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jford-19
Reviews
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
A solid if flawed follow up
A lot of people thought this movie was a bad idea before it even materialised which meant that there was always going to be hostility to the finished product. Personally, i thought it was a cool idea - provided the filmmakers could come up with a good story. The end product beats the expectations of the haters but falls short of producing a truly amazing follow up.
The plus points of this movie are the amazing fx and chase scenes. The crane truck chase is one of my favourite action movie scenes ever, and is timed perfectly. The story line has been pushed along, with the realisation that Judgement Day cannot be stopped. This comes true at the end of the film with the bombs going off while some gentle classical music plays in the background. It's incredibly poignant for a Terminator movie and a great way to end the film. And of course, seeing Arnold as the now iconic Terminator when we all thought he'd bogged off to be a politician is a very welcome sight.
There are however, a lot of niggles that add up to a fair amount of disappointment for the true fans. Nick Stahl takes some getting used to and Claire Danes is just terrible with her granny hair cut and bad clothes. The return of Dr. Silberman is unnecessary, as is the gay sunglasses joke.
The most annoying aspect is in the continuity - the van that the good guys are driving hits at least 2 other vehicles at high speeds and gets squashed between 2 cop cars as well as being spun 360 yet when it is seen afterwards for a good few scenes it is intact! I can't believe this terrible blooper made it through! Its so obvious, even on first watch that it spoils the film for me.
Yet despite it's flaws T3 is a good solid action film, just like the recent Die Hard 4.0 - you know what you're getting and OK its a bit old hat, but for thrills alone it's definitely worth a watch.
The Hitcher (2007)
Pointless with few surprises
I had a sense of anticipation about this film. Having not seen the original I had no expectations but I knew Sean Bean would be able to do such a legendary character justice.
Unfortunately, I was badly let down. Sean Bean was obviously here for the money only as he looks bored and doesn't make any effort at all. Given the pointless, dreary script he was given though, I am not surprised. The filmmakers have obviously been sleepwalking too as everything here has been done before... far better. There are a few surprises and i even jumped once but the inane, unbelievable plot left me wanting it to be over.
For some reason the killer, who psychotically murders everyone he encounters, decides (for reasons unknown) not to murder the 2 'heroes' of the film. Instead, he tries to have them framed for the murders he commits. 'What a brilliant, different twist' i thought.
Turns out there is no reasoning behind this AT ALL and halfway through, when ol' Sean gives himself away as the killer you realise how truly pointless this film is as he kills everybody in sight. (Except the 2 heroes which it now turns out he wasn't trying to frame at all, but simply kept wasting opportunities to kill off. This makes it even more unbelievable). By the end you wonder why; but no explanation is forthcoming which turns this potential twisted thriller flick into an unbelievably generic slasher/action film. I would not sit through this movie again but I will go check out the original which I bet will be far superior.
Hostel: Part II (2007)
Oh dear!
I don't write reviews very often but i had to say something about this film - IT IS THE WORST FILM I HAVE EVER SEEN! The 1st Hostel was pathetic - to do a sequel that follows exactly the same plot as the original shows how poor a film-maker Eli Roth really is. The only difference between this and the first one is... wait for it... it has girls instead of boys as the lead characters! I suppose that was to up the horror factor, like seeing girls tortured is more horrifying than seeing boys tortured. Wrong, wrong, wrong. As with the first, the characters so stupid and clichéd you couldn't care less about them. There's the geeky girl who's dialogue is so poor you really just want her to die quickly, the annoying party girl and of course the 'heroine' who is not all she seems.
The 2 guys who are in on the kill are terrible, they act like 15 year olds smoking pot for the first time and were just hilarious. Their lines were weak - the F word 4 times in every sentence, one convincing the other that they 'had to do this, dude' etc. As if 40 year old businessmen calling each other 'dude' isn't bad enough, the predictability of their role reversals at the moment of truth is a howler.
Another thing that annoyed me, like the first, in the first 35 minutes absolutely NOTHING happens. Its just talking where the characters involved cross paths until finally one of them gets kidnapped, with not one bit of interesting character development.
Thats enough I can't go on. I never want to think about or see this rubbish ever again. The only people it will appeal to is 14 year old boys and/or incredibly stupid people. The sad thing is I fast-forwarded through half of it and still understood it all as most of the talking parts (which is 98% of the film with 2% horror) is completely unnecessary. This film is boring, there's hardly any horror, the acting is poor and the plot just pathetic. Avoid this film.
Love Actually (2003)
Bowl of mush
Oh dear. This is a horrible film. It follows a number of couples through their struggles with love. Cue cliché after cliché of English romantic views of love that are about 30 years out of date. I thought horrible sentimental crud like this went out of fashion in the 80's. The only thing to make it worse would be having Bon Jovi on the soundtrack! The dialogue seems to be written by College students. On the plus side, the performances are good - the actors should have been given more to work with than a few minutes each at a time which was disappointing. Hugh Grant plays the one role he can do well the same as he did in all his other films. The story lines are just embarrassing and not heartwarming at all unless you're an old widow. The story about Bill Nighy seemingly leaving his mate out is the worst but the one with Martin Freeman is one of the worst ideas I have ever come across. Its not funny and even that gets stretched over the course of the film. The Emma Thompson/Alan Rickman one is the only interesting one but that follows a tired old formula too, as if the writer has no personal experience of love - just what he/she has read/seen. This film, is aimed at weeping housewives with nothing better to do than curl up on the sofa with a box of choccies. Best leave them to it.