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"House M.D." Act Your Age (TV Episode 2007) Poster

(TV Series)

(2007)

Quotes

Dr. Wilson: [House and Wilson are discussing Wilson's date with Cuddy the night before] Yes, I slept with her.

Dr. Gregory House: Seriously?

Dr. Wilson: No.

Dr. Gregory House: [House looks him over] Yes you did!

Dr. Wilson: Yes... I did.

Dr. Gregory House: Seriously?

Dr. Wilson: No.

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Dr. Gregory House: You guys are idiots.

Dr. Allison Cameron: Why? Because we stayed up all night doing exactly what you told us to do?

Dr. Gregory House: No. Because you stayed up all night doing exactly what I told you to and you have nothing to show for it.

Dr. Eric Foreman: We've eliminated dozens of wrong answers.

Dr. Gregory House: I asked you what two plus two equals and a day later you tell me not 25.

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Dr. Allison Cameron: You're intentionally punishing us.

Dr. Gregory House: By making you do your job? Does sound kinda cruel, doesn't it?

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Dr. Gregory House: [to Cuddy] Panty hamster get a spin on its wheel?

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Dr. Gregory House: It's a play. Dudes only go to plays if they're dragged there by women they want to see naked.

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Dr. Gregory House: Somebody better be dying.

Dr. Allison Cameron: Lucy's big brother has a crush on me, so he bit the crap out of Chase.

Dr. Gregory House: Not interested.

Dr. Robert Chase: Figured you'd like to know when one of your employees gets attacked by a sociopath.

Dr. Gregory House: Bees or monkeys, yes. Sociopaths, no.

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Dr. Allison Cameron: [about Lucy] She's being abused.

Dr. Eric Foreman: A bloody t-shirt doesn't equal abuse. Kids get hurt all the time.

Dr. Robert Chase: That amount of blood?

Dr. Eric Foreman: Oh, crap. You two are agreeing again.

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Dr. James Wilson: You! You! You! You were gonna let me do that.

Dr. Gregory House: You made a compelling argument.

Dr. James Wilson: You sent those flowers to me.

Dr. Gregory House: Yes, because you took her to a play. And because actually you do wanna march right there and kiss her.

Dr. James Wilson: No, I don't.

Dr. Gregory House: Yes, you do.

Dr. James Wilson: You're right, I do.

Dr. Gregory House: Seriously?

Dr. James Wilson: No. You're a jerk.

Dr. Gregory House: Night, Wilson.

Dr. James Wilson: Night, House.

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Dr. Gregory House: You're trying to have sex with Cuddy!

Dr. Wilson: [ignores House's comment] Fries?

Dr. Gregory House: You took her to a play. You only take women to plays because you want to...

Dr. Wilson: [cutting House off] No, you only take women to plays for that reason! That's your theory!

Dr. Gregory House: Okay, then why did you take her to the play?

Dr. Wilson: She's a friend!

Dr. Gregory House: A friend with a squish mitten?

Dr. Wilson: It is possible to have a friend of the opposite sex without...

Dr. Gregory House: [interrupts] Blasphemer! She's not a friend of the opposite sex. She's a different species! She's an administrator. She's going to eat your head when she's done!

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Dr. Allison Cameron: [to Lucy while examining her] Before you came here, did anybody hurt you? Make you bleed? I'm gonna need to look in your vagina now, do you understand? I'm a doctor so it's okay.

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Dr. Gregory House: How was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?

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Dr. Gregory House: [to little girl in the kindergarten classroom] Do you have hair in your special place?

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Restrictive pericarditis.

Dr. Gregory House: Boring.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: She's in kindergarten.

Dr. Gregory House: Less boring or Grandma's been held back a few years.

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Dr. Gregory House: Hey! Don't make me turn the hose on you two.

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Dr. Allison Cameron: That's ridiculous. If menstruation is a symptom of brain cancer then I should be on chemo right now

Dr. Gregory House: That's ridiculous. You're way too skinny to be menstruating.

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Dr. Allison Cameron: He went home.

Dr. Gregory House: Work smart, not hard.

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Dr. Allison Cameron: [about Lucy] Bacterial infection is more likely to turn constrictive. It could be TB.

Dr. Robert Chase: Right. Forgot about the part where she did time in Russian gulag.

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Dr. Gregory House: Most 6-year-olds are not familiar with the phrase, "my joints feel inflamed."

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Dr. Gregory House: [about Lucy] Arthritis, heart disease. Why can't this kid act her age?

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Dr. Robert Chase: [to Cameron] You're trying to make me jealous.

Dr. Allison Cameron: Yeah, I want you to profess your love for me. Oh wait, you already did that and it caused me to end our relationship.

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Dr. Gregory House: [to Eddie] I'm going to ask you for some blood.

Eddie: Why?

Dr. Gregory House: To see if your answer will be, "I can't bleed in public."

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [to House] Six-year-old abuse victim and you haven't called Social Services?

Dr. Gregory House: She might have been abused. That's horrifying. Why are you wearing extra concealer under your eyes?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: The law's clear. You suspect abuse, you call the authorities. You don't proceed as usual while the possible abuser sits by her bedside.

Dr. Gregory House: Dad consented to the exam which means it's not the dad. How late were you out last night?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: It's always the dad and I don't have a curfew.

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Dr. Eric Foreman: [to Chase] You're an idiot. Either she's lying or she's actually emotionally detached. Which one sounds more like Cameron to you?

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [to House] What's up with Wilson?

Dr. Gregory House: He's just a little freaked.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Why?

Dr. Gregory House: I sent him flowers.

[Cuddy looks confused]

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Dr. Allison Cameron: [to Chase] I didn't realize you were going to get hurt. I'm sorry I misled you.

Dr. Robert Chase: You didn't. You have feelings for me. You come back to me again and again.

Dr. Allison Cameron: For sex. It's a simple, physical...

Dr. Robert Chase: Come on. You have feelings for puppies and patients that you barely know, but when it comes to a guy that you've worked with for three years?

[takes Cameron's hand]

Dr. Robert Chase: Had sex with, spent the night with. You're telling me you feel nothing? Absolutely nothing?

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Dr. Eric Foreman: What's more likely? Brother and sister get the same type of tumour at exactly the same time or they both play in the same toxic sandbox?

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Dr. Allison Cameron: [to Deran about Lucy's condition] The ovaries produce sex hormones in response to a signal from the pituitary gland. Since we know the ovaries are fine the most likely cause...

Dr. Gregory House: [interrupts her] Most likely means she wants to root around inside your little girl's brain without any guarantee that it will work. That's why she's holding off on doing your son.

Dr. Allison Cameron: Dr. House knows that unfortunately we've ruled out every other option. We need to resect Lucy's pituitary before...

Dr. Gregory House: Who else visits these kids?

Dr. Allison Cameron: They don't have any family in town.

Dr. Gregory House: You got a girlfriend?

Deran: No one visits.

Dr. Gregory House: School?

Dr. Allison Cameron: They don't go to the same school, House. I...

Dr. Gregory House: Nanny?

Dr. Allison Cameron: They don't have one.

Deran: They go to an after-school daycare, but none of the other kids are sick.

Dr. Gregory House: Yet. It took your son twice as long to develop symptoms as your daughter. Maybe the other kids are just slow.

Dr. Allison Cameron: We wait and your daughter may die.

Dr. Gregory House: She does this and your daughter will need hormone replacement therapy for the rest of her life.

Dr. Allison Cameron: The treatments are extremely effective. She should lead a relatively normal life.

Dr. Gregory House: And isn't that every parent's dream, to have a kid grow up to be relatively normal.

Dr. Allison Cameron: My husband died of thyroid cancer that metastasized to his brain. I've been there. I know how terrifying this can be. I am telling you this is your best chance to save your daughter's life.

Dr. Gregory House: [whispers in Cameron's ear] You did not just play the dead husband card.

[to Deran]

Dr. Gregory House: My wife died because she signed a consent form that I didn't want her to sign. Died.

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Dr. Gregory House: [to Janie] No one runs out at lunch just to get a lip wax unless you woke up looking like Yosemite Sam.

Janie: You're an ass.

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I don't get the whole May-December thing.

Dr. Gregory House: Give him a break. It's May-October at worst.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Well, why can't it be October-October?

Dr. Gregory House: May is when things start to get hot.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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