The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Zazzy Substitution (2010)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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Amy Farrah Fowler : Perhaps it would be kinder to play a game more suited to his abilities. We'll close our eyes and count to ten while you hide.
Leonard Hofstadter : I'm going to my room.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Very good, Leonard. But next time, don't tell us where you're hiding.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : In a world where rhinoceroses are domesticated pets, who wins the Second World War?
Sheldon Cooper : Uganda.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Defend.
Sheldon Cooper : Kenya rises to power on the export of rhinoceroses. A central African power block is formed, colonizing North Africa and Europe. When war breaks out, no one can afford the luxury of a rhino. Kenya withers, Uganda triumphs.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Correct. My turn.
Sheldon Cooper : In a world where a piano is a weapon, not a musical instrument, on what does Scott Joplin play the "Maple Leaf Rag"?
Amy Farrah Fowler : Tuned bayonets.
Sheldon Cooper : Defend.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Isn't it obvious?
Sheldon Cooper : You're right. My apologies.
Leonard Hofstadter : What the hell are you guys playing?
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Leonard Hofstadter : Cats, Sheldon. You're clearly upset about Amy being gone, and you're trying to replace her with a bunch of cats.
Sheldon Cooper : Clowder.
Leonard Hofstadter : What?
Sheldon Cooper : A group of cats is a clowder. Or a glaring.
Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, yeah, fine.
Sheldon Cooper : It's the kind of thing you ought to know now that we have one.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Amy is judgmental, sanctimonious, and frankly, just obnoxious.
Sheldon Cooper : So?
Leonard Hofstadter : So we already have you for all that.
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Leonard Hofstadter : So, this is nice. First time we've all gotten together to eat.
Amy Farrah Fowler : [to Sheldon] You're right. He's a festival of humdrum chit-chat.
Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, that's all I got. Howard, you're up.
Howard Wolowitz : Um, tell us about your work, Amy.
Amy Farrah Fowler : I doubt you'd understand. Sheldon tells me you only have a master's degree.
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Sheldon Cooper : In a world where mankind is ruled by a giant intelligent beaver, what food is no longer consumed?
Leonard Hofstadter : Uh... a BLT where the B stands for beaver? I don't know.
Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, be serious. We're playing a game here.
Leonard Hofstadter : I can figure this out, let's see. Um... well, beavers eat tree bark. The only tree bark I know that humans consume is cinnamon, so I'll say cinnamon.
Sheldon Cooper : Incorrect. Obviously, the answer is cheese Danish.
Leonard Hofstadter : What?
Amy Farrah Fowler : In a world ruled by a giant beaver, mankind builds many dams to please the beaver overlord. The low-lying city of Copenhagen is flooded, thousands die. Devastated, the Danes never invent their namesake pastry. How does one miss that?
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Leonard Hofstadter : [sees Sheldon and Amy at the cafeteria] Oh no.
Howard Wolowitz : What?
Leonard Hofstadter : John and Yoko.
Howard Wolowitz : More like Yoko and Yoko.