendition of Alicia Keys' "Fallin'." Sharon said she loved his voice, but she could have done without some of the "vocal acrobatics." The Hoff said he loved the choice. Piers noted that he loves Lawrence, but he didn't really like that performance. Piers said he still saw Lawrence as the new Barry White, and that seeing him as Alicia Keys didn't quite work. Erik & Rickie: Pre-adolescent ballroom dancers Erik and Rickie said they were working "extra, super duper hard" on their semifinal routine in an effort to keep their million-dollar dream alive. Playing a couple of toy-store dolls that came to life, they danced to Michael Jackson's "Black or White." Piers buzzed them just over halfway through, but they held it together to the end. The Hoff spoke first and said the little pair could have their own Disneyland. He said they could do Vegas. Piers, who was booed, said his buzz wasn't personal. He just didn't like putting their style of dance to pop music. He said it was like having "deep-fried custard," because it was two things that are good on their own, but didn't work together. Sharon said she liked it and said it's common for ballroom dance to be done to current, popular music. Jeffrey Ou: The mad teenage pianist who suffered from technical difficulties in the quarterfinals made it through nonetheless. He knew the semifinal performance was his chance to prove to America that he deserved to be there. Jeffrey hit the stage sporting a wild, vertical hairdo. A light show moved in time to his fast keystrokes on the piano. It didn't take Piers long to buzz Jeffrey. Piers was booed and said the performance was a bit like Jeffrey's hair, "completely out of control." Sharon thought Jeffrey looked fantastic, but said "the playing was pretty out there." The Hoff said he didn't know what Hungarian Rhapsody was, after Jeffrey said that was the name of the piece he played. "It sounded more like beef stroganoff to me," Hoff said. Hairo Torres: Breakdancer and contortionist Hairo Torres said his hero was his mom. She said she was so proud of her son, who was living his dream of dancing, which was a dream she shared as a teenager. Hairo suffered a back injury in his final rehearsal, but his routine was filled with his patented, back-breaking moves. Sharon noted that Hairo added a lot of new steps and said she hoped America would vote to bring him back. The Hoff said the guy next to him was "laughing hysterically," and that it was because his dancing was entertaining. Piers said he realized the reason he liked Hairo was because Hairo dances just like Piers does. The EriAm Sisters: The singing sibling trio struggling with song choice for this week's performance, but were confident in their choice. They settled on David Archuleta's "When You Believe," which gave them a chance to work out some harmonies. Did it work? Piers said it was a "very shaky start" and said they were very flat at first. He said they then got their confidence and it became a really good performance. Sharon agreed that in the beginning they were trying to be three lead vocalists instead of working as a unit, but it "definitely came through in the end." The Hoff added that the sisters' spirit was great and they just make him smile when they're on stage. Mario & Jenny: The daredevil, husband-and-wife juggling act of Mario and Jenny said they hoped this was their time to shine. Mario said he came from a long line of performers and Jenny was a dancer who was tired of constant rejection. The routine was a bit of a mess, with Mario doing an aggressive tap dance and banging on some drums while Jenny worked a pole dance. Piers said it didn't work for him and "I thought you blew it, big time." He said he loved the illusion and danger of their act in the past. Sharon said it showed they weren't one-dimensional, which would work in Vegas. The Hoff said there was "a lot going on" and he thought it was entertaining. He disagreed with Piers, saying they were ready for Vegas and they could hold a show together. Drew Stevyns: The singer-guitarist who slipped through the quarterfinal round said he'd always wanted to play music rather than follow a more traditional career to please his family. He gave a rocked-up rendition of Wham's "Careless Whisper," in the style of the band Seether, which released a version of the song earlier this year. Sharon said Drew made the song his own, even though she didn't like it. She said she hoped America would vote him in. The Hoff said he admired Drew and compared him to Daughtry, saying that kind of music turns him on. Piers said it was a "massive gamble" to do "Careless Whisper," and he thought it paid off. FootworKINGz: The street dance crew from Chicago wanted to show the voters of America that they made the right decision in keeping the dancers around. They showed off their quick footwork to a Power Rangers theme song. Piers buzzed them before too long, and Sharon followed shortly afterward. The Hoff told the crew they'd come a long way, but some of the lasers and other antics got in the way. Piers called the performance "career suicide," saying they were the best dance crew he'd seen in years, but they went with a Power Rangers theme and were joke fighting -- moving too far away from what was at their heart. Sharon said they do the same dance moves in difference costumes. "You've got to stop doing that Russian Cossack move -- we've seen it," she said. Barbara Padilla: Cancer survivor and opera singer said she'd received messages from cancer survivors and became emotional when talking about how she gave some of them a reason to fight. She entranced the crowd with an engaging performance of "Ave Maria," and the judges responded with a standing ovation, along with the audience. Piers said, "Wow. Wow, wow, wow." He said "the whole of America is going to remember where they were when they heard you sing that song," and added that "tonight, a superstar was born on this show." Sharon said it doesn't matter was one's musical tastes are, because music goes beyond language. "I bow down to you," Sharon said, literally standing and bowing. The Hoff said, "They say that God has a plan for all of us," and continued to say that God had a plan for Barbara. He said she gave "a blessed performance tonight."
- StarsKevan AllenBrian BrighamNick Cannon"It began three months ago," host Nick Cannon announced Monday night as the "America's Got Talent" finale week kicked off with the Top 10 acts performing for the nation's vote. Six singing acts, including Kevin Skinner, The Texas Tenors, The Voices of Glory, Drew Stevyns, Lawrence Beamen and Barbara Padilla, were set to face off with comedian Grandma Lee, trash can beaters Recycled Percussion, and dancers The Fab Five and Hairo Torres. One thing's for certain, the judges should have buzzed Nick on his wardrobe choice that included a jacket woven like a basket. But The Hoff was rocking a pink shirt and tie combo, so who's to judge? Judge Piers Morgan said he didn't think there was a clear favorite and that he was excited to see how it turned out on "the biggest talent show in the world." Sharon Osbourne said the performers should "just think about that million dollars," because it would make her sing, dance and tell jokes better. The Voices of Glory: The young and talented trio that performed all season in honor of their mother, who was critically injured in a drunk driving accident, decided to try a different approach. The little sister of the group, who has earned the best reviews of the bunch all season, took the lead while her brothers harmonized behind her. The judges and the crowd jumped to their feet. Piers said he'd waited the whole time for something to click and it did. Sharon agreed that "everything was perfectly in sync, it all came together." The Hoff, classin' it up as usual, said, "You not only brought your mom out of a coma, you brought Piers out of a coma." He said they "hit it out of the park. Hat trick. Slam dunk." Hairo Torres: Breakdancer and contortionist Hairo Torres talked about the emotions of being in the final, but also about the pressure of coming up with something big for the final. After using backup dancers after his first audition, Hairo did away with them symbolically and literally at the start of his routine, showing himself as a solo dancer. Sharon said he "took a really big risk" in giving such an emotional performance "and I think you did the right thing." The Hoff said Hairo "tied it all together" well. Piers said he absolutely loved Hairo as a person, but "I don't think that worked." He said it lost a lot of the fun that he loved about Hairo's performances. Lawrence Beamen: The big-voiced singer said he never imagined performing the way he has on the show. He said he was definitely feeling the pressure heading into the finals, wondering about whether he'd make the wrong decision on song choice and how he sang it. He went to Barry White, with "You're My First, My Last, My Everything." Piers once called him a new Barry White, but was his move too literal? The Hoff said he was glad to be part of Lawrence's journey and said he was leaving the show "a star." Piers said, "That is why I wanted you to sing Barry White." But he said Lawrence's rendition didn't quite have the "love" that Barry's did. Barbara Padilla: Barbara's montage recounted her cancer fight and she talked about how it gave her more than it took away. She went back to "O Mio Babbino Caro," the song she sang in her first audition, because of the door that it opened for her. She captivated the audience again. Piers said viewers at home were thinking, "She's one of us and she's living our dream, and they're all going, 'Way to go, Barbara. Way to go.'" Sharon said she couldn't believe Barbara's journey from the audition to the finale. The Hoff said Barbara was "so beautiful, you command the stage, you command our attention and our respect." He told her, "Forget Vegas, you're going to play bigger halls." The Fab Five: The five sisters from Utah who have since moved to different parts of the country talked about how they'd wanted all their lives to share a big stage. Piers said in their preview tape that he wanted to see something unique that showed a different kind of range. They said they were doing something they hadn't done since they were kids. Sharon said it was beautifully choreographed and said "you girls belong in Vegas." Hoff wondered if the girls ever stopped smiling, but then said he couldn't stop smiling watching them. Piers said it was incredible that the sisters still seemed to be best of friends. "When you dance together, it's like you're one, dancing, and it's amazing infectious." The Texas Tenors: The trio got emotional when talking about their experience and with the blond one talking about his father who'd passed away and wanted his son to pursue his dream of singing. They were prepared to go all out, Vegas-style, with a performance of "My Way." The Hoff said they had "a lot of guts" coming out and doing a Frank Sinatra song. He said they took a chance, then he said they did it their way (about three times). Piers said, again, it was cheesy and said "Vegas is cheesy, in many parts, and I think it's fabulous cheese." Sharon agreed it was "triple cheese," but she called their vocals perfect. Drew Stevyns: The dark horse singer-guitarist said it was tough to stand out among the several thousand performers earlier in the competition. He talked about going through a difficult breakup and that the response has been "amazing and overwhelming -- especially the female response." He sang The Pretenders' "I'll Stand By You." Piers said that as he watched Drew, he felt "very proud of the show." He said Drew gave the best performance he'd given. "This could be a night when a wild card goes the whole way," he said. Sharon said that, as a manager, if she was looking for a young guy to be a rock singer, she'd pick Drew. Grandma Lee: The 75-year-old comedian said she wouldn't have imagined in a million years that she would have made it to the finals. She said she was always a bit of a scoundrel. She shared the story of when her father died and her mother couldn't cope, so she was sent to a girls' home, which she said she loved. She vowed to pushing the grandma limits Monday night. She came out donning a pregnant belly and said, "We'll discuss this later, Mr. Morgan." Sharon said Grandma Lee got her early with a Ryan Seacrest joke and she "couldn't stop laughing." The Hoff said every time Grandma Lee came out, she was "funnier and funnier." Piers said he wanted a paternity test, "because if you win the million dollars, I want my slice of the pie." Kevin Skinner: The country singer opened up a bit about his family and said that where he comes from, it's not always easy to support your family. "Not to say I'm not proud of where I come from, either," he said. It's made him who he is, but the opportunity to change his life made him feel good. He stepped out of the country realm with Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing." The Hoff mocked Kevin's accent and suggested Kevin could win it. Piers said it wasn't perfect and said he could benefit from some training, but his heart was what the show is about. Piers suggested Kevin's victory would be the best way for America to come out of the recession. Sharon said Kevin didn't have to have the greatest voice because he's unique. Recycled Percussion: The group said they have a lot of creative ideas and they were looking forward to unleashing them. The were fueled by the fact that they had gotten the judges and America to believe in them throughout the competition. Piers called their performance "an absolutely brilliant way to end a brilliant show" and added that he would put them in Vegas tomorrow. Sharon said they were so creative to come up with such different ideas and agreed that they "really do belong in Vegas." The Hoff said they were insane and made him want to drum in the shower. This is the point at which it would be best to fully explain their performance, but a comment like that should be allowed to stand on its own.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsOn Valentine's Day, Carrie has to cancel dinner with Doug because he and Deacon have to deliver 2 penguins to Albany.
- DirectorKlay HallWesley ArcherStarsMike JudgeKathy NajimyPamela AdlonHank inadvertently causes Kahn to lose his job.
- DirectorAdam KuhlmanWesley ArcherStarsMike JudgeKathy NajimyPamela AdlonWhile Bobby comes down with a case of gout when he becomes addicted to deli food, Hank is horrified to find an X-ray of his colon in an art museum.
- DirectorAnthony LioiKlay HallStarsMike JudgeKathy NajimyPamela AdlonWhen Dale is ridiculed by the Arlen Gun Club for accidentally misfiring a weapon, his friends must come up with a plan to help restore Dale's self-esteem.
- DirectorRoger NygardStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiMichael takes on the role of office grief counselor when he learns that his old boss has died.
- DirectorRussell NormanStarsFab 5Kevan AllenLawrence BeamenAfter four months of auditions and eliminations, it was time Wednesday night to finally name a $1 million grand prize winner on "America's Got Talent" -- after two hours of filler and hype. Would it be the chicken-catching country crooner, the dancing moms of Utah, the sharp-tongued elderly comedian, the opera-singing sensation known as Barbara Padilla, or one of the other six final acts? Before that, though, host Nick Cannon ran through the list of guest performers for the evening, which included Leona Lewis, Rascal Flatts, Shakira and "Britain's Got Talent" phenom Susan Boyle, making her first televised singing appearance in the United States. Judge Piers Morgan said he normally works it down to one or two acts that could win, but this time he said it was tough to call and that any one of "eight or nine acts" could win it. In a bizarre bit of packaging, the entire top 10 participated in a performance of "Don't Leave Me This Way," which included a surprise appearance by Thelma Houston. Kevin Skinner couldn't seem to keep up with the lyrics or the dance moves, but Drew Stevyns Lawrence Beamen, the Fab Five and Recycled Percussion helped keep it all moving as it turned out to be kind of an interesting bit of entertainment. Leona Lewis, a product of Simon Cowell's other British singing show, "The X Factor," performed her new single, "Happy." Just when it didn't seem like the night could get much worse, an "Auditions All Stars" performance included some of the mildly amusing rejects from the audition process, and ended with Piers Morgan and Grandma Lee in a tux and wedding dress (I'll let you guess who was wearing which) appearing inside a magic box. Another performance, this time by Cirque du Soleil, filled a few more minutes before we even got to the top of the first hour. It was 54 minutes into the two-hour saga before we got to some results. Nick asked two acts at a time to come to center stage. One would be in the top five, the other would discover their dream was over. First up were opera singer Barbara Padilla and breakdancer Hairo Torres. Barbara was in, Hairo was out, but he left with a smile on his face. Lawrence Beamen and The Voices of Glory came up next. The next spot in the top five went to The Voices of Glory. The Texas Tenors and the Fab Five were the next called to the stage. The next act continuing into the top five was The Texas Tenors. Next came Kevin Skinner and Drew Stevyns, who oddly mimed putting a gun to his head when his name was called along with Kevin's. The fourth spot in the top five went to Kevin Skinner. That meant the final spot in the top five came down to Grandma Lee and Recycled Percussion. The trash can beaters took it, knocking Grandma Lee out of the competition. After looking at the five castoffs, Piers said that four of them could have probably won any past season of the show, which led him to the annual hyperbolic conclusion that "this is the greatest season we've ever had." After another year-in-review style montage, Shakira dropped by to perform her new song, "She Wolf." With 40 minutes left in the two-hour ordeal, the top five became the top two. Nick announced that the act finishing in fifth place after America's vote was The Voices of Glory. Sharon told the trio this was "just the beginning" for them and that we'd be seeing a whole lot more of them. Finishing fourth were The Texas Tenors. The Hoff told the trio they were well on their way and asked them to let him buy a ticket to their show. The act finishing in third place was Recycled Percussion, leaving Barbara Padilla and Kevin Skinner to vie for the $1 million prize. Piers said "you could not have two more different acts,' with a classical singer versus a country singer and said he couldn't call it. Before we found out the winner, Rascal Flatts came out to perform their song, "Summer Nights." Kevin and Barbara were each moved to tears during montages that recalled their journeys on the show. After a performance from Susan Boyle, we'd finally get to see who won. An extended intro reminded Americans about Susan Boyle's wild ride from a surprising audition on "Britain's Got Talent" a few months ago, to finishing in second place on that show, breaking down and checking into a clinic to deal with the pressure, and rising back to fame with a new album and a new single. She performed her cover of the Rolling Stones' "Wild Horses." "Now, the long wait is over," Nick said, introducing the final two acts, Kevin Skinner and Barbara Padilla. And the winner of "America's Got Talent" was Kevin Skinner. The unemployed chicken catcher who captured the hearts and votes of America was the winner of the $1 million grand prize and headlining show in Las Vegas.
- DirectorMike JudgeMike de SeveYvette KaplanStarsMike JudgeBeavis and Butthead are exploring a construction site, when Butthead starts to crawl inside of pipe and gets stuck.
- DirectorMike JudgeYvette KaplanStarsMike JudgeKristofor BrownWhile working at Burger World, Beavis and Butthead call a radio station.
- DirectorJack FletcherDave ThomasStarsJim ThorntonChris EdgerlyMasasa MoyoFight #1: Lindsay Lohan vs. Hilary Duff, or the queen of the bad girls vs. the queen of the Disney teen stars. Lohan doesn't show up, so the second fight is advanced. Fight #2: Jessica Simpson vs. Nick Lachey. Although they are divorced already, their battle rages on... till death do them part. (Simpson's father wants her to win... because he would get 20 per cent of the purse.) After this fight, Lohan again fails to show up, so the third fight is advanced, too. Fight #3: 50 Cent vs. The Game. Will it be 'game over' for The Game or for his rival (and former mentor) 50 Cent? After this fight, Lohan (finally) shows up, so fight #1 can finally take place... Nick hopes Lohan will win. He's very much infatuated with her. It comes out that he has even been stalking her.
- DirectorSteven SpielbergStarsJeff GoldblumJulianne MoorePete PostlethwaiteA research team is sent to the Jurassic Park Site B island to study the dinosaurs there, while an InGen team approaches with another agenda.
- 1991–199624mTV-PG7.6 (134)TV EpisodeDirectorBob CampBill WrayStarsBilly WestCharlie CallasCheryl ChaseCapitalising on Stimpy's idiocy, a door-to-door salesman makes a nuisance of himself as he continually appears in surprising places to pressure Stimpy to buy his Salve product. Next, Stimpy is worried when he discovers that he has no pants to wear, and embarks on a grand mission through city and country to attain some.
- DirectorGregg VanzoBob CampMark MarrenStarsBilly WestAlan YoungRen's old school friend visits; dinner etiquette Ren-and-Stimpy style.
- DirectorMark CendrowskiStarsMark AddyJami GertzJennifer IrwinBill and Judy want Tina to go to a birthday party held at Willie Gault's, a 1985 Chicago Bear house. But Tina doesn't, she wants to go to her best friends birthday party.
- DirectorJohn TracyStarsMark AddyJami GertzJennifer IrwinBrian is selected to participate in the accelerated math program at Norhwestern University. In addition, he starts playing drums in a band at the student union with some others in his college class. Judy gets upset and worried when Brian starts coming home each night past his curfew and scolds him, using many of the parental clichés everyone has heard. When Judy grounds Brian, he becomes very defiant. Bill talks to Brian while Brian is in the garage unpacking his drums, telling Brian another parental cliché - "my house my rules." Consequently, Brian moves into the garage so he can live by his own rules. He proves himself very capable at independent living, but later, when fired by his fellow band members, he asks Bill if he can move back into the house. Elsewhere in the family, Tina is a Bluebell Girl but not much interested in it. Linda, however, wants to live the Bluebell experience through her because, when she was a girl, Judy got to be a Bluebell Girl but quit and their mom, thereafter, wouldn't allow Linda to join. Also, we hear Lauren singing. She sings well but no one in the family hears her talent - just her snoring when she's asleep.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsMark AddyJami GertzJennifer IrwinLauren goes to see a doctor about her rash. When her parents hear that she might be depressed, they want to do everything to help her. Brian and Lauren then realize they can benefit from pulling a scam on their parents.
- DirectorAsaad KeladaStarsMark AddyJami GertzJennifer IrwinBill learns. to his disappointment, that Brian is a vice president of the school kite club. Bill also notices that Lauren's friend Chris is hanging around in their living room a lot. On Lauren's request, he retreats to upstairs. When Bill comes down for a snack after midnight, he catches Chris sneaking out and flips out even though Chris claims that he did "nothing" with Lauren. Judy arrives to calm Bill down and has a discussion with him. She trusts Lauren and Chris, but Bill claims that Chris's lesbian mothers have an undesirable influence on him. So they visit their neighbors in order to get them to help keep an eye on Chris, but they have an unwavering trust on their boy. Judy then suggests that Bill try to bond with Chris and earn his respect, which would make him respect Lauren as well. But how to bond?
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsMark AddyJami GertzJennifer IrwinBrian is back from Italy from the summer abroad program and while there, he has met a girl named Monica. He says that he's fallen in love with her. Bill and Judy are trying to tell Brian that long distance relationships don't work and that he should meet a girl here. Brian finds out that Monica can come to Chicago and asks his parents for the money to fly her here. They tell them they can't afford to, so Brian says he'll use the money he would've used for homecoming. Bill once again tries to tell Brian that he should meet a girl here in Chicago. Brian says that he lost his virginity to her and that it was something special. She also says he was her first time as well. Bill is pleased that this happened and he agrees that they should spend the money to get her here. Judy, still opposed to this ends up agreeing to this as well, when Bill tells her what happened and they both agree that they should wire her the money.While Bill and Brian hang out at a cigar bar, Bill finds out from Noom that Monica is a scam artist. His son Jeremy lost his virginity to her and Bill starts hearing the same exact story Brian told him. Noom said Jeremy wired the money to her, so she can see him, in the end, he was out $600 and she broke his son's heart. When Judy looked into it, through the program's coordinator, she found out that in Italy, Monica is a local girl, who likes to prey on who she thinks are rich Americans. Bill thinks they should tell Brian the truth, but Judy is opposed to it , because it will ruin his memories of his first time and this could screw up his outlook on women. In the end, Bill decides how to handle the situation. Perry is back in town and while he and Linda were making love, Perry suffers a concussion when he hits his head on the headboard, many times and is unable to travel back to Reno until the concussion clears up. When Perry is doing better, Linda keeps giving him more concussions, so he cannot go.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsMark AddyJami GertzJennifer IrwinThe Miller's neighbors, Terry and Shelly, have a favor to ask. The cable guy is coming while they are away and they need someone to let him in, so they give Bill and Judy the keys to their house. However, when they return and ask for the key back, they suspect Bill of using their shower and Judy of taking some of Shelly's perfume. And when the cable guy came, nobody answered the door! In their defense, Judy tells them she's been waiting three weeks for Bill to fix their upstairs bathroom. All of this loses importance when Terry and Shelly discover that their son Chris missed his cello lesson because he drove Lauren and her friends to the mall instead, with more plans for future outings. Terry isn't thrilled and lets Bill and Judy know that. Shelly cuts to the chase: are Lauren and Chris dating or is she just using him?
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsMark AddyJami GertzJennifer IrwinThere's a new guy moving in next door to Bill and Judy. Bill couldn't be less interested but Judy invites him over to say hello. Then it turns out that their new neighbor Kyle is part of the Polsky Beer family whose successful business was started by Kyle's grandfather. Kyle isn't the brightest of the bunch so his brothers run the company and Kyle stays home, enjoying the free beer. And just like that, Bill has a new best buddy. When spending time with Kyle becomes Bill's priority and Kyle erects a full-size scoreboard just by the Millers' fence, Judy realizes she's made a mistake.
- DirectorKen WhittinghamStarsMark AddyJami GertzJennifer Irwin"Christmas Hell" is causing Judy stress and she proposes that this Christmas, she and Bill reduce the workload, like, for example, by not getting presents for each other. Bill takes this seriously, but luckily for him, his pal Kyle, on basis of experience from three divorces, advises him to get Judy a present. Brian loses his job as a Christmas carol singer at the mall and has to help Judy decorate the house. That job was supposed to belong to Lauren, but she doesn't have to do it since she has one at a restaurant - or so she claims. Brian finds out that she is lying and wants in on the scam. Suddenly he has "a job" too. Also, having "jobs" mean they don't have to go see Judy's mother with the others. Can they pull it off?
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiLarry RomanoDoug, Carrie and Arthur have an extraordinary day in the supermarket while shopping for Thanksgiving.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsWhen it turns out that Doug's new dentist once had a crush on Carrie, Doug thinks he hurts him on purpose.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsMark AddyJami GertzJennifer IrwinBill and Judy have to put up with Marion going on about how wonderful her and Fitz's marriage is so after finding out that Marion & Fitz are going to the Rolling Stones concert conceive to buy tickets for the same concert and then end up playing a cat and mouse game with each other when both 'lose the tickets' which they haven't bought in order to guilt Marion and Fitz to giving them their tickets - but they didn't bargain on Brian.
- DirectorJoel MurrayStarsMark AddyJami GertzJennifer IrwinThe Millers go to dinner at Bill's mother and stepfather's new, 5,000 sq.ft mansion, on a Friday night and Lauren is not happy - she'd rather be at three parties taking place that night. But then again, she's got her 16th birthday coming, so she's looking forward to that. Judy and Linda are actually trying to come up with a theme for the party. Then Lauren says she's been thinking and has decided that she does not need a party. Brian rats her out by revealing that Lauren is afraid her party will be lame because "people have major sweet sixteens these days - they have DJs and catering and the whole thing." Judy announces that she will deliver the party Lauren wishes for - even if it means taking the money from BCF, a.k.a. Brian's College Fund. Then Bill's stepfather hears that the BCF is not enough and offers to pay for Lauren's party. Everything seems perfect. What could go wrong?
- DirectorMark CendrowskiStarsMark AddyJami GertzJennifer IrwinBoth Bill and Judy are spending way too much time at Kyle's "Polsky Mansion". Perry is on a tour and refuses to come home to celebrate his six-month wedding anniversary with Linda. Having decorated her and Perry's home apparently for nothing, Linda gets the idea to decorate Kyle's place, because Kyle has been divorced for 5 years and is looking for a more mature woman as a permanent partner. When Bill discovers that Linda is ruining Kyle's place, he turns to Judy, pointing out that she's going to lose her much-loved steam room at Kyle's. Judy tries to talk Linda out of the project, but fails. She then has only one option: to make Bill place an anonymous call to a jealous Perry.
- DirectorJoel MurrayStarsMark AddyJami GertzJennifer IrwinBill's mother, who nobody likes, arrives to spend a week at the Millers. And she brought her cross-stitching equipment, buttons and glue gun. Meanwhile, Brian is about to flunk in gym. Bill was in high school with Brian's teacher and tries to help Brian, with the usual results.
- DirectorRandall EinhornStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiDwight takes former temp Ryan to his beet farm to initiate Ryan to his new job at Dunder Mifflin.
- DirectorMiguel ArtetaStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiMichael encourages the entire Scranton branch to support Kelly and attend a local celebration of Diwali, the Hindu Festival of Lights. Meanwhile, Andy convinces Jim to turn a late night of work into a drinking game.
- DirectorTucker GatesStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiWhen Jan tells Michael that the Scranton Branch will be shutting down, Michael strives to keep his staff's spirits up. Meanwhile, everyone privately begins to envision how their lives will change in the aftermath.
- DirectorKen WhittinghamStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiJan informs Michael that the Scanton branch of Dunder Mifflin will be merging with the Stamford Branch. Jim and Pam are reunited while the other employees of both branches must adjust to their new co-workers.
- DirectorJeffrey BlitzStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJenna FischerMichael learns that one of the new employees at Dunder Mifflin Scranton has a criminal record. Meanwhile, Jim helps Andy make a move on Pam.
- DirectorHarold RamisStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiTrouble among the members of the party planning committee results with Pam and Karen hosting a rival Christmas party, but Michael isn't interested in celebrating after being dumped by Carol.
- DirectorJulian FarinoStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiMichael isn't supposed to let anyone know that he and Jan went on vacation together in Jamaica, but he accidentally circulates a compromising photo of them to the office via e-mail.
- DirectorGreg DanielsStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiDwight does a favor for Angela to keep her from getting in trouble. Andy finds out and uses it against him to get in tighter with Michael. Now Dwight must fess up, which will reveal his relationship with Angela, or risk getting fired.
- DirectorGreg DanielsStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiAndy does the impossible--he makes everyone in the office miss Dwight, who is forced to take a job at Staples. Meanwhile, Oscar comes back to the office and Michael predictably throws a stereotypical Mexican party to celebrate.
- DirectorRandall EinhornStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiMichael asks Jim to get a male stripper for Phyllis's office bachelorette party, but he gets a Ben Franklin impersonator instead. Meanwhile, the men's bachelor party goes as planned until Michael becomes uncomfortable with the stripper.
- DirectorKen WhittinghamStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiMichael exaggerates the importance of his small role in Phyllis's wedding and makes an ass out of himself, and Pam notices that Phyllis stole all of her wedding ideas from her original wedding plans.
- DirectorJoss WhedonStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiMichael is a guest speaker for Ryan's business class, but they have a falling out after Michael finds out that Ryan spoke negatively about Dunder Mifflin. Back at the office, Dwight tries to kill a bat that he found in the ceiling.
- DirectorJ.J. AbramsStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiWhile Michael and Jan go to their first Dunder Mifflin outing as an official couple, the office workers left behind go out for happy hour. During happy hour, Roy finds out that Jim and Pam kissed on Casino Night.
- DirectorJeffrey BlitzStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiDwight saves Jim from an attack by Roy, but Dwight won't allow Jim to thank him for it. Meanwhile, Darryl asks Michael for a pay raise, and Michael discovers that he is woefully underpaid--so Michael goes to headquarters to ask for one himself.
- DirectorHarold RamisStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiAndy returns to the office after weeks of anger management training, determined to make a fresh start with all the Dunder-Mifflin employees. Meanwhile, it's safety training day in the office, and Michael and Dwight are on a mission to illuminate the dangers of the workplace.
- DirectorRandall EinhornStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiMichael tries to be proactive during a watermark crisis, but only makes the situation worse. Meanwhile, Angela has trouble being apologetic with customers, and Andy discovers a secret about his new girlfriend.
- DirectorTucker GatesStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiPhyllis gets flashed in the parking lot, and Dwight goes all out to secure the premises. Michael ostensibly takes the women in the office to the mall to comfort them, but he's really doing it to get advice about breaking up with Jan.
- DirectorHarold RamisStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiMichael uses "beach day" at Dunder-Mifflin to find out which employee would be his most capable replacement, just in case he receives the promotion to the New York office that he's applied for.
- DirectorKen KwapisStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiMichael appoints Dwight as regional manager, anticipating that he will receive the job at corporate. Jim and Karen also interview for the same position. And Michael gets back together with Jan after she gets a boob job.
- DirectorAnthony RussoJoe RussoStarsJoel McHaleGillian JacobsDanny PudiAn ex-lawyer is forced to return to community college to get a degree. However, he tries to use the skills he learned as a lawyer to get the answers to all his tests and pick up on a sexy woman in his Spanish class.
- DirectorJoe JohnstonStarsSam NeillWilliam H. MacyTéa LeoniA decidedly odd couple with ulterior motives convince Dr. Grant to go to Isla Sorna for a holiday, but their unexpected landing startles the island's new inhabitants.
- DirectorRob SchillerStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiPatton OswaltCarrie arranges a blind date for Spence with Jenny, one of Carrie's co-workers.
- DirectorDominic PolcinoKlay HallStarsMike JudgeKathy NajimyPamela AdlonPeggy jeopardizes a potential deal for Hank by trying to bring Women's Liberation to the Arlen Renaissance Fair.
- 1975– 1h 30mTV-147.6 (158)TV EpisodeDirectorDave WilsonGary WeisStarsElliott GouldLeon RedboneHarlan CollinsThe host for the episode is Elliott Gould (his second appearance), and the musical guests are Leon Redbone (his second appearance), Harlan Collins and Joyce Everson. The skits for this episode include scenes inside a wax museum and a European poker player, as well as a presentation by Shirley Temple Black. Re-run ads inform viewers how they can join the fast-paced life of stand-by operators, and asks America to show their guns. A doctor warns a woman that she's been neglecting the proper care of her uvula. The crew of The Enterprise faces their final foe: network executives coming to announce that the series has been canceled. During the Weekend Update, Emily Litella lends Chevy Chase a hand in reading the news after one of the stories flops. An ad pitches the new Vibramatic personal massager for tense muscles. The Bees put on a performance of The Honeymooners. Leon Redbone performs "Shine On, Harvest Moon" and "Walking Stick" and Harlan Collins & Joyce Everson perform "Heaven Only Knows".
- 2008–201722mTV-146.4 (18)TV EpisodeDirectorDon Roy KingStarsAmy PoehlerSeth MeyersFred ArmisenSNL goes primetime on Thursday nights once again featuring jokes and comedic bits from Weekend Update anchor Seth Meyers alongside former co-anchor Amy Poehler.
- DirectorGreg DanielsStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiMichael accidentally runs over Meredith in the parking lot, and his guilt causes him to organize a 5-K run for her. Dwight and Angela have a falling-out after he kills her cat, and Jim and Pam's relationship is discovered.
- DirectorCraig ZiskStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiMichael feels threatened when Ryan returns to the Scranton office to share his ideas about the future of Dunder Mifflin. Jim and Pam's relationship is shared with the entire office, while Angela and Dwight's relationship is on the rocks.
- DirectorKen WhittinghamStarsSteve CarellRainn WilsonJohn KrasinskiThe Dunder Mifflin Infinity website is launching and Michael is excited about going to the big launch party in New York while Angela plans a satellite party for the Scranton branch. Meanwhile, Dwight competes against the website to see who can sell the most paper in one day.
- 2006–201047mTV-147.4 (1.2K)TV EpisodeDirectorEd BianchiDavid StraitonStarsJack ColemanGreg GrunbergAli LarterClaire, back home in California, begins attending college, but is having difficulty adjusting when a mysterious death of a student during the orientation puts her back in the spotlight. In Japan, Hiro and Ando continue their quest to help people with abilities and go so much as to advertise themselves. Meanwhile, Angela fears Nathan/Syler will discover his true identity. Matt tries to settle down back in Los Angeles and raise his son and not worry about unexpected visitors. Elsewhere, Peter is using his ability for good when a mysterious carnival clan, led by Samuel Sullivan, arrives in town which could spell trouble for him and everyone else.
- DirectorJames WiddoesStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsAfter Danny gets a job working at IPS with Doug, he is able to do Doug's route faster than Doug can.
- DirectorJames WiddoesStarsKevin JamesLeah ReminiVictor WilliamsArthur reveals he has a half-brother named Skitch whom he has a house with. This makes Doug think that Arthur should move in with Skitch. The only problem is that Arthur hates Skitch and doesn't want to live there.