Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis (TV Series)

Conan O'Brien and Andy Richter (2009)

Andy Dick: Self

Quotes 

• Conan O'Brien : [amused]  Yeah, does he also train the Michelin Man in his spare time?

  Andy Richter : [to Conan while Conan laughs]  That's just hurtful.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [to Conan]  Did you think you were going to be a talk show host when you were twenty-five years old?

  Conan O'Brien : What's funny is...

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [moves the red button closer to himself]  I'm just getting ready.

  Conan O'Brien : When I was twenty-five years old I was actually thinking about being a male model but that didn't work out.

  Conan O'Brien : [Zach presses the red button and the crickets' sounds continues]  Oh come on, this isn't bad.

  Conan O'Brien : When you started hosting you were nervous and sweaty and under prepared, desperate.

  Conan O'Brien : Well, yes, in 1993 I took over "Late Night"...

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [interrupts him]  No, I'm talking about "The Tonight Show".

  Conan O'Brien : Ok, I don't know, I'm getting a... Are you mad at me or something? I just thought we were... What are you mad about?

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : I feel like I have a shot at "The Tonight Show."

  Conan O'Brien : Pardon me? Is that what this is about? You wanted to host "The Tonight Show", I would've loved to see that "Tonight Show", you stumbling out there, sitting on an old chair from a public school, looking at a piece of paper, two freakin' ferns on either side of you "Tonight Show with Zach Galifianakis."

  Conan O'Brien : [impersonating a talk show announcer]  Tonight he mumbles angrily at Meryl Streep.

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [feeling insulted, to the camera]  We're out of time for Conan and we'll welcome our next guest, please welcome Andy Dick.

  Andy Richter : [stands up clapping, Andy Dick shakes hands with everybody and sits in Conan's seat, Conan gets up and sits on the side of the stage] 

  Zach Galifianakis - Host : [to Andy Dick]  Thanks for being on the show.

  Andy Dick : Thank you. Poppa Smurf called, he wants his suit back.

  [everyone laughs except Conan, segment ends]