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Reviews
Bridesmaids (2011)
3 of the 4 points are for Melissa McCarthy
I'm so, so disappointed. I wasn't that fussed about watching this but all my friends said it was hilarious, so many great reviews etc that in the end I couldn't wait to see it and was really looking forward to it. After renting it on iTunes at the bargain price of £3.49(!), I settled down expecting to enjoy a humorous couple of hours. This didn't happen and I feel cheated.
I've given the film 4/10, three of these points are for Melissa McCarthy who plays Megan and provides all of the decent comedy moments and is possibly the only likable character in the entire film.
The thing with films like this is that you need to like the characters, you need to want to see the downtrodden, unlucky in life and love underdog get their day in the sun and the happy ending. Unfortunately, Annie (Kristen Wiig) was such a bitter, twisted, jealous, vindictive cow that I was hoping more that she'd get hit by a truck. I didn't want to see her get a happy ending, she didn't deserve one. She was vile. I'd usually be laughing my head off in a scene like the one at the bridal shower but because the tone of the film is so nasty (struggling to find a better word but that's just what it is) I was completely stone faced.
I didn't find the bathroom scenes offensive but I don't think they worked well at all and again, failed to make me laugh - I think it was a poor attempt to get a giggle and, again, where I'd be laughing in another film, this just didn't work.
The writing is pretty bad, the dialogue is rubbish. Looks like a lot is improvised which can be brilliant with some actors, not with these. It just drew out an already boring scene and made me realise how damn irritating Kristen Wiig is.
Just a shoddy, hackneyed, poor film. Don't believe the hype!
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
Bad, really bad
I loved the first Pirates, the 2nd was OK, third was bearable, the forth is just bad, bad, bad.
Penelope Cruz was awful in it, so much so I missed Kiera Knightly who I can't stand at the best of times.
I've given it a three just because I love Jack Sparrow's character and liked him in this, I think Johnny Depp plays him brilliantly but did show an element of boredom in Pirates 4. The energy just wasn't there.
There's no plot really, certainly not an interesting one. It's two hours of one sword fight after another. The acting is ridiculous. It's a waste of time. I'm just happy I didn't pay to see it.
My Soul to Take (2010)
It's too late for me but save yourselves!!
OK, so the film is actually still running but rather than watch the rest and then waste even more of my time on this poor sham, I'll write a quick review now. I'm pretty sure nothing amazing is going to happen in the next half hour so I feel it's safe to do so.
Wes Craven, what on Earth were you thinking? I feel embarrassed for you.
The acting is dreadful. Nobody stands out. 'Well the film was bloody terrible, but so-so did very well' - you won't be saying that after watching this.
The characters: Not one likable character in the entire film. There's nobody you want to see champion their way to survival. You don't care that they die or have some knife-wielding maniac chasing them around, in fact, you're pretty sure that if the Ripper doesn't get them, you'd be more than capable of killing them yourself.
The killings are dull. Dull, dull, dull. There's no gore, bit of blood, nothing shocking or what you'd expect from a Craven movie.
The is no humour, again, Craven usually injects a bit of humour into his films, not this time.
Bug, the son of the Ripper, gets too 16 years old in a small town without knowing he's the son of the Ripper - bulls**t
Oh it's just finished, guess what, the ending was utter nonsense as well. Not at all predictable *ahem*
I really wish I could give this a 0 but unfortunately I can't.
Winter's Bone (2010)
Just terrible.
Like another reviewer, I'm not surprised that some critics love this film but it is beyond dire.
I watched this because of all the rave reviews on here and now I feel robbed of my time and my money.
Crackhead father jumps bail putting family home in jeopardy, stroppy teenage daughter knocks on a few doors looking for him, gets told to go away by several people including Uncle Teardrop (really?). Crackhead father's burned out car is found, stroppy teenager knocks on a few more doors, ends up getting a slap for being so nosey. Eventually chops off crackhead father's hand to prove to the bond bloke he's dead so they can keep the house. The end - and it couldn't come soon enough.
The opening line of the song in the trailer is 'Way down in misery' which pretty much sums up this poor excuse of a film. Yes, the scenery is nice but if I want to look at pretty trees for two hours I'll visit the Highlands.
It's depressing, it's dull, it's utter rubbish.
Donkey Punch (2008)
Donkey Punch
OK, so I've just watched this and can't really understand why the ratings have been so poor. It's not brilliant but it's alright, there are definitely far, far, FAR worse films out there.
Basically, three girls go to Majorca for the weekend, meet four blokes and go to their yacht for fun and frolics. Their afternoon of debauchery turns to tragedy when during quite a graphic sex scene one girl, Lisa, is donkey punched resulting in a broken neck and, well, death. Personally I didn't think it was as amazing as some reviews have suggested but I'm not a 15 year old boy who's never seen a pair of boobs or a willy before.
The rest of the film centres around the remaining characters to fight for their survival involving a lot of blood and violence, all scenes I thought were pretty decent.
Don't be put off by the poor reviews on here, it is worthy of a watch. Watch it if only to watch the annoying bloke bleed slowly to death.
Anuvahood (2011)
Light-hearted, quirky fun
I watched Anuvahood this evening and was actually quite impressed. OK, it's not going to win any Oscars, it's not the best plot in the world but I think it was a good effort by all. That said, I do think there is an important message in there somewhere, maybe not if you're a 31 year old 'been there, done that' adult but teenage city kids could learn a lesson or two from it.
Adam Deacon is proving himself a good little actor but I would love to see him in a different type of role before he becomes a one-trick pony and let's not forget it's his directing début, the quality of the direction of Anuvahood I think shows his potential for future projects.
Tyrone (Richie Campbell) was brilliant and provided most of the LOL moments. I was truly laughing hard at a moment involving ketchup. I thought Linda Robson was a perfect choice for K's mum. The cameo choices were genius, most notably Eddie Kadi as the traffic warden.
Good film, not brilliant but I don't think it's intending to be. I'm not sure if people will 'get' it unless they are familiar with this type of culture, I'm a Londoner so used to it but others may struggle to understand the slang and the humour. I hope that's not the case and people will give Anuvahood a go. It's nice to have a film about the gritty realism of London that's not all doom and gloom like the usual offerings.