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SANFRANFILMFAN
Reviews
Bella (2006)
I Must Have Missed Something...
I'm reading through pages and pages of reviews about what a great movie this is, its message, the beauty and complexity of the tale, the Oscar contention...
I didn't see any of that in "Bella." To me, it looks like an acting exercise for actors who need content for their demo reels. There was no ensemble feel as each actor was sort of off in his or her own direction. As for the message... What message? The writers don't appear to have the courage to make a statement of any kind and leave that decision to the spectators. Judging by many of the reviews on IMDb, most seem to think that Nina's made a "courageous decision." Not sure what decision that would be. All I know is that one second Nina and Jose are saying goodbye to each other on a NYC city street and a few minutes later Jose is with some little girl on a beach and Nina shows up and reveals that she's the girl's mother. The movies spends a lot more resources on how Manny runs his restaurant and how the parents assemble a meal to organize in impromptu fiesta for their unannounced guests than provide any hint at an explanation of the logistics of any decision Nina might have made.
Made me want to watch Steve Martin's "Simple Twist Of Fate" again.
Quantum of Solace (2008)
So Long, Mister Bond. It Was Nice Knowing You.
This movie has the feel of a "paint by numbers" action movie and tries to incorporate all the facile elements of a typical Mission Impossible or a Bourne movie.
But, other than having a central character named James Bond who appears to be able to kill his way out of any situation and brings with him an extensive wardrobe (although you never see him carry a suitcase as he travels all over the world and destroys anything he wears in the ubiquitous action sequences), it contains none of the fun, suspense, gadgets, buildup, romance, humor and intrigue of what I would expect of a typical James Bond movie.
Look at it this way: change the main character's name and all you have is a mediocre action romp lacking continuity and any trace of an interesting plot. The writers introduce the idea of a mega conspiracy as a minor subplot early on, but wait until you find out THAT is.
Kickin' It Old Skool (2007)
Oh My God....!
I wasn't going to write a review but I had to do something when I discovered IMDb has nothing lower than 1 star.
I am absolutely floored by the fact that 455 people gave this movie 10 stars. I can only assume that they were investors who are trying to salvage whatever they can by tricking naive readers into going to see this total disaster. I caught this on cable (nothing else on) and my jaw dropped minutes after it started and I kept watching because I truly could not believe it could get worse. Man, was I wrong! I had seen the previews, thought it had potential and considered seeing in a theater. Pfffew.
The scenes with Maria Menounos are priceless. She absolutely deserves some kind of award for that performance. In the same way IMDb needs to add a zero rating for this specific movie, the Oscars need a brand new category for the role of Jennifer in Kicking It Old Skool. In fact, I've just decided to coin the acronym KIOS and use it whenever I see someone who is acting the way Maria acts in this movie.
I feel sorry for anyone who spent any money watching this movie. And to the 455 investors, your 10 star ratings were totally KIOS.