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abbylee519
Reviews
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
What a lame movie
First off, I must swim against the tide and say I was not incredibly impressed with the original. I wasn't scared, and thought the last half hour was boring and repetitive, and the heroine's constant shrieking wore on my nerves.
I went to see this movie hoping I would at least be scared by it, and the trailer looked pretty good. It started out pretty decent, and I think the female survivor hitchhiker was much cooler than the original male hitchhiker who was part of Leatherface's clan.
However, soon it got so boring, with constant chase scenes and screaming, and looking at everyone's runny nose got kind of disgusting. While I will admit to jumping several times, that doesn't really mean anything--anyone can make a movie where they startle the hell out of the audience. My 5 year old nephew can do that. Make a movie that really scares me and makes me afraid to fall asleep, not just jump once or twice then roll my eyes at myself.
The only part I really liked (which was missing from the original and a great addition, very creepy) was the scene where Jessica Biel takes refuge in the trailer. Wow, that thinner one was scary looking. That was the only scene where I was really freaked out and filled with dread.
After that, unfortunately, was just chase scene after chase scene. Jessica narrowly escapes from the basement. Then she narrowly escapes from the old abandoned house. Then she barely escapes from the meat place. Then she narrowly escapes into the truck. Then she narrowly escapes the evil sheriff and drives off. And of course, there has to be one last time Leatherface jumps out at her. Keep in mind, this is the last half hour of the movie. Nothing but one escape after another. I was almost in tears I was so bored.
I would give this film a 3 out of 10, and that's generous.
Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991)
Great Movie (Possible spoilers)
I loved this movie, even now, 10 years later, I think it's great.
The movie starts with the main character, Sue Ellen crowing to her friends about how she's going to be on her own this summer, because her mother is going on a 2 month vacation, but to her surprise, the mother does not trust her 17 year old daughter to be in charge for 2 months, and hires a babysitter, who turns out to be an evil 80 year old nazi, and the kids immediately despise her.
Lucky for them, she dies fairly soon, and they pretty much drag her body to a funeral home, ring the doorbell and run. No, that's not incredibly plausible. But good lord, it's a kids comedy. There's going to be some stretches in there.
Anyway, so the kids are broke, and Sue Ellen decides to get a job. She gets a job at a fast food restaurant, but decides she needs a more mature job, so she makes up a fake resume, and applies for a receptionist job (which for a 17 year old, isn't such a stretch), however, before she can apply for it she bonds with one of the big wigs at the company, and this big wig makes her an assistant. Some people commenting here forgot that 1. She was NOT an executive, she was an assistant, and 2. She didn't do that great of a job, they never actually showed her working. She was hired and kept on because her boss adored her, not because she was some sort of secretarial prodigy.
This movie obviously could never happen, but hello, could Home Alone actually happen either? I can't believe people take these comedies and complain about how unrealistic it was. This movie's objective was to entertain, not make any sort of political statement.
Anyway, it was fun, it had a cute ending, and I thought Christina Applegate did a swell job acting in this one.
Anderusen dôwa ningyo-hime (1975)
A good movie
When I first saw this movie, I hated it. I was outraged by how the Prince chose someone else over her (the mermaid rescued the Prince from drowning, but ducked away when she saw the other human girl coming, and the other girl sat with him until he fully regained consciousness). He assumed that girl saved his life, and she apparently never had the grace to admit that someone else had done the dirty work of hauling him out of the ocean--she just happened to be hanging out sunbathing, waiting for him to wake up.
So, I was pretty mad at this movie, but then I read the Hans Christian Andersen story years later, when I'd experienced my own first love and loss. I gained a new appreciation for this movie, as it depicts a desperate love, and this mermaid is willing to give up everything to be close to him. The only thing that sucks is that the object of her obsession truly does not deserve it, and the chick he chooses over her does not deserve his love either; he fell in love with her only because he thought she had saved him, but the mermaid was unable to tell him that.
It's sad, and frustrating, but still a good movie overall.
The Wizard (1989)
One of my favorite movies
The basic plot of this movie involves video games, and a video competition, but unlike other viewers, I don't think that's what this movie is about.
This movie starts with a disturbed 10 year, old (Jimmy)running away from home, intent on walking to California. He is put into a place for troubled children, and his older half brother (Fred Savage) helps him sneak out and wants to help him get to California. He's angry at his dad for allowing them to put Jimmy away, and angry at his older brother, Christian Slater, who he blames for his half sister's death (Jimmy's twin sister died on a family vacation when CS was supposed to be watching her, and Jimmy has been troubled ever since). The only reason they even play video games along the way is that they need money to fund their trip, and are using Jimmy's talent to hustle for money, and want to win the competition to get money.
This movie is truly more centered on why Jimmy is so traumatized, and what exactly is in California that he so desperately wants. It turns out he only wants to return to the place him and Jennifer (his sister) had last been together, and honor her memory. It makes me teary just thinking about it.
The movie itself is entertaining as well as sad, and I would recommend it to anyone. They do spend a lot of the movie discussing video games, which would be boring to anyone not into them, but that's not what the movie is about. It's about the complications of a mixed family, losing a loved one, and finding yourself and your peace with others.
Jeepers Creepers (2001)
This movie COUlD have been so good...possible spoilers
This movie could have been awesome...it started out really well. The part where they're cruising along and we see a truck speeding up behind them is downright scary for anyone who's ever been rear ended in traffic--and seen it coming- before. And the part where they drive by and see the villian dumping a body into an old pipe, then see that the killer knows what they saw and is now following them is about the creepiest part of the movie. This movie also utilizes the old deserted highway trick and the redneck hillbilly crowd that offer no comfort to the 2 kids. However, this movie quickly becomes a cliche--the boy insists that they go back to the pipe and see if the person thrown into the pipe is still alive. Well, if this is a serious attempt to scare, it's not excusable anymore, because 80s movies have long since been called on about how stupid that is, and if they were trying to make fun of themselves and the old horror movies, that's been done like a 1000 times over the last 5 years, and it's getting old. But I digress. Anyway, despite the stupid reason they go back (I think the writers could have come up with a better reason to return then the old lets-investigate-a-very-dangerous-situation), when the boy falls into a pipe it is, indeed, very creepy. We see what kind of freak the villian is, he kills people, cuts them up, and sews them back together. This is initially, an extremely good first 30 minutes of film.
But, it quickly goes downhill. The writers screwed up royally when they made the killer not a human, but some kind of huge bird that's only allowed to eat every 23 years. That in itself is stupid. Why doesn't anyone make that connection? Why do they all just hang out when it's commom knowledge that this man-bird exists? And why 23 years? It's like the writers just stuck that in there for fun. Anyway, once the audience realizes that it's a BIRD that is the villian, the movie loses its scary value. I happen to think that a psycho human is 1000 times more scary than even the most evil and ugly of monsters or aliens. This movie would have been greatly improved if they had made the killer human, in a Michael Myers sort of way.
This movie seems like someone's nightmare after watching a lot of horror movies and eating onion rings and drinking straight shots of vodka for several hours. It wouldn't surprise me if someone had this trippy dream, woke up and wrote it down, then made a movie about it.
Summer Catch (2001)
Poor Jessica Biel
This is one of those movies, like Center Stage, where you have to see the PREVIEWS, only once, and you'll know how the entire movie will go. I remember reading this article where JB was complaining that the only reason she hadn't gotten Mena Suvari's part in American Beauty was because she had a "nice girl" reputation from 7th Heaven, and the producers or directors or whoever was turned off by that. Yes, Jessica, keep telling yourself that. And in the meantime, grab ahold of whatever crappy role is actually offered to you, overact the hell out of it and say that proves your point.
Which is clearly what she did. I don't know where FP Jr. wants his career to go, but he better stay away from these types of movies or he's never going to be able to do anything else. It may be too late already. I would like to say that while he is in no way Oscar material, I've usually enjoyed his performances. However, he really needs to start actually finding out what the movie is about before he signs onto it. By the way, am I the only one who thinks that his "romance" with Sarah Michelle Gellar is a total lie?
Amd Matthew Lillard does in this movie what he always does--provide some much needed comic relief. I like that guy. But, with the exception of Scream, it would appear that no one wants to put him in a movie unless they can put FPJ in it...which is odd to me, cause ML is the better actor of the 2, in my opinion.
I didn't say much about the movie because anyone who has heard of this movie, whether they've seen it or not, knows the entire story.
5/10, and I'm being generous...just thankful that Tenley Parrish was not played by Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Final Vendetta (1996)
The twist was good--Spoilers
This movie is pretty much like any other thriller/drama...a pretty woman shows up and wreaks havoc on an unsuspecting family. However, this was a lot better than Poison Ivy or the Hand That Rocks the Cradle because the reason the main character (Bridgette Wilson) hates the family is rather compelling. It appears that the husband as a teenager was involved in a car accident that killed Bridgette's parents. After they were killed, she was forced to live with a family where her foster dad was a pervert and repeatedly raped the girl (When she was somewhere between 12 and 15) and impregnated her, then she miscarried. Her anger is directed not only at her foster dad (who she kills as a teen), but at the man she feels is responsible for placing her in that situation--the other driver. This twist is about the only good thing in this slow movie--instead of showing her wandering around acting psychotic, they should have done more with this.
Time Served (1999)
Sort of disturbing
Admittedly, my boyfriend and I did not rent this movie because we thought it would be oscar material. However, this movie is flawed because the director or screenwriter tried to combine a legitimate drama (inspired by a true story) with a T&A movie. This formula does not work because there is too much nudity for it to be taken seriously, but too many disturbing events (Like Sarah's rape, and her crying while dancing on the pole) for it to be an enjoyable T&A film. I would consider this movie a "Showgirls- Lite" --and that's not a good thing.
Showgirls (1995)
Not what others think (possible spoilers)
Of course this movie had a limited plot and second rate acting- who here actually thought that a movie titled "Showgirls" featuring a naked woman on the video cover was going to win any Oscars? I didn't find this movie to be that bad, until the end. Or more accurately, the graphic rape scene that victimized the nicest character in the movie- actually, the only nice character in the movie. I had lost the VCR remote control, and was forced to watch (and hear) the scene until I could reach the VCR and fast forward manually...and that is a scene that stuck with me for awhile. I believe that one scene was one of the most disturbing I've ever seen...which was followed by a frustrating realization for Elizabeth Berkley that her friend's sick attackers would never be brought to justice. I really think that the screenwriters and/or director could have toned that one down--it's impossible to enjoy the movie if you know that's coming up.
Flowers in the Attic (1987)
This movie is awful! (Possible spoilers)
They used the basic concept of the book- 4 children are locked away in the attic and their mother grows more and more selfish and greedy and eventually abandons them, and they are treated cruelly by their grandmother. Also, both the book and the movie are very disturbing, so they got that right.
However, after that, there are many discrepancies. First off, almost every main character except for the grandmother is miscast. The actress who played the grandmother could have been the inspiration for the character in the novel; she was excellent. However, the mother, Corrine, Cathy, and Chris could have all been played by different actors to make the movie more plausible. The actress who played the mother was neither attractive nor charismatic-2 things necessary to understand the feelings her children have towards her. Kristy Swanson did okay, but to put it kindly, she makes a much better Buffy the Vampire Slayer than a character from a V.C. Andrews novel. The actor who plays Chris matches the physical description of the novel character, but is too stiff and humorless. I think better casted actors would have improved this movie, but then again, I only saw this movie cause I liked Buffy the Vampire Slayer-with Kristy Swanson. And then, a lot is missing from the novel. Not just certain events or dialouge, but some of the major themes. Some of the most haunting concepts about this book (and the whole series) is Chris's obsessive love for Cathy, the grandmother's bitter jealousy of her daughter and her young grand daughter, and Cathy's obsession with measuring up to her mother is all unmentioned in this movie. We don't understand why the Grandmother hates the mother and children so much. We learn later that the mother and her half brother(the children's father, who's mother was raped by the grandmother's husband, which consequently produced Corrine) fell in love when they were young (and both living with Corrine's parents) and abandoned the grandmother. She saw the 2 of them falling in love as a betrayal to her, as did Corrine's father(who was secretly in love with his daughter) and swore she would never love them or their offspring again. She refuses to love her grandchildren cause she doesn't want to be hurt by them.
I was especially disappointed with the way they left out Chris's unbrotherly love for Cathy and the rape. Yes, it's kind of icky. But it's what makes V.C. Andrews' novels stand out. Chris doesn't declare his love for Cathy or rape her until the end of the novel, but you can see it building up to that throughout the novel-one thing that I think captivates the readers. I know a movie can't transcribe everything a novel does, but this was a very poor adaptation. After such an impressive novel, it was a disppointment.