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dravenlee
Reviews
Maximum Surge (2003)
Oh God, the Pain
Please. Do yourself a favour and AVOID THIS FILM. A self proclaimed Bad Movie Fan, this transcended the realm of "bad" and entered the world of "ow. ow. that's not nice. good film doesn't deserve this. ow."
With top billing going to Bleeth and Koenig, you'd at least expect some sort of ACTING out of them. Bleeth bounces around for about a full 15 minutes of the film with minimal dialogue and no direct shots of her face - unless, of course, she's yelling at the not often seen first person main character. Not even a decent body shot, which is what we all know the boys are looking for. Koenig delivers a lackluster, also hardly seen performance as the digital embodiment of a computer gone unsatisfactorily explained haywire.
Now. The movie. It wanted to be The Matrix. It wanted to be eXistenZ it wanted to be Hackers and it wanted to be Mission to Mars. In fact, it wanted to be almost Every Movie Ever. It failed. on all counts.
The plot, without giving it away (not that there's much to give away) is that the government has comissioned a supercomputer. to take over the world. by destroying it. only it's a top secret non existant branch of the government with no real chain of commaned and crap ass direction. the plot holes are so big in this baby that i could drive a mac truck through them.
y'know, i don't really want to spend the time and mental anguish neccessary to review this film. just DON'T SEE IT AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS. no matter WHAT your options are, i promise that something, anything at all, watching paint dry, is a better use of your time then this disgraceful piece of half assed cinema.
Leeches! (2003)
oh god, the pain.
There is no reason why this movie is as bad as it is. wait, yes there is. it was shot in six days and as far as i can tell, the budget went to location fees instead of talent. the movie was made b/c one of the actors "wanted to play a nerd," and it's just downhill from there.
the actors all look alike, and i can't tell whose character is who. for a campy horror movie, there is NO sex, not even nudity. and the leeches. the barely muppet-esque, hand puppet leeches. the pain. the agony.
i've watched some bad movies in my time, but this simply takes the cake. a bad aprody of a film student's final project, this is a flick to be avoided AT ALL COSTS. and when something isn't even worth the cost of a 99 cent rental...
it's just bad. out and out painfully, not even mockably bad.
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)
Greatest. Movie. Ever.
you've got aliens, you've got gooey stuff, you've got cars that travel through mountains, and you've got Jeff Goldblum in cowboy chaps.
You've got Buckaroo Bonzai (played by Peter Weller), a rock star/martial arts expert/comic book hero/supergenius doctor.
It won't win any Oscars. But if you want comedic scifi, it doesn't get much better then this. It's one of the few movies that i can watch over and over without getting bored, and the music in the end credits just gets better every time.
i can't stress it enough: WATCH THIS MOVIE. geeks everywhere will appreciate it for what it is: a Cult Classic. (note the caps.)