Bryan_Roderick Reviews

Shin Godzilla (2016)

Transformers : US as _________ : Japan

[5/10 · 3 December 2016]

Shin Godzilla

Written and directed by one of my favorite anime directors: Hideaki Anno, Shin Godzilla is a new step for the classic giant monster. The film is also poking fun at how the Japanese government works with their reactions to nuclear meltdowns and constant tsunamis.

None of the actors really stood out except for Satomi Ishihara, who plays Kayoko Ann Patterson. She's a US special envoy who actually speaks pretty decent US English in the film. If you've followed the Ringu series from Japan she was Akane from Sadako.

Godzilla was cool at times. His hands never really moved and it bothered me how stiff they were. It was probably intentional to have it appear to be less computer generated. I especially enjoyed when Godzilla attacked using his radiation beam. The sound effects were on point as the classic sounds of his roar and even the beams were used.

The music, done by Shiro Sagisu, was almost all classic Godzilla music. Shiro also worked with Hideaki on Evangelion. Which was one of the better anime's from the late 90s.

Verdict: The movie can get really boring at times, it does this to send a message to the Japanese people rather than entertaining all audiences. I suppose the producers figured that people would go see it just because it's Godzilla so who cares what the story is. In a way Transformers is like a US version of Godzilla. Where people will go see it even if the story is bad. I wouldn't recommend this film for anyone except fans of gigantic monsters.

The Neon Demon (2016)

Oh the cinematography.

[7/10 · 13 November 2016]

The Neon Demon

A young and naive model tries her hand breaking into Los Angeles. She's a natural beauty surrounded by models who have modulated their bodies one way or another. Not only that but everyone else has their agenda including her make-up artist and the owner of the motel she's staying at.

Story-wise there are a lot of missing elements and unnecessary scenes. Visually there are some superb shots. The cinematography is almost second to none. Also the film is a perversion and a personal fetish for the director. It was never about telling the story but instead letting us into the mind of the director. There is so many scenes that have color being added and subtracted and symbolism. For instance there were many scenes where animals were used to represent different personalities, and the use of mirrors to show vulnerability.

I've enjoyed a film by Nicolas Winding Refn, "Drive". Top 20 at least. He's also directed one of my least favorite films: Only God Forgives. I can forgive Nicolas Winding Refn for that film especially when he puts out such a beautiful film since then.

Jesse played by Elle Fanning, you might remember from Maleficent, does a wonderful job doing physical acting. She doesn't need to talk much when her face expresses how she's feeling or her wants. A comparison that has to be made is the transformation she makes is almost identical to Black Swan.

Ruby (Jena Malone), Gigi, and Sarah are a group of girls who've been in the town for a while and feel threatened by Jesse. Abbey Lee's character Sarah is especially good at portraying this and I can't really go into more detail without spoiling the film.

All of the men in the film feel like sideline characters. It was intentional to keep the film focused on the females. Keanu Reeves is the most noteworthy actor in the film but his role is minor. There's really only one scene that feels completely out of place and it's Keanu Reeves and Karl Glusman's scene where they talk about Jesse. It was a play on sexism I feel.

Verdict: most people would have hated to watch this film. It's methodical, slow, and has very little exposition to help you understand what's going on. I'll recommend this if you're into dissecting a film and not prone to falling asleep through movies.

Fruitvale Station (2013)

Tears, Emotional, Heartbreaking

[9/10 · 7 November 2016]

Fruitvale Station

I got a recommendation to watch this movie. It's about a young man and the events leading up to a certain moment. The beginning part of the movie shows you the real footage that the film is based off of. You can tell that Hollywood picked up a lot of the dialogue and aspects that were second hand.

Michael B. Jordan, the young actor who did Fantastic Four and Creed, plays Oscar and cements himself in my library of noteworthy up-and- coming actors. He carries the burden of his life through each scene he's in and is deep down a good person who is left with precious little alternatives.

The most recognizable actor in the film is Octavia Spencer, who plays Oscar's mother. Her character is a tad stereotypical but believable. She has a wonderful scene with Michael B. Jordan that she displays her range of emotions.

Ryan Coogler is the writer/director for this and Creed. He really plays with plenty of foreshadowing and ominous warnings that only amplify the feeling uneasiness. Also his use of shaky camera isn't over used but makes the film feel more like an experience than a witness. There should be note that how he changed Oscar's character from the real story made it more emotional to watch. He plays with your own expectations in the film. At a few moments he makes you feel it's going in one direction and then swings it the other direction.

Verdict: This film made my eyes get watery. That's a hard thing to do and a film hasn't done that since The Last Samurai. I was shaken for a good eighteen minutes. If my wife had seen the film she'd be a mess. Everyone should see this film.

Sausage Party (2016)

Horrible with few redeeming qualities.

[2/10 · 26 October 2016]

Sausage Party

I was expecting this film to be bad going into watching this. It was bad. There were parts I enjoyed but for a comedy I didn't laugh. The comedian that was closest to being funny is actually a comedian I wouldn't normally think is that funny: Nick Kroll.

Seth Rogen wrote and stared as Frank the Sausage. Seth can't avoid his Rogenisms and its prevalent throughout the film.

Bill Hader plays Firewater and does a pretty good job voice acting since I couldn't tell it was him till half way through the film.

Of course Michael Cera, James Franco, Danny McBride and Jonah Hill are in the movie, but they don't add to the film.

Edward Norton is in the film and it's really hard to notice. I didn't even figure it out till the very end. He uses a very Jewish accent throughout.

Verdict: Glad I didn't pay to see this in the theaters. I would have left disappointed. I wouldn't recommend watching the film either. I could see some people enjoying it, but I wont label. Zero laughs and a few smiles.

31 (2016)

Rob Zombie is under-appreciated.

[6/10 · 15 October 2016]

31

It has becoming more and more clear to me that Rob Zombie is under-appreciated as a director. Sure he's still growing and will have some directorial flaws in there. Maybe it's his style that draws me in. I'm a big fan of characters who are fleshed out. John Carpenter is great, and I get why he doesn't like Rob Zombie, but their style of horror is completely different. Rob Zombie likes for the audience to know the villain's background, whereas John Carpenter doesn't.

The film is about five carnies who are kidnapped and put in a saw like game of cat and mouse. The murderers are over the top and Rob- Zombified. One in-particular shouldn't be spoiled for you.

Richard Brake plays the most sinister and evil character in the film. He's not gross or weird, he's just evil. He just wants to watch you die. He's both straight to the point and savoring in his hunt.

Sheri Moon Zombie plays Charly who you can imagine what happens to her at the beginning of the game called 31.

Jeff Daniel Philips is in the film and delves deep into his character and brings forth a great performance. I've only recently see him in Westworld. But he was also in Halloween II with Sheri Moon Zombie. Notice a trend here?

Another reason I mention John Carpenter and Rob Zombie is that Meg Foster is in the film as an older carny. She was in They Live for Carpenter and in Lords of Salem for Zombie. She did a pretty good job considering she's had years of experience in TV and movies like Masters of the Universe.

Verdict: The Metascore for this film is super low. It shouldn't be. I thought it was worth watching at most once. I would recommend this for people who know what to expect from a Grind-house style movie.

The Conjuring 2 (2016)

Near perfection for a sequel.

[9/10 · 14 October 2016]

The Conjuring 2.

James Wan is a genius. I'm just going to throw that out there. He builds tension like Alfred Hitchcock. He enjoys the long shot, similar to Martin Scorsese. There was a different style of horror in this film and it seems to have drawn its inspiration from Hideo Nakata's Ringu. By that I mean he plays with the audience. Building up all of this uneasy feeling only to have ultimately, nothing happen. Without feeling empty inside you feel shaken and scarred emotionally. I've said it before that: James Wan does perfect jump scares. To get you when you least expect it and to leave you wanting more when you do expect it. He never gives you the scare when you're expecting it though.

Enough fan-boying over James Wan, lets move on to Vera Farmiga who plays again Lorraine Warren, wife to Ed Warren. Vera is super expressive, which is probably why Scorsese picked her up for The Departed.

Patrick Wilson must have done something to make James Wan want him in so many of his films. I'm sure I have my research cut out for me to find out why. He's okay at acting, but I believe it's Wan's direction that really helps him out. I say that since I didn't enjoy his acting in Watchmen, Passengers, or Bone Tomahawk, and I loved Bone Tomahawk.

Madison Wolfe is going to be a star, oh wait, she already is. You probably just don't recognize her yet. She's phenomenal as the possessed child. Seriously look up the movies she's been in.

Because of the wonderful writing in the film. This has made me actually want to go watch House of Wax. One of the films I've avoided because of Paris Hilton. Carey Hayes wrote both Conjuring films and another film I liked called Whiteout.

The Conjuring 2 is easily one of the best Horror movies this year, and could be considered one of the best horror sequel. Scream 2 being up there along with Halloween II. Aliens being my favorite horror sequel.

Verdict: Watch with someone who scares easily. If the name James Wan doesn't make you want to watch this movie then would it help if I called him a young Stephen King, John Carpenter, or Wes Craven?

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016)

More Dave, less Mike next time.

[4/10 · 10 October 2016]

Mike and Dave need Wedding Dates

I get how some people would find this movie funny. Then again I never understood why people found Adam Devine funny in the first place. He's the worst part of Pitch Perfect and he's the worst part of Mike and Dave.

You can easily see that this is written by the same guys who wrote Neighbors. At least in Neighbors Zac had more opportunities to be funny. Also

Anna Kendrick plays a character she's never really tried before and she actually excels at it. She doesn't have much depth but that's the writers fault not hers. Then again maybe I'm over analyzing a cheap comedy with cheap humor.

Kumail Nanjiani is briefly in the movie and has probably the most weirdest and out of place scenes in any movie I can remember lately. I find his sense of humor more in tune with mine but because the scene was so far-fetched it didn't make me laugh.

Aubrey Plaza is herself, like she is in everything. Only this time she's a tad too over the top. Generally I enjoy her sense of humor, but this time it was a miss for me. She's the female version of Vince Vaughn. Not in personality, in that she can't act as someone other than herself. I especially liked her in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

Zac Effron can act, he just wasn't given enough scenes to showcase this. Even if there was a scene with him, he is mostly harmless and unoffensive. There's a common theme with Zac Effron movies, it keeps with this movie just saying.

Alice Wetterlund is actually the funniest person in the film. She plays the cousin to Mike and Dave who constantly tries to one up Adam Devine's character. She's calm, smart, and riles up Mike on purpose. I don't remember her character from The Interview that well, but you might recognize her from that.

Verdict: The storytelling is predictable and some of the jokes are a Ferris wheel. If you're born in the early eighties or earlier you'll probably be offended by the movie and turn it off. So don't waste you're money. If you liked Neighbors then this is right up your alley. Zero laughs.

The Shallows (2016)

Writing and Directing problems but overall decent.

[6/10 · 7 October 2016]

The Shallows (2016)

I'm guessing somewhere at some time someone said: "Hey you think Blake Lively can hold a movie on her own?" To which I imagine the response was "What sort of casting director would try that?"

Blake Lively is more than just a pretty face. The director makes sure you see her face, with the entire film being about her experience. So if she couldn't act then any audience would notice. I enjoyed her acting. She was believable and convincing that she was the character. If she can make me forget that she was Serena from Gossip Girl then that's great.

The film has problems. The shark isn't up to modern day graphics. Neither were the dolphins. Also the ending was bad. It's not how you expect it to end, which is good.

I think the bad ending it due to the writer, Anthony Jaswinski. This is his first major film and it shows.

I noticed some directorial flaws, or maybe they were intentional. Jaume Collet-Serra is good at keeping the flow of a movie going, I just wished there was better shots.

Verdict: If you're easily frightened, this film could scare you. If you're a horror movie junkie then it'll be too vanilla. Worth watching.

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

Zero laughs, still recommended.

[4/10 · 3 October 2016]

Ghostbusters (2016)

Let me start of saying: McCarthy's jokes don't deliver. The very skilled Kristen Wiig plays the straight person in the duo which is a total waste of talent.

The writing tries to add comedy, where naturally, Bill Murray had a perfect time adding in the original. Crude humor can be funny if it is delivered properly. Repeated bowel mentioning, with little to no punch line, isn't funny.

Don't get me started on the bad editing. Everything is super bright, ultra colorful. A good example of ultra colorful is the underrated Speed Racer movie. Here it feels tonally wrong. Kate McKinnon does almost nothing in the film, and when she does something it is out of left field.

Leslie Jones was actually better than expected.

The villain, which was totally uncalled for, was played by the overacting Neil Casey. He has been seeing Red Dragon a tad bit too much. There's obvious product placement, which I can't tell if it's more annoying than the bad dialogue. I literally yawned during the star trek pseudo science.

Years ago, Chris Farley did great physical comedy. McCarthy tries really hard to be that person, if it seemed more like an accident it would probably made me smile, but then she has to open her mouth and say something she thinks is funny.

The entire movie gets put on pause for a cameo that everyone knows is coming. Then it does it again with another cameo that's really bizarre and unwanted. Then again, and again. We get it, nostalgia. There's a point in the movie where the story-line has an obvious plot continuation, but instead it just tries to be funny and leaves a sour and unfulfilling taste in my mouth.

The funniest line was actually given by Kristen Wiig which I wont spoil for you, and I'm glad that it wasn't in the trailer. There's a Jaws reference that made me smile.

Verdict: There's more than enough writing flaws to take you out of the movie, if the cameos haven't already done that. I can say I still enjoyed the film despite the numerous flaws and I can say that I'm disappointed in Feig. I know he can do better comedy than what I was given. Zero laughs. I'd still recommend watching it though.

Suicide Squad (2016)

The Deadshot and Harley Movie.

[6/10 · 6 August 2016]

Suicide Squad

First thing's first: I had a good time. Second: the film is a mess in terms of dialogue, screenplay, and editing. Many times I was left scratching my head thinking "if he did this why would he do this?" or "why would that character even do that?" Without spoiling there were too many moments of just bafflement as to why the characters did the things they did.

The movie should be called the Deadshot and Harley Quin movie because that's what it is. Who cares about Killer Croc? Um...I do. I grew up watching Batman: The Animated Series. Captain Boomerang gets one or two short clips, Diablo gets about three. Deadshot and Harley get the rest of the entire movie.

Will Smith, it must have been in his contract that he gets the most dialogue and best action scenes. You might have heard that Will Smith refused to work with Tarantino because he wanted to be the one who killed an important character at the end of Django. I'm not surprised that he got a chance to be the main character in this film.

Harley Quinn: Margot Robbie, probably my favorite performance of hers, that being said she hasn't been in that good of movies. Exception: The Wolf of Wall Street. She has the perfect voice for it and do I wish they had developed her backstory a tad better, yeah. Best actor in the film.

Amanda Waller, Viola Davis can have the stern mean look on her face but don't wear it throughout the film. Oh you're going to do that anyways? Okay. Her character is boring, and there's no meaningful connection to her, plus what she does with the Suicide Squad is just counter-intuitive.

Jay Hernandez plays Diablo and has an interesting backstory. I don't really remember him from the animated series. He burns things, that's his power. There are moments when he's on screen where the things he does do not portray the character we've been introduced to. Slopping storytelling but overall good performance.

Joker: Jared Leto plays his version of the joker. Does his impression of the joker change through the film. You betcha. Close your eyes for a moment when he talks and imagine Richard Nixon. Yeah. Then sometimes he sounds more like Heath Ledger. Never once did I get a Mark Hamill style voice. I get that he's trying to be his own but stick to a voice to be consistent.

Other than that there's not much else to talk about the other characters of the suicide squad since the rest do pretty much nothing and the baddie in the film also acts stereotypical and dances through the monologue. Not in a good way either.

Verdict: Is it a popcorn movie with mindless fun like Transformers. Yes. Does it do the characters justice? Some. Does it have problems. Yeah, lots. Should you still go see it? Yes.

Stranger Things (2016–2025)

Episode 1 Review

[8/10 · 1 August 2016]

Stranger Things Episode 1

No spoilers, since the title is The Vanishing of Will Byers. So a kid goes missing, and this whole town is searching for him. Stranger things are happening all around and no one is mentioning it.

To best describe this show is to mash up The Goonies meets Akira. At least that's the vibe I'm getting so far, one episode in. The writing and direction in this Netflix show is so much better than the Duffer brother's other work: namely Wayward Pines. Though now, I have Hidden on my queue so that I can see a better example of their work.

Joyce, Byers, played by Winona Ryder is the first listed on the cast, but from the first episode she was over-acting. I know a mom is suppose to be hysterical when a child goes missing, but her performance wasn't believable. Hopefully in the later episodes she does better. Maybe my expectations out of Ryder are too high.

David Horbour plays Jim Hopper, you might remember him from Black Mass, but really he plays minor roles. He's a bit hit or miss when it comes to his performance in the first episode. He has some great strides but acting is a marathon.

The kids in this show are perfect. There isn't anything wrong with their acting or delivery. They feel real even if it's set over 40 years ago. Their child performance is on par with The Goonies, Harry Potter, Stand by Me, or ET. The teenagers on the other hand are worse. I mean annoyingly worse. You're gonna be bored or exhausted watching their subplot.

Verdit: Worth watching more episodes. Between the story and acting I will be finishing the first season.

Jason Bourne (I) (2016)

Greengrass shows he can't write dialogue.

[6/10 · 29 July 2016]

Jason Bourne

When I first saw the Jason Bourne trailer I leaned over and told my friend "Hey I bet you one of the government officials says something like "Holy crap it's Jason Bourne." and a few moments in we get a similar line. Bourne is back and there's a new level of Blackbriar, no wait, Treadstone, no wait something new, that he is the only person equipped to deal with.

Writing: subplots are good if they add to the overall story and don't ruin tone. That being said Paul Greengrass strays from his usual writing style. Maybe this is why he wasn't a writer on the previous Bourne films.

In terms of direction the film is great. To go from Captain Phillips three years ago and reinvigorating a franchise that is almost a decade old. Kudos Greengrass.

Matt Damon seemed slower in this film. Maybe it's intentional to show his aging process. Also Jason seems like he's lost his edge, does he really need someone to tell him that bad guys are coming? Not my Bourne. #notmyBourne

Tommy Lee Jones plays CIA Director Robert Dewey who will be this films Ward Abbott, Conklin, Noah Vosen. Stereotypical over confident and manipulative head bad guy who thinks he's doing the right thing by murdering an asset gone rogue.

Heather Lee is played by Alicia Vikander who is the new love interest. You might be thinking but wait isn't Julia Stiles in the movie. Yeah, she is. Alicia does an okay job for what was written for her.

The score and music editing made this film which is a lot of talk and action flow like a roller-coaster. Build up, build up, silence for the actual action scene.

The other bad guy is played by Vincent Cassel who looks evil no matter what film he's in. Seriously watch Black Swan or Ocean's Twelve.

Verdict: Not the best Bourne, but not the worst. I'm lookin' at you: Bourne Legacy. Worth watching.

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

One rotten apple doesn't ruin this film.

[6/10 · 29 July 2016]

Independence Day: Resurgence

Nostalgia is at it again with another movie from my childhood with a prolonged sequel. This was much better than Zoolander 2 but not as good as Jurassic World. Some of the cast is a hit and others just are boring and emotionless. The premise is that the aliens are back and the writing reminds you of the dialogue in the first.

Roland Emmerich is back as director and producer. There was little wrong with the direction for setting up scenes but I wish he had directed Jessie Usher more.

Speaking of Jessie Usher, he plays Dyland Hiller the son of Steven Hiller played by Will Smith in the first one. He's supposed to be the Will Smith of this movie but his performance comes off as stiff, emotionless, and with the delivery of a Hayden Christensen.

Liam Hemsworth plays a new character, Jake Morrison and does a better job being Will Smith than Jessie Usher. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but this was one of the few Liam performances that I enjoyed. I can't say I liked him in The Hunger Games.

Rain Lao is played by the interestingly named Angelababy, but her real name is Angela Yeung. She's a model/actress/singer from Hong Kong, and a way to sell the movie even more to the next biggest box office, China. She had a minimal and boring performance. Maybe if they wrote her into more scenes her performance might have been better.

William Fichtner is great in this movie, another space apocalypse movie with him in it. You might remember him from Armageddon who was the Colonel who wanted to detonate the nuke before it was ready. Another great mention was Patrick St. Esprit. He didn't do much in the film but his performance was noteworthy.

Jeff Goldblum was...Jeff Goldblum. He's quirky and a classically trained actor. He fit the roll back in 96 and it works now twenty years later.

My favorite performance in the film was from Miaka Monroe which you've already heard me rave about her performance in "It Follows" and it just goes to show that she's going to be one of Hollywood's great actresses in a couple of years. She makes me more excited to see "I'm Not Here" due out in 2017 with her, J.K. Simmons, and Sebastian Stan.

Verdict: Best seen in theaters and with a grain of salt for nostalgia purposes.

Star Trek Beyond (2016)

Hit, Hit and Miss.

[7/10 · 27 July 2016]

Star Trek Beyond

I had a wonderful experience watching the latest Star Trek. I'll get out of the way that I'm a Star Wars fan first. That being said there were moments in this new one that made me smile really wide. The film is not without some flaws, some minor and some major. Overall my experience was good.

Direction: the camera working and angles they shot were intentionally disorienting. Also some of the cgi was off. Much of it was spot on, but some of the creatures didn't look at all real. The action/intense scenes were great which is something that Justin Lin is know for with the Fast and Furious.

Writing: you can really tell which scenes were written by Simon Pegg and which ones were done by Doug Jung. I didn't watch Dark Blue, and now a part of me doesn't feel it would be up to stuff.

The dialogue between Karl Urban's 'Bones' and Zachary Quinto's Spock was spot on. Chris Pine has some brief moments as the film seems more focused on the entire crew rather than Chris Pine as the main character. I enjoyed that.

Simon Pegg's 'Scotty' and Sofia Boutella's 'Jaylah' had some great scenes together and I'll leave it at that to avoid spoilers.

Verdict: All in all I had a good experience and if you can watch it in theaters, do so.

Lights Out (II) (2016)

See it in theaters if you can.

[8/10 · 24 July 2016]

Lights Out

A woman that will claw your face and body but only in the dark. She disappears when there's light out and reappears in dark places. She can hide under your bed, in between doorways, inside your closet. Even if you turn the light on in the closet that doesn't mean she can't reappear right behind you. Oh and if you shoot at her the bullet goes through her. Not to mention the flash of the gun makes her briefly go invisible.

Rebecca is the main character played by Teresa Palmer, who you might remember her from Warm Bodies, but I like to think of her as a more attractive and expressive Kristen Stewart. She gets a call from CPS that brings her back in touch with her estranged family. Tossing her into the mess.

Sophie is Rebecca's mom and from the trailer you know that she's the reason that all of this is happening. She's played by Maria Bello who also played Anna Del Amico in ER. She does a convincing job and I haven't had many complaints with the films I've seen her in.

David F. Sandberg wrote the short film that this is based off of and with James Wan producing him and coaching him on direction you can easily see him becoming a bigger named director. He'll probably get picked up by a major company at some point.

Verdict: The ending can leave some speculation as to the likelihood or not of a sequel. I'm voting for a sequel. Go see this in the theaters. It's meant to be seen that way.

The Bronze (2015)

Crass and Funny

[7/10 · 19 July 2016]

The Bronze

Low budget comedy that gets overlooked. Check. Amazing dialogue that will make your grandma be tickled pink. Check. Amazing acting from under-appreciated actors. Check. The Bronze is about a former medalist who has to struggle with no longer being in the limelight. The opening scene in the film is by far the most interesting way to introduce a character I've seen in a long time.

Melissa Rauch plays Hope. The extremely crass gymnast who doesn't care what she says but truly cares what people think of her. The first time I heard her voice I immediately thought of Bernadette Rostenkowski from Big Bang Theory, but then as she spoke more and she transformed into Hope.

Gary Cole plays another father figure. You might remember him from Reese Bobby from Talladega Nights or as Bill Lumbergh from Office Space. He's has a great character who just wants to make his daughter happy but at the same time be a responsible father.

Sebastian Stan plays Bucky Barns, no wait that's who he plays in Captain America, Stan plays Lance. Hope doesn't like most people, so when I say she hates Lance, it means something. He was a silver and gold medalist and took something very important to Hope when she was younger.

Haley Lu Richardson is excellent as an up and coming gymnast. This was the first time I've really seen her act. That being said I'm excited to see her in M. Night Shyamalan's Split coming out in 2017.

Verdict: I wouldn't recommend this to someone whose easily offended. If you've got the skin for it, I can't recommend this comedy more.

They're Watching (2016)

Bad direction, horrible writing.

[4/10 · 18 July 2016]

They're Watching

Things go wrong when American's visit an Eastern European country to film. This trope is dead and this film beats the dead horse into oblivion. Quick cuts and poor editing make this film hard to watch. The horrible characters and writing means the viewer has to suffer through a boring and overly stereotyped scenes and characters.

Jay Lender and Micah Wright directed and wrote They're Watching. This probably explains why I didn't enjoy Phineas and Ferb, and The Angry Beavers. There are overly artsy style shots and then quick to over the shoulder close ups. It all adds up to bad direction. The conversations don't feel authentic which was a feeling the movie was going for.

Brigid Brannagh plays Becky, I enjoyed her acting in Army Wives and she easily does the best performance of the film. A bright light in the boring abyss. She has believable reactions and adds to the poor writing with her acting.

The worst actress in the film and probably what brought it down further for me was Carrie Genzel who plays Kate. She's used as an excuse for sex scenes and elaborate ways of swearing. There's of course no reason for her actions other than to sell the movie or make for scenes to have an odd conclusion. The camera needs to turn off if you accidentally stumble upon two people going at it. The camera needs to spy on people swearing at each other by themselves. She's recognizable but only because she's been in plenty of movies. The trick is she's almost never the lead, and for good reason.

Verdict: Don't waste your time and money.

Swiss Army Man (2016)

Dichotomy between being alone and being miserable.

[8/10 · 6 July 2016]

Swiss Army Man

Directed by Dan and Daniel Sheinert, Swiss Army Man is about a lost man who has been alone for too long and is starting to go insane. A corpse shows up with magical undead (farting) powers. You need to be told there's going to be a plethora of flatulence before seeing this film. Once you get past the first ten minutes, if you haven't walked out yet, you're in for a treat.

Hank, played by Paul Dano, is the lost sole who has a troubled past. Why he got lost in the first place is a bit of a spoiler. He's timid and very self conscious about ever action he takes place. Heck the corpse farts in front of him, but he still goes off to fart where no one can see him. Paul Dano is one of Hollywood's true talents. Ever since There Will Be Blood and Little Miss Sunshine, he's been on my radar as an up and coming actor.

Daniel Radcliffe and his delicious (cards against humanity) farts, plays the corpse named Manny. At first he's just a corpse but slowly he becomes everything that Hank needs to survive, both physically and psychologically. Even though he's a corpse D-Rad does a wonderful job.

The entire film is pretty much the dialogue between Hank and Manny. Showing the dichotomy between being alone and happy, and being in love and miserable. The catharsis of old fashioned beliefs about life, morality, and society. In a way, this farting corpse movie has a lot to say about deep emotions.

I was pleased to see Mary Elizabeth Winstead in the film. I think she's stunning and for her brief appearance she made me smile. Both in the words she spoke and how she acted.

Verdict: If you can put past the farts into the back of your mind, this film is harmless and enjoyable to watch. The two women on either side of me were laughing throughout this sold out film. Watch it.

Zoolander 2 (2016)

Not funny.

[3/10 · 6 July 2016]

Zoolander 2

I wanted to enjoy this movie. I went in remembering the old and how funny it was. This movie wasn't funny. It seemed more like an excuse to put famous people on film. When I say famous I don't mean movie stars either. There's a ton of people who just play themselves with a poorly written few lines: Katy Perry, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Sting, Alexander Wang...the list goes on.

Derek plays the idiot of convenience. He acts normal when it suits the story. Likewise he acts like a moron when it suits the story. His character doubles back on himself time and time again. Many if not all of his jokes are repeats from the first one.

Hansel has a subplot in this film unlike in the first. The bad screenplay adds this in whenever the Derek story starts to lull. We get it, Hansel is into some weird sex, yes he has a strange past. Can we get to some humor? No, oh okay.

One of the best parts of the first film, Christine Taylor, who plays Matilda, is absent throughout most of the film. She played the serious character in the first film and with Penelope Cruz replacing her, it's easy to see who is the better actress.

Kyle Mooney plays a fashion hipster who constantly degrades everything to praise it. I could have done with less counter praises and more intelligible dialogue. Kyle is so talented I wish he was used better.

Missing throughout most of the film is Will Ferrell's Jacobim Mugatu. From the trailer you could tell he was going to come back from prison and do something evil. The time to really make that happen would have been in the first or latest the second act, not the third. Horrible.

Verdict: If you've seen the first then you're good. I cannot recommend this movie to anyone.

Central Intelligence (2016)

Could have been funnier.

[6/10 · 5 July 2016]

Central Intelligence

Directed by Rawson Thurber who you might remember directed DodgeBall and We're the Millers. Unlike DodgeBall, I probably laughed as many times as I did in We're the Millers. This of course isn't the directors fault but Ike Barinholtz's. The guy from MADtv, it was his first time really doing a major film and the jokes were too far and few in between.

Dwayne Johnson plays a CIA agent who needs the help of his high school buddy to exonerate him. Johnson committed himself to being in character throughout the film and it really shows how far he's come as an actor.

Kevin Hart plays Calvin Joyner, the popular kid in high school that peeked and is having trouble in his personal life now. He just wants to go back to the familiar lifestyle despite being brought in time and time again by Johnson. His performance was much better than in Ride Along 1 or 2.

There are three surprise actors in the film that the trailer didn't show and they are each worth it. The dialogue was great, not funny, but much of it takes some references from TV and movie culture to understand. Something perhaps a teenager or elder might not get.

I also want to mention that Danielle Nicolet was in the film as Calvin Joyner's wife. She does a wonderful job and is an under-appreciated actress in Hollywood. I recognized her from 3rd Rock from the Sun and as the wife from Key and Peele.

Verdict: Watch the movie. Don't watch the trailer as it has many of the funny parts in it and would spoil it for you. The ending is good, but also predictable.

12 Angry Men (1957)

Best Ensemble Cast Ever

[9/10 · 2 July 2016]

12 Angry Men

Written by Reginald Rose and directed by Sidney Lumet. 12 Angry Men is about a jury who starts off 11-1 for guilty of a murder case. It's up to Juror #7 to show reasonable doubt. The film is an ensemble cast with great direction. Wide shots inside a jury room allow for whatever the main focus of the shot to also include the acting of others behind or along side. Continuous acting, and if in the hands of a different director like say Scorsese or Spielberg, I would have imagined one long 90 minute take.

Juror #7 played by Henry Fonda, best know for The Grapes of Wrath and Once Upon a Time in the West, is the main holdout who goes on to try and convince the other jurors who have their reasons to think he's guilty. Some are just going along with the crowd, some have personal issues, and some just aren't convinced. Fonda does a great job acting as an every man with some doubt.

Juror #1 played by Martin Balsam, best known for Breakfast at Tiffany's and Psycho, is the person who is in charge of voting and for the most part keeps his opinions to himself.

Juror #3 played by Lee J. Cobb, best known for The Exorcist, is by far the most interesting if not most stubborn character in the film. He yells, is arrogant, and has it in his mind that the boy murdered his father. It's not until the final minutes of the film that you get to know more about his character, but boy is it worth it.

Juror #7 played by Jack Warden, best known for All the President's Men, but I first saw him in Problem Child as Big Ben. He plays a baseball fan that just wants to get out of the room as soon as possible so he can go see a ball game. It was great seeing him throw in little chimes every now and then as jabs towards the other jurors opinions causing more...anger. See title.

This film lost three Oscars to The Bridge on the River Kwai. A movie that's now on my to see list. With it's wonderful acting it only makes me want to see the other more.

Verdict: Best ensemble cast movie I've ever seen. For a movie that doesn't change location, it has surpassed Reservoir Dogs and Saw. That means a lot. Go rent/buy this film.

Green Room (2015)

I would watch this a second time.

[7/10 · 28 June 2016]

Green Room

Written and Directed by Jeremy Saulnier, a person I've never heard of. So don't feel bad if you haven't either. Green Room is about a heavy rock band who is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Witnesses something they shouldn't and now a game of cat and mouse is underway.

Pat, played by the late Anton Yelchin, plays the main character, the bassist for the band and nominated leader of the band once every moment becomes a fight to survive. He plays the part well and has a little arc from the writing stance. I wish he had more emotion though.

The antagonist of the movie is Darcy played by Patrick Stewart. It was hard to see Star Trek's Jean-Luc Picard play this sort of character. That being said after his introduction, since Patrick Stewart is such a talent, I completely forgot that he was JLP.

Another person of note was Imogen Poots, who plays Amber. The only movie I remember her in was Need for Speed. Yes, I remember that film. She did a wonderful job as a female supporting actress for Anton Yelchin. Her role in the movie isn't seemingly important, but becomes more so as the movie progresses. Her character was better written.

Verdict: I would watch this a second time, and recommend it to anyone who loves suspense and a good story.

Clown (2014)

Not scary, but a good story.

[6/10 · 27 June 2016]

Clown

Imagine that you put on this clown outfit, and then it never came off. Not only that but it slowly turned you into a demon. Oh yeah and, you no longer want food, but instead you feast on children. Premise for horror movie, check.

The problem is that this film fails to deliver scares. That being said I'm not personally afraid of clowns but I can imagine that this film might scare those who are. A majority of the film is gross-out, Stephen King's least favorite type of horror. This is partly due to Eli Roth.

Jon Watts did a wonderful time directing the film for his first time. Not to mention that he's also slated to direct Spider-Man: Homecoming. He also co-wrote the movie which like many Eli Roth films has great character development.

Andy Powers plays Kent, the husband, turn clown, turn clown-demon. He plays a realistic approach to what lengths anyone would go to to prevent all of these horrible things from happening to you.

Laura Allen plays Meg, the wife and mother who has a small arc but isn't truly used in the film till the late second and third act. Some might see the lack of her use in the first act as a flaw but I see it as focusing on developing the Clown character. Which was needed.

Peter Stormare, Gaear Grimsrud from Fargo, plays Karlsson in a storytelling role that I wont spoil for you. His first impression is hard to forget and I'll leave it at that. He's by far the best and most talented actor on the set.

Verdict: Not scary, but a good story. I suppose that counts for something.

The Darkness (I) (2016)

Cliché Central

[3/10 · 21 June 2016]

The Darkness

Bad direction, writing, and acting made this movie a struggle to watch. The movie starts out in the Grand Canyon to be some sort of juxtapose to the title of the movie. Bright landscape and colors that develop into the darkness to come. I wasn't impressed. The teenagers in this movie are stereotyped.

The kid has something wrong with him, cliché. See The Shining, Six Sense, etc. The teenage girl has a serious issue with any parental figure and "much needed" shower scene, cliché. See Halloween, It Follows, Psycho, etc.

More cliche's like birds showing up randomly, or dogs/cats getting upset. Is anything in this film original? Not even the synopsis is original. Family is terrorized by an ancient supernatural entity they unknowingly awakened and engages them in a fight for their survival. Yawn.

Scenes do not end naturally and many times I was left wanting meaningful dialogue or more sustenance from the scene. Jump scares could take some notes from James Wan since this is a good example of how to do them wrong.

Kevin Bacon mailed in another performance. I can't imagine he would go as far as to become another Bruce Willis or Robert DeNiro. The actions of his character sometimes don't make sense. Like how he deals with each of the members of his family.

I enjoyed Radha Mitchell performance in this movie. If you're wondering, 'Where have I seen her before." It was probably the cult classic Pitch Black. She was also in Man on Fire but most people have forgotten that.

Verdict: Don't waste your time or money.

The Final Master (2015)

Knife fighting pushed to 11.

[6/10 · 13 June 2016]

The Final Master

This martial arts movie based on the fighting style of Wing Chun. Now going into this movie I saw the trailer and thought 'oh cool they'll use weapons instead of just punching and kicking.' Yeah the whole entire movie is based off of dagger fighting.

Chen Shi, played by Fan Liao, has to defeat eight martial arts schools to open his own. He fears that he's growing too old and decides to set up a betrayal, matchstick-men style. Only this time, with daggers. He was very believable and his martial arts is up there with some of my favorites.

Zhao Guihui, played by Jia Song, is a part of the chess game that the main character is playing. She is strong and adamant about not leaving her home town. She can be a bit over the top with her acting. Plenty of silent harrumphing, if I could sum up her performance.

Master Zou, played by Wenli Jiang, looks like a man at first. Then she speaks, and then on closer look she actually looks good. She does a wonderful performance as a local mob(?) boss? She works for the military? Her role in the movie was sort of implied. She even says in the movie "I'm not a gangster." which is something a gangster would say.

Speaking of context, the movie loves to see if your paying attention.

Little scenes like: Chen Shi is leaving being escorted out by nameless guards. He looks back for a moment. Turns to walk out. Immediately he turns around again and rushes back to the camera. Now revealed he was looking at his wife, Zhao Guihui. He eyes her closely and shouts "Look at me." She looks away. Defeated, Chen Shi walks out of the room.

Without knowing everything up until this point, this scene without any context is short and still a lot is spoke. This being a subtitled film, it's almost destined to not do well in the states. The fact that the film is on the level of Christopher Nolan, when it comes to subtext, means it'll be even more confusing for the movie going audience.

Verdict: If you want to see martial arts, pick up The Raid, Ip Man, or Ong-Bak. Once you've seen all of those, perhaps give this a chance.