The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time
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- DirectorFred SchepisiStarsSteve MartinDaryl HannahRick RossovichThe large-nosed C.D. Bales is in love with the beautiful Roxanne; she falls for his personality but another man's looks."Let's start with... Obvious: 'scuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?"
- DirectorStephan ElliottStarsHugo WeavingGuy PearceTerence StampTwo drag performers and a transgender woman travel across the desert to perform their unique style of cabaret."Is it true when you were born the doctor turned around and slapped your mother?"
- DirectorGraeme CliffordStarsChristian SlaterSteven BauerRichard HerdA young avid skateboarder uncovers a government conspiracy while investigating his adoptive brother's mysterious death."If I had a dog had a face like yours I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards."
"What'd you say?" - DirectorRob ReinerStarsCary ElwesMandy PatinkinRobin WrightA bedridden boy's grandfather reads him the story of a farmboy-turned-pirate who encounters numerous obstacles, enemies and allies in his quest to be reunited with his true love."I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon."
- DirectorCharles CrichtonJohn CleeseStarsJohn CleeseJamie Lee CurtisKevin KlineIn London, four very different people team up on a jewel heist, then try to double-cross one another for the loot, complicated by their efforts to fool a very proper barrister."You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole!"
- DirectorIrvin KershnerStarsMark HamillHarrison FordCarrie FisherAfter the Rebel Alliance are overpowered by the Empire, Luke Skywalker begins his Jedi training with Yoda, while his friends are pursued across the galaxy by Darth Vader and bounty hunter Boba Fett."Why, you stuck up... half-witted... scruffy-looking... Nerf-herder!"
- DirectorVictor FlemingKing VidorStarsJudy GarlandFrank MorganRay BolgerYoung Dorothy Gale and her dog Toto are swept away by a tornado from their Kansas farm to the magical Land of Oz, and embark on a quest with three new friends to see the Wizard, who can return her to her home and fulfill the others' wishes."You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caligenous junk!"
- DirectorMartin ScorseseStarsRobert De NiroSharon StoneJoe PesciIn Las Vegas, two best friends - a casino executive and a mafia enforcer - compete for a gambling empire and a fast-living, fast-loving socialite."You shit-kicking stinky, horse-manure-smelling motherfucker you!"
- DirectorJohn LandisStarsSteve MartinChevy ChaseMartin ShortThree actors accept an invitation to a Mexican village to perform their onscreen bandit fighter roles, unaware that it is the real thing."You dirt-eating piece of slime! You scum-sucking pig! You son of a motherless goat!"
- DirectorStanley KubrickStarsMalcolm McDowellPatrick MageeMichael BatesIn the future, a sadistic gang leader is imprisoned and volunteers for a conduct-aversion experiment, but it doesn't go as planned."How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil? [...] You eunuch jelly thou!"
- DirectorD'Urville MartinStarsRudy Ray MooreD'Urville MartinJerry JonesAfter he is released from jail, a pimp takes on the criminals and corrupt police officers who framed him in the first place."You no-business, born-insecure, junkyard motherfucker!"
- DirectorJames FoleyStarsAl PacinoJack LemmonAlec BaldwinAn examination of the machinations behind the scenes at a real estate office."You're a fuckin' secretary. Fuck you. That's my message to ya: Fuck you and kiss my ass."
- DirectorTerry ZwigoffStarsBilly Bob ThorntonBernie MacLauren GrahamA miserable conman and his partner pose as Santa and his Little Helper to rob department stores on Christmas Eve. But they run into problems when the conman befriends a troubled kid."You're an emotional fucking cripple. Your soul is dog shit. Every single fucking thing about you is ugly."
- DirectorGeorge MillerStarsJack NicholsonCherSusan SarandonThree single women in a picturesque village have their wishes granted, at a cost, when a mysterious and flamboyant man arrives in their lives."You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell."
- DirectorJoel CoenEthan CoenStarsJeff BridgesJohn GoodmanJulianne MooreJeff "The Dude" Lebowski, mistaken for a millionaire of the same name, seeks restitution for his ruined rug and enlists his bowling buddies to help get it."I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off."
- DirectorMartin McDonaghStarsColin FarrellBrendan GleesonCiarán HindsAfter a job gone wrong, hitman Ray and his partner await orders from their ruthless boss in Bruges, Belgium, the last place in the world Ray wants to be."You're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt, and the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to become an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids."
- DirectorStanley KubrickStarsMatthew ModineR. Lee ErmeyVincent D'OnofrioA pragmatic U.S. Marine observes the dehumanizing effects the Vietnam War has on his fellow recruits from their brutal boot camp training to the bloody street fighting in Hue."It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!"
- DirectorPaul Thomas AndersonStarsDaniel Day-LewisPaul DanoCiarán HindsA story of family, religion, hatred, oil and madness, focusing on a turn-of-the-century prospector in the early days of the business."You're just... afterbirth, Eli. You slithered out of your mother's filth. They should have put you in a glass jar on a mantlepiece."
- DirectorJohn LasseterStarsTom HanksTim AllenDon RicklesA cowboy doll is profoundly threatened and jealous when a new spaceman action figure supplants him as top toy in a boy's bedroom."You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity."
- DirectorMichael CurtizStarsHumphrey BogartIngrid BergmanPaul HenreidA cynical expatriate American cafe owner struggles to decide whether or not to help his former lover and her fugitive husband escape the Nazis in French Morocco."You despise me, don't you?"
"Well, if I gave you any thought, I probably would." - DirectorLes MayfieldStarsSean AstinBrendan FraserPauly ShoreWhen they find a frozen caveman in their back yard, two high school outcasts thaw him and introduce him to modern life while he in turn gets them to actually enjoy life."I wouldn't piss on your gums, if your teeth were on fire."
- DirectorGeorge CukorStarsNorma ShearerJoan CrawfordRosalind RussellA study of the lives and romantic entanglements of various interconnected women."There's a name for you ladies. But it isn't used in high society... outside of a kennel."
- DirectorJohn McTiernanStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerCarl WeathersKevin Peter HallA team of commandos on a mission in a Central American jungle find themselves hunted by an extraterrestrial warrior."You're one ugly motherfucker."
- DirectorSam RaimiStarsBruce CampbellEmbeth DavidtzMarcus GilbertWhen Ash Williams is accidentally transported to 1300 A.D., he must retrieve the Necronomicon and battle an army of the dead in order to return home."You found me beautiful once."
"Honey, you got real ugly." - DirectorJohn CarpenterStarsRoddy PiperKeith DavidMeg FosterThey influence our decisions without us knowing it. They numb our senses without us feeling it. They control our lives without us realizing it. They live."You - you're okay. This one - real fuckin' ugly."