Bad Movie Beatdown (TV Series)

BMB Atop the Fourth Wall: The Spirit (2010)

Mathew Buck: Film Brain

Quotes 

• Linkara : Why is The Spirit so obessed with cats?

  Film Brain : Maybe he gets a lot of pussy.

  Linkara : Oh come on, man! Can we refrain from that for the next 100 minutes?

• Film Brain : The Spirit jumps on a police car being driven by Frank Miller.

  Linkara : He's obviously out to avenge this script.

• Linkara : Why are they finding all this junk in the mud?

  Film Brain : Because the script says so.

• Film Brain : Did he just break the fourth wall?

  Linkara : Don't worry, we're atop it.

  [audience boos] 

• Film Brain : Well at least we got to see Eva Mendes' backside. Maybe this movie isn't so bad after all.

  Linkara : Who are you, Frank Miller?

• Film Brain : Well, Linkara, you're free to go.

  Linkara : Yes, well, just a little message to whoever was behind this little flim-flam operation of yours: if you value your continued existence, if you have any hope of seeing tomorrow, let me tell you: there's one thing you never, ever put in a trap... me.

  [punches Film Brain] 

• Linkara : Holy crap, Frank Miller makes worse puns than you, Film Brain!

  Film Brain : I never thought such a thing could be accomplished.

• Octopus : Toilets are always funny.

  Film Brain : Except when they aren't.

• Octopus : You know I don't like egg on my face. No. Egg. On. My. Face! Not a glob!

  Linkara : Ugh, these egg-related puns make me PINE for Schwarzenegger.

  Mr. Freeze : What killed the dinosaurs? The ICE age!

  Film Brain : Care to retract that statement?

  Linkara : Yes, yes I will.

• Film Brain : Hey, Linkara.

  Linkara : Hey, Film Brain. I have no idea how the hell you got your hands on Iron Man 2. I can't wait to watch it.

  Film Brain : Say, Linkara, have you checked your watch?

  Linkara : Oh, yeah...

  [looks at watch] 

  Linkara : No. No, it can't be.

  Film Brain : That's right, it's Miller Time.

  [Linkara screams] 

• Linkara : You tricked me!

  Film Brain : I told you it was a Samuel L. Jackson and Scarlett Johansson movie. You just believed whatever you wanted to believe.

• Film Brain : Have a seat, get comfortable, it's going to hurt.

  Linkara : It's Frank Miller, when does it not?

• Film Brain : Given how the movie turned out, you have to wonder if Miller hated his friend.

• Film Brain : He's green-egg-and-hamming it. Get it? Because octopuses lay eggs.

  Linkara : No, I don't get it. Octopuses lay eggs?

  Film Brain : Yes, they do.

  Linkara : So not only is he making puns, he's making dumb puns because the audience isn't gonna get it. Oh Great Gatsby, it's Mr. Freeze all over again.

• Film Brain : Then we get some more wonderful dialogue from Frank Miller.

  The Spirit : I'm gonna kill you all kinds of dead.

• Linkara : Is this really meant to be taken seriously?

  Film Brain : Ten minutes ago people were being beaten over the head with toilets. The time for seriousness has passed.