I kept waiting for the movie to come up to the level of "dull" but it never made it quite that high. I did sit through the whole movie, I guess because I kept waiting for something of interest to happen. It didn't. When it was over I was left with the thought of: huh? What did I just watch?
Exciting? Not by any stretch of any imagination in any universe.
It has some A-list actors but that's about the only draw and they don't really add anything. Well, the cinematography is actually quite superb.
It would have been nice if the sciencey stuff had gotten just a bit of attention. I guess the laws of physics just don't apply.
And the "plot?"
Spoiler Alert (kinda)
I gotta go to Mars to make a phone call to Daffy Daddy at Neptune (because all the payphones on Earth are gone?). Can we have a rest stop at the moon please, and quickly please? Ooh! Road trip!💡Bad idea! Arg matey! Moon pirates!
Ya know, this trip to Mars is getting long and I'm bored. Ooh look! A ship and it's calling our name! Let's go look (maybe they'll have snacks). Bah - the crazy space monkeys done ate all the goodies... and all the people too (here they could have added a kangaroo with a rifle for a touch of realism).
Whew. I'm finally at Neptune but for some of reason the crew didn't like me so I killed them to death. Oh damn. I shouldn't have parked so far away. Oh well I'll rip a skate board off this spinning thing and use it to fend off the miles and miles of rocks to get back to my rocket.
Now, how to get home? Oh I know! I know! I'll sit on a nuke and let it blast me home!
Ok I've landed on earth. Thank goodness a couple of men in black are gonna drag my ass, um, somewhere? I'm hungry. Where's lunch?
I didn't "hate" it; that's way too strong of an emotion. Actually, any emotion is too much emotion. I simply lost two hours of my life.
As mentioned, I watched the whole thing. Shame on me.
Exciting? Not by any stretch of any imagination in any universe.
It has some A-list actors but that's about the only draw and they don't really add anything. Well, the cinematography is actually quite superb.
It would have been nice if the sciencey stuff had gotten just a bit of attention. I guess the laws of physics just don't apply.
And the "plot?"
Spoiler Alert (kinda)
I gotta go to Mars to make a phone call to Daffy Daddy at Neptune (because all the payphones on Earth are gone?). Can we have a rest stop at the moon please, and quickly please? Ooh! Road trip!💡Bad idea! Arg matey! Moon pirates!
Ya know, this trip to Mars is getting long and I'm bored. Ooh look! A ship and it's calling our name! Let's go look (maybe they'll have snacks). Bah - the crazy space monkeys done ate all the goodies... and all the people too (here they could have added a kangaroo with a rifle for a touch of realism).
Whew. I'm finally at Neptune but for some of reason the crew didn't like me so I killed them to death. Oh damn. I shouldn't have parked so far away. Oh well I'll rip a skate board off this spinning thing and use it to fend off the miles and miles of rocks to get back to my rocket.
Now, how to get home? Oh I know! I know! I'll sit on a nuke and let it blast me home!
Ok I've landed on earth. Thank goodness a couple of men in black are gonna drag my ass, um, somewhere? I'm hungry. Where's lunch?
I didn't "hate" it; that's way too strong of an emotion. Actually, any emotion is too much emotion. I simply lost two hours of my life.
As mentioned, I watched the whole thing. Shame on me.
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