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1/10
Terrible movie, don't watch it
30 March 2024
Warning: Spoilers
I stumbled across it on Prime, I was bored, so I put it on. Sadly I'm a completionist and needed to see how it ended but I wasted an hour and a half of my life.

The biggest issue was the terrible acting. I think they all need to go back to acting school, it was that bad. This was followed closely by a terrible plot that was so completely unbelievable. The movie wasn't even enjoyable. There were no redeeming qualities about the characters. I didn't even feel sorry for the grandmother. The granddaughter was so rude and disrespectful but got away with everything she did. Just bad!

Oh and don't get me started on the father's acting. Could he have been more robotic and monotone? Every single line lacked no emotion. I found myself laughing most of the time because his lines were so ridiculous. "But Santa doesn't have a pony," was certainly one of the cornier ones.

Save yourself some brain cells and don't watch this terrible movie.
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Love Serenade (1996)
5/10
Mediocre, definitely not funny
10 January 2024
Warning: Spoilers
I grew up in a small Aussie town, so I'm giving this 5 stars based on the nostalgia of small-town life being so well portrayed. It's so accurate, I really loved it. It was also unique, too. Kudos for that. But it's still not enough to give 10 stars.

I'm removing 5 stars because the creepy ex-Brisbane DJ, Ken Sherry, was just...weird. He was a 40-something man exploiting two young, silly girls.

Dimity was only 20 years old and I don't remember her sister's age but she wouldn't be much older. He wasn't at all enticing or likeable, but I guess because he was a big deal in Brisbane they were starstruck. Though I appreciated that they realised he wasn't all that by the end.

But the whole dynamic of their so-called 'relationship' made me uncomfortable as. It wasn't the age difference, it was HIM. He was just creepy and lecherous. He didn't care about those girls at all, he just couldn't keep it in his pants.

Pushing him off the silo was the best thing that could've happened to him. Though I did laugh in the final scene when his body's floating in the water with 'I WUV YOU' printed on a pink helium balloon. The only time I laughed in the whole movie.
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2/10
Waste of time, terrible ending
26 December 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Where do I even start with this hot mess?

With the Obama's included in this film, it was going to be a mess. Their message was loud and clear and 100% in our faces. Yes, yes we get the point. There was no missing it. So to the people saying the haters 'don't get the message', we really do. We just didn't appreciate it being shoved in our faces.

But that doesn't change the fact the movie was just TERRIBLE and unsalvageable. It should be a great cast but there was no on screen chemistry. It was like they were robots repeating their lines. Even Julia Roberts and Kevin Bacon, who I normally love, were both terrible.

What was with the rubbish music? And the story? Wait, there was no story. It was snippets of nothingness. Julie Roberts can't dance and really shouldn't do it on screen again. That was just embarrassing. The random deer randomly appearing sporadically then ganging up on Julia and whatshername (Ruth?) then they just scream and flail their arms around to scare them off.

And the ending...OMG I have no words. It was like they ran out of budget and decided to just release it without a plot and without an ending. And seriously, why did they choose Friends for the daughter to be so addicted to? It's only the worst series ever made.

In a nutshell, it's a terrible movie with no plot, a very unsatisfying ending, and bad characters. Don't waste your time watching it.
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5/10
When a parody tries too hard and takes itself too seriously
26 December 2023
Warning: Spoilers
That's what this series was. A parody, yes, but it took itself too seriously and the so-called 'funny moments' actually weren't funny. It was like it was trying to be a serious parody, which just doesn't work.

I've watched so many parody's and it's clear from the get go it's just that. Usually you laugh at the first scene, but this series didn't do that for me. It led me to believe it was serious but it was so unbelievable, and NOT funny, that I didn't know how to take it.

It wasn't until they revealed the daughter, Elizabeth, was 'murdered and eaten' by a serial killer that I realised it was trying, and failing dismally, to be a parody.

It just wasn't enjoyable and I want the 4 hours of my life back.

One final thing: what's with the ridiculous title?
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5/10
Good for its time but doesn't age well
30 November 2023
I know I would've loved this movie when it came out becuase this was exactly what I was into back then. But I didn't even know it existed until I saw it on Prime Video. I could tell it would be terrible, but I watched it anyway for nostalgia sake if nothing else.

So let's put it this way. It's a good movie for its time of early 2000's when boy bands were still a big deal and these sorts of movies were the rage. That's why I would've loved it because I loved boy bands, and still do.

It reminded me of my own little daydreams when I used to wish some big celebrity would knock me off my feet and fall in love with me.

That's why I'm giving it 5 stars because of the nostalgia and the reminder of a time when life was easier. When you could get little 'squee' moments out of a movie like this. When movies weren't so PC.

However it doesn't age well. At all. Watching it in 2023 definitely made me cringe. The acting is terrible. The songs are corny. There is barely a plot.

But I did love the trip down nostalgia lane, so there you go.
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Criminal Minds (2005– )
7/10
It used to be good
3 April 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I've been watching this from season one and have always loved it. I was devastated when Mandy Patinkin left, but Joe Mantegna grew on me over his first season and I learnt to love him a lot.

But once Shemar Moore left, it went downhill massively. I still sort of enjoyed it but it really wasn't the same. Then Thomas Gibson left and the whole 'feel' of the show was missing. Still enjoyable enough to keep watching, and when season 15 ended, it felt like the show was finally ending. I was hoping it had ended because I really felt it had run its course.

Then season 16 came out. I didn't want to watch it, but I was bored and I thought I'd watch it and now I'm regretting it. It's boring, dull, and they're SWEARING? It's never had swearing before. I'm not against it, I watch shows and movies with swearing, but Criminal Minds never had it until now. Why add it suddenly? Do they think putting EVOLUTION under the title makes it okay?

I'll finish season 16 because I like to finish a series, even if I don't enjoy it, but it's unlikely I'll watch anymore beyond this.
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Dirty Dancing (2017 TV Movie)
1/10
I'm scarred for life
6 September 2017
Warning: Spoilers
One word. Why? Why spoil a perfectly good movie with bad actors and even worse dancers? When I heard they were making a remake, I was determined not to watch it. I love the original too much. However, when it was aired on TV, I couldn't help myself. I needed to see for myself how bad it was because sometimes I like a movie that others don't. Unfortunately I didn't like it at all. In fact, I detested it. I confess I missed the first ten minutes of it but I figured it wouldn't have made a big difference since the movie seemed to follow the original to a tee. And that in itself was a massive problem. Yes they made changes to the story, mainly adding a bit more backstory, however, the movie was a complete and utter rip off of the original without any creativity. If you're going to remake a movie, it has to be better and sometimes that means stepping out of the boundaries. They could have modernised it even. Let's get talking about the dancing. Oh. My. Goodness. It was a complete train wreck. The chemistry between Johnny and Baby was missing. Some people say it picked up toward the end but I didn't see it. They chose the worst actress for Baby. She just couldn't dance to save her life. She was too stiff and had no rhythm whatsoever. And don't get me started on her acting. Atrocious! Johnny, well he was a better dancer but he just wasn't a good actor choice. He was too sleazy. The only decent thing going for him were his abs. The river scene was cringe worthy to say the least. The actress who played baby was very pretty but she was curvy. This isn't a bad thing, don't shoot me down in flames. I loved how she looked BUT she couldn't do the jump properly because her arms and legs weren't straight. She looked like a paralysed crab. Oh my...it was shocking. The love scene was half decent but the only reason why is because they weren't dancing and you didn't see their faces much. What does that tell you? Now comes the kicker. The ending. The last 10-15 minutes were...I have no words. They were literally indescribable. Having the characters singing, well lip syncing more like it, was a big no-no, especially when the parents got involved. The dancing was terrible AGAIN and then to suddenly cut to a few years later where their summer romance had been turned into a stage play was just horrendous. What were they thinking?? Honestly, those last 10-15 minutes I was literally screaming at the TV, I was clutching my hair and covering my eyes. I'm not even exaggerating, my husband will vouch for it. Honestly, do yourselves a favour, DO NOT ever watch this movie, especially if you love the original. A part of me wanted to give it three stars because some of the story was good, the parents problems, I even liked the sister, Lisa and her story, but it wasn't enough to save it. And quite frankly, the ending lost the two extra stars. So sorry, I can't give this more than a one. I feel bad for the actors / actresses who have this on their heads now. *sigh* I'm going to watch the original tonight, just so I can recover.
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10/10
One word...EXCEPTIONAL
14 December 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Firstly, to those complaining about it being another Star Wars movie that involves the Death Star, let me tell you something extremely important. That's the point of the movie!! It's set before the original movie so they're trying to get the plans to the Death Star. Seriously, people shouldn't complain about this stuff without understanding what the movie is about. Secondly, my review. I saw the midnight screening and I was very tired but I still enjoyed every second of it. The characters were well developed and deep. The story was strong and the CGI, while a lot of it, was well done. What I loved is even though there was a hint at romance between the hero and heroine, they didn't overdo it. It was hinted at and that's all. After all, the Star Wars movies are NOT romance movies so you can't overdo it. And you know what else? I'm glad they died. It gives the movie a darkness to it. Absolutely loved it!
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5/10
Mediocre
4 April 2016
Warning: Spoilers
1,000 words is not enough, I have a lot to say. But I guess I have to make do. I wanted to love this movie. It had two of the super heroes I love. But it just didn't make it for me. Five out of ten is generous. Ben Affleck as Batman...I was very dubious. Not only because I dislike Ben as an actor overall, but because the previews didn't portray him in a good light. I was pleasantly surprised though. His portrayal of Bruce Wayne and Batman were great. I'm looking forward to seeing more Batman movies with him playing the part. Henry Cavill as Superman, well I've always thought he was great so no worries. Although his character was a bit 'dark and moody, emo teen' which annoyed me. Overall he was okay though. Not great, but okay. He did better in Man of Steel. Jeremy Irons as Alfred was great too. The movie as a whole was very mediocre. And depressing. Jeez. So depressing. The beginning was weak. Bruce looking at the camera with a look of 'I HATE YOU SUPERMAN' while embracing this kid was just...weird. It held no emotional punch. Then when he entered the rubble, suddenly there was a horse. Yep that's right, a random HORSE. Alrighty then. Whatever. But it did make me laugh. A lot. That was the only time I laughed though. The story lacked emotion, when Superman 'dies', I didn't tear up once. It wasn't sad because this is Superman. He'll come back, he always does. This was clear at the end scene when the camera focused on the coffin and the soil jumped like he had hit the lid. Seriously, who wasn't expecting that? The appearance of Doomsday was wrong. So wrong. He should have come in in a later movie, preferably one when Superman actually dies for good. Like in the comics. And the worst part of the movie? Jessie Eisenberg as Lex Luther. What. The. Hell? Lex was never meant to be insane. Jessie's portrayal was basically The Joker and it didn't work. His acting was terrible, the way he talked was terrible. Everything about him was BAD and he made the movie bad. If they had a better Lex, it might have been a better movie. There wasn't much else that was good. The Batman vs Superman battle was weak. Either Batman had the upper hand or Superman had the upper hand. It was boring. In fact, I found most of the movie boring. The plot was weak, it held no emotional punch and I was sitting there tapping my fingers, waiting for it to get good. So five out of ten is generous. It had enough good parts to say it was half way there.
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In Your Eyes (2014)
5/10
I sort of like it but I sort of don't
30 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Average. That's what I'd rate this movie, hence the 5 stars. I wanted to like it, the idea was great and I love movies like this (for example 'The Lake House'). But throughout the whole story, something felt off. The character of Dylan was great, he was well portrayed and acted. As for the character of Rebecca though, there was no life or emotion. Her dialogue was broken and her character was just...boring. The actor, Zoe Kazan, shouldn't give up her day job. Her acting was atrocious and she really didn't bring the character to life. It was clear from the beginning that her husband, Phillip, was a controlling man, but she never showed much fear or uncertainty around him. It was Dylan who saw who he truly was almost immediately. What really got to me was that Rebecca was never scared of him (or at least didn't appear to be) until he institutionalised her. Then she told Dylan she was terrified. You'd think she would have reacted differently to his controlling ways earlier in their marriage because when she snapped, it would have been believable. You'd be expecting it almost. As it was, it was too sudden. It didn't feel like the right time. Then there was the ending...oh dear lord, the ending. So you talk to a voice in your head, who helps you pick the lock of your room in a mental institution, finally escape (after punching your husband in the nose) then run off with said voice in your head (AKA Dylan, the human form). Did it ever occur to anyone that Rebecca ran off with a convict while she was still married? AFTER he had broken his parole and stolen a car? Or that she broke the law herself? Does this not bother anyone morally? All that aside, the ending was sudden and blah. Something was missing for sure. I wanted to see Dylan sort his life out before saving her. I wanted her to fight her way out of the institution, not act like a damsel in distress. THEN after all that, I would have liked to see her grow a backbone and leave her husband. The movie started so well but alas, it ended in a tangled mess. I'm really disappointed. I know morals are a rarity nowadays and I'd be able to overlook it if many things were done differently.
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Emma (2009)
8/10
One of the better 'Emma' adaptions
30 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Overall this series got most things right. I do have some criticisms though, which is why I can't give it a 10. Firstly, let me just say the movie adaption, where Emma is played by Gwenyth Paltrow was not very good. This series is ten times better by far. However, if they take a few of the actors from the movie and put them into this series, it would have been perfect. Take for example Jeremy Northam. He played a brilliant Mr Knightly in the movie adaption and he would have been perfect in this series. I LOVE Jonny Lee Miller as an actor (his character as Edmund in Mansfield Park was wonderful) but I don't feel he played Mr Knightly well. Overall a great job and I love this series a lot but I wish the casting was a little better. Still, the story does not disappoint and overall the acting was good.
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8/10
A brilliant feel good movie
30 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I'm not sure why people hate this movie. Perhaps it's the romance element between a 30 / 40 something woman and a 70 something man. But why does this matter? When it comes to love, age is just a number. I thought the movie was well acted (Morgan Freeman, as always, did not disappoint) and the story was great. I think what many people miss is the element of a struggling author. And the people that miss it are those who are not authors. As a writer myself, I know what it's like to lose the ability to write a particular story or even character when something associated with it happens. In this movie Monte lost his love of writing when his wife died. If you're not a writer, you will never understand how something as terrible as grief can screw you over. It can either ruin you forever, or for a very long time. Monte was fortunate to find a family who gave him inspiration. A brilliant movie I will most likely watch again. The scenery was beautiful, the kids were great and blossomed throughout the story and everything about it was near perfect. I knocked off a couple of points for some cliché moments, which is pretty much in every romantic movie. Otherwise it was exactly what I needed and highly recommend it.
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Aloha (I) (2015)
3/10
Boring, confusing... *yawn*
23 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I wanted to see this movie when it came out in cinemas but now I'm glad I didn't waste money on it. Thanks Netflix for the free viewing. Now I just regret losing nearly 2 hours of my life on this horrible piece of work. I had high hopes for this movie. There were good actors and the story seemed reasonable...well that's what the trailer portrayed. Sadly it missed the mark on so many levels. People on here have complained about Allison Ng's authenticity but that didn't bother me. People have also complained about the Hawaiian dancing, customs etc. but they didn't bother me either. I thought all of the above were pretty spot on. What bothered me was how disjointed the movie was. How the romance element was missing.The only thing I liked was Tracy making up with her husband. As for Allison and Brian, there was no emotion, no heart tugging, nothing. If they hadn't ended up together in the end, I wouldn't have cared. The main plot was barely a plot. It was boring and stupid. There were way too many subplots too and many of them were never resolved. It was just...blergh. Oh and don't get me started on Bill Murray's character. What was his name? Oh Carson Welch that's right. I had to look it up, it was that uninspiring. At first I was going to say his acting was terrible then I realised it wasn't his acting but it was the script and the movie in general. His character was appalling. Not impressed. So overall the movie is a thumbs down for me. I've given it 3 stars as there were a couple of bits that made me smile. Like when Tracy and her husband make up and when Gracie realises Brian is her father. Otherwise...nope. I confess, I LOVE a nice, feel good romantic movie but this didn't do it for me. At all. Boring, confusing and just down right yawn worthy.
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1/10
Awful! I couldn't even finish it
8 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
So it started off with the terrible, terrible books. It makes authors like myself look like idiots. It was a bad story, it was written terribly, the grammar was that of a 5 year old (actually a 5 year old could probably do better) and it was just terrible overall. Then some idiot decided to make this movie. What the hell were they thinking? I have no words. I refused to pay for it and only watched it on Presto during a free 3 month trial because it was there. The worst 55 minutes of my life, which I'll never get back. I agree with all the other one star reviews. The acting was appalling, the characters were weak, there was no passion or chemistry. Even the first time they had sex, I was bored. B.O.R.E.D. So I switched it off. Never again.
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Cinderella (I) (2015)
10/10
Perfect portrayal of Cinderella!
22 September 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I love the original cartoon of Cinderella and I feel this movie adaption was perfect. The whole point was to bring to life the original cartoon and they did.

As I've read through some of the other reviews, I've noticed one thing all the negative views have in common. They can't accept that good people like Cinderella exist. The 'have courage and be kind' line is not a bad thing. It's sticking to what people ignore. Bible principals. To be kind and love everyone, even your enemies. Not to get angry but to be calm and treat people with respect. There is nothing wrong with that. Yes it may appear that Cinderella is being trampled on but by not retaliating she's proving to be the bigger person.

A really fantastic movie. The step-mother and step-sisters well well acted and I really loved the actor who played Cinderella. Definitely one of my favourite movies of 2015. Stuff what everyone else says, they just don't know how to be kind. All they know is how to be rude. Well, this is a good lesson for all.
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8/10
Perfect
1 February 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I confess...this movie is cheesy, corny and cliché in every possible way. As an author, I should be appalled but you know what? I'm not! I love a good chick flick and this ticks all the boxes. The truth is, if you want a girly movie, you're going to have to put up with clichés. The moment Peter fell onto the tracks, it was clear what was going to happen yet somehow, it made the movie so much more enjoyable. I love the acting of Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman. They both just work so well together. This movie is one I love to sit and watch on a lazy Saturday night when my husband is doing something else. An amazing, feel-good movie that has you grinning like an idiot at the end despite how predictable it is.
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1/10
Absolutely awful
1 February 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I saw this movie in the cinema and it's money I wish I'd saved. It's only now, nearly six years later that I can bring myself to write a review on this shambles of a movie. Firstly let me make one thing clear, if you've never read the Shopaholic books you might enjoy this movie. If you watch it with no prior knowledge of the books it might be enjoyable. I couldn't tell you because I had read every book up to that point. So when I saw the movie I almost cried...and not by how amazing it was. I almost cried because of how insulting it was to the books. The casting was terrible. Not a single actor portrayed the characters properly and the movie left out so many things. It might as well have been a stand alone movie because it was nothing like the book at all. For those who love the Shopaholic books, keep clear of this movie. It will haunt you forever.
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10/10
Probably the best movie out of the three!
30 December 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Firstly let me say this. This movie was AWESOME. Next I'll say this: I've seen a lot of negative reviews and I was shaking my head the entire time. What is it with people? Why is this movie so bad? Yes I have read the book and I loved it. I thought the three movies did well to cover the important bits. Of course, like all movies made from books, certain liberties were taken but to me, the movie wasn't ruined. I will admit the romance between Filly and Tauriel wasn't necessary but it also didn't detract from the movie. It made Filly's death that much more traumatic. There were many things I loved about the movie but what stood out to me most were: 1. I loved was the opening with Smaug attacking Lake Town. Amazing intro, great hook and so graphic. 2. I loved seeing how close Bilbo and Thorin were, even when Thorin was sick. What struck a cord with me is even though Thorin spoke harshly of Bilbo when he confessed about the stone, Bilbo still stayed a loyal friend. Just before Thorin died, I loved that scene they shared. I was bawling my eyes out by that point. It was so well acted and so damn touching. Absolutely amazing. 3. The dwarfs in general were as amazing as the other movies. Overall the movie was fantastic. I love all three Hobbit movies but in my opinion, this was certainly the best. The battle of five armies was well executed and kept you on the edge of your seat. I'm sad the movies have ended but it's nice to have all of Tolkein's middle earth stories on the big screen. As soon as this is out on DVD, I am having a Hobbit / LOTR marathon.
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Doctor Who (1996 TV Movie)
1/10
The worst movie ever... ruins what Doctor Who should be
15 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Doctor Who is a great series, which died a slow and painful death as a result of bad script writing and directors who no longer cared about it. This movie almost resulted in the end of Doctor Who forever. Why you may ask? Well, let me explain.

No offence to you Americans out there, but this is so typically American. And it sucked big time. They picked up a British TV series and tried to do better. Here is a newsflash to all American producers out there... you cannot outdo the British. Especially when it comes to Doctor Who. You just have no idea what you're on about.

When the doctor landed and he was shot I was like, really? Gangs? Guns? Shooting? No, no, no, no, NO! Doctor Who is about aliens fighting with aliens. Oh and don't forget the infamous hospital scene. What is it with Americans and gangs, shooting and hospital scenes?

Then the rest of the movie was just terrible. The acting was bad, the master was a joke and it just wasn't Doctor Who. The only person who made it even slightly good was Paul McGann. He wasn't fantastic but with such a bad script, he didn't have a lot to work with. If he was given half a chance, he could have been good.

So let's just say this... don't watch this. It's terrible and a total waste of time. Watch the original series and the current series but avoid the movie at all costs.
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1/10
Terrible movie, an insult to Jane Austen
30 March 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I wasted 3 hours of my life watching this movie. I don't know where to start, seriously it was so, so bad. If Jane Austen was alive, she would have had a cardiac arrest. Firstly what on earth were they thinking casting Kiera Knightly as Lizzy? She is the worst actor IN THE WORLD and just didn't know Lizzy's character. That's my first complaint. Next it's the story itself. Pride and Prejudice is, personally, one of Jane Austen's best novels. The characters are deep and have real personalities that you can only see if you know the story inside out. This is where all the actors fell flat. They didn't know the characters well enough and they didn't act them well. The movie did the book no justice at all. Not only is the acting atrocious but they miss out vital parts of the story and they change bits of the story that shouldn't be changed. So don't waste your lives people! If you want an honest to goodness adaption of P&P, watch the BBC version. All the actors know their characters and the acting is good.
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3/10
A great story but atrocious acting... a waste of time
30 March 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I read the book when I was in school. John Marsden is a great author and I love, love, LOVE the book. When I heard the movie was coming out I was excited but very dubious. I didn't see it at the cinema because I had a feeling it would be bad and I didn't want to waste my money. Now 2 and a half years later, I've watched it. All I can say is... TERRIBLE! Australia sucks at making movies. I'll explain. You see the movies they make usually have good stories but they're so badly executed you just can't enjoy them. The actors suck balls and they always ruin it. That's the problem with this movie, it's a fantastic and a well thought out story (thanks to John Marsden only as the author, no credit goes to the directors) but the acting is really, really bad. I'm surprised the action scenes and the graphics were quite good but once again, the acting ruined it. They tried to add humour at times but it just didn't work. They should have just given up trying. So sorry to burst the bubbles of anyone who has given this a 10 but seriously it doesn't deserve anything higher than a 3. As it is I feel I'm being generous but I'm giving it a 3 because there were enough good bits to give it that.
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Brave (2012)
10/10
Yet another fantastic animation from Pixar!
26 November 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I cannot believe the amount of negative talk this movie has received. People are sprouting off about it being 'a bad movie' or 'one of Pixar's worst'and it just isn't. In fact I think it is one of their best. All of those bad reviews are just people complaining about the movie being different. For some reason, people want yet another cliché movie. That's what I love about this movie, it's totally different and so very enjoyable.

The animations and graphics were mind blowing and turning the mother into a bear? That was epic! I saw it coming when the brothers got turned into bears but it was awesome. The storyline was great and the best part? It wasn't yet another sappy romantic where boy meets girl and they live happily ever after. I love sappy romantics, don't get me wrong but they've all been done now and it's nice to have a change.

People have complained about the 'nudity' and that it's not suitable for a Pixar movie or not suitable for children. It's just a couple of bare bums, it's totally harmless! And might I add... HILARIOUS! So seriously, it is an awesome movie and I would recommend it to anyone that wants to watch a good animation. Yes everyone has their own opinion and I have mine. ENJOY! :)
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