Nikos (2003) (V)

Director:

Andreas Schnaas

Writers:

Ted Geoghegan (writer)
Andreas Schnaas (from a story by)

Genre:

Comedy | Horror | Thriller

Tagline:

He's going to paint the town red... blood red.

Plot:

Due to a botched robbery attempt, a ruthless Romanian barbarian is somehow resurrected in modern day...

Plot Keywords:

Barbarian | Masked Killer | Torso Cut In Half | Oral Sex | Lesbian

Cast

Joe Zaso	...	Frank Heller
Felissa Rose	...	Sandra Kane
Andreas Schnaas	...	Nikos a lu Unziceanu
Antonio Tomahawk	...	Prince Vajk lu Rusu
Frank Franconeri	...	Bran
Daniel Alvaro	...	Vlad
Mike Marino	...	Torn Man
Hugh C. Daly	...	Romanian King / Video Store Clerk
Erotida Cruz	...	Romanian Queen
Fred Cerniglia	...	Romanian Son
Brenda Abbandandolo	...	Daisy
Joseph Michael Lagana	...	Pete Whittenberger
Joe Lattanzi	...	Ryan Lundin
Alicia Tsai	...	Anna
Danny Lopes	...	University Student

Also Known As:

Nikos the Impaler (USA)

Runtime:

USA:100 min

Country:

Germany

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Certification:

UK:18 (cut)

Filming Locations:

Long Island, New York, USA

Company:

Cinema Image Productions

Trivia:

Thunders used to be a real gay/lesbian night club/bar in Huntington, Long Island, New York before it closed in 2005.

Movie Connections:

References Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV (2000)

Soundtrack:

THE DOOR: LIGHTS OUT!

Pretty lame splatter-fest, but worth a go for a laugh or two.

You've got to admire Andreas Schnaas: despite no discernible talent for film-making, he's been churning out low-budget gore movies since 1987. I first experienced his bargain basement horror 15 years ago with the abominable 'Zombie 90' , and I recently picked up 'Nikos the Impaler' in the hope that maybe he had improved somewhat over the last decade and a half. No prizes for guessing that he hasn't!

This tale of a bloodthirsty 11th century barbarian brought to life in present day New York features some of the worst direction, editing and acting it has ever been my misfortune to witness. Schnaas and his team seem to have no idea how to piece a film together, but somehow, despite this (or because of this), 'Nikos' turned out to be fairly entertaining—a case of a film being made bearable due to its utter crapness. Of course it doesn't hurt that Schnaas loads his film with joke-shop gore and includes a gratuitous shower scene for the blokes (albeit one featuring a skanky woman with bad tattoos).

Schnaas's first film to be made in America, 'Nikos' starts off slowly, and the first half an hour is a real chore to sit through. After that, the blood starts to flow and fans of no-budget gore-fests will love the OTT death scenes. The unrealistic no-frills splatter FX come thick and fast and are good for a laugh, if nothing else.

Nikos, the big bad Romanian who is resurrected when blood is accidentally splashed on his mask at a museum/gallery, slices and dices his way through the cast, splashing blood and body parts all over the place. After slaughtering the people in the gallery, he continues his killing spree on the streets of the Big Apple, wasting the occupants of a cinema, the staff of a gym and finally some people in a video shop. At this point the movie goes completely bonkers, and Schnaas throws in some ninjas, a vampire and Hitler for good measure!

Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Well, for a while it is, but the lack of a decent plot and any evidence of technical ability from the makers ensures that proceedings become tedious before long. There's only so many inept beheadings you can take before you start longing for the end credits to roll instead.