Worst M*A*S*H Episodes

Three U.N. delegates come to the 4077th and make a lasting impression on members of the camp, while B.J. treats a patient whose leg injury may require an amputation.

It's another M*A*S*H prankathon. This time, Hawkeye appears to be the marked man after menial practical jokes happen to everyone in camp, but him. Will they get him too? Or is Hawkeye already the victim of an even larger practical joke?

The nurses return from evacuation to find that the doctors have left the camp a mess. Potter announces an inspection in two days, Margaret and the nurses try to get everything reorganized. Nurse Kellye is mad at Hawkeye for ignoring her.

A peddler wheels his cart into camp. Klinger buys from him a goat to get rich selling milk. B.J. shows interest in a blue vase, but Charles outbids him greatly. Meanwhile, much to his chagrin, Hawkeye is paymaster again. But just as he gets the pay rolling, wounded arrive. Hawkeye tells Klinger to keep an eye on the money while he's in surgery. Unfortunately, Klinger left the money in his office alone with the goat...Hawk and Klinger return to find the money gone. It had been eaten. No way would I-CORPS believe that. Worse yet, he still had a ton of angry, unpaid staff members. Meanwhile, Charles, who hasn't yet been paid, can't afford the vase he wants, however Rizzo agrees to loan him the money, with a small 100% interest attached. Will Charles ever get himself out of debt? Will Hawkeye go down for the disappearance of the money, or will his name be cleared by sheer luck or help from a very hungry kid?

After becoming fed up with his bunkmates' living habits, Hawkeye moves out of The Swamp and into a quaint shack behind Rosie's. Meanwhile, Charles and B.J. continue to annoy one another: Charles with his loud, classical music playing at all hours, and B.J. constantly sharing news of Erin's potty training; Colonel Potter wants to paint a portrait of the entire camp as a present for Mildred, but it proves difficult with the men fighting with one another. Klinger, Margaret and Father Mulcahy take it upon themselves to try and get the Swampmen back together. Will they succeed in bringing at least one war to a peaceful finish?

A touring USO show brings an unexpected touch of vaudeville to the 4077th when the star showgirl requires an emergency operation.

Col. Potter's blood pressure is too high and he has two weeks to get it back down, causing everyone to mollycoddle him, much to his dismay. Meanwhile, the malaria medicine they are sent makes Klinger sick.

Everyone at the 4077 is so cranky, cold and bored, BJ decides the only way to uplift spirits is to "borrow" Hawkeye's birthday. Hawkeye is not amused. Captain Anthony Borelli (Robert Alda) visits the 4077 to lecture about peripheral nerve grafting to replace entire segments of skin. Borelli has always really annoyed Hawkeye. When the surgeon is injured at the Battalion Aid Station, Hawkeye rushes to volunteer for duty, just to avoid Borelli. But Borelli insists on accompanying him--so Hawkeye "borrows" BJ's wedding anniversary to substitute for his birthday. After riding to the BAS, the medic, Cpl. Jarvis (Antony Alda) is practically forced to throw water on the battling surgeons and he tells them to knock it off. By surgery's end, Dr. Left and Dr. Right are just a little too happy and annoying enough for one to pause and realize where the good looks in the Alda family went (Antony).

While the 4077th staff substitute for Rosie after she's injured in a brawl at her bar, Father Mulcahy is at the end of his patience when he is passed over for promotion yet again.

Hawkeye falls for a visiting Swedish doctor, but is disconcerted by her take-charge ways. As a result, he is forced to confront his chauvinistic views toward powerful women.