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joe_nobody99
Reviews
Avatar (2009)
Wow - Riven without the story.
An open note to those who helped make this film:
For God's sake, why won't you Hollywood execs pay for a writer?? It seems like a good plot is harder to come by than unobtanium. For all the time, money, and effort that went into this film, the best you could come up with for a story was 'orphan outsider joins harmonious natives against rainforest bulldozers'? Really? Gee, I've never seen that movie before. Thanks.
Even the much-lauded special effects were disappointing at best. Granted, a lot of work went into making beautiful scenery, but it's nothing that hasn't been seen in video games for over a decade. Where was the wind, the rain, the storms, the extreme temperate zones that all planets have? Even Fantasy Island had bad weather. As for the character animation - again, OK, it was very nice, but Pixar has been doing better, more creative, and ultimately more believable work for 15 years. (In both cases, nothing against the animators, just the material they were given.)
This film is a marvel of marketing and flash-and-glitter, and an unbelievable waste of work and money. And with all the terrific and original stories out there that could be made into great films, this one is nothing less than a shame.
Fortunately, Avatar will be forgotten in a few short years. Unfortunately, those of you who shaped it will never understand why.
Shooting Gallery (2005)
A nice butt does not a good actress make
I can't believe people are saying Roselyn Sanchez was good in this. Granted, with all the things wrong with this film, not much would have made it better, but a competent lead actress might have helped a bit. I know white boys from Iowa that could play a hardcore barrio chica better than her, and as far as being a gambling junkie - gimme a break. She's utterly unbelievable, unsympathetic, unlikable, and her acting is as flat as a railroad track in this film. The rest of the actors' poor performances have been adequately covered elsewhere here - the only worthwhile performance was from Angus Macfadyen as Tenderloin Tony. If you can see it for free, go ahead and watch it as an example of how not to make a film, but by no means pay to see this one.
Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)
You will spit out something for sure (but not a leopard)
Seriously. Do yourself a favor - go watch your friends' vacation video - the acting is better, the plot is better, and it will certainly be more frightening.
There is NOTHING to recommend in this film - not even schlock value, and comparing it to films like "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is an absolute insult to Ed Wood et. all - they meant to do that, Boorman didn't.
I went into this with no expectations (good or bad) and was still let down (to say the least). Wasn't watching it as a 'sequel' - good thing, as there is no cohesive plot whatsoever - it can't even tie into itself, much less another film. And as for the concept that "if you didn't like it, you didn't understand it" goes - please, this movie couldn't have been more spelled out to the viewer. You could wear earmuffs and a blindfold and still not fail to 'understand' it (still wouldn't make it any better though)
The only thing they got even a little bit right in this film was leaving half of it on the cutting floor - the only thing they could have done better would have been tossing the rest of it there (and then burning it maybe, with a priest standing by to make sure it was gone).
A Friday Night Date (2000)
Worst...movie...ever. Seriously.
Bottom line, don't waste your time.
If you must watch it for the car chases as has been suggested, make sure you mute the sound - the inane dialog would make any 6-year-old that has ever owned a Matchbox car cringe, much less anyone that's actually driven a car. In one 10-minute stretch of film, I learned (much to my surprise) that driving a truck on a dirt road will tear up the transmission (aka undercarriage?), that driving it on a paved road will tear up the engine, and that you can tell if a truck chasing you has 4-wheel-drive or not just by looking at the front wheels (odd, my mechanic can't do that). *Note to the writers (ha) & director: next time, ask your stunt drivers to explain a few things to you - you're paying them anyway. In this case, you should have had them do the acting, too - might have been cheaper and couldn't possibly have been any worse.
Anybody, of any age, with any interest in watching this film could write a better one themselves in 1/2 hour or so. If you want to watch a car-chase film, pick another one (any other one). If you like the actors and want to watch them, you won't after this one. If you want to watch a bad movie, there are plenty of them out there, most with at least some 'camp' value - this one has none. However, if you want to be insulted, annoyed, and ripped-off, well, this is is the film for you.