idiotoff Reviews

Mission Hill (1999–2002)

not bad but not funny

[28 December 2001]

i can't say that i don't like the show, it's not bad. Most of what the other reviewers are saying to praise the show is true. It is a witty (sometimes) satire, it is Friends upside down, it is even fun to watch. But it is not a great show. Nowhere near. One thing it painfully lacks is funny jokes. I saw 8 episodes and only had one good all out laugh. Other than that it is all right. I hope it will phase away its concentration on the younger brother character, a truly misdirected attention to this worthless little whiner. If it starts to be more about Andy, Jim, Ron (the funniest character no doubts who seems to be dropped from the cast in the last episode i saw) and other adults it has a potential to become funny. The little weasel Kevin should become more episodic as he is never funny and quite annoying in an unfunny turn-your-stomac way...

On the scale of 1 (Gary and Mike) to 10 (the Simpsons, Home Movies, Daria) this show is a six.

Home Movies (1999–2004)

It's back and it's almost as good!

[24 November 2001]

I don't know if the fans of the show en masse (i.e. all hundred and fifty of them :)) are aware but the show is back on the air as a part of Cartoon Network's bid for the evening grown up crowd - Adult Swim. YES IT IS BACK!!! Oh joy! The only loss is that Paula Poundstone, a brilliant comedian and a key cast member is no longer involved. That's a loss of a good portion of the laughs but on the bright side is that Brendon Small is still here, Melissa Galsky is getting better, Jon Katz and Tom Snyder still do cameos in almost every episode and - the true gem - Jon Benjamin is still doing both Jason and coach McGuirk!

Bravo Cartoon Network! You kick butt!

Daria (1997–2002)

Best show on TV (IQ required)

[20 November 2001]

Daria is great. Together with now defunct Dr. Katz and Cartoon Network's Home Movies (stupid UPN - your loss!) it's the best TV show of the 90's-00's. Well all right, all right, add the Simpsons to that list :)

I could say a lot about Daria but most of it has been said by other reviewers. What hasn't been said yet is the fact that all characters in Daria are likable. None of them is a villain or a hopelessly lost person. If you watch the show long enough you will start liking all of them: Helen, Quinn, Jake, Kevin, Brittany, Mr. O'Neil, well - all... Everybody has their redeeming qualities and shows an unexpected appealing side once in a while. I am still yet to find anything likable about Upchuck but that's the exception that proves the rule. And im not even talking about the super cool Jane and Trent Lane.

Another point i wanted to make was that it is NOT a chick show. I am male and not gay and i can't stand chick flicks but i identify more with Daria than with almost any male character of any other show... (its between her and Mad Max of the Road Warrior :))))

Oh, almost forgot: i liked B&BH but this is the classic example when the mouse gave birth to a mountain. Daria owns and Daria rocks and Daria is the coolest chick around (well Jane ain't bad either :)))

Thank you MTV, you've redeemed yourself in my eyes for all the mindless drivel that fills your programming 24/7.

Long live Daria! Daria for president!

10 out of 10 for the Misery Chick :)

Detention (1999–2003)

this show can actually hurt kids (i think)

[30 March 2001]

I just saw my first episode today despite seeing the trailers for a long time (i just don't get up on Saturdays early enough to watch it and now it's on in the afternoon). Based on this one random episode this must be one of the worst kid's animated series on TV disguising as a good show (i.e. i don't count those cheap 'japanese imports' like the various 'pokemons', those are in the class of their own). It is dull and boring to the core with no point and nothing to say. No funny jokes or interesting storyline here. What you find here is a cliche upon cliche, some bad music, bad-to-average voice talent, sub-standard assembly-line quality animation (and not the Korean (?) in-between part but the key art sucks as well). Character design is of unimaginative generic WB-style with the possible exception of the main female character ('Shareena Wickett') who almost looks like there has been some thought put into the character design. Yet she is not really original being basically an arguably better-looking version of Lydia(?) the girl from the animated series Beetlejuice. Her character definitely seems out of place in this cartoon looking inexplicably "gothic" among all the boring boring rest of the animated cast (a low point: the animated Mowry twins). Even the names of the characters are distinctly not funny yet they are trying so hard...

The worst thing about this series however is its primitively stereotypical negative depiction of adults and the 'uncool' kids. Let me tell you what i remember from the episode i just saw... Cool kids are being cool by kicking adults in their butts or spilling ink all over their (adults) heads. Uncool kids are trying hard yet remain uncool no matter what they do (even if they do something much more dramatic like flooding the school gym with a hose). Cool kids pity the uncool ones: "they just ain't got what it takes...", i.e. the cool are also the compassionate ones while the uncool are utterly hopeless and will never be accepted... Adults are all evil and stupid and have nothing better to do but to constantly spy on kids with the sole purpose of entraping them into earning - you guessed it - a DETENTION! This word is shouted at the rate 2-3 per minute and that alone is as annoying as a toothache.

This show was supposed to be something like 'Recess' (a quite boring yet quite original animated show) meets 'Animaniacs' but it lacks the originality of both and zany humor of the latter. It reeks of commercialism, half-assed job, lack of talent, sheer stupidity... Is this the 'food for thought' we want to feed to our kids? (my first baby is due in 2 weeks). This show can teach them nothing good, by reinforcing the worst stereotypes it can only propagate the dreaded 'American teen values' that are formed by the mindless showbiz and then the whole country shudders in amazement: whatever happened to our young generation?..

well, i am not good at speeches, let me just conclude: the creators of this show must not be allowed nowhere near children and, preferably, should be put in jail (for the damage they've already done).

KEEP YOUR KIDS AWAY FROM THIS ONE!!!

The Secret of NIMH (1982)

if that's the best, then...

[6/10 · 17 February 2001]

I didn't like the movie. The story is weak, the characters are too sketchy, too much unnecessary violence and dazzle and sparkle... It's almost as cute as a Disney movie and just as a Disney movie it's full of cheap thrills. Music is trivial although bearable and so is voice acting. Watch any film by Hayao Miyazaki instead if you want to see a really great animated film...

Desperado (1995)

is this a rip-off? if not for Salma's tits...

[7/10 · 9 October 2000]

If this movie wouldn't have nude Salma Hayek in it it would be a complete waste of time.

not even close to the sincerity and originality of El Mariachi, it's a self-indulgent, overproduced, BADLY SCRIPTED quasi remake of Rodriguez' first film... It feels like he's just sold out to Hollywood, getting all these highly paid actors, replacing the lead man with a pretty boy Hollywood darling who can't act... so what's the big fuss about?

no logic, no plot, laughable attempts at philosophizing... it's got a bit of humor now and then, but if not for a peek at Salma's tits it would be just a complete waste of time. And don't even start me about the gunfights! these are NOT gunfights, these are just a joke. Do bad guys EVER hit their targets? Does the hero ever miss?..

Salma Hayek rules (when she keeps her mouth shut and is out of her dress).

Starbangers 1 (1993 Video)

so-so...

[7/10 · 20 August 2000]

One big long gang bang with no attempt at even fake passion or acting. Pretty bland and quite boring unless you are a Savannah fan and every movie she made is precious to you. "Before and after" documentary footage shows how distant Savannah was from other ppl in the industry, she barely says a word to anyone "off-camera" all while a good half of the studs starred with her in countless movies. She is obviously not into it and somehow the fact that she isn't faking interest or involvement makes it reversely attractive. If you're a Savannah fan -- definitely watch it, even if only to fantasize that you would've made her scream with pleasure unlike the guys in the film... :)

God rest her soul.

X (1996)

visually nice but too darn trivial

[7/10 · 24 April 2000]

i haven't read any of the X manga, so i thought my opinion may be of interest to some genre fans who are thinking about renting or going to see this movie without being particular fans of X or CLAMP (i.e. like myself).

This is definitely not just wasted time and money. Several aspects of this movie are of interest to any anime fan. First, the animation work is of the highest quality, especially of the movement and of the natural effects. Animated water drops sequence approximately 10 min. into the movie is just splendid, quite unparalleled within the genre. In this respect, however, this is the highest point of the film. Well, the fight scenes are quite good as far as movement animation is concerned but no exciting visual surprises there and the action is rather bland (still i've seen worse). Scenes of destruction of Tokyo are comparatively non-impressive. As a credit to the movie, music did not annoy me, so i guess it was OK.

Where the movie takes a real dive it's the story. I found it quite easy to follow which is probably the only good consequence of the fact that the plot is as generic as can be with no attempt made at differentiating this story from the bulk. I guess that's what stuffing of a 22-book series into a 90-min film does. As it stands now it is so trivial and non-original that by the time the umpteenth of the characters you're supposed to care about dies it is hard not to laugh out loud at the movie's complete predictability and inability to engage the viewer. Actually, i think that explains all the laughter in the theater, i myself wasn't laughing, being thoroughly disappointed with the story. Just as traditionally, the big and pretentious questions are asked aloud and as usual you dismiss the answers given by the filmmakers (if any). One big plus to this movie is that such conversations are kept short and that's probably the only thing that's refreshing and stands this movie apart story-wise.

All in all, it's a good movie as the genre goes. Read the plot summary and if it doesn't sound like something you saw a thousand times already -- see it, it's the same story all over again but it's definitely one of the better versions of it (and an understandable one.) US release English dubbing is solid. 7/10. Dare to guess that the print version is better.

If you are new to the genre and just wanna see a good movie try "Ninja Scroll" or "Ghost in the Shell".

La Blue Girl (1992– )

animated porn, what do you expect?

[8/10 · 23 March 2000]

If you are not looking for animated porn, do not rent this tape. If you are a fan of the hentai genre and still haven't seen this, you've been missing out on a classic. Not to say that LBG is excellent in all respects, but i have never seen an all-around excellent hentai, so this one is quite possibly as close as it gets. All the erotic scenes that involve more than one participant are all rape and violence which is quite usual although upsetting. The plot thickens and the story gets quite interesting by the middle of the series but by the episode 6 it's as an incoherent imbecilic mumbo-jumbo as it can get. On the other hand, it gets progressively more explicit from episode to episode, so you may still want to watch the entire series.

As usual, try to get a subtitled version, as they tend to suffer less from the censorship than the dubbed ones (not sure about this particular video, but usually that's the case).

Rei Rei (1993 Video)

witty and inventive

[7/10 · 23 March 2000]

in its own genre -- hentai -- this is one of the better ones with respect to the plot and dialogue. Quite witty but not very explicit (still better than most). The goddess character is genuinely hot so you'll be glad that she gets it at the end of the episode 2. (there are episodes 1 & 2 on my tape). Refreshingly, not all the erotic scenes are rape and violence, i was glad to find some depictions of consensual sex, which is somehow so rare within the genre.

As usual, get the subtitled version if you want to be on the safe side censorship-wise: dubbed versions tend to suffer more in the cutting room, although i did not check this one specifically. As for quirky japanese voice-overs mentioned in another comment: i didn't notice that, maybe because I like the conventional cheesiness just as some people like Ed Wood's movies. The female voices are high-pitched but what do you expect?

All in all: not as good as La Blue Girl or other genre favorites but near the top. Would really like to see the further episodes (if they in fact exist).

Home Movies (1999–2004)

the pain is still there...

[7 November 1999]

it's been 6 months since the show was cancelled. The pain of the great loss does not sibside...

Oh, UPN, damn you! how could you cancel the best animation show ever to grace the network tubes? (well Groening's stuff is great of course) was there something about the pigs and the pearls?...

Home Movies (1999–2004)

an overlooked gem

[1 June 1999]

Home Movies is a masterpiece. Nothing like that was ever aired on network TV and it seems now that HM were canned by UPN after only 5 episodes. If you are a fan of the animation genre and want to see the work of the true pioneers -- this show is highly recommended. It's voiced over by the team of improv stand-up comics and it's hilarious. 10 out of 10!

Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)

you have to watch this if you've wasted your time on the other two..

[3/10 · 7 May 1999]

it contains the only scene that saves the whole trilogy -- princess Leia in a golden bikini on a chain. The scene where they escape from Jabba the Hutt and Leia jumps back and forth in that skimpy outfit -- you can turn it off right there, afterwards -- it's just bore, bore, bore... Better yet -- you can skip the first 2 movies completely -- won't lose anything...