Less than good movies
These are the movies that failed mildly or strongly to be enjoyable. Some of them, I'll admit I haven't seen the whole, but only because they failed to grip me in any way.
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- DirectorMichael MannStarsColin FarrellJamie FoxxGong LiBased on the 1980s TV action/drama, this update focuses on vice detectives Crockett and Tubbs as their respective personal and professional lives become dangerously intertwined.Barely understood anything that was going on. The two main characters are like stoic aliens.
- DirectorWilliam MonahanStarsColin FarrellKeira KnightleyRay WinstoneAn ex-con with a reputation tries to go straight by working as a handy man for a reclusive actress but this is unfortunately not the wish of London's underground crime lord.A lame rip off of Carlito's way.
- DirectorBill CondonStarsKristen StewartRobert PattinsonTaylor LautnerThe Quileutes close in on expecting parents Edward and Bella, whose unborn child poses a threat to the Wolf Pack and the towns people of Forks.Its tragic the way kids are worshiping this kind of crap, that's just sexist, wierd and without real depth or emotion.
- DirectorJames TobackStarsBen StillerAllan HoustonClaudia SchifferA group of white high school teens become involved with Harlem's black hip-hop crowd.Its just simply a mix of stories that don't make any sense.
- DirectorNeil JordanStarsColin FarrellAlicja BachledaDervla KirwanAn Irish fisherman discovers a woman in his fishing net whom his precocious daughter believes to be a selkie.It started off good, but then it became a very disappointing ending.
- DirectorJan de BontStarsHelen HuntBill PaxtonJami GertzTwo storm chasers on the brink of divorce must work together to create an advanced weather alert system by putting themselves in the cross-hairs of extremely violent tornadoes.Same as above. Everything was perfect, the characters, the beautiful music, special effects... and then came the last thirty minutes and it was a total clichéd wreck.
- DirectorSteven SoderberghStarsGeorge ClooneyBrad PittMatt DamonDanny Ocean rounds up the boys for a third heist after casino owner Willy Bank double-crosses one of the original eleven, Reuben Tishkoff.The only film I regretted going to the cinema to.
- DirectorUlu GrosbardStarsRobert De NiroMeryl StreepHarvey KeitelAlthough they live married lives, two strangers keep running into each other, starting a friendship that could blossom into so much more.Robert De Niro, Meryl Streep and Harvey Keitel. The names might be exiting, but the film has absolutely nothing. Nothing at all.
- DirectorAnnabel JankelRocky MortonStarsBob HoskinsJohn LeguizamoDennis HopperTwo Brooklyn plumbers, Mario and Luigi, must travel to another dimension to rescue a princess from the evil dictator King Koopa and stop him from taking over the world.Annoying, clichéd and terrible. A total mess.
- DirectorDavid CronenbergStarsJames SpaderHolly HunterElias KoteasAfter recovering from a car crash, a film producer becomes involved with an underground sub-culture of car crash victims who are sexually aroused by car accidents, hoping it will help him rekindle his sexual relationship with his wife.Sex and violence is a really distasteful combination. You get turned on by the nudity, but it's total turn off when you see the violence and the car crashes.
- DirectorJan de BontStarsLiam NeesonCatherine Zeta-JonesOwen WilsonDr Marrow enlists Theo, Luke and Nell for a study of sleep disorders at the Hill House. As soon as the terrifying truth about the mansion is revealed, everyone is found fighting for their lives.Way too fantastical. I don't have a problem with haunted houses stories, it started off just fine, with great characters, but it ultimately became disappointing.
- DirectorGus Van SantStarsMichael PittLukas HaasAsia ArgentoA Seattle musician's life and career are reminiscent of those of Kurt Cobain.If after more than thirty minutes the story doesn't get interesting, means it certainly isn't worth wasting time for. I wish they would do a good and accurate portrayal of Cobain instead of just fishing for imagination.
- DirectorStuart BairdStarsTommy Lee JonesWesley SnipesRobert Downey Jr.U.S. Marshal Samuel Gerard and his team of Marshals are assigned to track down Sheridan, who has been accused of a double-murder.Failed to set off any interesting pay off at the end.
- DirectorTinto BrassStarsMalcolm McDowellPeter O'TooleHelen MirrenA dramatization of the ascent to Caesar and subsequent reign of Caligula, one of the most notorious leaders of ancient Rome. We see his ambition, his scheming, his perversion and decadence, his brutality and his lunacy.The script is a mess, and the nudity is gratuious. After 40 minutes, I couldn't take any more.
- DirectorTerry JonesStarsJohn CleeseTerry GilliamEric IdleThe comedy team takes a look at life in all of its stages in their own uniquely silly way.Not really the best of the Pythons, just alot of stories muddled up, like the original series, but without really hilarious moments. Doesn't include a basic storyline like the last two movies.
- DirectorJules BassArthur Rankin Jr.StarsJeff BridgesMia FarrowAngela LansburyA beautiful unicorn sets out to learn if she truly is the last of her kind in this sparkling animated musical.I'd like it more if it wasn't so fantastical, or badly animated. I liked the casting of Mia Farrow in the title role, though.
- DirectorDavid FincherStarsJesse EisenbergAndrew GarfieldJustin TimberlakeAs Harvard student Mark Zuckerberg creates the social networking site that would become known as Facebook, he is sued by the twins who claimed he stole their idea and by the co-founder who was later squeezed out of the business.Incredibly boring. I was so glad it didn't win big at the Oscars.
- DirectorJon AvnetStarsAl PacinoAlicia WittBen McKenzieOn the day that a serial killer that he helped put away is supposed to be executed, a noted forensic psychologist and college professor receives a call informing him that he has 88 minutes left to live.If this didn't star Al Pacino, it would be another cheap, crappy direct to video film. Pacino really doesn't fit something as mediorcre as this.
- DirectorKevin DowlingStarsDanny AielloAnne ArcherMichael BiehnSexy, young Ellie picks up Al, 53, in a diner in LA to get a ride to her mom in the Mojave desert. Ellie leaves Al there with the pretty mom, her crazy, violent boyfriend and a body in his car trunk.The only thing that's good about this movie is seeing Angelina Jolie young, beautiful, wild and nude. The rest of it is one of the worst wastes of time ever.
- DirectorJon AvnetStarsRobert De NiroAl PacinoCarla GuginoTwo veteran New York City detectives work on a case of serial executions of criminals who escaped justice.There WERE pretty high expectations with this movie, considering the last movie De Niro and Pacino starred in was the ever brilliant Heat.
Let's just say the gong didn't sound loud enough on this one. Too bad. - DirectorDavid AnspaughStarsMira SorvinoMariah CareyMelora WaltersA new waitress working at an Italian restaurant in New York City finds herself entangled in a mob-run underworld of drug dealing and murder.I'm not sure if I was put off by the horrifying violence, or because Mariah Carey was actually better than Oscar winner Mira Sorvino.
- DirectorSteven SoderberghStarsChanning TatumAlex PettyferOlivia MunnA male stripper teaches a younger performer how to party, pick up women, and make easy money.I had a better time watching paint dry.
- DirectorWill FinnJohn SanfordStarsJudi DenchCuba Gooding Jr.Jennifer TillyTo save their farm, the resident animals go bounty hunting for a notorious outlaw.Squeemish, and not in a way horror movies make me. It hardly looks like Disney at all.
- DirectorBarry SonnenfeldStarsTommy Lee JonesWill SmithRip TornAgent J is sent to find Agent K and restore his memory after the re-appearance of a case from K's past.The dialogue is silly, the plot is weak, the villain is not threatening and the whole thing is plain unnecessary. Better to just forget this one and see the third.
- DirectorTim BurtonStarsMichael KeatonDanny DeVitoMichelle PfeifferWhile Batman deals with a deformed man calling himself the Penguin wreaking havoc across Gotham with the help of a cruel businessman, a female employee of the latter becomes the Catwoman with her own vendetta.Compared to the previous movie with the Joker, the villains in the movie are quite below average.