House M.D. (TV Series)
Act Your Age (2007)
Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House
Photos
Quotes
-
Dr. James Wilson : [House and Wilson are discussing Wilson's date with Cuddy the night before] Yes, I slept with her.
Dr. Gregory House : Seriously?
Dr. James Wilson : No.
Dr. Gregory House : [House looks him over] Yes you did!
Dr. James Wilson : Yes... I did.
Dr. Gregory House : Seriously?
Dr. James Wilson : No.
-
Dr. Allison Cameron : You're intentionally punishing us.
Dr. Gregory House : By making you do your job? Does sound kinda cruel, doesn't it?
-
Dr. Gregory House : You guys are idiots.
Dr. Allison Cameron : Why? Because we stayed up all night doing exactly what you told us to do?
Dr. Gregory House : No. Because you stayed up all night doing exactly what I told you to and have nothing to show for it.
Dr. Eric Foreman : We've eliminated dozens of wrong answers.
Dr. Gregory House : I asked you what two plus two equals and a day later you tell me not 25.
-
Dr. Allison Cameron : [to Deran about Lucy's condition] The ovaries produce sex hormones in response to a signal from the pituitary gland. Since we know the ovaries are fine the most likely cause...
Dr. Gregory House : [interrupts her] Most likely means she wants to root around inside your little girl's brain without any guarantee that it will work. That's why she's holding off on doing your son.
Dr. Allison Cameron : Dr. House knows that unfortunately we've ruled out every other option. We need to resect Lucy's pituitary before...
Dr. Gregory House : Who else visits these kids?
Dr. Allison Cameron : They don't have any family in town.
Dr. Gregory House : You got a girlfriend?
Deran : No one visits.
Dr. Gregory House : School?
Dr. Allison Cameron : They don't go to the same school, House. I...
Dr. Gregory House : Nanny?
Dr. Allison Cameron : They don't have one.
Deran : They go to an after-school daycare, but none of the other kids are sick.
Dr. Gregory House : Yet. It took your son twice as long to develop symptoms as your daughter. Maybe the other kids are just slow.
Dr. Allison Cameron : We wait and your daughter may die.
Dr. Gregory House : She does this, your daughter will need hormone replacement therapy for the rest of her life.
Dr. Allison Cameron : The treatments are extremely effective. She should lead a relatively normal life.
Dr. Gregory House : And isn't that every parent's dream, to have a kid grow up to be relatively normal.
Dr. Allison Cameron : My husband died of thyroid cancer that metastasized to his brain. I've been there. I know how terrifying this can be. I am telling you this is your best chance to save your daughter's life.
Dr. Gregory House : [whispers in Cameron's ear] You did not just play the dead husband card.
[to Deran]
Dr. Gregory House : My wife died because she signed a consent form that I didn't want her to sign. Died.
-
Dr. James Wilson : You! You! You! You were gonna let me do that?
Dr. Gregory House : You made a compelling argument.
Dr. James Wilson : You sent those flowers to me!
Dr. Gregory House : Yes, because you took her to a play. And because actually you do wanna march down there and kiss her.
Dr. James Wilson : No, I don't.
Dr. Gregory House : Yes, you do.
Dr. James Wilson : You're right.
Dr. Gregory House : Seriously?
Dr. James Wilson : No. You're a jerk.
Dr. Gregory House : Night, Wilson.
Dr. James Wilson : Night, House.
-
Dr. Gregory House : You're trying to have sex with Cuddy!
Dr. James Wilson : [ignores House's comment] Fries?
Dr. Gregory House : You took her to a play. You only take women to plays because...
Dr. James Wilson : [cutting House off] No, you only take women to plays for that reason! That's your theory.
Dr. Gregory House : Okay, then why did you take her to a play?
Dr. James Wilson : She's a friend!
Dr. Gregory House : Friend with a squish mitten?
Dr. James Wilson : It is possible to have a friend of the opposite sex without...
Dr. Gregory House : [interrupts] Blasphemer! She's not a friend of the opposite sex. She's a different species! She's an administrator. She's going to eat your head after she's done!
-
Dr. Gregory House : [to little girl in the kindergarten classroom] Do you have hair in your special place?
-
Dr. Gregory House : It's a play. Dudes only go to plays if they're dragged there by women they hope to see naked.
-
Dr. Gregory House : [to Cuddy] Panty hamster get a spin on its wheel?
-
Dr. Gregory House : Somebody better be dying.
Dr. Allison Cameron : Lucy's big brother's got a crush on me, so he bit the crap out of Chase.
Dr. Gregory House : And I care because...?
Dr. Robert Chase : Just thought you might want to know when one of your employees gets attacked by a sociopath.
Dr. Gregory House : Bees or monkeys, yes. Sociopaths, no.
-
Dr. Gregory House : How was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?
-
Dr. Gregory House : Hey! Don't make me turn the hose on you two.
-
Dr. Gregory House : [about Lucy] Arthritis, heart disease. Why can't this kid act her age?
-
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [to House] What's up with Wilson?
Dr. Gregory House : He's just a little freaked.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Why?
Dr. Gregory House : I sent him flowers.
[Cuddy looks confused]
-
Dr. Gregory House : [to Eddie] I'm going to ask you for some blood.
Eddie : Why?
Dr. Gregory House : To see if your answer will be, "I can't bleed in public."
-
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [to House] Six-year-old abuse victim and you haven't called Social Services?
Dr. Gregory House : She might have been abused. That's horrifying. Why are you wearing extra concealer under your eyes?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : The law's clear. You suspect abuse, you call the authorities. You don't proceed as usual while the possible abuser sits by her bedside.
Dr. Gregory House : Dad consented to the exam which means it's not the dad. How late were you out last night?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : It's always the dad and I don't have a curfew.
-
Dr. Gregory House : [to Janie] No one runs out at lunch just to get a lip wax unless you woke up looking like Yosemite Sam.
Janie : You're an ass.
-
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : I don't get the whole May-December thing.
Dr. Gregory House : Give him a break. It's May-October at worst.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Well, why can't it be October-October?
Dr. Gregory House : May is when things start to get hot.
-
Dr. Allison Cameron : That's ridiculous. If menstruation is a symptom of brain cancer then I should be on chemo right now.
Dr. Gregory House : That's ridiculous. You're way too skinny to be menstruating.
-
Dr. Allison Cameron : He went home.
Dr. Gregory House : Work smart, not hard.
-
Dr. Gregory House : Most 6-year-olds are not familiar with the phrase, "my joints feel inflamed."
-
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Restrictive pericarditis.
Dr. Gregory House : Boring.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : She's in kindergarten.
Dr. Gregory House : Less boring or Grandma's been held back a few years.