I work at the Muvico theater in my city so I see all movies for free and I see everything (just about). I saw Alone In The Dark after I'd been a fan of the games for some years and realized the story made no sense and the only thing it had in connection with the game were the characters and names of certain things and places. The movie was crap. That's when I started hearing about Uwe Boll and his video-game-to-movie love. I realized this was going to get only worse. Man was I right. I've never played BloodRayne and now I never plan to. All I knew was she was a vampire (or should I say damphir whatever that crap is?) and she seemed pretty vicious from the cover and ads I'd seen in magazines. Since I'm a video game lover I walked into BloodRayne when I got off work cuz the timing was good and I knew it would be bad but I was a curious cat.
I enter like 10 minutes into the movie and see Michael Madsen (who I kind of like since I saw him in Kill Bill) and some other loser wearing a mullet. Of course they're complaining about some bad guy killing off another race... Then I see Michelle Rodriguez who is dressed like someone of the present when the movie takes place in the 1800's (I think?). Then Ben Kingsley (whom I respectED) wearing a girly wig and makeup. Then Kristana Loken who looks nothing like the character I've seen in mags despite some horrible outfitting and hair color. This movie was so much crap I can't even make fun of it cuz I wouldn't know where to start. I've never seen a movie this bad, honestly. Uwe Boll should be have his blooddrayned (Haha get it?). The only thing I liked was Kristana's sex scene with the mullet man. Uwe Boll must have some serious bucks to have gotten such big stars and some nipple bearrings from Ms. Loken. So see this movie just for that scene if you must, otherwise go watch Hostel. And to believe, Mr. Boll is making 3 or 4 more video game movies... What is this world coming to?
I enter like 10 minutes into the movie and see Michael Madsen (who I kind of like since I saw him in Kill Bill) and some other loser wearing a mullet. Of course they're complaining about some bad guy killing off another race... Then I see Michelle Rodriguez who is dressed like someone of the present when the movie takes place in the 1800's (I think?). Then Ben Kingsley (whom I respectED) wearing a girly wig and makeup. Then Kristana Loken who looks nothing like the character I've seen in mags despite some horrible outfitting and hair color. This movie was so much crap I can't even make fun of it cuz I wouldn't know where to start. I've never seen a movie this bad, honestly. Uwe Boll should be have his blooddrayned (Haha get it?). The only thing I liked was Kristana's sex scene with the mullet man. Uwe Boll must have some serious bucks to have gotten such big stars and some nipple bearrings from Ms. Loken. So see this movie just for that scene if you must, otherwise go watch Hostel. And to believe, Mr. Boll is making 3 or 4 more video game movies... What is this world coming to?
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