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Reviews
American Hustle (2013)
Booooring
I really wanted to go see this movie. I'm not sure I've seen a bad Christian Bale film before, and the 'con' angle interested me hugely. I was expecting high things, and still was until about 30 minutes into the film when I found my eyelids drooping and had to be nudged by my girlfriend to stay awake. It just didn't drag me in. Believable, yes. Interesting - I'm afraid not. It ambles along gently and without any real interest points for the majority of the film. For a while I wondered whether there was a bigger story I was missing, and this kept me occupied for a bit while I tried to work through the possible angles. Unfortunately I couldn't find any. The whole thing was telegraphed every time there was an 'angle' being played, and without the angles it just seemed to be a film about people who'd got in over their heads and didn't know what the hell they were doing.
'Some of this actually happened' states a one liner in the opening credits. This is probably true. People all over the world end up ambling through life with no clue. I've done it, and I'm willing to bet you've done it too. Ask yourself the question "Would that be interesting to make a film about?" My answer is no. If that was enough you could make a film about me writing a whiny review on IMDb. Somehow I doubt it would get great reviews but apparently if you picked great actors, set it in a nostalgic time period and filmed it well it might still have a chance at a Golden Globe. This is all true, it's well filmed and well acted, it just lacks interest and becomes about as interesting as an episode of Big Brother. (Rated a 3 because of the acting and filmography)
Jack the Giant Killer (2013)
I love cheesy movies, but this was downright awful!
Where do I start? Some movies ARE so bad they're good. I love cheesy movies and was in stitches for most of such classics as 'Killer Clowns from Outer Space', Megashark vs Giant Octopus', and 'Robot Jox'. This I did not love. It was annoying. I'm just not entirely sure why this was simply bad and not cheesy.
Awful acting, Awful plot (in fact, practically none), poor casting, poor direction, bad special effects. Actually, they weren't ALL bad - maybe the production was taken over seriously. Nope, that can't be it as it's already been pointed out the costumes and props were from entirely different time periods (CCTV cameras on walls anyone?)
I think it was simply a lack of care about any single part of the filmmaking process. It's like someone just stood in the street, shouted 'Who wants to make a film that's very loosely based on Jack and the Beanstalk', and the least interested people within earshot all inexplicably volunteered.
Don't watch this film (unless you're imminently dying and have nothing better to do when I guess it might actually make your remaining time feel longer)