lavendertraveler Reviews

Invitation to Hell (1984 TV Movie)

Invitation to Waste Your Time

[1/10 · 9 July 2023]

I can see faint traces of Poltergeist and Stepford Wives in Invitation to Hell. However the title bares no resemblance to the actual telemovie.

I would think this picture was slapped together to capitalize on the daytime soap opera popularity of Susan Lucci. However rather than launch Lucci into prime time, this dud aborted her career. Lucci's acting could only be described as a lame attempt at camp that failed miserably. Even she cannot keep a straight face while delivering her lines in this lame script.

A five year old could have created better visual effects.

The costumes were straight out of a Halloween bargain sale.

Invitation to Waste your Time would have been a more honest title.

Guest in the House (1944)

Pest In The House

[1/10 · 29 March 2022]

Guest in the House is the most predictable Film Noir of them all. Within the first two minutes you figure out the entire plot, including every twist and turn that is about to unfold. A blind man could see what was coming.

Reviews at the time of release in 1944 blame the stars, Ralph Bellamy and Ann Baxter. Bellamy tried as hard as he could to be a charming leading man, but with that face he was only suited to being a character actor, or second banana. Scorn was also piled atop Ann Baxter, but she was only following the script. It was the written word that betrayed Guest in the House.

The title pretty much reveals the whole premise, the entire movie revolves around Ann Baxter's character coming for a visit.

The one bright spot is Aline MacMahon as Aunt Martha who was nominated for an Academy Award for best supporting actress that same year for her role in Dragon Seed.

Guest In The House was retitled Satan in Skirts, and cut to make it more cohesive, but nothing helped. Not even sinister posters that implied a demonic influence not supported in the movie in any way, shape or form. Ann Baxter wasn't possessed, she was just a pain in the ass.

Guest In The House was released in Latin America as Semilla de Odio, "Seed of Hate" in Spanish.

One thing stuck me as a peculiarity, the song Liebenstraume by Franz Liszt. It played a prominent role in this production, and six years hence in another Hollywood feature starring Ms. Baxter: All About Eve.

There was an animated Elmer Fudd/Daffy Duck spoof of Guest In The House called Pest In The House in 1947.

You can watch Guest In The House on YouTube.

This Was a Woman (1948)

Dog Gone Good

[10/10 · 10 March 2022]

This Was A Woman is a British Film Noir form 1948. The title meekly implies that the main character might once have been a woman, a human being, but soon transformed into an evil hateful conniving witch.

A charming little dog plays an excellent supporting role in the first twenty minutes of This Was A Woman, but wouldn't you guess it, Sylvia was jealous of how much her husband loved his dog.

So when he was out she took the pooch to the vet and asked him to put him down. The vet asked what's wrong with the dog, how long has he been ill? Nothing is wrong with him, he's in perfect health, I just want him killed. How much will that be?

When her husband gets home and looks for his loyal companion and can't find him, he asks his wife if she had seen him. "I had him destroyed" she replied icily. How could he have gotten that ill in such a short while. "He was perfectly healthy, I just wanted him killed so he wouldn't bark anymore." Her husband recoils at his wife's complete disregard for life, and contempt for his happiness.

His hobby is growing roses, prize winning hybrids of his own creation.

Of course Sylvia selfishly cuts off all the irreplaceable blooms for a household floral arrangement, and the husband is of course devastated when he sees years of his hard work destroyed. But he pretty much lumps it for the sake of his marriage and of their two children.

I've never seen any of the all English cast before, but I can't help but imagine Joan Crawford in the lead role as malicious Sylvia. A role similar to Joan's parts in both Harriet Craig (1950), and Queen Bee (1955).

Crawford would have infused the part with infinitely more venom than did homely Sonia Dresdel.

However, Ms. Dresdel does turn up the flames in the final 15 minutes of the film, scorching all those trapped in her malevolent orbit.

I won't give away the grand finale, except to say that Sylvia is appropriately attired in a black dress. A woman doesn't dress in black for a wedding, or baby shower.

It is amazing that Crawford never made a glamorized American full Hollywood treatment remake of this fine European sizzler. The scene with the roses was right out of her playbook.

You can see This Was A Woman on YouTube.

Chicago Syndicate (1955)

Chicago Syndicate really takes off during the last 15 minutes.

[1/10 · 25 February 2022]

Chicago Syndicate is in my opinion a minor Film Noir.

The cast is composed of almost every character actor alive in 1955.

Much of the story is told by leading man Dennis O'Keefe, in a voice over, or while making a phone call. Mostly to make sense of a script that would be hard to follow otherwise.

Chicago Syndicate starts out slowly, I think mainly because of cabaret musical numbers by leading lady Abbe Lane. An actress perhaps better known in Italy where she made more movies than in her native United States. She also had an early television program in Europe.

Abbe Lane was married at the time to Chicago Syndicate supporting actor Xavier Cugat, Spanish born, Cuban raised band leader, chubbier than Desi Arnaz Sr./Ricky Ricardo, and less charismatic.

I thought Cugat's scenes were a total waste of film, best left on the cutting room floor.

Chicago Syndicate doesn't really take off until the last 15 minutes.

Finally, Abbe Lane's acting ability begins to supplant her excessively dominating musical numbers. The rest of the cast also steps up the action in some memorable scenes, especially one in an underground tunnel.

The bad guy gets it in the end, because that's the way movies were in the Eisenhower Era, but his demise on the street in front of his beloved mother's flat was corny and anticlimactic. The atmospheric tunnel scene would have been a better point to conclude Chicago Syndicate.

Abbe Lane's career received a boost when Jackie Gleason told her her outfit was too sexy for television, and asked her to change her clothes for something less revealing to be on his program.

Her singing career also began to ascend in the late 1950s when she collaborated with Tito Puente and his Orchestra on the hit album Be Mine Tonight recorded in the United Kingdom.

Abbe Lane at 90 is one of the last surviving femme fatals of Film Noir.

Across to Singapore (1928)

Powerful Story Line as good as Mildred Pierce.

[10/10 · 19 February 2022]

Across to Singapore is vintage Joan Crawford from 1928. The lead, Ramon Novarro, was the bigger star at the time, and he delivers a wonderful performance packed with boyish charm. It's a strong story, of love and betrayal, as intense as Mildred Pierce. Two brothers vie for the love of one woman, played by Joan Crawford, of course. I'm sure she hated her wardrobe, this must have been before she had wardrobe approval, because she's dressed in frilly Scarlett O'Hara hand me downs throughout the picture.

Across to Singapore features some the best shipboard fight scenes ever filmed.

You might not even recognize a young Joan on the poster.

The only surprise is that Ramon Novarro and Joan Crawford were never asked to remake Across to Singapore as a full color talkie.

You can see Across to Singapore on Youtube. It isn't restored, there are many faded spots, but the continuity is good, I don't think anything is missing. It's accompanied by a simple piano soundtrack.

A Life in the Balance (1955)

The Whole Enchilada

[1/10 · 7 February 2022]

Ricardo Montalban and Anne Bancroft star, but Lee Marvin steals the picture in my opinion.

Marvin plays the villain so expertly that it's hard not to hate him.

He kidnaps a young boy, Paco, son of Ricardo Montalban's character, Antonio.

And becomes obsessed with Paco, dragging him across Mexico City, evading the entire 500 man Mexico City police department, highjacking a city bus which he promptly wrecks, and winding up at the world famous University of Mexico City as the backdrop for the exciting grand finale.

The little boy is also quite effective, much of the movie depends on him, and he doesn't fail to deliver.

Anne Bancroft's character is never given a chance to be fully developed, but she proves her motherly instincts at the very last moment, ignoring her own safety, risking her own life.

Anne Bancroft, Ricardo Montalban, Paco and Lee Marvin are the whole enchilada. The dozens of police officers do a lot of running, and chasing, but are not much more than uniformed props.

The lady who played the woman in the pawnshop was also quite effective.

The crumby title doesn't express the definite Noir thrust of the movie.

Not even close to being one of the best of Film Noir.

The worst part was the speech Ricardo Montalban gave at the conclusion of the picture still in character, as if he had to explain everything we had just seen. Totally anticlimactic.

The Alfred Hitchcock Hour: Triumph (1964) Season 3, Episode 9

Alfred Hitchcock at his worst

[1/10 · 5 July 2020]

Hitchcock's worst production, television or film. A superb actor like Ed Begley delivers the worst performance of his career. I thought that the leading lady, Jeanette Nolan was actually Estelle Getty! I think a lot of Golden Girls fans would make the same mistake. The title makes no sense, Hitchcock's presentation of the episode while not without some humor, was his lamest ever. If this was the pilot episode the series would never have been picked up by the network.

Desk Set (1957)

Fatally Miscast

[1/10 · 11 June 2020]

The biggest problem with Desk Set is the casting of Gig Young as the love interest of Katherine Hepburn! Every time you see the pair become intimate I wanted to vomit, like French kissing your grandmother. This fatal flaw spoils the rest of the film, their relationship is so unrealistic that the suspension of disbelief needed to enjoy the rest of the movie falters. At her age it was best not to cast anyone as her love interest at all, but definitely not Gig Young, not even if he was the last man on earth. Yuck.

Mystery in Mexico (1948)

Mexico Travelog

[1/10 · 12 May 2020]

I would not call this movie Film Noir at all, the period is right, but that's about all that's right about Mystery in Mexico. The soundtrack is nothing but maracas that set the mood for a Mexican vacation, nothing to emphasis the criminal aspect. Most of the reviews here are impressed by the director's later work, which to me is irrelevant. It is only what you see in this film that matters, what a viewer experiences who never heard of the director, or anyone else involved in this pitiful production. The only good performances were by two children, playing a brother and sister, in the last moments of the picture. They were the only actors who took the picture seriously. They were thoroughly believable.

Pine Gap (2018)

Worst Australian Series Ever

[1/10 · 10 August 2019]

The worst Australian series I've ever seen. Definitely not in the same category as Wentworth. The main problem in my opinion is the hardly credible relationship between Australia and the United States portrayed in Pine Gap. True, our countries have an 80 year long binding relationship, but not quite allies as I understand the term. The cast never conveys a feeling for the Intelligence Community as I know it, their attire, dialog and demeanor is too casual, in reality the Intelligence Sector is more formal. Australian audiences might be more interested in happenings in Myanmar and Bangladesh, but American audiences not so much, if at all. South Asia might be in Australia's backyard, but off the radar entirely for Americans.

The Sinner (2017–2021)

Natalie Paul as Heather Novack was totally unconvincing.

[1/10 · 7 August 2019]

I'm surprised at the strong ratings for both first and second seasons. I didn't think Bill Pullman was a convincing lead actor. I thought the premise was good, but the writing was second rate, especially in the second season. I thought Natalie Paul as Heather Novack was totally unconvincing, as if she just walked thru the entire season rather than acted. Many of the less critical supporting actors such as the gentleman who played her father were much better actors. I always felt he loved his daughter, but I never felt any reciprocal emotion from her. If Pullman wanted to help keep Julian with his adoptive mother Vera why didn't he tell Vera to stop acting so damn hostile, and at least pretend like she valued her son more than the commune she put above all else.

Mariachi Gringo (2012)

Counter Cultural-Multi Cultural-Cross Cultural.

[10/10 · 16 April 2019]

What a wonderful movie! It introduced me to Mariachi music. I've never seen any of the actors before, but they all delivered excellent performances, especially Canadian actor Shawn Ashmore in the lead role as the Gringo who moves from thoroughly white bread Kansas to Guadalajara to become not only a Mariachi singer, but to become completely immersed in Mexican culture. I've always enjoyed cross cultural, and counter culture movies, and this one hits a home run!

Of course the blue eyed, blond gringo takes a tremendous risk going to Mexico to take up the most Mexican genre of music, but he succeeds gloriously, and the initially skeptical Mexican audiences are impressed by his sincerity and talent, and thrilled at his success. It is one thing to be born into a culture, quite another to adopt it as your own.

Refreshingly, Ashmore plays a straight man who is comfortable enough within his own sexuality to dance with a gay guy at a gay bar.

Lila Downs is another cross-cultural and multi cultural standout in Gringo Mariachi. One of the few people on earth who sings in English, Spanish, Mayan, Mixtec, Zapotec, Purepecha and Nahautl (Aztec). Downs was born in Oaxaca, Mexico to an American father, and a Mexican mother, and has lived and worked in both countries.

The Fall (I) (2013–2016)

The Lesbian Kiss

[10/10 · 16 April 2019]

The Fall is not like any other television series I've ever seen, its more like one continuous movie. Each episode melds into the next, all the same characters in season one and two in seemingly every episode, rather than the more typical American format of different guest stars in each episode. Gillian Anderson is superb as the lead investigator. Her English accent threw me at first, I know she's American but she puts on a very good impression as a Brit. She's the only American in the choice cast. One scene in the second season knocked me out of my chair. Gillian Anderson's character went to the powder room leaving her female East Indian forensics partner alone in a booth at a bar. When she returned a handsome straight guy was making his moves on her partner, Anderson swooped in and tongue kissed her partner like Lesbian lovers! The guy was holding two margaritas, one for her partner and one for him. Anderson smoothly snatched the drinks from his hands, and thanked him "keep them coming." The stunned Lothario responded "but I'm not the waiter!" To which Anderson cooly responded, "then why are you standing there?" Was it just a clever move to deflate the unwelcome advance, or are they really a Lesbian couple? There is a strong bond between the two women, how strong and deep has yet to be revealed. Absolutely delicious. Stunning Ulster native Jamie Dornan is wonderful as the glamorous, and sexy serial killer. There's plenty of scenes of him almost completely nude. Jamie Dornan and Gillian Anderson share the DVD cover. The editing is totally different than any American program I've ever seen. The series is set in Belfast, Northern Ireland in the United Kingdom, and explores some very dark sexual themes that might unsettle some people. The series is exquisitely filmed with many gorgeous scenes of Ireland as a backdrop. It is shot on location, but I would not have recognized Northern Ireland if I wasn't told that was what I was looking at. The program has nothing to do with the sectarian conflicts we associate with the region. I am tempted to compare The Fall to Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, another program about sex crimes featuring a powerful female lead, but The Fall is so much more sophisticated, and complex that the older series pales in comparison. The Fall delves much more deeply into the criminal psyche, and into the lives of all the players, including the police.

Tiger Orange (2014)

Frankie Valenti is Johnny Hazzard.

[10/10 · 16 April 2019]

Porno star Johnny Hazzard goes mainstream in Tiger Orange. I expected him to fall flat on his handsome face, but I was very pleasantly surprised. Hazzard is a delight to watch throughout. Tiger Orange is not a porno, that is of course the first thought that will cross your mind, and understandably so. It is extremely rare for an erotic entertainer to cross over into clothed features.

There is plenty of skin, but no more sex than any other mainstream feature, less sex than one episode of many foreign televisions shows.

Tiger Orange is the story of two battling gay brothers, Hazzard plays the naughty, slutty, irresponsible, destitute, boyfriend stealing, sexier younger brother. So Hazzard is not playing against type, it might have been better to cast him as the sexually repressed older brother.

I don't know how much of Tiger Orange is improvisation, but it seems like Hazzard's real personality shines through. And he's a winner, the kind of kid brother, or next door neighbor we all fantasize about. A partner who's fun to be around all the time.

And that's the root of the problem in Tiger Orange. Younger brother always outshines dull, responsible, hard working, small town, respectful, plain, stable elder brother. It's a good script, and an engrossing story.

Sure, there's room for improvement, but Tiger Orange holds your attention from start to finish. At the emotional fraternal conclusion you yearn for just a little more. You don't want the ride to be over.

The Slap (2011)

Battles of the Sexes

[10/10 · 15 April 2019]

The Slap is a television series from Australia based on a book of the same name.

I had finished the entire series before I realized that the star, Jonathan LaPaglia, wasn't Anthony LaPaglia. I had noticed the discrepancy in the credits, but I thought it was the same actor, perhaps Anthony Jonathan LaPaglia, billed slightly differently in Australia.

Only after I googled him did I realize Jonathan LaPaglia is the younger virtually identical brother of the more well-known Anthony LaPaglia.

Much of the power of the series rests on LaPaglia's considerable sex appeal as Hector, his relationship with his creole wife, his affair with 17 year-old Connie, and a one sided school boy crush by Connie's best gay friend, 17 year-old Richie.

LaPaglia runs thru the entire series in nothing more than a pair of baggy shorts, an unbuttoned short sleeve shirt, and beach thongs.

"The Slap," occurs in the first episode. Hugo, an out of control toddler gets on every adult's nerves. His parents, Rosey and Gary pay not the slightest attention to their devilish spawn, letting him wreak havoc on everyone within his reach.

Perhaps Damien would have been a better name than Hugo, every parent's worst nightmare. He pulls out flowers planted in someone else's garden, pours potato chips over opened CD cases. Finally, one adult has enough, and slaps Hugo. The slapper was not Hugo's father. I would never even scold someone else's kid, no matter how badly he, or she was behaving. So I certainly wouldn't slap any child. And it was quite a strong slap, but still not rising in my opinion to the level of a criminal offense.

But the kid's slacker mother freaks out, screams child abuse at the top of her lungs, and attacks the slapper. Later criminal charges are filed. The court trial is gripping, the defense paints Hugo's mum as an unfit mother.

The Slap is really just the framework for the series, which is more about interpersonal relationships, about the difficulties of marriage, about sexual betrayal and redemption. The way life really is, not the way it's supposed to be.

You could also see The Slap as a battle of the sexes, because eventually virtually every man in the cast fails in his particular role as husband, son, cousin, father, even father-in-law.

Aside from that men and women pretty much evenly divide on the question about the slap itself, women believing the incident was earth shattering, the men generally wanting to sweep it under the rug and move on. Disagreement about the slap and related issues rips marriages apart, and causes families to pull up stakes and move out of state.

Part of the dialog is in Greek! Because Hector's parents are immigrants from Greece. Sometimes there's subtitles, and sometimes there isn't. But each episode is presented with a voice over narrated introduction to keep you on track.

The Slap's best features are the strong cast, and excellent script beautifully filmed on location. No Los Angeles streets pretending to be Aussie. I don't know if this program is typical of Australian television, but there is more sex per episode than in a whole season of American TV. Just about every man in the cast masturbates at some point. Of course Wally Cleaver also masturbated, but we never saw it! I'm told most men masturbate, but I have never been tempted myself.

What Happened, Miss Simone? (2015)

The Defamation of Nina Simone.

[1/10 · 15 April 2019]

I was shocked by "What Happened, Miss Simone." I loved Nina when I was much younger, I saved up my pittance of an allowance to buy her long playing vinyl record albums. I'm not denying anything in the documentary, it probably all happened, but I think the program concentrated too much on the negative, not enough on what made Nina great in the first place. I don't think she got a fair shake from Netflix. She's long dead, she can't defend herself, she can't speak for herself. Sure, she was troubled. But she was also a major talent, I choose to remember the talent. This program came across like a black version of "Mommie Dearest," or "Let's get Nina." Her daughter, her husband, everyone trashed her memory. Her daughter has every right to speak her mind, tell her side of the story, of course. But like Christina Crawford, her memories are those a child, and children often resent adult decisions a parent has to make, compromises adults must make to navigate rough seas. Nina's voice reflected her suffering, her suffering as a woman in a man's world, as a black person in a white person's world. She never saw the light at the end of the tunnel. She was consumed by racism, and sexism. She seemed even to hate her fans, the basis of her support. The foundation of her financial security. Simone always felt like an outsider in her own country. So much so that she moved to the Republic of Liberia in West Africa, the nation founded by freed slaves from the United States, primarily from what were at one time the Confederate States of the deep south. Critics are lambasting a coming dramatization of Nina's life because her male love interest in the movie was actually gay, so how could he be the love of her life? Hey, it's a movie, not a documentary. Billy Dee Williams played Billie Holiday's love interest in Lady Sings The Blues, a completely fictional character, but a handsome male lead made the movie much more interesting, it made Lady Sings the Blues a love story. That's what Hollywood does best.

Our Paradise (2011)

Notre Paradis/Our Paradise

[10/10 · 15 April 2019]

Wow, Our Paradise! This movie blew me away from the first frame. One of the best gay movies I've ever seen, its strengths include its indisputable realism. The trolls, the johns, the older men are cast and played to perfection. You forget you're seeing actors who may or may not be gay. As a gay man you might be afraid you are seeing embarrassing bits and pieces of your own life exposed on that screen.

Prepare to be shocked. I've never seen such negative gay themes presented so convincingly. Sort of like a gay version of Natural Born Killers on steroids. Death, dismemberment and destruction as entertainment. Yet you can't take your eyes off the handsome but immoral and psychopathic main characters, the street-trash couple (Stephane Rideau as Vassili, and Dimitri Durdaine as Angelo) who wreak havoc on anyone in their destructive path. Their love is so real, so palpable, that you yearn to see them survive the bloody nightmare, le merde, that is their lives.

I only wish I spoke French, the language of this movie. There are English-language subtitles, but however good the captions are, there is just no way to capture every nuance spoken in such a sophisticated language as French. It's the language that gave us such elegant terms as soixante-neuf, menage-a-trois, frottage, mon choi, voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?, and so many more.

Our Paradise is magnificently filmed on location in Paris and elsewhere across France. You feel as if you were standing in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower. I normally don't watch films in a foreign language, but the title fooled me into thinking it was in English (original title: Notre Paradis). One glimpse of the mesmerizing story and I was hooked regardless of language. Available on Netflix.

Eating Out: All You Can Eat (2009)

Mindless Sensual Visual Feast

[10/10 · 15 April 2019]

The first thing that strikes you about Eating Out 3: All You Can Eat is the cast. It's the hottest assembly of twinks and flawless beefcake in cinema history! Yes, they tend to overact, and use sarcasm in place of witty dialogue, but the players are so likable that you tend to overlook minor flaws, and you're swept along with the erotic story.

The inconsequential storyline is virtually irrelevant. Eating Out 3: All You Can Eat is nothing but eye candy, beautiful moving male images to enjoy. Productions values are excellent, editing is sharp, there is no dead space and no wasted time. EO3: AYCE rewards you for your continued viewing.

Blond, slim, boyish, hairless body Daniel Skelton as Casey is the very personification of the term twink. Chris Salvatore as Zack, with his heavy five o'clock shadow and deep-set, deep-blue eyes, is the prototype of young beefcake. Not daddy material quite yet, but someday he'll make a superb transition to the next stage of gay male stereotypes. Frequent Divine costar (Pink Flamingos, Female Trouble) Mink Stole makes a welcome appearance as Aunt Helen.

Who needs Viagra? When you're in the mood for mindless sensual visual stimulation, watch Eating Out 3: All You Can Eat.

Those People (2015)

All this movie needs is a better title.

[10/10 · 15 April 2019]

Do you miss Queer as Folk as much as I do? It really doesn't look like Showtime or Netflix is going to give the popular cable series a new lease on life. We've been waiting 10+ years since Showtime abruptly cancelled the series after only a short five-year run. But the 2015 movie Those People is as close to the series as we're going to get. The dynamic among the three male characters is almost exactly that among the fictional Brian Kinney, Michael Novotny, and Justin "Sunshine" Taylor. If the Queer as Folk cast ever did a reunion movie, they could follow the Those People script virtually verbatim.

You'll do a double take on the cast as well. Handsome, dark-haired, boyishly charming Jonathan Gordon as Charlie is a dead ringer for Hal Sparks as Michael Novotny, while Jason Ralph as Sebastian perfectly captures the essence of Gale Harold as sexy, self-absorbed Brian Kinney. The latter two actors even share first-name surnames, Ralph and Harold!

The movie's setting is New York City, rather than Liberty Avenue in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania, but the relationships and plot are virtually identical. Basically, a shiny new love interest threatens to destroy the old unconsummated best-friends love affair.

There are women in the supporting cast of Those People, but they are not central to the storyline as are Mel and Lyns, the lesbian couple on Queer as Folk. There is no Debbie Novotny, the combination waitress/chief fag-hag and mother figure for comic relief. Those People is more drama, less comedy than Queer as Folk, but just as addictive.

Of course, Those People is enjoyable on its own merits, even if you never saw Queer as Folk. But the comparison is inevitable. Now available on Netflix.

What Happens Next (I) (2011)

What Happens Next Doesn't.

[1/10 · 15 April 2019]

The scenario of What Happens Next is that a good, wealthy, middle-aged and apparently straight confirmed bachelor CEO retires and discovers his inner self, his budding gay inner self. This film would have been a camp riot if it starred Doris Day and the late Rock Hudson, but Jon Lindstorm in the lead just can't pull it off.

He seemed too reserved from start to finish. I never felt his character became alive. He never blossomed, never really relished his new out gay identity, which was the main thrust of the movie. Without that, there is no substance to What Happens Next. You don't care what happens next. The cinematography appears seriously flawed. Lindstorm looked jaundiced throughout the picture, as if he had terminal hepatitis.

Chris Murrah as Lindstorm's love interest was superb, his performance was right on target, tender, enjoyable, believable. Had Murrah been paired with a stronger, more healthy-looking onscreen partner, the result may have been more effective.

I've read other reviews, and they extoll the awards that female lead Wendie Malick has earned, but that doesn't burnish her wholly peripheral performance here, nor does it sharpen the flat script. A movie can only stand on its own merits, and What Happens Next unfortunately fails on all accounts. Don't waste an hour-and-a-half of your life waiting for a payoff that never arrives.

Glitch (2015–2019)

Binge Watching Worthy

[10/10 · 15 April 2019]

Australia keeps churning out quality TV programs, the latest being "Glitch," which has now completed its second season. You would think people have tired of zombies and the undead theme, but "Glitch" is so well-acted and well-presented that you eagerly suspend your disbelief at the ridiculous overall plotline.

The cast is superb, led by Patrick Brammall as policeman James Hayes. He's handsome, manly, cute without being overly pretty, and always extremely believable. Hayes is caught between two wives, one dead but arisen, and a new, live, pregnant wife, who doesn't seem to stay alive very long, either.

The entire series is based on his reality, how he uncovers the many layers of the eerie situation, and the scientific conspiracy that is bedeviling his tiny fictional town of Yaroona, in the state of Victoria. You are always aware that you are not in Kansas anymore with every scene and frame of the action.

I found myself totally engrossed in the Aboriginal struggle of the Land Down Under like never before. I've spent time in Oz, and never felt as close to the native people as I did while watching "Glitch."

I must admit I didn't see the gay twist coming, which made it all the more exciting. One of the formerly dead, arisen from his grave a century after his death during WWI, Sean Keenan as Charlie Thompson, is the stud of the series. He's stunning as he crawls out from his muddy grave butt-naked in a scene very reminiscent of George Romero's "Night of the Living Dead."

Charlie's alive again, but apparently suffering from total blanket amnesia. He doesn't even know his name, or how he died, or even that he's gay, so when his same-sex attraction evidences itself, it surprises not only himself, but the viewer as well. He never comes out quite as far as Priscilla Queen of the Desert, but he reveals that his partner was a fellow soldier he loved in the Great War.

That's just two members of the excellent cast, none of whom I have ever seen before, and you are unlikely to be familiar with them unless you live in Australia or New Zealand. Twelve 45-minute episodes are spread over two seasons now available on Netflix for live streaming. Season One debuted on ABC-TV in America. The second season was produced by Netflix for worldwide distribution. Sean Keenan is the undead stud of the Australian TV series "Glitch."

Columbo: Columbo Goes to College (1990) Season 10, Episode 1

Black Comedy

[10/10 · 30 July 2018]

I loved this episode. No other episode mocked Columbo so mercilessly, I almost expected him to lash out and say he's not as stupid as he looks. The way his main protagonist, the murderer, imitated him was sheer perfection, excellent comedy. Just seeing Columbo stand next to the murderer and his accomplice made Falk look like a tiny misshapen elf by comparison. Robert Culp was also excellent. The way the murderer never felt contrition was of course reminiscent of the Leopold/Loeb case, and the two feature films, Compulsion and Rope, made about the infamous murder. Except that his time the murderers weren't a gay couple that we know of.