JerlskovFlunkhede Reviews

Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)

Well that was meh...

[3/10 · 23 January 2024]

10-15 years ago you could make a movie with great cgi and no story, and the audience would love it. Today, great cgi is a minimum requirement, it's taken for granted. It's nothing special. That's why you better have a damn good story, great graphics are not awe-inspiring anymore.

Sadly, they forgot to bring the good story in this film. It's just a rehash of Avatar 1 + irrelevant teenage stuff + silly American hero worship + your standard war film. They've created something completely generic, the story has been told a thousand times, and better.

It's sad, really. The Avatar 1 universe is wonderful, they could have created something truly unique - or maybe they should have left it alone.

Fatal Crossing (2023– )

My GOD it's bad!

[1/10 · 20 January 2024]

I wanted to like this, I really did. After 1st episode I thought 'wow this kinda sucks - but perhaps next episode will be better.' It was worse. And episode three was even worse, believe it or not. And then I gave up.

First of all, the actors are stage actors, not screen actors. And it shows, my God how it shows. On stage you deliver the lines in a completely different way than on screen, where the lines and the way they are delivered must sound realistic and natural; believable. I am a native danish speaker and believe me, the lines and the way they are delivered .. well it's so cringe, my toes are completely curled up on themselves and it'll be a while before they straighten out. Frankly I'm shocked. It's embarrassing.

Second, the protagonist is not only played by a bad actress, she is thoroughly unlikable. As a viewer you want her to STFU and behave like a normal person. A protagonist should have a hook, something that draws in the viewer. In this case the protagonist has no redeeming qualities - why would the viewer care about her?

Third, it's completely unbelievable. All of it. The scene that finally made me give up was in part 3, where a woman is holding a shotgun to the head of a suspect, threatening to shoot him and clearly showing signs of being unstable. And they send in a friggin journalist to talk her down! Really!? Somehow the makers of this series thought that would be believable? Jeez, the incompetence..

OK, so the police keep their distance, they don't surround crazy gun lady, they leave it all to A JOURNALIST of all people. Then, after crazy gun lady shoots the suspect (as expected), they finally decide to step in. It's not just a joke, it's an insult to the intelligence of the viewers.

It would NEVER happen. The journalist would NEVER be allowed near crazy gun lady. Gun lady would have been shot as soon as someone had a clear line of sight. You don't show patience when crazy people hold shotguns to other people's heads, they are taken out immediately - even in Denmark. She would have been carried away with a hole in her head.

After this display of extreme stupidity on the part on the makers of the series, I just couldn't watch the rest. I suggest you skip it too.

Deepwater Horizon (2016)

Why the religious BS?

[2/10 · 20 July 2022]

It was OK and then they started praying to some god and talking about how 'it was for a reason' that this one guy was 'saved'.

The people who died were unworthy?

That's simply just too stupid. America you have to chill with the superstition.

Huss (2021– )

Absurd

[1/10 · 18 November 2021]

Another Swedish series about Arabs and their criminal behaviour. Boring, predictable and completely unbelievable.

The protagonist would have lost the job on her first day.

WarGames (1983)

We were actually that close to annihilation

[10/10 · 17 August 2021]

All it took was one misunderstanding, one bumbling idiot in office or one evil genious. Today's young generations probably don't even realize how lucky they are to be alive today.

Beck: Invasionen (2015) Season 5, Episode 3

Are the Swedes really that naive?

[1/10 · 16 August 2021]

Why do Swedish productions always bend over backwards to treat the subject of muslim immigration as if the immigrants are innocent victims? Beck is a decent series but this episode was completely ruined by naive political correctness.

McDonald & Dodds (2020– )

Ruined by miscast lead actress

[1/10 · 2 August 2021]

Tala Gouveia is terrible in this. Too young, too 'angry-teenager-y', way too fake to be believable in that role.

I suspect they tried their best to make a strong female character out of her but she just comes across as a spoiled, self-centered millenial.

And what's with the weird speech impediment? Her inability to pronounce the letter 't' is just silly and annoying.

Midsommar (2019)

Silly

[1/10 · 17 July 2021]

While I love weird films, unconventional approaches and absurdism, this is just silly.

The makers of this film clearly tried way too hard.

Stan & Ollie (2018)

More fiction than fact

[7/10 · 17 January 2021]

The performances are brilliant. But the real events were completely different.

Their European tour was a huge succes from the start. They never played for empty seats.

They (and their families) were close friends in real life. There was no falling out as described in the movie and their wives weren't at odds either.

There was never any talk of Stan playing with another actor after Hardy's heart attack.

These guys were brilliant artists of their time. It's too bad the creators of this movie found it necessary to dream up a fake story about them. They deserve better.

But again: The performances are phenomenal. My rating is based on the performances alone.

Mother Teresa (2003 TV Movie)

Propaganda and lies

[1/10 · 4 January 2021]

The myth of Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu ('Mother Teresa') has been thoroughy debunked. She wasn't a saint at all.

The real Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu was extremely evil, friend of brutal dictators and criminals and she worked to increase the suffering of the sick to 'bring them closer to christ'. (How sick is that?)

The money people donated to her 'charity' was never spent - the paper trail ends at the Vatican Bank, where it's probably still stored.

If this comes as a surprise to you, e few minutes on the internet should help you. Start with Wikipedia, read the terrible truth, read the sources.

There's unfortunately no doubt: She was evil.

Deep Impact (1998)

Religious stupidity

[1/10 · 26 June 2020]

This could have been a decent film if not for the religious idiocy.

Why would men of science call the space ship 'The Messiah'? You are either a rationalist or a believer in woo and superstition. You can't be both. Enlightened, educated people would never choose such an ignorant name.

And the president is a believer and prays to god? Really? The same god who decided to annihilate all life on Earth in a cosmic disaster? That is beyond ignorance.

This superstitious junk is an insult to human intelligence.

Adolf Hitler: The Greatest Story Never Told (2013)

My brain hurts

[1/10 · 30 May 2020]

OK, I gave it a chance...

This is as stupid as it gets. If you believe this piece of low-brow Nazi propaganda you probably believe the Earth is flat, man never went to the Moon and vaccines cause autism. You were probably home schooled too.

In other words: You're probably not very smart.

Captive (II) (2015)

Religious drivel

[1/10 · 6 April 2020]

It started good but soon turned into full-blown religious propaganda, complete with ridiculous jesus-hysteria from professional Christian Oprah Winfrey.

Acting was decent but unfortunately it was ruined by silly superstition. Too bad.

Thin Ice (2020– )

Oh no!

[1/10 · 27 February 2020]

Amateurish dialogue, amateurish sound, completely unrealistic story. This is so bad you just want to scream.

Deserves to be buried under a mile of ice.

Call the Midwife (2012– )

Religious indoctrination

[1/10 · 20 February 2020]

Religious indoctrination disguised as prime time entertainment.

Nuns, monks and other church officials are not and were not good people, we know that much today. In reality, the nuns portrayed in this propaganda series would most likely have been agents of terrible oppression at the time.

By failing to address the massive issues of oppression by the church, this propaganda series is placing itself on the side of evil, of oppression and of indoctrination.

The Brokenwood Mysteries (2014– )

Vocal fry galore

[1/10 · 13 December 2019]

Fern Sutherland is extremely annoying in this. She talks from her throat like a teenager.

She's a little old to behave like a 13-year-old.

DNA (I) (2019– )

Too bad

[2/10 · 30 October 2019]

Interesting story ruined by bad acting

You probably have to know Danish to notice, but most of the lines are delivered by the actors as if they were on a stage in a theater. Bad, stiff, unrealistic dialogue.

The cast is decent, except: 1) Hella Joof's daughter Olivia Joof is terrible. As in really, really embarrassingly terrible. Not amateur-bad. Completely no talent-bad. There's no way she wasn't given the role because of her famous mother. 2) Nicolas Bro is usually a good actor. Something is completely wrong here: He's talking as if it's a Shakespeare play. Theatrical and weird.

BH90210 (2019)

Brilliant satire

[10/10 · 16 August 2019]

If you think this is a reboot of the original series you couldn't be more wrong.

The cast plays fictionalized, over-the-top versions of themselves, satirizing their own (percieved) personas, the industry and the current trend: 'Reeboot everything, squeeze some extra cash out of the old material.'

I guess you could compare it to The Office.

I'm blown away by the creative, intelligent satire. This is comedy gold.

Independence Day (1996)

Too much nationalism

[4/10 · 10 August 2019]

A decent film ruined by too much US-nationalism and naive hero-worship.

Taggart (1983–2010)

No wonder it ended.

[7/10 · 22 June 2019]

Seasons with Mark McManus as Taggart: 10 stars.

After his death: 7 stars.

Final season: 4 stars.

Climate Change: The Facts (2019 TV Movie)

Terrifying

[10/10 · 23 May 2019]

A brilliant documentary, brilliant.

We need to act NOW! No more waiting for new technologies or for politicians to agree who's going to do how much - and then failing to meet their own goals.

ACT. NOW.

The Last Sharknado: It's About Time (2018 TV Movie)

Perfect

[8/10 · 1 May 2019]

I love Ian for making these films.

It's a perfect blend of absurdity and terrible cgi, if you like intentionally bad films, this is the one to watch.

Glass Dolls (2014)

B-movie

[1/10 · 28 April 2019]

Something went completely wrong here.

First of all, it's so S..........L..........O..........W. Slow can be good but here it's just slow for no apparent reason. They should have made a short in stead.

The acting is wooden and uninspired, the actors clearly lack motivation. Or maybe they're just that bad. The constant flirting is unprofessional and annoying.

Also, when you interview a suspect or do an autopsy, you TURN ON THE LIGHT. Doing these things in the dark doesn't make the film Nordic noir-cool, it makes the actors look like complete idiots.

And it makes the audience laugh.

Absolute Deception (2013)

Well, that was bad.

[1/10 · 16 April 2019]

Wow. This is so bad, it's actually quite entertaining.

I feel bad for Cuba. Didn't realize his career as an A-lister was over.

Small Town Killers (2017)

Embarrassing

[1/10 · 23 February 2019]

What happened to Ole Bornedal?

The failure is even worse, considering the four main actors are actually very competent.

Skip this one.