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Gossip Girl (2021)
Here's the problem
The show is fairly boring compared to the original. Rewatching the original now, what I see is missing from the new one is:
-Brutally lacking in sophistication. They
don't even dress the part of society's
elite. I don't find myself dying to know
what anyone would wear next.
-Having a group of teachers function as
Gossip Girl is implausible.
-This seems to be everyday, angsty teen
problems for the most part, not nearly as
complex as the original.
-The scheming is the subbest of par. Blair
and Chuck would laugh at this child's
play.
I did give it three stars because contrary to what others are saying, I love the cast and don't have a problem with the acting. It's the characters themselves that are dull.
American Horror Stories: Feral (2021)
Convincing performances
Really, I loved the tension between the two main protagonists. The acting was all-around much better than episodes 1-4. I found myself asking, "Is this a good guy or bad guy or what?" through a lot of the episode. The balance of the story leading up to action was great as well. I think the pacing of this was the best so far. You didn't have to wait until the last five minutes to experience anything horrific.
Spoilers ahead...
A lot of people were upset about the ending. What did you think would happen when the kid spent a good chunk of his key, developmental years living as a feral person? He probably felt abandoned by his parents, then subjected to all manner of violence. Did you see his face? He was just GONE. I don't think it could have ended any other way.
Costumes and score on this episode were fantastic, as well as the opening sequence.
The Return (2020)
Not as predictable as I thought, but...
I realize that this was an indie horror film, but the effects were awful no matter how you slice it. I expect effects like that from late 80's/early 90's horror. Not everything has to be CG when you don't have the budget for the good stuff. The lack of creativity there was disheartening.
The acting was the second biggest disappointment. I found the characters unconvincing and Jordan was just a tad cliche over-obnoxious.
Granted, it was just entertaining enough to stick with it until the end. I found it odd that it was assumed that the mother was trying to kill her son because she thought he was his dad. The entity very clearly calls him "Roger" several times. I didn't catch whether he and his father shared the same name, so it was a bit confusing in that regard. And what was with the pinwheel? "Boys don't play with pinwheels." was one of the first lines in the film. Maybe that was thrown in to show that the matriarch of the family favored her daughter over her son, or just to show she was a bit off. I personally never thought that particular plaything was geared toward any sex.
Also, why include creepy dolls and not do anything fun with them?
It's something to watch to kill time, I suppose. It had potential that was, sadly, wasted.
Before I Wake (2016)
Atypical in a Good Way
Before I wake, directed by Mike Flanagan, stars Kate Bosworth, Thomas Jane, and Jason Tremblay. According to an interview on Dread Central, Mike Flanagan thought of the idea for the film while watching his son sleep. He also stated that the movie was difficult to classify, being more of a "fable" or "fairy tale." The film, originally titled, "Somnia," is considered by Flanagan to be part of an unofficial trilogy consisting of Absentia and Oculus, as well.
We meet this genuinely nice couple whose son met his demise in a tragic accident. Jessie works in a hospital, and her husband Mark is an architect. The pair have this massive, beautiful home and they decide to take in a foster child, as they are unable to conceive any more of their own. Here comes Cody, this saccharine-sweet little boy with a love of butterflies, a good heart, and more pain than someone his age should be allowed to carry. The couple soon learn that Cody has a special gift -- the ability to turn his REM sleep into a reality that exists within our waking world.
If you watch this movie, pay close attention. There are subtle, creepy entities hiding in the background sometimes, which add a layer of murk to the atmosphere of this would-be happy home. Flanagan was right about the film being difficult to classify. The effects are so spectacular at times, it feels like fantasy, and the emotional elements are straight-up drama. I do believe that with a story like this, horror is the winner; not by much, but enough to count.
I believe Flanagan created a beautiful film, and I also believe the horror genre needs more films like this. When you think about it, it makes sense. Just as you cannot have light without darkness, you can't have a good horror film with no contrast. This was a delicate balance of three main elements (Horror, Drama, Fantasy) that was executed in a heartwarming way.
The Resort (2021)
Move along, folks. Nothing to see here.
Wasn't expecting much from this film, so can't say it was a letdown. It was a slow crawl with very little scary, apart from the last 15-20 minutes.
It's about a group of four friends who (try to) take a daytrip to a haunted, closed resort in Hawaii. The acting was bad, but not the worst. Can't hold it against them because fear is something few actors can pull off in a believable way.
This would have been a complete waste of time, but some of the effects were downright awesome.
Not recommended, will not watch again.
American Horror Stories: The Naughty List (2021)
I see what they did there
Okay so, yes. The episode was awful. It was supposed to be awful. I love the satirical jabs at YouTubers. I loved the fact that I hated the characters, because you just KNOW they're getting offed later.
It has got to be tricky going from a season-long storyline to a condensed, 38 minute episode. I found myself wondering when the carnage was going to ensue. When the characters are that loathsome, the payoff is usually fantastic. This fell slightly short in that respect. This was partly due to the acting, partly due to time management, I think.
My boyfriend pointed out that the rudest boy in the house was like a version of Logan Paul. I did not know who Logan Paul was while watching the episode, but received a brief education.
THANK YOU, Ryan Murphy! THANK YOU, Brad Falchuk! THANK YOU, Manny Coto! Thank you for making a statement about idiots like this and how people in social media worship them. They worship the stupid. They worship horrible people like Logan Paul, who would disrespectfully exploit someone's death for viewership.
I wish the payoff was greater. I love that blondie's head was at the top of the Christmas tree at the end, but he should have been last, and some suffering might have been okay too.
The Open House (2018)
Just... Why?
The reason this film is so terrible is because of its intrusive rudeness. I absolutely loathed it. I don't know if I've ever watched another film that made me actively angry. Why?
I liked it. I liked the characters, the mother and son had the right amount of tension and isolation from each other after losing the husband/father in the beginning of the film. I was invested in these characters. I was expecting supernatural elements or something. I was expecting the fact that the son was training to run in the Olympics to be foreshadowing. Maybe he could outrun his pursuer?
It's a slow burn through most of the movie. Things disappear from the house, or get misplaced. The house is broken into and vandalized. At this point, I'm thinking, "Where's the vengeful spirit?" Then I start thinking it's going to be another phrogging movie. Man, do those creep me out.
No, no, no. The Open House is none of these things. So at this point, I'm reeled in, and then the perpetrator appears.
Now the movie, in the LAST FIFTEEN MINUTES, becomes torture, literally. These characters do not even remotely deserve what happens to them. Suddenly, the kid is knocked out in the driveway and gets cold water poured on him, but it gets better. The mother is tied to a chair in the house, and the perp decides to break all of her fingers one-by-one, and then it looks like he busts out bolt cutters, or something similar. Now we have Hostel. What a disappointing, sickening way to end a movie.
The kid, who is a runner, is kicked in the rear by the bad guy and told to run, presumably so he can be hunted. He can't run because he's half frozen. WHY INCLUDE THE OLYMPICS TRAINING?
I feel violated by this film. I don't know if that was the intent behind it, but I feel like I should seek therapy after viewing this abomination.
The Unsettling (2019)
It would have been a ten without the plot hole
I went into this series not expecting much, as I have been on a horror bender for the past year or so. Very little frightens me anymore, and this was nearly no exception. The majority of the scares are of the jump variety, and normally I hate that because bad movies and shows tend to lean on them. The Unsettling did not. The last two episodes were heart-pounding for me.
I think the brilliance of the writing is in how they built up the stress so well. I didn't think I could take any more terrible things happening to these kids. I was emotionally and physically done. I had a huge knot in my stomach up until the last episode. Then things started looking up. I love unlikely heroes, and I loved how Dominic evolved almost in a backward way from how his mother seemed. I think Noah Grismer did a fantastic job.
I also need to note that there was some typical teen drama thrown in there, but it was needed to break up such a stressful situation.
I truly admire a good villain, and while they weren't anything special or super original, Fia and Isaac were perfect in that they induced blood-boiling hatred toward them.
For those who are wondering why Sarah killed Silas... I'm pretty sure it was because he kept the facade of being part of New Purity. The only plot hole that was obvious to me, and it's a minor one, was -- What happened to Gran during all the stuff going on at the end? She was nowhere to be seen after the kids left the house with Isaac in pursuit. Where was she when Isaac was impaled and the girls were trapped in the basement? It wasn't super important but left me wondering.
I thought the very ending was a little silly. Why would Sarah hang around after that? She got her revenge. Maybe she just wanted to protect her would-be brothers and sisters. I can't see that as a legitimate setup for the "next season," because there shouldn't be one. It was a long movie with frequent intermissions, and it was, overall, a good time.