Modern Family (TV Series)

Open House of Horrors (2012)

Spenser McNeil: Reuben Rand

Quotes 

• Jay Pritchett : Hey, you never told me if you hit those kids with that egg.

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : They blended into the crowd, but there was a slow one with them. He couldn't run so fast, and I nailed him pretty good.

  Reuben Rand : [in a bathroom with Manny, who has egg in his hair]  I warned you.

  Manny Delgado : Okay, Rueben.

  Reuben Rand : Where are your cool friends now? Not Q-tipping your ear, that's for sure.

  Manny Delgado : Okay, Reuben!

  Reuben Rand : This is why I never hang out with cool kids.

  Manny Delgado : Yeah, you rejected them, shortly after you and your mom roller danced at the talent show.

  Reuben Rand : Oh, we were robbed.

  Manny Delgado : Couldn't have been the song you picked. 'Wing Beneath My W-'

  [Reuben jobs him with the Q-tip] 

  Manny Delgado : Ow!

• Ted Durkas : Heard you pulled the fire alarm today and got us out of that test. Good job.

  Manny Delgado : Thanks, Mr. Durkas.

  Ted Durkas : You know what? You don't need to call me that anymore. Anyway, we're all meeting at the playground at 8:00 and heading out, if you want to join.

  [Walks away] 

  Luke Dunphy : You're totally going to that.

  Reuben Rand : Yeah, if you want to ruin your reputation.

  Luke Dunphy : You're finally gonna be in with the cool kids.

  Reuben Rand : You need to talk at the school assembly on Monday and apologize to all the teachers.

  Luke Dunphy : [Scoffing]  Teachers. More like public sector parasites.

  Reuben Rand : Be strong, Manny.

  Luke Dunphy : Be smart. Adventures, parties.

  Reuben Rand : Juvie, hearthache.

  Luke Dunphy : Girls!

  Reuben Rand : But not the kind we want.

  Manny Delgado : They're all the kind we want! Mr. Dur--

  [Begins to chase after him] 

  Manny Delgado : Conrad!