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franktutor
Reviews
A Quiet Place (2018)
Frustration is Not Fear
People confuse frustration with fear when they claim this is a scary thriller or horror.
It's blah in all respects, and the plot is just plain bad.
Don't make a sound, OK. The creatures have armor, buuuuuuuuuuut they can be killed with shotguns. Um, ok?
The Secret of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue (1998)
Lives Up to the Nimh Name - Awful
The plot of the first movie was horrid. The first half set up mystery and adventure that the second half couldn't fulfill. The result is half epic, full awful. A poor sword fight at the end can't save it.
This sequel is just plain awful. Don't waste your time.
Like the first, this one has no mystery and adventure. Unlike the first, it doesn't even promise any, so there's not even half a movie to enjoy before the bubble is burst.
The sequel's animation and acting are a step below animation and acting in the first movie. This seemed more like a pilot for a bad cartoon series than an epic movie, which at least the first tried to be.
The Secret of NIMH (1982)
Tedious Rot
Why are all the other mice smart just because Johnathan and some rats had their intelligence altered?
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Why the big plot, big deal? Move. The plowing happens every year. Move.
The first half of the movie suggested mystery and adventure. These were never really paid off.
The Suicide Squad (2021)
Bad Story Telling 101
This movie is a study in bad movie making.
Bad Story Telling 101: Show something, then go back to before it happened. That way, the viewers don't care about anything because they already know the outcome.
The bloodbath opening would have been far more impactful if the story had been told in order. Instead, it was wasted at the beginning, used as a story element vampire to suck the life out of the remainder of the story.
The movie is full of expected unexpected twists. Only an idiot didn't know Harley was still alive after the opening.
Bonus: Wimpy John Cena is in it. He plays a tough guy. He's a good actor - in real life he's a wimp who not only apologized to the Chinese, he did it a second time in Chinese because they wouldn't accept the first apology.
How Elba has a career in action movies is a mystery. He is a flop in every role he plays.
The effects are good. That's about it.
Garbage. Worth a miss.
Supergirl: Crisis on Earth-X, Part 1 (2017)
Moslty Nothing
By the time the long segments of generic people with generic relationships expressing generic feelings is half way through, you'll be wishing for the bad guys to appear.
By the time the bad guys appear, the episode is beyond salvage thanks to long scenes of generic people expressing generic feelings in generic ways over generic situations .
The opening is generic - establish ruthless and unstoppable bad guy by having him easily beat a hero. Show mystery bad guy (it's an alternate Supergirl) only partially, so people wonder who it is. I expect the audience this is aimed at didn't know that was an alternate Supergirl.
This episode has the generic superheroes casually beating up bad guys - so casually that while they;re fighting they discuss a wedding invitation.
Supergirl and her lesbian friend use a only should be used in emergencies dimensional gateway to travel to the alternate universe for the wedding.
Lots of places where you'll hope the bad guys show up.
When Barry;s soon to be father in law makes his generic speech about generic feelings, you'll wish he gets shot through the eye with an arrow.
When Supergirl generically sings a generic wedding song, you'll wish the bad guys show up.
When Lesbian Assassin Girl hooks up with Supergirl's super cool lesbian pal - couldn't the bad guys kill one or both of them?
At all times, the people in this deal with every day life in a way that would show they're unable to function in a crisis. A real hero, someone who could face tough situations, would tell every one of them to stay home.
By the time the bad guys show up, you'll be rooting for the bad guys.
The bulk of this episode would have been about 3 minutes of side filler in a well written, good show.
Another reviewer complains about watching Flash and not wanting to watch these other pathetic characters from pathetic shows. The reality is Flash is also pathetic.
Legends of Tomorrow: Return of the Mack (2017)
Beta Moon
Loot's of Beta male, and female, in this episode.
If you're supposedly a leader, but someone else is in charge, that's beta.
Captain Assassin again loses control of the ship to one of Rip's secret commahhhhhhhhhhhnds. Any captain who let's someone else have control of the ship, who doesn't even know enough about the ship to not have someone else in control, is a beta.
That's OK. Rip is also a Beta. He founded the time corps or whatever it is, made it for his purpose, yet it has a director that's in charge over Rip. Beta.
Taking advice on how to treat women from Muslims would be Betta. The Muslim woman from the future comments on how horrible conditions are for women in 1897. That's interesting from the follower of a religion that in 2021 (or 2017 or whenever this was made) practices slavery, honor killings, restrictions on women's behavior and dress.
For some reason, Haircut has a ready made serum to cut the psychic tie between Auto Mechanic Who Can Fix Futuristic Space Ships and The Professor Doctor. When Jax asks to separate, Haircut goes to a fridge, pulls out the serum. Wow.
As always, the not heroes don't use their powers - that creates a dire situation, and then they have to lamely use their powers at the end.
More spinny, posing fighting from lesbian, or is it bisexual, or is it just likes men Assassin Gal. It looks absurd.
Legends of Tomorrow: Phone Home (2017)
Phone Lame
Stein will miss the birth of his grandson unless they leave like now - in their time machine, 29 years before his grandson is born.
Um...
The moral relativity and leftists ideals keep flowing. This episode is a tribute to the awful "ET", a movie full of pretend wonder and pretend feelings that shows how an unknown alien species is ever so much better than humans (aka Americans).
This episode copies ET, poorly, to show that even a murderous alien species is better than evil Americans.
Again, why would it matter when Stein left to travel in a time machine to 2017?
At the end, kid Ray makes the most horrific and ridiculous smile ever seen on the screen. WTF is that?
Remember, folks, Americans evil, killer space aliens good.
Hellboy (2019)
Awful
The goal of Hellboy is to sell a demon as a hero. Thank God this abomination fizzled.
Poorly acted, poorly written, dull story, bad dialogue, lifeless action.
BTW, Fallen angels aren't heroes.
Legends of Tomorrow: Aruba-Con (2017)
Legends in Black?
Just when you thought this show couldn't get worse, Season 3 starts.
Assassin chick beats up Caesar with some of her ridiculous spinny moves - in a real fight, she'd get pummeled.
The Time Bureau is a very poor man's Men in Black, complete with a mind erasing device that doesn't seem to erase minds - after it's used on Caesar, he still remembers stealing a book and why he stole it.
The plot is generic. Nothing fun here. More cringy posing and delivery of lines from a bunch of people who can't act their way out of a paper bag.
Legends of Tomorrow: Doomworld (2017)
Ho Hum
More ho hum from the show.
More actors uttering statements like questions? It's a statement, but their voices go up at the end like a question? They do it over and over again?
For some reason, the Legion of Dumbers keep the Legends around so they can, you know, defeat the Legion.
Once again, the time captain, not the Doctor, gives up. What a hero.
Legends of Tomorrow: Invasion! (2016)
In 2016? We Have to Save Our Friends
I thought the show was bad - but when more of the Arrow/Flash characters entered, my goodness the bad scale goes off the charts.
Posing Assassin Woman set this episode up with a typical first part of a sentence as a question? Second part as a statement.
Now we get blonde ponytail woman who never speaks - she banters. Every line she utters is with sloppy talk (sounds like rocks in her mouth) fast patter speech. Things like this: "We ave tado this, lesgo."
They're facing an unknown enemy that may threaten their lives. What do they do? Sideline their most powerful member. Sure, that makes sense.
Speaking of threatening their very lives: the last episode ends with Posing Assassin Girl saying they have to go to 2016 to save their friends, and then this episode begins with them in the middle of some activity with their friends.
What happened? What came in between these two things? I guess it was shown on other shows...
The modern term to describe this is cringy. Every line, every character interaction, everything about this is cringy. It's like bad cosplay.
Oh yeah, there's Stein's daughter. They picked an actress who is a weird mouth mover. Her mouth movements don't match her words. Her mouth goes off in sideways directions as she delivers her lines always with an ironic undertone.
Each actor on this show only has one or two ways to deliver a line. It's ends up looking and sounding weird...cringy.