The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Codpiece Topology (2008)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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Leslie Winkle : So, I heard your relationship with Penny crashed to the ground like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory.
Leonard Hofstadter : Where did you hear that?
Leslie Winkle : Actually I read it: Wolowitz texted me.
Leonard Hofstadter : [Reading her phone] ... like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory. Yep!
Leslie Winkle : I thought it was pretty a good one. I gave him an "LOL."
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Sheldon Cooper : You know how I can tell we're not in the Matrix?
Leonard Hofstadter : How?
Sheldon Cooper : If we were, the food would be better.
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Sheldon Cooper : Look on the bright side.
Leonard Hofstadter : What bright side?
Sheldon Cooper : Only nine more months until ComicCon.
Leonard Hofstadter : [smiling] Oh, yeah.
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Leonard Hofstadter : I like Leslie, but she's not interested in dating as much as using men as tools for stress release.
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, so? Be a tool. Go get yourself a little rebound "stress release".
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Leonard Hofstadter : I'm glad Penny's dating. Now I can really let loose.
Howard Wolowitz : You were holding back?
Leonard Hofstadter : Out of courtesy, yes.
Rajesh Koothrappali : What about the ten years before Penny.
Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, I've date plenty of women.
Howard Wolowitz : Like who?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, there's Joyce Kim, Leslie Winkle...
[pause]
Sheldon Cooper : Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary: the word "plenty" has been redefined to mean "two".
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Leonard Hofstadter : [Referring to their upcoming date] How do you suggest we proceed?
Leslie Winkle : Your place. We'll order Chinese, you'll rent a movie - artsy but accessible - then light petting, no coitus.
Leonard Hofstadter : Sounds fun...
Leslie Winkle : I'll leave the details up to you. I think it's better if you assume the male role.
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Howard Wolowitz : What's so unusual about me having a date?
Sheldon Cooper : Statistically speaking...
Leonard Hofstadter : All right, all right. Nevertheless, I have one now and I'd appreciate it if you would, make yourself scarce.
Sheldon Cooper : I'm a published theoretical physicist with two doctorates and an IQ which can't be accurely measured by normal tests. How much scarcer could I be?
Leonard Hofstadter : You know what I mean. Could you just give us a little privacy?
Sheldon Cooper : You want me to leave the apartment?.. You mean, just go someplace else and be... someplace else?
Leonard Hofstadter : Yes.
Sheldon Cooper : Why should I leave? This is my apartment, too.
Leonard Hofstadter : I know, and if science ever discovers a second member of your species and you two would like some privacy, I'd be more than happy to get out of your way.
Sheldon Cooper : Well, all right then.
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Leslie Winkle : Loop quantum gravity is the future of physics.
Leonard Hofstadter : Sorry, Leslie, I guess I prefer my space stringy, not loopy.
Leslie Winkle : I'm glad I found out the truth about you before this went any further.
Leonard Hofstadter : Truth? What truth? We're talking about untested hypotheses. It's no big deal.
Leslie Winkle : It isn't? Really? Tell me, how will we raise the children?
Leonard Hofstadter : I guess we wait until they're old enough and let them choose their own theory.
Leslie Winkle : We can't let them choose. They're children!
Leonard Hofstadter : Wait, where are you going?
Leslie Winkle : I'm sorry. I could have accepted our kids being genetically unable to eat ice cream or ever get a good view of a parade, but this... this is a deal breaker.
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Leonard Hofstadter : I'm sorry about all of Sheldon's interruptions. He can be a bit of an eccentric.
Leslie Winkle : If by "eccentric" you mean passive-aggressive East-Texas blowhole, I agree.
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Sheldon Cooper : When his uncles sit around the dinner table, they look like a half carton of eggs.
Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, my uncles are bald, but my Aunt Edna is one of the hairiest women you'll ever meet. Sweet lady. Always tickles when she hugs me.
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Sheldon Cooper : [Sheldon, dressed up as Spock, scans the renaissance fair using a tricorder] Captain, I'm getting an unusual reading.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, that's great. You guys want corn dogs?
Sheldon Cooper : That's a temporal anomaly. Corn dogs didn't come into existence until the first half of the 20th century.
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Leonard Hofstadter : I think tonight was a very good start.
Leslie Winkle : Me too. You're sure you're okay postponing intercourse until our relationship is past the initial viability test?
Leonard Hofstadter : No problem, I'm very skilled at postponing intercourse.
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Howard Wolowitz : Penny with her new boyfriend. Tres awkward.
Leonard Hofstadter : It's not awkward. It's not fun...
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Sheldon Cooper : [Referring to their Renaissance Fair costumes] I fashioned historically accurate undergarments out of linen.
Leonard Hofstadter : You went out and bought linen?
Sheldon Cooper : Don't be silly. I borrowed one of your pillowcases.
Leonard Hofstadter : Borrowed?
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Rajesh Koothrappali : What happens in costume at Comicon stays at Comicon!
Howard Wolowitz : You're only saying that because of what happened to you.
Leonard Hofstadter : What happened to you?
Rajesh Koothrappali : Nothing happened to me.
Howard Wolowitz : It's not your fault, Raj. He was dressed as a green Orion slave girl.
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Leonard Hofstadter : [wants Sheldon to leave because he has a date] Nevertheless I have one now, and I'd appreciate it if you'd, you know, make yourself scarce.
Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, I am a published theoretical physicist with two doctorates and an IQ which can't be accurately be measured by normal tests. How much scarcer could I be?
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Leonard Hofstadter : What's so unusual about me having a date?
Sheldon : Well, statistically speaking...
Leonard Hofstadter : All right, all right! Nevertheless, I have one now and I'd appreciate it if, you know, made yourself scarce.
Sheldon : Leonard, I am a published theoretical physicist with two doctorates and an i.q. which can't be measured by normal tests. How much scarcer could I be?
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Leslie Winkle : Now that you're unattached, maybe we can revisit our previous attachment.
Leonard Hofstadter : Are you suggesting another bout of stress release?
Leslie Winkle : No, I'm all done with casual sex. From now on, I'm fully committed to the traditional relationship paradigm.
Leonard Hofstadter : Really? What changed?
Leslie Winkle : It's hard to say. I guess there's a time in every woman's life when she gets tired of waking up on a strange futon with a bunch of people she doesn't know.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, I can see how that would... a bunch of people?
Leslie Winkle : Anyway, I figure it's time to slow things down and, who better to slow things down with than you?
Leonard Hofstadter : I'm flattered.