Reviews
X2 (2003)
A moderate improvement, but the best should still be to come
It was the very nature of the original "X-Men" that kept it from being the no-holds-barred action movie we all wanted. This was for a number of reasons:
1) None of the principal characters could be killed, as they were needed for the sequel(s). So nothing was really resolved at the end of the first movie.
2) Any significant twist of plot or revelations had to be saved for later installments to give them more weight.
3) Exposition, exposition, exposition.
Now comes the sequel, more of the type of movie we wanted from the first one. The pieces are all in place to give us a deeper, faster, higher-octane entertainment. Freed from the bounds of having to explain all the backstory, we move rapidly forward in each character's development (though some characters' day is still clearly to come).
However, this movie again ends with the feeling that the REAL war between humans and mutants is still in the future. The logistical problem with this is, How long is this cast going to stick with the series?
Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
A dreamlike film that taps into our collective unconsciousness
Every so often, I see a movie that isn't content to entertain me. It doesn't want to be a passing bit of fluff that I'll forget within a week. No, it wants to crawl inside my head and stir up images, words, and concepts that I never knew were there. It wants me to think, and think hard. It wants to challenge those things I hold as ultimate virtues. "Spirited Away" is such a movie.
Fifteen minutes into the movie, I knew I was watching something unforgettable. A half hour in, I was completely lost in this world, completely enchanted by the things I was seeing. After the film was over, I staggered out of the theater in a daze, my mind trying to sort out the experience I'd just been through. It wasn't easy. There was so much symbolism and detail that I knew this was going to be one of my favorite films of all time. Rarely had I been as challenged by any film, animated or otherwise, as I was by this one.
I won't recap the plot, since doing so is a gross oversimplification, and the film's power isn't in the storyline anyway. It's in the mood, the tone, the feelings that you have as you watch Chihiro discover hidden virtues within herself.
For those who still haven't seen this movie, be forewarned that while this movie is indeed a masterpiece, it requires concentration and an open mind to fully grasp its power. But is the personal effort worth it? A hundred times over, yes.
Mitchell (1975)
Not quite as bad as some other MST3K movies
Yes, I've only seen the drastically cut MST3K version of this movie. But you know what? Each time I see it, the more I think, "You know, this could have been a really good movie with a few tweaks." The elements are in place for a better movie than this turned out to be. The whole drug-bust plot could have been more interesting with more development of what was at stake for each party involved. The Mitchell-hooker relationship also could have been intriguing as a love-hate kind of deal.
Which is not to say that this is a great, or even good, movie. But it must be said, it's nowhere near as bad as some comments on this board make it out to be.
Agent for H.A.R.M. (1966)
This is as good as any Bond film... Gold Bond medicated powder, that is.
Here we have the epic adventures of a super-swinging spy from the '60s, complete with loads of gorgeous women, fantastic gadgets, and awe-inspiring adventure set pieces...
Actually, no we don't.
What we have instead is a painfully low-budget, underwritten, generally icky movie filled with token attempts at the girls, gadgets, and adventures of our pal double-oh-seven, but all falling faaaar short of that goal. Think of it as the movie you and your friends might make one Saturday afternoon if you tried to make a Bond movie with community theater actors and a camcorder. Only without the comedy.
Buh-duh DAH-duuuuuh!
Space Mutiny (1988)
Chunk Beefsteak! Slab SquatThrust! Big McLargeHuge!
A movie like this, so ripe for being torn apart by Mike and the 'Bots, makes for one of the most hilarious episodes of MST3K... EVER! I've seen it many, many times and each time I find myself being swept away with the comedic brilliance of our riffing friends.
This, of course, says little about the movie itself.
Sometime in the future, refugees from a war-torn Earth travel the galaxy in the Southern Sun, a giant warehouse basement made of metal pipes and bricks. No kidding. Not surprisingly, several passangers, led by the Enforcer Kalgon (!!!) get antsy about spending their lives in such a place and want to land the ship. This is presented as being a bad thing and "against the law of the universe," whatever that means. So the captain of the ship (think Santa Claus dressed as God) hires a hunk of roast named Buff Drinklots (uh, I mean Thick Runfast) to put down the Kalgon-led rebellion. Other stuff happens, but the main focus of this movie is on people telling other people to "Move! Move! Move! Move!"
Get yourself a copy of the MST3K episode and laugh your butt off. You will, I promise.