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Psycho_Llama
Reviews
The Legend of Billie Jean (1985)
Can't think of good summary... Um, hey! Christian Slater!
I rented this (1)because I saw the last twenty minutes or so on tv and became interested due to my love for plot and characters in '80s flicks, and(2)for Christian Slater, I'm usually guaranteed an interesting flick when he's involved. The title character Billie Jean is a babe, to be blunt. To be blunt again, I also find her friend Ophelia(The oldest of the two female friends, who supplies the wheels) very attractive. Okay, now that I've put that aside I'll get to the stuff you might find helpful(if you're having cognitive disinance over wither or not to see this movie), *SPOILERS* included. I liked Christian Slater's character pre-shooting, after that I didn't see the point in him threatening everyone within a 10-foot radius of his gang with the GI JOE role-play pistol. For the most part every actor plays a good role. My favorite's probably the well meaning deputy, what a cool guy. He tried his best to keep money drop-offs and cautious sharp-shooting operations from going sour, but had his judgment brushed aside for being regarded as a wimp, which sucks. Putter(Yeardley, voice of LISA Simpson)'s scene of entering woman-hood served no real purpose to me, other than a bizarre slapstick joke. The slogan FAIR IS FAIR gets just a *bit* tedious, but by no means sufferable. I don't get how or why the general public in the movie made Billie Jean such an overnight phenomenon, unless the TV and radio reporters got inside information on the whole story. There's a few scenes involving the battering of children which I appreciate for the way the main characters rescue the abused children from their "home" environments. I hope my review didn't come across as too negative, just wanted to voice the points I don't completely appreciate. Overall, I think TLOBJ is a very entertaining movie with funny characters and beautiful scenery(both locations and girls). I haven't quite fallen in love with it yet, but most likely with time I will. Peace and party on, I give The Legend Of Billie Jean 6.5-10
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
SPOILER & OPINION-FILLED REVIEW
* Smeagol's emotions and expressions were leaps and bounds above Jar Jar Binks'. I think he's so likeable because we can all relate to his lunacy. If ILM could harness a character as entertaining as ol' fish eater for SW EP3, that would really be great. * Brad Dourif(Gemini Killer, The Exorcist III) also was entertaing, as usual, as the vile Wormtongue. His interaction with the King of Rohan was in many ways very similar to Bib Fortuna and Jabba's in Return Of The Jedi. * My jaw wasn't exactly dropping over the wargs' design. Kinda reminded me of Hobbes after Calvin pulls him out of the dryer... * The Ring Wraiths' dragon mounts were very swag, though, I thought. I would've liked to have seen more of the Oliphants. The trolls working the gate were cool. Hmm, any other beasts.....? * All the 15 second-long sweeping scenery shots got old to me. I know it displays the beautiful landscape, and sets scenes, but shot-after-shot of Gimli, Aragorn, and Legolas trekking across rocky mountain tops got a bit tedious. * The first Orc that mentioned eating the Hobbits was cool-lookin'. The Arabic-inspired costumes and characters were feasts for the eyes. The spirits in the swamp were nightmarish, I loved them. * All in all, I enjoyed TTT more than TFOTR, and like others, am anticipating TROTK next December. Gollum:8-10/TTT:7-10
The Musketeer (2001)
Tim Roth steals the show....
(WARNING: THE FOLLOWING OPINIONATED REVIEW BY A SMALL TOWN MOVIE FANATIC CONTAINS EXPLICIT SPOILERS) * The plot outline can be read elsewhere, and you can also find it from other user comments, so I'll just jump into some of my ideas. Tim Roth has great moments as the blood-thirsty renegade Fabre. His dialogue with young D'Artagnan during the movie's opening scene are especially entertaining. And who could forget his conversations with Cardinal Richelieu? (I'm about to butcher some quotes here, so Musketeer fans, prepare yourselves) CR: "Without killing anyone, I want you to embarrass them." F: "What if I - must kill someone?" Then the Cardinal says rather apathetically: "Well, if you must, you must." Then later in the film the Cardinal becomes angry with Fabre's exploits and Fabre says "Are you going to damn me to hell? I'm certain that's where I'm going, perhaps we can finish our conversation there?" Chilling. Francesca's threat to her incest-driven uncle about cutting off his *gonads*, and then feeding them to the pigs made woman all over the world cheer in unison, I'm sure. Steven Spiers as Porthos also gives a good performance. The physics seen in the more outlandish action sequences pulls me away from the movie, realizing it's only a movie. But in the end, it IS telling the fantastic tale of the valiant Musketeers, so see it, enjoy it, take it back before the store closes... "ONE FOR ALL! AND ALL FOR FUN!"
Surf Ninjas (1993)
Before Star Wars, Before The Godfather, I was watching this epic masterpiece.
I've been watching this movie for some 10 odd years now, and I love it more than ever. I can never express enough how amazing this film is in all it's hilarious one(or two, or three, or...)-liners, rockin' soundtrack, and entertaining as hell characters, those are expressions I can only keep in my heart. *NOW SOME SPOILERS* Ernie Reyes Sr. is the baddest(good, not bad) as Johnny and Adam's vigilante-protector, Uncle Zatch. Rob Schneider's character Iggy(the friend of Johnny and nuisance to everyone else) has quite the fan base among my buddies and I. Iggy's quite possibly one of the most quotable characters in modern cinema history..... Ernie Reyes Jr. plays a role almost identical to his character Keno in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze(another movie, part of an epic saga)as Johnny, which of course is fun to see. Nicolas Cowan plays Johnny's kid brother Adam, who at one point in the movie backs a jeep into a group of menacing ninjas, causing his bewildered brother to say "Adam, you're driving!", to which Adam casually states "Yeah, ain't it b****in'?" How cool is that? Tone Loc(Lt. Spence) and Leslie Nielson(Colonel Chi) also play fun characters. Ah hell, everyone from the holy man Baba Ram, to the boys' adoptive father Mac, to the long-time enemy of Mac that gets thrown across a room by a deadly pair of chop sticks wielded by Zatch, to the gong banger("Pa-tu-san!"), to Johnny's girl Ro-May, to Ro-May's father Gum-Bey("As in Po-key's friend?"), to the guy that gets his @$$ knocked down a looonnngggg flight of steps more than a couple times, are testimonies of great script writing.
See Surf Ninjas, it just may become as infamous to everyone who reads your "Favorite Movies" lists as it has become to those who read mine. Kwansu dudes! 10-out of-10