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tktansey
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Kevin Can F**k Himself: The Grand Victorian (2021)
Idiotic
They're both idiots and they deserve each other.
Do the writers actually believe this is what empowerment looks like? Are we supposed to be supporting Allison or laughing at her?
Whatever point this show thinks it's making...it's not.
Uncanny (2015)
The point being...?
That Matthew Leutwyler's sci-fi chamber piece "Uncanny" was made 3 years before Alex Garland's "Ex Machina" is interesting. That Leutwyler made his film for a fraction of Garland's budget is admirable. That Leutwyler's plot doesn't make a lick of sense is a shame.
Seriously, what was the point?
"Uncanny" and "Ex Machina" share similar story lines: an outsider is invited into the high-security lair of a reclusive genius in order to interact with and evaluate a new form of artificial intelligence. In each case, the outsider and the AI are of different genders and the reclusive genius has an agenda. Predictable consequences ensue. But where "Ex Machina" follows these events to their logical conclusion, "Uncanny" gives up on logic entirely for the sake of a surprise ending that a) isn't much of a surprise and b) negates almost everything that happened over the preceding 80 minutes.
On paper, the movie was probably conceived to be an insightful meditation on what makes humans humane and robots less so. Thrown in for good measure are some thoughts on what can and can't be controlled in sentient beings and whether we as a race are innovating and engineering ourselves right into obsolescence. There's also a bit about masters and servants and which are which. All big, important ideas that Garland's film handles with much more style and intelligence.
Still, it wasn't "Ex Machina" I thought about as I watched the film. What came to mind more was "Frankenstein." The book, not the movie. In the book, there's a relationship between the creator and his creation. They're in this together in the name of science and discovery. But that relationship sours when Dr. Frankenstein rejects the monster to be with his fiancée. I'm paraphrasing here, but that's the gist. "Uncanny" seemed to be moving in a similar direction. Actually, the movie was moving in exactly that direction. There was even the interesting possibility that roles were being reversed.
Then came the final cryptic ten minutes and it all turned out to be a huge waste of time. Adding insult to injury, there's an end-credits scene so nonsensical it's laugh-out-loud funny. Not, I'm guessing, what the filmmakers intended.
"Uncanny" isn't a bad movie, it's a bad story. The cinematography is fine (though the lingering shots of Shiva, the Destroyer, are a bit overly), the acting is adequate (if you don't mind watching Rainn Wilson, in a mercifully short cameo, chew scenery), and events move along at a fairly brisk pace.
It's just that those events simply don't add up when you get to the end.
Note: One question bothered me as I watched both "Uncanny" and "Ex Machina". Why, why, why—if you're going to build a creature and make it both smarter and stronger than yourself—why wouldn't you include an "off" switch?
Patrick (2013)
You've seen this movie before.
Patrick, the coma patient at the center of Mark Hartley's horror/thriller "Patrick", is a lot of things. He's mysterious. He's persistent. He's psychotic. But he's not very clever. The same could be said of the movie.
"Patrick" is an Australian remake of a 1978 Aussie film of the same name. In both movies, the plot revolves around the strange relationship that develops between a young nurse, Kathy, and her comatose patient. Normally, that kind of thing would be pretty one- sided considering that one of the participants can neither communicate nor move. Fortunately in this case, Patrick does manage to 'talk', first by spitting and then later through computers and cell phones, and he's able to get out and about. Not on his own, of course, but with the help of several hapless supporting players he 'possesses' from time to time.
Most of the action takes place in the hospital where Patrick is undergoing experimental treatments to revive accident victims left in a vegetative state. It's not really a hospital, though. We're told it used to be a convent. Given the Gothic architecture, antique electronics, and generally sinister vibe the place gives off – not to mention the large Virgin Mary statue that looms over everything – we can believe it.
Note to self: If ever badly injured and in need of long term care, find a place that's approved by your HMO.
Anywho, strange things start to happen the minute Patrick and Nurse Kathy meet. She senses there's more to her patient than meets the eye and he
well, he pretty much just lies there. Still, the two form a bond. This despite the rules and warnings issued by Matron Cassidy, the senior administrator who makes Nurse Ratched look like a giddy candy striper, and Doctor Roget, who's played by Charles Dance so you just know he's up to no good. The first half of the movie does a fairly good job of keeping things suspenseful as nurse and patient go through their getting-to-know-you phase. Turns out Kathy has a possessive ex- husband and Patrick is a homicidal stalker.
Hey, what couple doesn't have issues?
The second half of the movie is devoted to Patrick's attempts to make Kathy his own and this is where we find out he's kind of a jerk. He can communicate through computer screens and cell phones, but his messages are cryptic at best. He can also control people and things with his mind, but he's not very nice about it. Consider: at one point, Kathy has a suitor and Patrick doesn't like it. So he takes control of the guy's car one night and drives him off a cliff. There are a lot of cliffs in the area, so this is a solid plan. But rather than just kill him, Patrick brings the car to the very edge of the cliff, stops it right at the precipice, then sloooowly sends it over the edge. It's one thing to murder your rival, but do you really need to be a dick about it?
Patrick does that kind of thing a couple more times before the end credits roll. You start to wonder if he couldn't have made life simpler for himself and just done the deeds quickly. It's like those James Bond villains who keep coming up with elaborate and torturous death traps when a simple bullet to the head would have done the trick. Yes, Patrick, it's gnarly to watch people take a needle to the eye or burn their hands on a Foreman Grill, but is that the best way to get the job done?
Of course, these gruesome scenes do serve the purpose of giving our heroine, Kathy, plenty of time to get suspicious, get terrified, and finally get angry. You've seen it all before, many times. It's the way B-horror movies work and why mess with tradition.
American Ultra (2015)
Not "Ultra" Good
"American Ultra" tries very hard to be a good movie. But since it can't decide what kind of movie it wants to be, it misses the mark on all fronts.
For instance, this could have been a good comedy. Jesse Eisenberg plays Mike Howell, a neurotic stoner who spends his days puffing away on an endless supply of joints, drawing cool underground comics, and working as a convenience store clerk. All while trying to work up the nerve to propose to his equally stoned girlfriend (played by Kristen Stewart). It's what he knows and he's happy enough doing it.
What he doesn't know is that he's actually a brainwashed, highly trained, phenomenally deadly CIA asset. One day he gets 'activated' and all hell breaks loose.
The government is out to get him, assassins come out of nowhere, bullets fly, and things explode. Many people die in many inventive ways, most at the hands of poor, confused Jesse Eisenberg. You know how your stoner friend can make a bong out of anything? Eisenberg can use anything to kill a person. If it's handy, it's lethal. Add a supporting cast that includes Topher Grace, John Leguizamo, and Tony Hale and the jokes should write themselves. But director Nima Nourizadeh has his actors take this far-fetched plot far too seriously and what humor there is falls flat.
"American Ultra" could also have been a good action movie. Early on there's a thrilling shoot out that puts you in mind of the famous police station massacre in the original "Terminator". There's another scene later in the movie that reminds you of the department store shoot out in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith". In between, people chase each other, beat each other up, and there's even a drone strike. So there's plenty of action going on. But there's no real momentum to the story. There are good guys and bad guys, but we're never quite sure who is what and therefore the stakes never get as high as they need to be for this to work as an action movie.
Conversely, "American Ultra" could have been a good drama. Eisenberg and Stewart make a very believable couple, as anyone who's seen "Adventureland" can tell you. What's more, their characters here really seem to care about one another. There's a heartfelt scene between the two as they sit observing the clean up after a random car accident. It's honest and poignant and the characters reveal themselves beautifully. Then the movie separates the two for most of the middle section and that connection is lost.
So what we end up with is a mish-mash of styles and stories. Maybe it has something to do with there being too many chefs in the kitchen. Watch the end credits and you'll see that there are 18 different people listed as 'producer'. You'll also notice that four or five different production companies were involved. They say a camel is a horse made by a committee. Maybe that's what happened here.
Still, there are things to like about "American Ultra". Just not enough to make it a good movie of any kind.
Mockingbird (2014)
If not for the plot, this might've been a good movie
The most frustrating thing about "Mockingbird" is how good the first twenty minutes are.
Three video cameras, all in identical bright red boxes with big white bows, are delivered to three different homes. The people who get them, a young woman starting college, a married couple, and a twenty-something loser with a can-do attitude, all assume they've won a contest. There's really no evidence to support this, but honestly, who wouldn't find a way to rationalize keeping an expensive gift left on their doorstep? Each camera also comes with a set of cryptic cards that instruct the recipients to "Keep Filming".
So far, so good. Writer/Director Bryan Bertino does an excellent job of showing us, in a very short time, who these people are and how they live. The dialog is natural and believable and the acting is first rate. We get to know these four people and begin to care what happens to them. Up to this point, it looks like Bertino has found an inventive way to put a fresh spin on the tired found-footage horror movie genre.
Then the plot kicks in and everything goes to hell. Warning: spoilers ahead.
It turns out the cameras can't be turned off. Phone calls start and additional presents arrive. More cryptic cards show up. Phone lines are cut, lights go out, threats are made and pets are killed. And along the way, the characters we've come to like become incredibly stupid.
Of course, you have to expect people in suspense movies to do dumb things. After all, if they didn't there would be no suspense. But the folks in "Mockingbird" don't just do dumb things, they become completely incompetent. For example, the husband character has a gun. As the terrorizing starts, he gets it out of a lock box and loads it. Good man; now he's armed. A moment later, someone begins pounding on his front door. Does he shoot blindly through the door, hoping to kill or wound whoever's on the other side? That would be rash, but not totally uncalled for. Does he shout, "Hey, I've got a gun, back the hell off!"? That would make sense. But no. Apparently forgetting he's got a gun in his hand, the husband stares horrified at the door for a second or two before turning and running away.
And so goes the next forty minutes. In fact, things get so ridiculous so fast that you stop paying attention to what's happening and start wondering about incidental details. Exactly how many people are involved in all this? Where did they get all their props? And who got stuck with the job of inflating all those balloons.
Speaking of balloons, there is one character who stays interesting from beginning to end. It's the loser with the can-do attitude. He has a very funny running monologue that almost (almost
) saves the movie. What he does and what happens to him would have made a great story in itself.
Especially since, by the end of "Mockingbird", you couldn't care less about anyone else.