pijavica Reviews

Divergent (2014)

If I ever seen a plot hole...

[3/10 · 30 October 2014]

... this movie is winner in that department.

The connection between war, Chicago and factions is completely missing. We are told that forming of factions was the only solution for peace... If the conflict was in the city between city residents, what is the point of the wall around? If it was some outside threat, what is the point in inner city social structure? Wouldn't defense be stronger if defenders were everybody that can, instead just brave/reckless volunteers in black-shirt faction?

Nobody cared to explain how can this system even begin to help bring peace. Nobody cared to explain how people became robots capable of only one trait.

We have those guys with guns, and we don't know how they work? Are they independent? Are they enforcing some laws? Who make the laws?

Why do they leave hobos to stay in city, what do they have to lose if they rebel? Isn't that threat to peace? Doesn't the smart ones see that? But the smart ones would realize that faction system is stupid... Wait, of course, the smart are only capable of being smart, they are incapable of saying the truth... Other ones are the ones which tell the truth. But they are too stupid to know anything... Uhhh, what a conundrum!

What happens to police/military faction members when they grow too old to run everywhere while screaming like little girls, and to jump on rooftops out of moving trains? We know they can't change their mind and become smart, or go farming, so do they conveniently die, or just go to hobo nation? I smell another threat to peace, disgruntled veterans left with nothing...

And the ending... After exposing major conspiracy, and after stupid system should collapse like house of cards, we have our heroes running away just so there could be couple of pointless sequels. I just hate it.

Only reason I gave it 3 stars are two lead actors, I think they did a good job considering the "masterpiece" they had to relay to us.

Furious 6 (2013)

Brainless action with colorful cars, tanks and planes...

[3/10 · 20 July 2013]

I see lots of people here defending this "masterpiece" with the claim that action movie needs only great action. Plot, acting and everything else is just irrelevant. "It's not a documentary." I read in numerous reviews...

To those people I can just say to be careful what they wish. And I wonder why they bother with movies? Why not just watch Wrestling, NASCAR and cartoons? Mix that, ad few explosions, and you have Furious 6...

This is a B movie that won a Jackpot and spend it all on visual effects. And underneath the sparkles it is still B movie with B movie actors, B movie script and shiny, but completely unbelievable action.

Acting is wooden and most actors deliver their lines like they don't believe whats coming out of their mouths. Script is full of plot holes, plain stupidity and attacks on logic. Action scenes are just plain old fist-fighting and marshal arts bore, or elaborate stunts involving various forms of vehicles at high speeds and no considerations for laws of physics at all...

I believe it's possible to make action movies that are not insulting viewers intelligence. But if we keep paying for this crap and saying to producers that crap is what we want, then crap we will continue to get... Sad.

Olympus Has Fallen (2013)

Why always retarded action movies????

[2/10 · 15 July 2013]

I mean, they treat all of us viewers as dumb idiots... If it's SF movie, or fairytale its OK to make your own rules and turn common sense upside down, but here we have action movie that deals with common stuff we all know more or less about. But apparently, we are all stupid and we got it all wrong...

So we have heavily armored presidential limo with stuck door and malfunctioning seat belt after it was in a minor collision. We have big and slow unidentified military aircraft coming over ocean, taking down two modern fighter aircraft, reaching Washington and wreaking havoc. We have only 2 SAM missiles in Washington, and they are incapable of destroying this ancient turboprop cargo plane. Nobody on White House roof have stinger or something like it, of course. And nobody knows what cover means. Nobody in the white house apparently had any military, or police training, they are spewing from inside on the lawn with no regard for their own life and completely oblivious to cover of any kind. Of course, none of them is issued life west, or any long barreled weapon... Those defense cuts are real bitch...

And what stupid plot... Secret service lets bunch of private security guys in WH bunker. They turned out to be the bad guys, take hostage president. That makes him incapable of being president. I didn't catch where is vice president, but he also is incapacitated, so there is possibility he is also in bunker. Way to go secret service... If I was one of them, I wold sue makers of the movie.

And now we have 6-7 hostages, and bad guy is demanding stuff that would mean life's of tens of thousands and more... Quite logical for genius behind this piece of c***. And Cerebrus.... We have special computer for self destructing unintentionally launched nukes???? And it can be assessed only from WH bunker???? And it requires codes of 3 people???? Although president can launch, he needs to call 2 people to self destruct missile???????? And then run to bunker to enter codes?????? If he is not in WH, tough luck....

BTW, it is known fact that nukes does not have self destruct mechanisms, and that is why so much effort is made to make unintentional launch theoretically impossible. As one official put it "if we can self destruct them, there is possibility our enemy could do it". That's why only test missiles have that option. And even if they did, lets all think for a minute how stupid would be if it was possible to self destruct them inside the silo...

In the beginning we have "fast responding team" hauling on trucks on they way to WH... Later when WH is surrounded with troops, and it is possible to sneak to it like they do to save the kid AND we have a man inside AND info on "future weapon" on roof, and NOW we have respond team in helicopters... Yes writer and director, we are all morons to pay for this.

And codes in WH are changed apparently never.

I'm not saying everyone got to be Kubrick and research facts for years, but why do they have to insult us with this kind of stupidity?

Even the special effects were bad, especially shooting down of C-130, and helicopter explosion, like they heard the other "same movie" is out, and didn't have time to finish it... Didn't watch the other one, but people of Hollywood... What the hell happened with your imagination??? Shame on you.

The Holiday (2006)

Overrated movie...

[3/10 · 17 December 2011]

Great cast and good reviews was the reasons for me to try this movie. What a disappointment.

Story is weak, but you kind of expect that in romantic comedy.

First hour is simply awful, long scenes, long monologues, boring, unwatchable... We wouldn't miss a thing if they told same story in 10 minutes. Other half of movie is a bit better, but not much.

I love Cameron Diaz, but her acting in this movie... She had better roles. All of them.

Jack Black is totally unconvincing, man has "serial killer" look even when he laughs (especially when he laughs!!). Who in his right mind would cast him in romantic comedy???

And regarding comedy, I didn't see much (any) of that. For me the only funny thing, and only thing worth watching in this 140minutes long disaster, was 10 seconds long Dustin Hoffman's cameo.

2012 (I) (2009)

Worst movie EVER...

[1/10 · 11 April 2010]

Not kidding, lots of B movies (if not all of them) have better plot and more believable action scenes.

Characters are uninteresting and plane boring. Except those played by Woody Harrelson and Morgan Lily. But that's too little to save this epic piece of...

The plot is a insult. Stupid. If someone just put 5 minutes to it... They couldn't find 300 bucks to pay anyone with high school to write the story when they decided to spend gazillion on CGI... And famous CGI is NOT so realistic, everything has cartoonish feel.

Action scenes... Tom and Jerry and Roadrunner have more consideration for laws of physics and reality than people who made this movie. It would be much more fair if they made just an hour of CGI effects, than trying to package it in this "movie".

I didn't expect to see Schindler's List, and I love action flicks, I watched Independence Day 3 or 4 times, but this one is really disaster.