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Reviews
Silent Night (2023)
No dialog.
There is no dialog in this movie. Zero. Not an intelligible word in the entire film and what a waste because Joel Kinnaman is a wonderful actor. This is where the pretentiousness of the creators of this movie shine through.
"Hey, let's make a movie where our lead character doesn't speak"
"Ok, that sound really interesting, but everyone else speaks, right ?"
"NO! That's the hook...there's NO DIALOG in the entire film. Even when other characters who are able to speak and you would expect them to, we're not going to have them talk EITHER!"
"But won't that be boring for the audi-"
"And I know, we'll set it at Christmas, but in a place that has no snow, because who wants to film in snow?... And, get this...we'll call it Silent Night...get it?..Silent...because people don't speak but everyone will think it's related to Christmas"
Krapopolis (2023)
Perhaps Dan Harmon isn't as funny as I first thought
This show is terrible. It's not funny and the voice acting, from supposed seasoned professionals is extremely wooden. Richard Ayoade is NOT funny. He has a strange voice and wears his hair funny, THAT is his gimmick but he is NOT funny in the least. There isn't a single thing I've ever seen him in that has made me even chuckle, let alone laugh. Matt Berry on the other hand is hilarious in pretty much everything I have seen him in...except this. In this he is terrible, talk about phoning it home. This is nowhere near the level of humor from Harmon's past work such as Community or Rick and Morty. The humor just isn't there, it feels neutered or something. I would give it a zero if I could.
One Piece (2023)
How do I like this so much ???
I consider myself a lurking anime fan. I don't like all anime but I won't shy away from giving it a chance. That being said, there is still only a small pocket of material I actually enjoy. I gave the anime version of One Piece a chance and couldn't make it past the first episode or two, though am familiar with the lore.
But this. This drew me in almost immediately and kept me engaged the entire time. It's the perfect level of serious, wholesome, and zany without shying away from violence but not being gratuitous.
Each character is uniquely distinct and interesting, again, without being too over the top. It has the perfect blend of almost everything one could want.
This is what a proper adaptation can be. It's ok to not follow the source material for plot exactly as long as the characters are there and their motivations stay intact.
I can't wait until Netflix cancels this one after one season.
Knock at the Cabin (2023)
A great film that subverted my expectations.
For me, this is unquestionably my favorite work by M. Night. Free from convoluted plot lines, red herrings and twists that make no sense, this film was a pleasure to watch. Because there's no reliance on confusion, the viewer is able to enjoy every minute of the film, putting the pieces together as they go.
The acting from each performer was fantastic as well, from Johnathan Goff to Dave Bautista, there isn't a wasted line. Their performances building tension until the final act.
Though I ended up sort of guessing the end, it didn't make watching it any less enjoyable, in fact, I was eager to see if my hunch was correct.
Though I am a big fan of gore, this film masterfully was able to shy away from the gore but still gave a visceral feeling simply from the implication of what's happening which was unexpectedly nice.
Jaws (1975)
Perhaps great at the time, a little dated for me
At the time of writing this I'm 43 in 2023, so, I'm no spring chicken but I also wasn't alive when this was released, take that for what it's worth.
Unfortunately, there seems to be something wrong with me because I am squarely on the other side of the line with my opinion of Jaws. I honestly thought it was rather boring. For more context, I only recently saw it for the first time, so I've had years of other terrifying movies to skew my opinion but it just wasn't all that scary to me.
I don't get why people find this movie so terrifying. I live in Canada, on an honest to goodness island no less and I can't say the thought of Jaws has ever stopped me from going swimming in the ocean. Perhaps this is one of those entry movies that you watch when you're younger that stays with you. It is rated PG after all.
There are very few effects, practical or otherwise. In fact, isn't this film notorious for the crew not being able to use the animatronic sharks because they would never work, essentially forcing Spielberg to use implication rather than effect? It's just a bunch of people flailing about in the water until they are pulled under and then the water turns red. That's not all that thrilling or scary to me.
Perhaps its been the years of spoofs and homages that has desensitized me so that I couldn't enjoy it, but I didn't. Maybe it's because when I watched it, I already wasn't afraid of sharks because, you know, once you're back on land, there's pretty much nothing they can do, they're not an every present threat.
The music is composed by John Williams who essentially did all the music for all the movies for Spielberg and Lucas (Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Jaws, Superman, ET, yadda, yadda) so it's what you would expect. Again, very iconic, very over played everywhere else.
The Last of Us (2023)
Pretty faithful adaptation overall, perhaps to its detriment.
I have no idea why this show has such the high rating it does. It's boring. Beyond boring. Much more boring than The Walking Dead became.
This show is based around a fungus type virus (based on the very real Cordyceps fungus which is one of the most horrifyingly beautiful organisms on the planet. This thing is the source of nightmares. So, it would seem to fit right in in a post-apocalyptic show.
Problem is, it's barely in the show.
I'd bet, in the entire first season, there is maybe, *MAYBE* 30 minutes of screen time combined in all the episodes, the rest is just boring exposition dialog. The show stays very close to the game from which it is adapted but all the tension in the game is forgone for hours of wasteful dialog.
After watching the entire season, two episodes were a complete waste of time. Those are the episode with Bill and Frank and the episode which just should have been called "How Ellie Got Bit" both were boring and did not really move the story along in any meaningful way. Sure, there was some backstory to Bill, which we meet in the game, but it still felt forced and unnecessary in the over scheme of the first season.
Being an HBO show it's shiny and they hired decent actors to play the roles, however, that can't save the show from the fact that's it's so boring, you could watch the first 10 minutes of an episode, get the gist of what's happening then skip right to the last 15 minutes and I'd bet you wouldn't miss much.
The thing about the game is that there are moments of intense tension with small sections where you can catch your breath. That tension isn't captured in this adaptation, mainly due to the lack of the real danger, the infected.
Halloween Ends (2022)
Halloween 3 was better.
There is only one thing you need to know about this film. Remember that one really bad Halloween movie ? No, not the one with Paul Rudd. No, it's not the one with Busta Rhymes, though you could be forgiven for thinking that. It's none of those. No, the Halloween movie I am talking about is, of course the infamous "Halloween 3: The Season of the Witch." Remember that one? It's okay, I barely do either, something about Halloween masks that turn your face into bugs or something like that. It was bad. Really, REALLY bad. Even as a standalone movie it was bad....
It was better than this poor excuse of a movie. That is all.
The Orville (2017)
From Hero to Zero
This show had a great start. Clever dialog, funny writing, likable characters, and fun stories. I just watched a Season 3 episode where they made the argument that you should change who you are for someone else if they ask nicely.
Do you hear that women everywhere? If your man asks nicely, you should change for him.
I am honestly floored that I watched the characters on this show make that argument. I've been telling my girlfriend for years she needs to change for me, glad to see this show is validating my thoughts. (not serious)
Outer Range (2022)
Terrible...with a grain of salt
What started off as an enthralling, suspenseful, and curious show has quickly devolved into something worse than a soap opera.
Unfortunately I am with the camp that thought the first two episodes set up some really interesting concepts and plot points but then threw them completely out the window in favor of non-relevant "soap opera" type writing. It's sad because everything else is stellar, the acting, the cinematography, the music, all great...the writing has become terrible.
Obviously I came for Brolin but I'm not sure he's able to keep me interested in this mess of a story. The grain of salt is that, at the time of this review, the show hasn't completed its first season, so it's possible the show can flip back and become interesting again. I'm doubtful.
Murder Bury Win (2020)
Competently made...that's about it
Murder Bury Win is an indie film about 3 friends trying to secure funding for a fictional murder mystery board game (similar to that of Clue) the three created. When trouble strikes, the friends must use their own board game to get themselves out of their real life murder mystery scenario.
Overall this film is competently made but in the end suffers from a weak script that lacks pacing and direction which ends up in a mediocre affair. The characters fail to connect and their predicament becomes far too predicable as the film slowly chugs along.
What starts off as a seeming comedy, never seems to find its comedic legs. What is intended as humor never quite lands. As the film progresses it seems to want to change gears into other genres but like the comedy, can't seem to decide where it wants to go and never gets there.
Overall the film has one beat and never seems to move from that place. Even when the plot is supposed to pick up, the film never really gets interesting. If I had to sum it up in a single word, it would be "boring".
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Terribly written and acting wasn't far behind.
Surprisingly I didn't think this was a good film at all and it bums me out.
The more I watch Gal Gadot, the more I am not a fan of her. In fact, I'm starting to think that she's a terrible actor, at least in this role. Almost every line she spoke in this film sounded like she was reading it off a page. I hope it's just the accent I'm finding strange, but whatever it is, it's off putting. She is absolutely beautiful, that is for sure and fits the look of the character very well.
I also felt like Chris Pine phoned in his performance, and is it just me or is he starting to look like Mickey Rourke, lol ? Always great to see Robin Wright, even if it is for like 3 minutes, but then again, I think I may be in love with her, lol. Kirstin Wigg was poor casting even though I really enjoy her work and think she's super talented, she didn't fit in my opinion. And Pedro Pascal...oh Pedro were you even in the movie ? Completely forgettable.
And then the overall story just didn't engage me, I just couldn't find it in myself to care. I became distracted more often than not while watching. The 80's stuff didn't "feel" 80's AT ALL, not like shows like Stranger Things and the new IT adaptation were able to capture. I think, in the end, I will have to blame the director (who also happened to write this film and not the first one...shocker!) for all these faults. There are just too many issues I have with the movie for it not to fall on the director.
Whoever is overseeing the DC universe stuff just isn't hitting it, we'll see how the new Snyder cut of Justice League is.