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Reviews
Jonah Hex (2010)
Did I watch the same movie as the rest of these reviewers?
Having just seen Jonah Hex this weekend, I must say I can't understand how this movie has a 4.2 (as of July 26th, 2010). I just don't get it. I've read some of the comics, and yes, this movie doesn't have much to do with them - but welcome to comic book movie adaptations (when not directed by Zack Snyder).
I think a lot of people are still bitter over the extensive re-shoots and scene-cuts that were done, but in no way does the movie seem 'pieced together,' or anything like that. The pace is even appropriate. And for everyone who's saying things about Megan Fox's acting... have you seen any other Megan Fox movies? You can tell that the part was written specifically for her because she doesn't have very many lines and she shows a lot of skin - and that's why it works. As for Josh Brolin, he did a great job. Only guy that could've beaten him in this role would have been Eastwood in his prime. The supporting actors (John Malcovich, Jeffrey Dean-Morgan, Will Arnet) even did a great job. It even has a pretty cool hard rock/western score by Mastodon.
So, that being said, and the fact that this is a fairly straight-forward, yet entertaining, revenge tale, I'd give it a 7/10. I could see people who don't care about comics, or westerns, or revenge stories - I don't know why those people would go to see this movie, but I digress - giving it a 6/10... or even a 5/10... but 4.2? Seriously? Sherlock Holmes sucked and it has a 7.5. Gimme a break.
Grown Ups (2010)
When has anyone said "I wish I could watch some other family's vacation movies?"
It seems as if Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, Rob Schneider, and David Spade paid a guy to film their summer vacation. Seriously.
The script is extremely tame and family friendly, none of the actors deliver any funny lines (most of the time they're picking on each other with lines as original and funny as the average 'yo momma' joke). So the only reason for going to see this movie that won't make you feel cheated is if you want to know what it would be like to go on a summer vacation with washed-up comedians, a bunch of kids, a racist stereotype (fat, flatulent, black grandmother yelling from a porch through the entire movie), without having to worry about ACTUALLY going on vacation and having any fun.
I give it a 4/10 because of Norm's cameo.
Avatar (2009)
Space-ahontas
This whole movie is just Pocahontas in space. In fact, let's take a look at the plot summaries for the two movies; (Male protagonist) leads a rag-tag band of (soldiers) to the New World to plunder its riches for (Male protagonist's homeland) - or, more precisely, for (Male antagonist), who comes along for the ride. Meanwhile, in this "New World," (Native Chief) has pledged his daughter, (Female protagonist), to be married to the village's greatest warrior. (Female protagonist), however, has other ideas. She has seen a vision... a vision she believes tells her change is coming. Her life does indeed change when the (space)ship lands near her village. Between (Male antagonist), who believes the "savages" are hiding the (rare, valuable substance) he expected to be plentiful, and (Native Chief), who believes these newcomers will destroy their land, (Male protagonist) and (Female protagonist) have a difficult time preventing all-out war, and saving their love for each other.
Granted, it's better than Colin Ferrell's 'The New World,' but why do we need another retelling of Pocahontas?
We don't. But everyone will lap it up anyway.
Inglourious Basterds (2009)
A travesty riding on the (ill-gotten) reputation of a hack-director.
Every movie Quentin Tarantino has made has become progressively worse. I'd like to believe that most people would agree with that statement, but seeing as "Inglourious(sic) Basterds(sic)" has an 8.5/10 from over 100,000 ratings, it doesn't seem like the general movie-going public has any sense. Even his best work, Reservoir Dogs, wasn't a 'masterpiece.' The trouble is that claiming that you like Tarantino's work has become trendy. As soon as that happens, you get boatloads of people ready and willing to hop on another bandwagon. They will ignore laughably terrible acting, and utterly self-indulgent writing just so they can be part of the exclusive club called "everyone." This movie is so terrible, that I swear it must be some sort of twisted joke by Tarantino to see how much torture his fans will tolerate and still praise him. Like another reviewer has already said: "Previous Tarantino movies were from a guy in love with other movies. This one is from a guy in love with his own writing." I couldn't agree more. This movie is nothing more than self-indulgent and in-joke riddled writing paired with acting ability taken right out of a high school play. But, thanks to the general movie going public, I'm sure it will still go down as one of the best movies ever made. Bravo, Tarantino. You've pulled-off one of the best practical jokes of all time.