hellholehorror Reviews

Godzilla vs. Biollante (1989)

Cool kaiju

[7/10 · 23 June 2024]

This is a direct sequel to the previous film which was a re-sequel in my opinion. Anyway it has a pretty slow start with total nonsense science. The new kaiju is totally awesome, really next level in terms of cool. But also a little gross, not that I minded. There is some great city-destruction, some cheesy music and overall pretty similar to the previous film. I thought it could have done with more of Biollante to make it more awesome. I mean this really does have two great monsters and great monster action and the most ridiculous imaginary science yet, they just kept inventing more and more ridiculous things throughout the film. So it was very entertaining.

The Privilege (2022 TV Movie)

Okay

[5/10 · 20 June 2024]

Much as I didn't get bored, I also wasn't hugely engaged. The film is well made on every level and I really liked the core of the story. I just felt that they could have gone much further and this would have improved the pacing. The ending was a disappointment. The bad guys really seemed to make no effort to hide what they're doing and it was no secret, even though getting caught would have been bad for them. If it had been made in the eighties this would have been so much better, e.g. Society (1989) where they went to the extreme and it was so much more entertaining. It's okay but not worth the effort seeking it out.

The Return of Godzilla (1984)

Best Godzilla action so far

[7/10 · 19 June 2024]

This has a much more modern feel compared to the earlier ones but it's still dated. The special effects are substantially better, so is the cinematography, Godzilla actually looks huge now! The nuclear power plant scene is amazing and so is the city smashing. The opening is really gross, no way it should be a PG rating! This does have a serious tone. Sadly it suffers from a very boring middle section of endless political chatter. The story follows Godzilla (1954) and ignores all other sequels but also ignores that he died in the first film so to me it would have been better as a remake. I loved the life size Godzilla foot prop and the animatronic head. The music is mostly good music. Shame about the middle but easily the best Godzilla action so far.

Divergent (2014)

Watchable but unlikeable

[4/10 · 16 June 2024]

This is very much the same as The Hunger Games (2012) but significantly more forgettable. It has a rich world that is missing vital details to make it feel more understandable. Some of the characters are not especially engaging, some are unlikeable and some are downright obnoxious which makes the film hard to watch. I very much realise that I'm not the target audience but it really feels like a joyless experience overall. The first hour is just setting up one of the factions which we already had explained to us during the film's introduction. All of these dystopian films seem to just split people off into groups, it feels like an unimaginative copy paste genre. When the revolution comes it should have felt epic but instead it feels expected because of this the emotional beats fall very flat. I thought this divergent thing would be like having special powers and not just about their personality. They could have just taken a Myers Briggs test. It's perfectly watchable, just not memorable and the characters are pretty unlikeable. Maybe the sequels will be more interesting especially if they talk more about the world outside their own one.

Atragon (1963)

Basically unwatchable

[2/10 · 15 June 2024]

I'm not actually counting this as a Godzilla film. Unlike Mothra (1961) which should be watched as part of the Godzilla franchise as the story is basically required for Mothra vs. Godzilla (1964) to make sense. This is slow and meandering and I really struggled to follow the story, I didn't have that problem with any other Godzilla film. It has a very serious tone and it's just not fun to watch. There is no kaiju action for over an hour and even when Manda does something it's pathetic. The only good bits are one short city destruction scene and the Atragon ship itself. Skip this, it's not part of the Godzilla story and if it was it would be my least favourite, worse than All Monsters Attack (1969) - at least that had some memorable moments even if it reused loads of footage and was very short.

Source Code (2011)

Quite liked it

[6/10 · 14 June 2024]

I was watching this and all I could think was that I had seen it before. In fact I'm pretty sure I had seen it before. It was that memorable. Anyway I actually quite liked it, let me tell you why. The film had an engaging and interesting start, but then it became less interesting towards the end because it delved into the nonsense science farce too much. Which is my main issue, the science behind the fantastical story is presented as fact but is absolute total nonsense mumbo jumbo which makes every moment of movie science really hard to swallow. Also the first part was a bit frustrating because of how long it takes the main guy to get it. On that note I didn't like Jake Gyllenhaal, he plays the same character which worked perfectly in Donnie Darko (2001) but in everything else nah he's too serious and boring. Well overall I actually enjoyed my experience but it's not consistent enjoyment.

Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975)

Joint favourite of the era

[7/10 · 13 June 2024]

I really enjoyed the end of this era of Godzilla movies. It has everything you want, a new monster, lots of city smashing, crazy/silly looking aliens, giant monsters fighting etc. The music isn't too crazy but you really can't take the film seriously if you want to enjoy it. This is my favourite Godzilla movie along with Destroy All Monsters (1968) which I prefer a tiny bit more. As this is the last of the Showa era I'll add my conclusions of the era - much as they have evolved over 21 years, the format actually feels like a slow evolution and there are so many familiar elements across them all. It is basically people in rubber suits smashing models and fighting awkwardly. They kaiju are shot mostly the same as the real people but with some slow motion to convey scale, occasionally they shoot from a low angle or use various special effects to impose real people. Sometimes the army is involved, sometimes mentioned, often shots are reused across the films. The real people stories are usually science-fiction based and often pretty goofy. Ultimately it is an era of lots of average but entertaining films with a handful of gems and occasional disasters.

The 8th Night (2021)

A little above okay

[6/10 · 11 June 2024]

I enjoyed this film. It had a complex array of character motivations that kept the film interesting even though it was a bit slow at times. The ending is great. It's the personalities that carry the movie. There is an interesting lore and core story. Some of the special effects near the end were a bit unimaginative. It has beautiful cinematography and has excellent sound design. If you fail to engage with the characters then I could see that the film would be boring. This almost feels like a new genre, the spaghetti horror, as it shares similarities with spaghetti western films. Overall I enjoyed it but apart from a handful of moments it's pretty forgettable.

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974)

Average Godzilla

[5/10 · 10 June 2024]

Again with the gore! Why does it have blood spurting, at least make it blue or anything but red, there's just no need. Anyway it's another fun film, there are two new kaiju and that is always appreciated. They are both cool kaiju too, one fast and the other explosive. The human fighting is surprisingly intense but that probably comes slightly because the camera is way too shaky, even too shaky at other times. We had the cockroach aliens, now we have the gorilla aliens. Goriliens we called them. This is the first time that we got a good representation of the scale of a kaiju, the shot showed people wandering around the feet and then slowly tilted up to see the head of the monster. There is a scene that was probably meant to be night but the sky was blue and cloudy which totally confused the intention. There sadly wasn't any city-smashing after the opening battle.

The 5th Wave (2016)

Forgettable and unlikeable

[3/10 · 6 June 2024]

Not only is this generic and forgettable but it also suffers from perplexing and unlikable film making decisions. It's a stereotypical American Hollywood lack of imagination throughout. The lead actress Chloë Grace Moretz can act but does not look like she survived an apocalypse let alone five of them, her hair is just too perfect, plus she looks and acts too old to be a school student. They initially frame it from her perspective but they shift it to anyone's perspective and that is disjointed. There are many plot holes like the first two waves seem pretty pointless compared to the third, only being able to detect t in children makes no sense, how do they have 'intelligence' on these aliens, if the aliens take over human bodies then how do they act like that person, feels like they'd act very differently. And many more, I realise they explain some of this in the film but at the time it really takes you out of the experience. The scene where the army came made my eyes roll so many times, so many issues. I think I rolled my eyes more times than any other film I've seen. Couldn't they think of a better name for the aliens? It's quite slow and largely predictable, it could have been a great 15 minute short. The special effects are only okay. The dark sections are too dark. There is no real conclusion. Don't bother.

Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973)

Jet Jaguar!

[4/10 · 5 June 2024]

The non-kaiju action was pretty entertaining so long as you don't take it seriously but if you've made it this far then you're not taking it seriously. Biggest problem is that there are a noticeable number of reused shots and because of this it randomly switches between day and night during a scene. Some shots were used multiple times within this film too. There is a really cool dam destruction scene though. Jet Jaguar is an interesting new character, certainly feels fresh. There is some violence that is unwelcome that just feels like it shouldn't be in the film. Oddly enough there is a tiny bit of nudity too which really was not necessary!

Death Note (I) (2017)

Loved it, unaware of the original

[9/10 · 4 June 2024]

I'll start by warning you that I haven't seen the original that this is based on, I didn't even realise it was based on something else until the end credits. Maybe that helped my enjoyment. Initially it felt like a darker version of Final Destination (2000) and I quickly realised that it is its own fascinating entity. On a production front everything is perfect because it is well made but also it feels original, at no point did I feel this was copying something. Everything from the amazing sound design and beautiful music with stunning cinematography and production design. The writing is excellent with well drawn and interesting characters that are perfectly acted. The pacing is also excellent with an unpredictable story. Even though this is based on something else, to me it felt very original throughout. This also has one of the best foot chases I've ever seen in a movie. Well, what didn't I like? There was some convenience like how the boy's father was the detective investigating the case and some of the rules in the book felt like they were there for the story. And that's about all I didn't like. This is a perfectly entertaining, engaging and conceptually interesting film. I loved it.

Godzilla vs. Gigan (1972)

Second favourite so far

[7/10 · 3 June 2024]

This has become my second favourite Godzilla movie so far after Destroy All Monsters (1968). There is a lot of city smashing and it goes on for ages which is great. There are also lots of monster fights and we get an awesome new space monster called Gigan! Some of the shots/scenes are repeated from previous films which is a shame but doesn't detract too much. Some people might not even notice. The non-monster scenes have a story and it's engaging. The music is normal, not too crazy. Apart from the stock footage my only gripes are that they didn't give the aliens a cool name like Xiliens or The Kilaaks and we got translations when Godzilla and Anguirus were talking to each other.

The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018)

Forgettable but not bad

[6/10 · 2 June 2024]

Admittedly this is pretty unoriginal but I actually enjoyed it because it has a great tone and atmosphere. It reminded me of The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005) but it's a much more entertaining film. There are some great set-pieces. It's a well-made production. The acting is good. The characters are a bit dull and forgettable. So it's not memorable or bad. I really don't have much to say but it's a good forgettable horror. Honestly it's certainly not bad and there are far worse possession movies, it just suffers before it has nothing especially memorable or different about the film, possession by the numbers.

Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1971)

Cool new monster

[4/10 · 23 May 2024]

This started with a lot of promise. The new monster is pretty cool and it has different evolution stages which also makes it more interesting. There are some truly bizarre moments too. There isn't that much exciting monster action though, the second half of the movie is really slow and repetitive. It's just not as entertaining Destroy All Monsters (1968) by a long shot. There isn't enough city smashing and the second half is boring. Okay so much as I loved the monster, I didn't love the film itself. To some extent at this point in the franchise it does feel a bit like churning films out rather than making them amazing.

The Maze Runner (2014)

Not bad...

[5/10 · 22 May 2024]

This suffers from having a less interesting world than The Hunger Games (2012), less charm than Cube (1997) and far less originality than Dark City (1998). Whilst it is not a bad film it is also nothing special or memorable. The casting, direction, acting and overall production quality are excellent it is let down by slow world building, mostly forgettable characters and an unoriginal story. It's worthy of your time but probably only once and if you have nothing else you want to watch. So feel free to load this onto your television, sit back and watch it as that is the most I can say about it.

All Monsters Attack (1969)

Least favourite

[3/10 · 21 May 2024]

This is easily my least favourite so far and arguably the worst movie of the series. The cheesy music is back but this time it's more annoying and out-of-place and not fun like before. The opening theme tune is pretty funny though. It's a very short film and most of the monster action was in previous films. Even though it's short, it feels slow. The story doesn't really make sense but it's not so silly it's entertaining either. Why on earth is Minilla now able to talk and the same size as a human boy? But he can also get big when he wants. The new fight scenes are pretty bad. I did like Gabara though. And the Home Alone (1990) vibe was fun. Watch for completeness but not for entertainment.

Run (I) (2020)

Didn't hate it

[4/10 · 17 May 2024]

I really didn't like the direction, so many disengaging moments because they weren't believable that really took my out of the experience. It didn't help that it is so slow, so very slow. The acting was good though. I'm sure this could have been a 20 minute segment of an anthology and actually been good but as a full length feature the concept is too stretched. Within each scene the actions are repeated, and then the scenes are repeated, it very much a rinse and repeat movie. It made me think of a cross between Bubble Boy (2001) and Misery (1990). Some of the exterior car driving effects looked fake otherwise the film looked and sounded excellent. The tense scenes don't have much tension, they really felt like they are lacking any actual threat or danger. I didn't hate the movie and I certainly didn't love it, there are some nice ideas and on the whole it's well made. But because it's so slow I'm marking it down to just below average.

Destroy All Monsters (1968)

Favourite so far

[7/10 · 17 May 2024]

This is definitely my favourite Godzilla movie so far. There are a lot of monsters including new ones. Manda might even be my favourite! It has a more serious tone, well when compared to the previous few Godzilla movies anyway. There is some great monster melee action. The city destruction is awesome although there could have been more of it like in other cities eluded to near the start. This is what a Godzilla movie should be about, a semi-serious tone with some ludicrous moments, new monsters, lots of monster melee and plenty of city smashing. It's worth noting that this is the most gory so far but obviously nothing compared to a horror movie.

Creep (I) (2014)

Unoriginal and boring

[2/10 · 16 May 2024]

I really did not like this film for so many reasons. For starters, it is a post-Blair Witch Project (1999) found-footage style film with little imagination or anything to make it stand out from so many similar movies. For seconds, it is not a patch on Creep (2004) which isn't the best film in the first place. The main character is a man-child and that gets really annoying really quickly. I would be embarrassed if he were my dad. The film is boring with bad pacing. The jump-scares are forced in and did not make me jump at all. I really wonder how and why on earth they made a sequel. Towards the end of the film it becomes legitimately stupid. If I had to compare it to anything then it would be The Last Broadcast (1998), but that film is significantly better and more original.

Son of Godzilla (1967)

Silly fun

[6/10 · 15 May 2024]

This is very similar to the previous film, Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (1966). They both have a good pace, set on an Island (so no city smashing) and monster fighting action with inappropriate music. The non-monster story is not quite as ridiculous as Ebirah but the monster story is way more silly. Silliness is fun in these films. Entertaining, similar to previous film and difficult to decide which I prefer between the two. Back to this normal problem of having to add extra characters to a review that has already covered everything that I want to say about the film, stop reading this is not interesting.

The New York Ripper (1982)

Brutal but nothing special

[4/10 · 14 May 2024]

This is not a scary film. It is a gory film. One really brutal scene made me wince so much. It is a little difficult to stomach in places. It didn't really make me jump in any places. I didn't care about the story and the duck noises were really distracting from the seriousness. It was a bit predictable. Nice gore and not the worst movie in the world but still lacking comedy or deep fear or anything other than gore. I don't have much to say about this film which says that it is really nothing special. It's good that the gore is all done practically in a time before CGI gore which is a good time.

A Tale of Two Sisters (2003)

Solid enough

[6/10 · 11 May 2024]

This had really great cinematography. It looked really good. The sound was a bit sparse but was there for just the right amount when it was really needed so the quieter scape actually isn't really a negative. I didn't totally get the story, possibly because I didn't know their names or what they looked like but that didn't spoil my pretty scared viewing pleasure. I guess that's on me for not really paying attention. It did make me jump and it made me jump well. Worth looking at for a solid setup to scare someone! It was a bit slow at the start and sometimes in the middle though. This looked and sounded fantastic. There were really scary bits and a confusing story.

Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (1966)

Favourite so far

[6/10 · 10 May 2024]

This is my favourite Godzilla movie so far and that is because it has the best pacing. It is a ludicrous movie and is so sixties in style that it hurts. It is ridiculous and cheesy fun throughout. The story and character decisions are so unbelievable and unrealistic but that adds to the enjoyment. It's not a film to be taken seriously. Sadly there is no city destruction but you get enough miniatures and monster action that you don't miss it too much. The effects are the best so far which helps. The newly introduced monster, Ebirah, is actually pretty cool. The music is so inappropriate that it is laughable and, again, adds to the entertainment.

Brightburn (2019)

Entertaining enough

[6/10 · 9 May 2024]

I enjoyed this film on the whole. It is incredibly gory and very hard to watch because of this. The super villain thing has been done to death and this doesn't really do much to help that. So that is my main complaint, that the superhero special powers are invading horror and I'm bored of that concept. The characters are pretty dull and forgettable so focussing on them for most of the film seems like a waste of time. What you really want is the chaos that they promise but this never materialises. When there is limited chaos this film is at its most entertaining. Hopefully if they do make a sequel they can fulfil the chaos and make good on this overly long setup.