Seen in 2017
Why I haven't been doing this for years I have absolutely no idea. 2016 coming up.
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- DirectorSamuel MaozStarsYoav DonatItay TiranOshri CohenDuring the First Lebanon War in 1982, a lone tank and a paratroopers platoon are dispatched to search a hostile town.1/1 - Holy *beep* what a tense movie! Those films that tend to romanticize or even glamourize war do such a disservice to the world at large...war is dirty, tiring and nonsensical. There's no heroism, there's no honor - there's just doing what your superior says simply because they're your superior and hating and hurting your fellow human being because men in suits miles away from battle decided so. The raw individualities of the soldiers in a Israeli tank unit in the first day of the Lebanon War in '82 are put on display and the result is at times appropriately mundane and boring, but as a whole it's kinda stunning. - 8/10
- DirectorTom FordStarsAmy AdamsJake GyllenhaalMichael ShannonA wealthy art gallery owner is haunted by her ex-husband's novel, a violent thriller she interprets as a symbolic revenge tale.1/1 - It's such a classy, complex affair, so well-orchestrated and OH MY GOD, incredibly acted (no, really, even Aaron Taylor-Johnson is VERY well, and you should know that that coming from me means A LOT) that the slight detachment you feel from what you're watching unfold, while definitely noticed throughout, is more than offset by the incredibly engaging performances and attention to detail that only enriches the storytelling. Amy is a goddess, Jake is definitely the best actor of my generation and yet the one who really does shine the most is Michael Shannon. Also this movie is just such a giant punch in the gut, in the best way possible, that whatever you feel about it, ''indifferent'' sure won't be it. In the end, ''A single man'' is better, sure, but Tom Ford has proven yet again that he's a director everyone should keep on their radar and that style and substance can go hand-in-hand - in excess, no less. - 9.5/10 (CINEMA)
- DirectorEdgar WrightStarsSimon PeggNick FrostMartin FreemanFive friends who reunite in an attempt to top their epic pub crawl from twenty years earlier unwittingly become humanity's only hope for survival.1/1 - LMAO holy *beep* Pegg and Frost were definitely *beep* when they thought up that one, but in the end that's what they do best, isn't it? Outrageously goofy premises that highlight (their) friendship and how supremely weird and even stupid people and the world are. Nice. Also that Pierce Brosnan cameo was GREAT. - 8.5/10
- DirectorChris RenaudStarsLouis C.K.Eric StonestreetKevin HartThe quiet life of a terrier named Max is upended when his owner takes in Duke, a stray whom Max instantly dislikes.1/3 - It begins very strongly with pets in a Brooklyn apartment building being very witty in relating to each other and their owners, but then it makes a seemingly conscientious effort to become every other animation ever by turning into a Big AdventureTM. It doesn't get ruined only because of the insane voice cast of cool comedians (and, you know, Eric Stonestreet), and, who knew, Kevin Hart, whose annoying voice and intonations go perfect with his psychotic fluffy bunny for maximum comedic effect. The first act, Hart and CK, Hannibal Buress, Jenny Slate and co. keep it in the 4-star level. Recommended for a fun 90 minutes. - 7.5/10
- DirectorKenneth LonerganStarsAnna PaquinMatt DamonMark RuffaloA young woman witnesses a bus accident, and is caught up in the aftermath, where the question of whether or not it was intentional affects many people's lives.1/3 - Oh my God, what the hell was that??? What an overlong, pretentious, unfocused piece of *beep* I mean, I know this movie took like five years to be cut and finalized and the whole process was highly problematic, but many critics were all over this director's cut I saw and although I did like "You can count on me" it was definitely not as much as the specialized media did, so right now I'm pretty terrified of "Manchester by the sea" is what I'm saying. Also, I don't remember "The piano" so I can't argue the validity of Paquin's Oscar or lack thereof, but whatever talent she had as a child she's sure grown out of it. MY GOD. Besides, her character is one of the most unlikable protagonists I've seen in a while, which makes watching her trying to ruin Ruff's life all the more unbearable. It's not a total and complete disaster only because of the first act, which is fine, and J. Cameron Smith. - 2/10
- DirectorAnna Rose HolmerStarsRoyalty HightowerAlexis NeblettDa'Sean MinorWhile training at the gym 11-year-old tomboy Toni becomes entranced with a dance troupe. As she struggles to fit in she finds herself caught up in danger as the group begins to suffer from fainting spells and other violent fits.1/3 - Honestly not so sure what's supposed to be so ~powerful about it. It's definitely very fine for a feature debut (and yes, that's exactly the kind of movie that Sundance loves to overestimate), but I don't really get how it got so many mentions in year-end lists. It just keeps building up to something that never materializes! And in the end it feels like Toni's just pretending to have the fits to, you know, fit in (yes, movie, I get it) but then it turns into this dance montage and I mean what? The thing is, I'm probably being way too hard on it because of all the undeserving praise, but it's really okay. - 6/10
- DirectorHugo PrataStarsAndréia HortaGustavo MachadoCaco CioclerThe life of Elis Regina, undoubtedly the greatest Brazilian singer of all time, is told in this biopic film with energetic and pulsating rhythm.1/4 - Oh my god, this is exactly like EVERY SINGLE other musician biopic Globo Filmes (mass) produces. I never really knew Elis' personality or history to judge it on its accuracy, but that's not the point - Globo's soap opera-ish, pasteurized storytelling and visuals makes it all really disappointing no matter how you look at it. Andreia Horta is really well indeed though, and so is Lucio Mauro Filho (!) as Miele. I also love Caco Ciocler a lot, and obviously the music's great throughout, but that can't save poor, uninspired moviemaking. - 5/10 (CINEMA)
- DirectorAsghar FarhadiStarsBérénice BejoTahar RahimAli MosaffaAn Iranian man deserts his French wife and her two children to return to his homeland. Meanwhile, his wife starts up a new relationship, a reality her husband confronts upon his wife's request for a divorce.1/5 - Goddamn, you can't go wrong with Farhadi, can you? What a master...he has such complete control of what he wants and how he wants it done, of space, of his actors and wow, it's just a delight to see. Here and there the slow building may feel way too slow, but everything is calculated, it all has a purpose, and it's always powerful and devastating. Doesn't hurt the performances are as incredibly layered as the characters on the page either. Wow. - 10/10
- DirectorRicky GervaisStarsRicky GervaisRob JarvisAbbie MurphyA camera crew catches up with David Brent, the former star of the fictional British TV series The Office (2001), as he now fancies himself a rock star on the road.1/5 - Gervais resurrects his original Office character for another ride some fifteen years later and the humour and EXTREME secondhand embarrassment are still there, but here's the thing: was the world really asking for more David Brent? You know? This movie just seems way too random, like Gervais is somehow desperate to try to hold on to the limelight. - 6/10
- DirectorAsghar FarhadiStarsShahab HosseiniTaraneh AlidoostiMaral BaniadamWhile Ranaa and Emad, a married couple, are participating in a production of "Death of a Salesman," she is assaulted in their new home, which leaves him determined to find the perpetrator over his wife's traumatized objections.1/6 - Pretty much everything I said in my comment for "Le passé" goes here, but I guess I'd have to know both plays mentioned ("Cow" and "Death of a salesman" - having seen it 10 years ago in Buenos Aires when my Spanish wasn't as good as it is now is not really enough, is it?) for me to actually get this one's full impact. Just struck me how Emad wasn't at all concerned about Rana's feelings and struggle, but only with revenge for his own problems with what happened. That was devastating. - 8.5/10 (CINEMA)
- DirectorDaniel KwanDaniel ScheinertStarsPaul DanoDaniel RadcliffeMary Elizabeth WinsteadA hopeless man stranded on a deserted island befriends a dead body, and together they go on a surreal journey to get home.1/7 - Holy *beep* this movie needs to be commended on creativity alone, plus all the lunacy isn't random at all, it all fits, and both Dano and Redcliffe are completely committed and amazing! Ultimately not a masterpiece in any way, but a worthy watch indeed. I'm really glad I watched this hilarious insanity! - 8/10
- DirectorJon S. BairdStarsJames McAvoyJamie BellEddie MarsanA corrupt, junkie cop with bipolar disorder attempts to manipulate his way through a promotion in order to win back his wife and daughter while also fighting his own inner demons.1/7 - I know it's based on a book that's supposedly even more depraved than this movie but jfc, it feels much more interested in shock value rather than telling an actual story, and making a character a sociopath *beep* doesn't make him ~deep. I mean, sure, McAvoy is really well but like, he's always well and worth watching, but this movie...it's like the director loses the reins of the whole thing at the same rate as Macca's character's mind and actions spin out of control. That's not good. I mean, it starts witty and amusing enough but as it goes on it's not even entertaining...or comprehensible really. - 3/10
- DirectorJohn WellsStarsMeryl StreepDermot MulroneyJulia RobertsA look at the lives of the strong-willed women of the Weston family, whose paths have diverged until a family crisis brings them back to the Oklahoma house they grew up in, and to the dysfunctional woman who raised them.1/8 - People criticized it for being a (much) watered-down version of the beloved play by Tracy Letts (who also wrote the script, which puts him in the same league as Gillian Flynn of destroyers of their own work in exchange for Hollywood money), but you know what? I have no wish whatsoever to watch this on stage. I'm so *beep* tired of these dysfunctional family dramas, they are all the same! Sure, it's never not nice to watch a large cast be fabulous together (although lol @ the Oscar nod Julia Roberts got, and even @ the one for Meryl, seriously, Academy, a little less - if anyone, ~beloved character actress Margo Martindale~ should have been the one with some awards love tbh - and Ewan McGregor is completely wasted in his extremely minor role) and it's not at all bad, it's just...unimaginative. - 5.5/10
- DirectorAki KaurismäkiStarsAndré WilmsBlondin MiguelJean-Pierre DarroussinWhen an African boy arrives by cargo ship in the port city of Le Havre, an aging shoe shiner takes pity on the child and welcomes him into his home.1/8 - For a lot of the first and second acts I was seriously underwhelmed by this movie's triviality and plain silliness, especially when dealing with such a hot and important topic like illegal immigration. The worst thing about it for me was the fact that that was just the backdrop, making the story about a working class old man dealing with his wife's illness while playing cat-and-mouse with a policeman for harboring an African kid, who's more like a prop than a character (which OH MY GOD). The second half picks up on the quirky, cute factor though and ultimately saves the movie for its entertainment value, but I still completely fail to see why critics all over the world love it so goddamn much. - 6/10
- DirectorKen LoachStarsDave JohnsHayley SquiresSharon PercyAfter surviving a heart-attack, a 59-year-old carpenter must fight bureaucratic forces to receive Employment and Support Allowance.1/9 - Wow. Holy *beep* In telling the story of one individual man who fought as hard as he could but was ultimately defeated and literally killed by State bureaucracy, Ken Loach gives us an aching portrait of the working class not only in Britain, but all over the world. With every frame you're confronted with the fact that this isn't a film, that this really happens, every day, to millions and millions of people, and your heart breaks over and over again. This movie isn't sad. The whole crew dying in Rogue One is sad. This is real goddamn life, and it's absolutely DEVASTATING. - 10/10 (CINEMA)
- DirectorDamien ChazelleStarsRyan GoslingEmma StoneRosemarie DeWittWhile navigating their careers in Los Angeles, a pianist and an actress fall in love while attempting to reconcile their aspirations for the future.1/13 - I mean, sure, it's cute af and well-done and all, but Jesus Christ why are people treating it like it's the best movie ever made? It's faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar from either Gosling or Stone's best roles or even Chazelle's best movie (yes, "Whiplash" is better, and not by a little either) and it's honestly so sad when things that are merely okay get an insane amount of praise when incredible stuff goes under the radar! - 6/10 (CINEMA)
- DirectorPark Chan-wookStarsKim Min-heeHa Jung-wooCho Jin-woongA woman is hired as a handmaiden to a Japanese heiress, but secretly she is involved in a plot to defraud her.1/17 - - 10/10 (CINEMA)
- DirectorKenneth LonerganStarsCasey AffleckMichelle WilliamsKyle ChandlerA depressed uncle is asked to take care of his teenage nephew after the boy's father dies.1/25 - - 6/10 (CINEMA)
- DirectorNicholas StollerDoug SweetlandStarsAndy SambergKatie CrownKelsey GrammerStorks have moved on from delivering babies to packages. But when an order for a baby appears, the best delivery stork must scramble to fix the error by delivering the baby.1/26 - - 6/10
- DirectorLars von TrierStarsKirsten DunstCharlotte GainsbourgKiefer SutherlandTwo sisters find their already strained relationship challenged as a mysterious new planet threatens to collide with Earth.1/29 - - 9/10
- DirectorChris KellyStarsJesse PlemonsMolly ShannonBradley WhitfordA struggling comedy writer, fresh off a breakup and in the midst of the worst year of his life, returns to Sacramento to care for his dying mother.1/29 - - 8/10
- DirectorAlan ParkerStarsBrad DavisIrene MiracleBo HopkinsBilly Hayes, an American college student, is caught smuggling drugs out of Turkey and thrown into prison.1/29 - I was honestly gonna give this movie a four for John Hurt (and Randy Quaid, who would have thought), but then I actually took a look at how the even the poster sold this story of a clueless American playboy who thought he'd make easy money smuggling some hash out of a third-world country and ended up in a hellish Turkish prison as one of "triumph" because the kid had "unbelievable courage" and I'm sorry, NO. Just NO. That that goddamn ridiculous score actually got an Oscar and that apparently nobody in 1978 had a fit of giggles over that freeze-frame of the guy jumping for joy outside the prison ending the movie was the last draw. Also, the lead is pretty forced and terrible, which doesn't help any. It still gets a two for the great performances by Hurt and Quaid, but OH MY GOD. Not sure whether it's comforting or horrifying that stuff like that getting award acclaim isn't exclusive to our generation. Oh, and it's an Alan Parker/Oliver Stone joint and seriously, DOES NOT COMPUTE - 2/10
- DirectorAva DuVernayStarsMelina AbdullahMichelle AlexanderCory BookerAn in-depth look at the prison system in the United States and how it reveals the nation's history of racial inequality.1/29 - - 9.5/10
- DirectorMel GibsonStarsAndrew GarfieldSam WorthingtonLuke BraceyWorld War II American Army Medic Desmond T. Doss, serving during the Battle of Okinawa, refuses to kill people and becomes the first man in American history to receive the Medal of Honor without firing a shot.2/6 - - 9.5/10 (CINEMA)
- DirectorAkiva SchafferJorma TacconeStarsAndy SambergJorma TacconeAkiva SchafferWhen it becomes clear that his solo album is a failure, a former boy band member does everything in his power to maintain his celebrity status.2/6 - - 7/10