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I'll get round to making a top 100 or something eventually,in the mean time desensitizing my brain to all manner of disgusting/nasty/depraved/entertaining films that are recommended to me.
Feel free to PM if you think there's anything I'd like - including, but not limited to trashy exploitation, gore flicks, cheeze, japanese, slasher, zombies...eh the works.
Reviews
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
Not a bad 80's slasher
Managed to get this one cheap and enjoyed watching it, but could be better.
In the same vein as Halloween (though not nearly as good) it manages to create that classic 80's suspense. The basic premise is that there is a slumber party and the teenagers begin to get picked off one by one - your pretty standard slasher affair. In terms of nudity we get a few decent glimpses of T&A and I would say thats OK, its not overdone.
Blood is sadly lacking I'm afraid. Although it picks up a bit at the end, it still leaves the film feeling a bit "bare". Halloween can enthral its audience with suspense and atmosphere, but as this film lacks a bit in this department, we're left with a gap to fill.
Complaints aside, it does the job pretty well, we have a houseful of satisfyingly terrified teenagers, lots of screaming and running and some decent music.
But yeah, if you're a slasher fan or a fan of 80's horror in general, I recommend giving this a view. Just to say you've seen it, and its a good Halloween substitute (I thought I could go a review without mentioning Halloween, but oh well).
Beyond the Limits (2003)
Good solid gore flick
I first bought this as a blind buy, and I'm glad I did. Ittenbach went all out on this one. For those of you not familiar with Olaf Ittenbach -he specialises in low-budget gore films that actually are semi-professional in looks (if not acting) and the effects are impressive enough to BE professional.
Anyway, Beyond the Limits is basically divided into 3 sections, 2 of them are set in present day, and one back in medieval times. Two of them are accounts of a story, told to a reporter by a guy who looks after a graveyard. He begins to talk about the recent death of a local gangster, and gradually recounts the story of why he died.
First episode, a gangster is having a party at a house and basically has double crossed some people or something. Things really spin out of control however when the party gets crashed by a sadistic murderer and his partner. Use your imagination for what happens next. All manner of dismemberments, explodings of heads, throat slittings, shotgun blasts to the chest at point blank and loads more with various implements - not forgetting the machete. Ittenbach didn't hold back here, this is all out carnage.
The second episode takes you back to medieval times where some guy who lives in a castle has a vendetta against some religious villagers. Plus he's also after something. There's a bloody massacre in a church - men, women and children in various gruesome ways and is done with brutality and delight by the knights. This second episode centres around a knight who is hard pressed to protect his pretty wife and also to try and protect the villagers from the unyielding castle lord. Things take a sinister turn for the worse when he's discovered as a traitor and has to battle against the this madman who will stop at nothing - rape, torture and murder to get what he's looking for. (You'll see, by the way - that the 2 stories are linked). At the end of this second episode we get an extremely graphic portrayal of Ittenbach's vision of hell. At the end, the film cuts back to the present day, when the reporter discovers that the evil that drove these men is still alive today.
As summaries go, that was longer than anticipated but I think the story is better than some of his other films. In terms of gore, well....we've got the whole bundle. Torture, rape and brutal massacre's are the order of the day and everything is done in a convincing and professional way. The acting could be better sometimes, but again the emphasis is not on that. To put it simply, it does the job. And that should be enough for anyone who would watch a film like this. Amongst the carnage are some fairly nice settings - the nicest being the knight and his wife in a snow-laden wood. Its nice to have these little scenes interrupting the bloodshed, gives the film a whole other angle. Make no mistake, it's primarily a gore film, but variety adds to the mix.
I don't want to spoil the whole film for you, I think I've made my point. Watch it, and appreciate the professionalism and effort that have gone into it. I recommend Ittenbach's other stuff, Legion of the Dead, Garden of Love if you like things like this. Make sure you get the uncut version though!
Garden of Love (2003)
Silly yet entertaining
I've watched some of Ittenbach's stuff before, and come to know them as entertainment, purely and simply. No strong story or anything, you can't really empathise with the characters, but the effects are impressive and its a way to kill a couple of hours.
Basically its the story of a girl who's family gets slaughtered when she's little and she barely survives but because of all the trauma etc. she can't remember a thing. Anyway, when she's older it starts coming back to her and the ghosts or spirits of her dead family come and tell her to lure their killers into the house. fairly simple, straight forward story with a few of the usual clichés, but as I mentioned before, the focus is on the gore effects.
Acting isn't the greatest, but that didn't bother me a great deal.
Gore is quite free-flowing, with a few impressive slaughter scenes in a variety of way - knives, machete's, hands, people getting dismembered, disembowelled, heads crushed, split open, drills and throats getting slit. Whew...quite a list, but there's quite a bit of it going on. Like I mentioned before, grab a few beers and just enjoy yourself really, don't take it seriously and you won't be disappointed. For a low budget gore flick, it does the job pretty well and people who're into this stuff I think will enjoy it.
Nikos the Impaler (2003)
Great low-budget horror
First and foremost, I do NOT regret buying this one bit. Its a low-budget gore movie and thats exactly what you get, with added comedy.
The plot is very simple. Big bad barbarian called Nikos becomes a bit of a problem for some ancient Romanian people, so they go along and kill him. With his dying words he states that death will not stop him. Cut to modern day, with an exhibition of ancient Romanian art in full swing. Of course there just happens to be the mask of Nikos hanging around in a store room and right on cue - a robbery attempt occurs. Well, suffice to say, blood gets spilt, and right on Niko's mask too. Thats his signal to rise up and wreak bloody vengeance on anybody and everybody in his way.
Its a monster/survivors style film, which really goes crazy at the end. I won't spoil it all, but Nikos manages to find some "special Powers" from somewhere and goes about resurrecting a few people to fight alongside him.
The gore is good for what this film is. There's no ultra-realism, nor is it striven for. Some effects are so obviously fake, but strangely they don't detract from the overall impact of the film. We have people getting beheaded, cut in half at the waist and slit right up the middle! See, Nikos has one massive sword which he's quite fond of swinging at people, so we get a lot of action.
Acting is amateur I'm sorry to say. And while you do expect flicks like this to have amateurs, I would have to say this is quite low. I've seen plenty of other films with better actors and lower budgets so...thats probably what knocked 2 stars off my score. Don't take it too hard though. The actors manage to drag the story along and they do OK in the screaming/running/dying categories.
The words "Shower Scene" always seem to attract people's attention and certainly here we have a fairly good one. In the DVD extra's we have the full uncut (if you have the unrated DVD) version. Darrien Cane is a woman who's starred in a lot of Seduction Cinema films before so you may or may not be familiar with her. Whilst on subject, this is really the only spot of nudity we have. Its fairly explicit and all the better for it if you ask me.
In conclusion, yes - do go out and buy it if you like this kind of thing. By "this kind of thing" I mean low-budget horrors with an emphasis on fun, campy gore and something great to have a beer to. Let me just mention the different versions though. IMDb tells you that the UK version is cut, and it is. In the shower scene, Nikos interrupts and there is a few seconds of literal breast-ripping that the BBFC didn't like. Subsequently this isn't in the rated version. If you can, get your hands on the uncut version - either directly from Andreas Schnaas on his site or from an importer.
The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984)
Mediocre, slightly boring and not really worth buying.
I was in two minds about buying this. I mean, an 80's fantasy flick in the vein of Conan sounds interesting doesn't it? At least thats what I thought. So I decided to buy this, and now I sort of regret it.
Let me summarise the story:
A "holy" warrior, Kain (David Carradine) comes across this little village that is dominated by two tyrants. Each of these have their little following of people, and both of them are arch-enemies. Basically, they're both locked in a struggle for control of the village well which is (conveniently) situated right in between their encampments. Cue our Hold Warrior, who plays the sides off against each other, to collect the rewards for doing so, but he also has his eye on a captive sorceress (Maria Socas). I suppose you can guess where the story is going from here - he tries to free the sorceress while staying alive and then there's a whole army of traders to contend with, most of which are quite angry as they were massacred before.
Its a very simple plot, but there's just something that doesn't hit it off. The action is slow, and in between the few and far between fights, there are some quite tedious and boring places. I don't have a problem with the acting as such - I've seen much worse (but also much better) but Carradine seems a bit wooden throughout. Violence is nearly non-existent. The only blood you see is on a sword blade, and I mean, the ONLY place. The swords must be made of plastic or wood or something, because when they fight, it looks like they're fighting with stick, whacking each other over the head with not a drop of blood in sight. Maria Socas (the sorceress) goes about topless the whole movie, as you've probably heard by now. And along with the 4 breasted erotic dancer (no, its not that good) its a veritable display of female nudity. If you're after the nudity, there's far better in just about every other movie, so there's no way you should buy this just on that.
Its a way to spend a mindless hour or so, at 77 minutes (I think) its not that long, but you'd probably be better off randomly switching on the TV. There are worse films, but this is pretty bad.