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"Modern Family" Open House of Horrors (TV Episode 2012) Poster

Quotes

Luke Dunphy: Why are there giant lollipops all over our front yard, and why do they taste so bad?

Alex Dunphy: Because they're made of cardboard, mouthbreather.

Phil Dunphy: Hey! The world needs dreamers, Luke. Never stop licking things.

Phil Dunphy: I got to be the top realtor of the year by thinking inside the box. That's right, I said inside. Because while everyone is chaising each other outside, what is the box?

[points at head]

Phil Dunphy: Empty.

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: I am not a hot-head, I am Colombian. We get excited. Our country is covered in coffee.

Manny Delgado: Just like the Starbucks girl when she got your order wrong.

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: Low-fat, decaf soy latte. How hard is that to hear?

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Cameron Tucker: Why is she so obsessed with princesses?

Mitchell Pritchett: Oh, like we weren't at that age?

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Mitchell Pritchett: I hear that you keep flashing our guests.

Cameron Tucker: Not in an inappropiate way. I just want people to see my body under this stupid costume.

Mitchell Pritchett: That's very close to what an actual flasher would say.

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Jay Pritchett: You don't need that siren. You can stop traffic just by getting out of the squad car.

Police Officer: License and registration, please.

Jay Pritchett: I'm no stranger to Police Academy. I've seen all seven.

Police Officer: Sir, no one's seen all seven.

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Skeleton: Trick or treat. Give us candy.

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: You're not even wearing costumes.

Skeleton: [Has a skeleton shirt] I'm a skeleton.

Lemon: [Has a yellow skirt] And I'm a lemon.

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: Aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating?

Lemon: Aren't you a little old to be pregnant?

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: Oh, that's a funny joke. Here's a joke. Knock-knock. What's gone? Your candy.

[Takes their bag of candy]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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