lostflix Reviews

Death Screams (1982)

Really bad slasher flick that lacks anything noteworthy

[4/10 · 31 October 2019]

This film feels like someone took three or four more well known slasher flicks and tried to copy & paste scenes from each one to make one master film. The problem is the quality and acting is so sub par, not to mention the cinematography and writing. The music is absolutely horrible and does not go with the film at all. It really feels like this film had no QA department or anyone guiding the director and editor in a cohesive path.

Mortuary (1982)

Rollerskaters are in for a treat

[5/10 · 31 October 2019]

The movie itself was really quirky and slow... but it's definitely worth the watch to see what a young Bill Paxton does with the material. The most nostalgic thing however about this old film (credits say 1981) is that there are a few scenes from a roller rink named Skating Plus. Just for giggles after the film I happened to google it to see if any old photos existed. Turns out the rink is still in business and is in Ventura. They have FB & IG as well. What is bizarre is that there is no mention of the rink in the credits even though a lot of footage was shot there. Really cool to see the dated lingo and outfits of the early 80s too. Definitely worth a watch.

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

We left the theater. It was that bad. (Spoilers)

[2/10 · 10 August 2014]

The first five minutes of Guardians of the Galaxy is a hook and gets your teeth sunk in for what looks like a fun, creative, and quirky ride. Then after 10-15 minutes went by I couldn't help but feel I've seen this EXACT movie before. I had. It was a film entitled Raiders of the Lost Ark. You may of heard of it. If you were to watch the first 10 minutes of each of these films and overlay them you would pretty much be watching the same film. So they updated it with a LOT of CGI and super heroes because super heroes are the current trend right now. Of course pepper in a cameo with Stan Lee right? The movie gets worst from there on out. The CGI is over the top, the characters are thrown at us with no development at all but with the assumption we are to care about them. One minute they are trying to kill each other (or not kill each other for some reason... why put him in a bag? I don't get it. Just take the orb). Then about 60 minutes in the producers decide to blast us with a 20-30 minute CGI jack fest that looks just like another film. This time they decided to duplicate Star Wars Episode II (not a good film to replicate). A space chase with CGI only Lucas could love. Ten million things happening on the screen in the span of one chase scene all while blasting our eyes and our ears with brutally piercing effects. Your ears will be ringing for 48hrs after seeing this film. You might have an epileptic seizure if you try to follow all the action as well. This leaves us a little later on with Peter Quill mysteriously smitten over a girl that he has no connection with that has been established. Matter of fact he decides to risk his own life to save her and depend on the undesirable to save him. Sure. Cue more CGI and miraculous healing a minute later to his face.... after all he isn't mortal is he? Or is he? There is also a tree in the film that walks and conveniently regenerates limbs when handcuffs are needed to be placed on him. They have a prison suit that fits a 2' tall raccoon (who doesn't know what a raccoon is even though he speaks English) but not a prison suit that fits a 8' tree. I think this was a case of the CGI department having no problem rendering walking branches instead of a walking rodent. The tree has a case of the Hodors but not unlike Chewbacca he can be completely understood as he speaks articulated sentences. Except with Chewbacca we could infer Solo was guesstimating what Chewy was saying and having fun with it. This is not the case. The raccoon actually understands everything. The film got so bad that we saw a few people get up and leave about 90 minutes into it. We took their cue ten minutes later (the person I was with kept looking at me like... really??) and left as well. The film was an obnoxious capitalistic CGI jack fest that had no story (that wasn't stolen from three other high grossing films), no character development, and no creativity. To give you an example of how uncreative it is, after ripping off the entire intro to Raiders of the Lost Ark the director (I assume) tried to pull a song from the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack and use it to lighten the film. In this case "Hooked on a Feeling" was used. When? When the characters were entering prison of course, why of course they were hooked on the feeling of going to prison. Contrast this with the brilliant work of Tarantino's use of the same song in Reservoir Dogs. It's like the director never saw Reservoir Dogs or he had no say in the music used in the film. What happened to the clever 70s music to be sprinkled in for comic relief? It just disappeared midway thru the film and didn't return til later. They had to have the Episode II CGI jack fest scene to take up half the movie and the pretend romance scene. I could go on from there about how bad this movie was but I would have to go back and watch the last thirty minutes. Maybe after my ears stop ringing and they release the fifth special edition DVD (at which point 99 cents will be the going rate for all other versions) I might just do that. Until then I'll cross my fingers and hope JJ can save the Holy Trilogy that this film and so many others try to rip off while turning a blind eye. It's no coincidence that the poster looks exactly like the poster for Episode IV.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

Great "laugh all the way through "film

[8/10 · 22 December 2011]

This is probably one of the last movies I ever thought I would watch. It barely got any coverage or trailer play when it hit the theaters and from what I saw it looked completely stupid. Then late one night while browsing Netflix and looking for a 'mindless' film I decided to give it a chance (usually meaning I'll watch the first 15 minutes and 'Gong' it if it isn't doing it for me). Well let's say I was completely so glad I gave it a shot. It had me laughing all the way through. Keep in mind I was in high school in the 80s so that fact probably led to a lot of the appeal of the humor. It wasn't long into the film that I recognized the humor as being extremely similar to "Sex Drive" and as soon as the film was over I logged into IMDb as I knew it must have been the same director. I was shocked to find out I was wrong but eventually found the link in the screenwriter Sean Anders who did both films. I love his style of humor and hope to find more similar films. Totally just "let loose" humor, laid back, and at the same time very witty. I think you should give this film a try. Put yourself in that 'mindless' humor state of mind and you will thoroughly enjoy it. If you grew up in the 80s or love the decade you will love this film even more.

Blood Out (2011 Video)

A lot better than expected

[6/10 · 5 March 2011]

I would rate this film a 6.5 out of 10. I went in definitely with very sub par expectations especially considering the opening 5 minutes of the film seemed like a blatant rip off from the opening 5 minutes of the Assault on Precinct 13 remake. Once the film moved on passed that and I adjusted to the passé (and much recently overused) style of shaky camera syndrome I was able to absorb that the film had much more to offer. Filmed in Louisiana it had a much grittier look than Los Angeles and definitely helped sell the film a lot more than a typical gang-banger flick shot in Compton. Also the film featured 50 cent but another refreshing aspect was typically in a film of that nature (a film that features a prominent rapper) more than half the soundtrack would be wishy wash songs by that artist; but this film instead had many underground and fresh artists collaborating to create a very enjoyable mix. Even the credits outro song was very good (albeit stealing the riff from 'Slow-Motion for me' rap song). Val Kilmer. Well what can you say about his appearance in this film? Is it me or has he resorted to these very bit small parts in all sorts of independent movies. He is much bigger than his days of Chris Knight in Real Genius but his presence does its job and doesn't distract the viewer all too much. More distractions fall all the sexy eye candy that is spread all over the film via slave girls in S&M outfits and Victoria Secret angel garb. A minute into the film a sexy breast is presented to us but don't let that fool you, the movie is far from a late night Skinemax T&A film... in fact after that opening gratuity shot not many more nipples make there appearance. Luke Goss is a very well fit for this film and his acting hits the X. Very believable in a role in which I don't think many men could pull off. The director, Jason Hewitt (I believe his first film directing), does a very good job in telling a way too common vigilante (cop goes undercover) story in a unique way so that the viewer doesn't feel like they are watching recycled Hollywood garbage that has been done so many times before. All in all the film is recommended (specially if you are in a macho guy action flick mood) and the soundtrack would be worth hunting down.

Death Proof (2007)

Had some serious potential..... but.....

[5/10 · 18 October 2007]

After watching Planet Terror and almost throwing my TV set out the window because it sucked that bad.... I somehow summoned the strength to watch Death Proof a good 4 months later. Lets be clear first... the TV I watched Planet Terror on wasn't mine, I was at a hotel, and uhhhh Death Proof got released on DVD as a "Blockbuster Exclusive".... in other words "Watch at your own risk". Have you ever rented a Blockbuster Exclusive? If not, high fives. Another necessary statement: Pre-Jackie Brown Quentin kicked some serious as$. It's been all down hill after that (downhill on roller skates to be precise). I didn't buy into any of that Kill Bill stuff more than 15 mins at least so I was super skeptical coming into this "exclusive" more than most. But after I popped this in I was pleasantly surprised... what we have here is a QT trademark dialog driven film that promised suspense, action, and intensity. And for the first 1/2 of the film it delivered just that.... and it was real good. Kurt Russell (aka Snake Plissken who Robert R was a big fan of so not sure why he ended up in QT's film instead) delivers a top notch scary performance. For the first 1/2 of the film. Then for some unknown reason, QT completely drops the ball and gives us a piping hot piece of brown muck which we can only smell and not bare to watch. What the hell went wrong after the film's progression into Tennessee? Did anyone notice how really bad the film sucks at this point? Did anyone else yell during the car chase for the stupid girl to brake? Or at least drive around one of the thousand parked objects to give Ms. "I love riding on hoods" a chance to jump back in the car. No, we must proceed at a high speed chase no matter what. OK, did anyone please notice while Stuntman Mike and the suicide chick car were slamming each other the car or two that passed them!!??? WTF? Sure, "Hey look at these cars playing death match derby ahead at 75 mph...lets pass them. We gotta get to grandmas or she'll be pi$sed." Are you serious QT? Did you even watch this in the editing room? Is a this bad a$s chick really that bad a shot with a gun? I could go on about how the second half of this film just seems to run out of budget but I won't.... My advice: Watch the first half of the flick (Texas half) and consider it a mini horror flick...then toss the rest.

Transformers (2007)

Started out strong....then quickly fizzled

[6/10 · 18 October 2007]

Very promising start to a dull movie. I got the feeling within the first 30 minutes I was watching some kind of Terminator 2 ripoff but with car robots instead of cyborgs. The similarities were completely obvious. But that was during the promising set up stage to this way too long flick. Then Mr. Bay must have taken some cues from the older George Lucas (yeh the older one being the guy who thought Jar-Jar and Darth Maul were cool) because out of nowhere some kick-azz bad guy robots developed annoying personalities and speech mannerisms...i.e the infiltrator bots suddenly had to whine and cry when they got hit and generally just become annoying. Period. From that point on the film looses interest and becomes a CGI palm fest. OK we get it... you can make really cool CGI.... can you have a somewhat non-annoying script to watch while you are at it? Does the lead lady always have to have her makeup perfect? Did Tyrese need to be in this film? Do the robots really not shake the ground significantly enough jumping around that we can't notice any vibrations? Can the good guy robots only drive (really slow to for some reason) while the bad guys can fly at will? Please. Can you promote Burger King any more? 60+ years of studying Megatron and landing on the moon is the best we got? Can we scrap Transbeaters 2 and pump that 300 mil into something we might want to watch more than 30 mins of? My suggestion: Watch the first 30 mins then turn it off and get the ending from a good friend. Save 2 hrs of your life and watch T2 instead. Over & out.

War (2007)

Out of retirement.... and back kickin'!

[5/10 · 24 August 2007]

So his announced retirement after Fearless was just a ploy to get more money for that film? I mean if you are doing an action movie that has Kung Fu in it....can we really call that retirement? Why announce any retirement if you are still doing movies with martial arts? Others who retired and then unretired: --Michael Jordan ---------------basketball--------------------------- --George Foreman ---------------boxer----------------------------- --Deon Sanders -----------------cover man----------------------------- --Matt Biondi-------------------gold medalist------------------------ --Reggie Miller------nba player who coined "the choke"----------------- --Jet Li ---------- does this count as retired? -----------------------

The Devil's Rejects (2005)

Painful to watch. Literally.

[2/10 · 29 May 2007]

Not even 10 minutes into this film you will be thinking "Texas Chainsaw" ripoff. 20 minutes into the film you will be shaking your head on how bad it is and painful to watch. There are over a dozen moments in this film where completely annoying things happen. They keep coming. Over and over. Nobody can successfully defend themselves or escape from anything. I could go on and on but will stop here. It is a sad day that a great icon like Ken Foree had to subject himself to this film, although he might be one of a few bright spots in the entire picture (even the hot bimbo from Valley Girl couldn't pump one pulse into this dead lump of a film). Another one of those films where you feel they are stuffing song clips down our throats just to get a fair amount of tracks on a soundtrack. A horribly written and directed film all the way around. Watch the original or remake of Chainsaw for a much better cinematic experience.

28 Weeks Later (2007)

Classic horror flick moments.

[8/10 · 29 May 2007]

Great great follow-up of a film. Not quite as good as the original but many shining moments. The first 10 mins is spectacular as far as zombie films go and there are many more moments later in the flick where this thing shines. Where Romero left off with Night of the Living & Dawn of the Dead, this new zombie genre picks up. Romero completely lost his touch on his 3rd film and in 28 Weeks Later you can see what Romero's original vision should have been on the bigscreen. I am so glad someone finally took over the reigns (even through the course of 2 different directors) from Romero 25+ years later. The music in the film is incredibly rich and intense and gives the entire picture wings. Do yourself a big favor and watch this baby on the bigscreen. Please.

Breach (2007)

Very well done and moving

[7/10 · 19 February 2007]

I thought this film was very well put together and the slow pace of the film and coldness really lent itself to the overall picture of what was taking place. I'm curious to see how much of the film is based on fact rather than fiction but I didn't factor that into my score of a 7 out of 10. I really liked how they showed the veteran agents relaying their tired and battered souls onto the new wanna be agent even when they weren't doing so intentionally. The movie has a lot of well known actors which can usually detract from the viewer being able to suspend disbelief or what have you, but in this case that doesn't happen. All do a very good job as well. Recommended viewing. -LOSTFLIX

The Princess Bride (1987)

A beautiful and witty masterpiece

[10/10 · 14 February 2007]

What more can you say about this incredible film? The casting was perfect, the acting was perfect, and the writing was perfect. And the soundtrack was pretty darn good too. Andre the Giant? Perfect! I will add something. You know the scene with the shrieking eels? Well they just found a very similar creature (half shark / half eel) over in asia. Apparently it is a species that lives very low beneath the surface of the ocean and has only been seen on occasion when one is dead or near death and comes near the surface. They recently caught a near dead one and put it in a pool for its last few days of life. Anyways, that discovery made the shrieking eel scene a lot more spookier for me. :-D -LOSTFLIX

Road House 2: Last Call (2006 Video)

Dalton would be rollin' over in his grave

[2/10 · 14 February 2007]

Well let's be fair. Following up a cult classic like Road House is no easy task. Now subtract Swayze from the equation and you get a monumental task. So with Patrick not on board whose bonehead idea was it to proceed anyway and make this piece of garbage? I am going to blame the director who didn't even provide 5 minutes of decent footage throughout the entire film. I was actually shocked they got Will Patton (Armaggedon) to jump on board. Johnathon Schaech did an OK job with the lead but the writing was atrocious. Turning down his partner brunette bombshell (Crystal Mantecon) in the film's first 5 minutes made me want to eject it right there. But I stuck with the film hoping to catch a glimpse of that great cheesy humor that worked so well with the Double Duece. No such luck. The cover of the DVD is hilarious, they show these two stacked blondes who make one 10 second appearance in the film. Costar Ellen Hollman actually puts in a decent performance as well. But again the effort is futile in a piece of garbage and disgrace such as this. Has Jake Busey ever been cast in a decent film? Could they not pull at least a few actors in from the first film for some kind of nostalgia treatment? Even one of the old bouncers or two, or Jeff Healey for a performance would have been nice. Take this film out of your Queue immediately. -LostFlix

United 93 (2006)

Very powerful film

[9/10 · 10 January 2007]

Just got done watching this film. I was definitely skeptical of it when it came out as I thought 9/11 wasn't that long ago. But my fears were put to rest and this film is quite appropriately right for the time. It is a very strong and moving film and does an excellent job portraying the confusion that filled the day. It doesn't glamorize anything and sticks to all the facts that are known about 9/11. I highly recommend rented this film and watching it by yourself on a night of no distractions. You need to really fully dedicate yourself to the film as it commands your attention. Not only so you can get the full dose of the film but also out of respect for what you are watching and learning.