CinemanBear Reviews

When a Stranger Calls (2006)

Wake Up Horror Filmmakers!

[3/10 · 23 February 2006]

I don't mind remakes at all, but this one was poorly executed! The good news: I do think it was a wonderful idea to remake only the memorable opening scene of the original. The bad news: why did the filmmakers feel the need to distract us with some elaborate high-tech lake house and a bunch of red herrings that never panned out into anything? The answer: because they were trying to make up for the fact that their story had more holes in it than a pasta strainer. Reality check: why does a couple as wealthy as the Mandrakis' feel the need to hire a high school babysitter who isn't even smart enough to make the majority of her cell phone calls past 8pm? Do they have a nanny? Was the nanny on vacation? Why couldn't the maid take time out from feeding the fish to keep an eye on the kids for a couple of hours? In my opinion, Camilla Belle wasn't strong enough an actress to carry a film in which she primarily has to react to everything around her. She seemed to only be capable of delivering one reaction and one emotion. She showed no range in this film. The only actor to show any far-reaching emotion was "The Stranger" himself in the final scene when he stares down Jill and you finally get to see his face. That might as well be more attributed to placing yourself in that moment and feeling that chill more than anything. That's all I really have to say about the acting aspect of this film.

I really do wish that horror filmmakers will wake up and stop delivering these watered-down PG-13 films to the general public and passing them off as horror films.

Transamerica (2005)

Gritty Story And Interesting Characters!

[7/10 · 23 February 2006]

Usually, if I absolutely love a movie, I have no problem giving it 10 out of 10. Other times, I just go down the scale and pick the first number that feels right. Having said that, I liked "Transamerica", but I didn't love it and probably wouldn't consider adding it to my DVD collection when it becomes available.

I do admire Felicity Huffman's performance. Being a devout "Desperate Housewives" fan, I can appreciate the acting ability she possesses that allowed her to portray this character. It's a far cry from Lynnette! Kevin Zegers also shines in this film! Looking back on his filmography, it's hard to believe what he's done prior to this. He completely blended into the scenery (which may have been intended) in "Wrong Turn" and I was dumbfounded to find out that this beautiful and talented actor was the little boy from the "Air Bud" movies! Kevin turns in a wonderful performance which only enhanced the performance of his co-star. The supporting cast was adequate. The group of actors portraying Huffman's family were terrific and did outstanding jobs at blending levity into a dramatic film with such an important issue at it's core. That element truly added a small amount of realism to the foundation of this story. We weren't just seeing the struggle of a transgender individual, we were witnessing the impact their life had on the lives of those close to her. The supporting players achieved this with the greatest of ease.

The overall story was well-done, although there was one element that made me shift in my seat. The scene towards the end where Toby confesses to Bree that he's fallen in love with her and offers to marry her. While touching in it's idea, as soon as you reminded yourself that this was her son, the feeling immediately turns to discomfort. I also half expected a warm reconciliation at the end of the film, but a whole lifetime of tidy happy endings didn't prepare me for what the end result would be. You were left with the impression that things were eventually going to be okay with these two, and, hey, that's reality isn't it? SUPERFICIAL SIDEBAR: Kevin Zegers doesn't make a good blonde. He's much more beautiful with dark hair.

Pride & Prejudice (2005)

Pride & Prejudice = Masterful & Stunning

[10/10 · 12 February 2006]

I have to admit that, personally, watching a film that takes place in a time so distant from a time I can relate to is sometimes so daunting a task for me. This isn't to say that I am in any way moronic or ill-educated. It's just that, occasionally, filmmakers don't do an adequate job with translating these classic novels into the film format.

Having said that, I want to tell you what a truly wonderful viewing experience this film was. From the fade in on, I was completely enveloped in this film, it's setting, and characters. The indication that lets you know you are watching a truly exceptional film is that you become part of the story, or the story becomes part of you, and you are not there as merely an observer anymore. There were moments in the film where I had to look down in order to make sure I wasn't dressed in tails.

The setting was truly marvelous. The director made excellent use of the English countryside. There is one scene in particular that stands out as having brought tears to my eyes. It's towards the end with Kiera Knightly standing on what I can only assume is a very small cliff. It's a wide shot, but it almost looks like a painting. It was beautiful!

Most of the actors turned in splendid performances! Donald Sutherland was an appropriate choice to add that touch of subtle humor. Judi Dench can always be counted on for that perfect brand of matriarchal superiority. Matthew Macfayden, who's work I'd never seen, gave a great performance in the role of Darcy, conveying with ease that his character had many facets behind his highly-polished, yet aloof exterior. The supporting cast was wonderful, too, and it's so refreshing to see an actress such as Jena Malone in a supporting role like this. I've been a fan of hers since "Stepmom". If she plays her cards right, this film could be her catalyst into more adult roles. Last, but, by no means, least, Kiera Knightley shines in this film! The only other film I've seen her in was "The Jacket", but this film really made me appreciate her more as an actress because, in that film, all I could think of was how much she resembled Winona Ryder, and how it would be interesting to seem them play sisters in something. While I loved "The Jacket", it's my opinion that that film kind of almost muted Kiera Knightley's abilities as an actress. What I realized from this film is that she is extremely proficient at knowing just how to deliver her lines, and also conveys emotion well through her facial expressions. It's hard to not focus solely on her in a scene because she unintentionally steals any scene that she's in. Kiera Knightley has been offically added to the growing list of actresses that have earned my total respect and appreciation. I can't wait to go through her filmography to experience more of this fine actress, and I can't wait to see what she does next.

Margaret Cho: Assassin (2005 TV Special)

Another Brilliant Cho Experience!

[10/10 · 9 February 2006]

WOW! With all due respect to my fellow reviewers, I was shocked that this film didn't get the raves that I'm about to give.

I have enjoyed watching our Miss Cho evolve over the years. My first taste of Cho came, I believe, somewhere in the mid-to-late-nineties. For fellow Cho aficionados, you'll recall this was the stand-up special that she wore the sassy little leather jump suit, and she was just on the brink of success (or so she thought) with "All-American Girl". What a dramatic contrast from that performance to "Assassin". Gone from the former are the biting political commentary and brand of raunchy wit that we have now come to expect from Cho. Instead, as I recall, her topics of choice were the development of her pending sitcom, 1980's nostalgia, and her family, among other things. Now that I think about it, there were very minor hints of the Margaret Cho we would come to know and love.

Fast forward almost 10 years later...Had Cho decided to not break out of her box, be who she is, and tell all the conglomerates and the rest of us wanting to keep her in that box to go take a flying leap, she probably would have gone the way of her ill-fated sitcom. Cho has grown so much as evidenced in her series of concert films starting with "I'm The One That I Want". With "Assassin", I believe Cho has fully come into her own. She's firm in what she stands for and has no problem telling you how she feels. To paraphrase the comedian herself: she's not angry, just confused about the problems and injustice in the world. This concert film is a lesson in blending the expression of political opinion with the appropriate (and sometimes random) amount of humor. Suffice it to say, Margaret Cho does it beautifully.

In my opinion, the reason that the few reviews I read weren't as favorable as my own are due in large part to our basic human nature to reject that which we are not used to or don't readily understand. In at least one review, there is remorse for the absence of her classic and well-loved impersonations of her hysterical mother. At first, I was only mildly disappointed, until I realized that, above the fact she's a performer, Cho is also an artist. As an artist, perhaps she's bored continuing the shtick of her mother and has made the decision to gradually phase her mother out of her act, save for maybe the casual reference and impersonation where appropriate, in which case she made an excellent effort at that in "Assassin".

Obviously, I can go on and on spreading the gospel that is Margaret Cho. This film has definitely made me see her in a brand new light and has provided me a deeper insight into what I do believe is an extraordinary human being, but don't take my word for it. Here's an experiment: rent all of her concert films, "I'm The One That I Want" all the way up to "Assassin". See the evolution of Cho and then decide.

The Teacher (1974)

I Didn't Know They Packaged Trash For DVD!

[1/10 · 6 February 2006]

First thing that comes to mind when I think of "The Teacher" - all the waisted DVD disks that must have been waisted in unleashing this 1970's cheese-fest on the poor, unsuspecting public. The second thing is that ridiculous "theme song" (if you can call it that). That freakin' thing was stuck in my head for days after seeing this piece of cow plop of a film.

There's not one appealing or redeeming quality about it, save for the fact that the annoying "Dennis The Menace" matured into a pretty good-looking guy, but I digress. Acting: Dreadful! Premise: Bizarre and a little difficult to understand. In addition to those elements, the transfer of this film to DVD was horrid. I mean, why bother transferring a piece of junk film like this, especially given the original film quality is crap. The quality of this film very much reminded me of 1970's porn, which fits just perfectly considering some of the gratuitous scenes.

Now, I enjoy a good cheesy flick to make fun of, as I'm sure many of us film fanatics do, but, please, I implore you, do not waste your time on this clunker!

Scarred (2005 Video)

Laughed All The Way Through, But JUMPED At The End!

[2/10 · 3 February 2006]

I saw this movie sitting on the shelf while perusing the video store with a friend and rushed home right away to order it on Netflix. In anticipation of it's arrival, I came on to IMDb to find out anything I could about it. What I found out based on other reviews is that the movie I thought was going to be really creepy was really going to be a laugh riot. I thought about changing my mind and deleting it from my queue, but, then I thought, "How much fun is it going to be to laugh at this movie with my roommate?" Last night we watched it and had the biggest laugh we've had in a long time. Like a lot of horror movies, this movie has a great concept, but lacks proper execution and, of course, character development. The acting left a lot to be desired. The only seen I felt engrossed in was the park ranger telling the family the "legend" of the faceless girl, but I don't know if that was due to the scene as it was written or the actor delivering the dialog.

The movie, in general, was one big belly laugh, practically from beginning to end...until the final shot. I knew that the faceless girl was in the back seat because the entire movie had been predictable, but I didn't expect her to jump out at the screen. I have to admit, that made me jump and scream at 1:00am, which I'm sure my neighbors didn't appreciate.

To sum it up, I'd recommend this film if you really want to laugh at a horror film and if you want to jump and scream at it's ending!

The Simple Life (2003–2007)

Nicole Richie And Paris Hilton Rock!

[2 February 2006]

I'd forgotten how much of an improvement season 2 was over it's predecessor until I purchased it just the other evening at Best Buy for an unbelievably low $6.99! What a breath of fresh air to be taken off the farm and out of the dead-end town of Altus! It's so fun to watch these two girls in action as they breeze into the lives of unsuspecting "regular folk" and turn their lives upside down. It's outrageous to watch what they're able to get away with, but it makes you wonder how much of it is actually orchestrated. While I love the show, one thing I find most annoying is the reactions of the people that invite Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie to perform these jobs. Come on, being surprised when they inevitably either screw the job up or blow it off altogether is like being surprised when Britney Spears shows her belly button - it's expected! I'm sorry, if I was a manager or proprietor of a business, as much as I adore these girls, if I valued my position as manager or my business I wouldn't allow them within 100 yards.

I think people put way too much effort into being overly-critical of this show. It's fluffy and doesn't require any thought to watch it. It's pure, unadulterated fun, and it's a wonderful escape. Now, I like movies and television shows that make you think as much as the next guy, but, tell the truth, don't you just want to sit back sometimes and watch a show that doesn't require you to use any brain power at all?