30 Rock (TV Series)

The Fighting Irish (2007)

Alec Baldwin: Jack Donaghy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jack Donaghy : Lemon, come here - you've got to see this. It's a video of a baby panda sneezing. Sit here.

  [Liz sits and Jack starts the video] 

  Jack Donaghy : Don't watch the mother; just watch the baby.

  Liz Lemon : Oh, that is the cutest thing I've ever seen!

  Jack Donaghy : Isn't that adorable? You have to fire ten percent of your staff.

• Jack Donaghy : Oh, I had to re-hire that Liz Lemler that you fired.

  Liz Lemon : Okay.

  Jack Donaghy : And I didn't want any more trouble with her, so I had to give her a promotion, too.

  Liz Lemon : Fantastic.

  Jack Donaghy : It's an amazing opportunity for her, out at... corporate headquarters.

  Liz Lemon : In Connecticut? She's transferred to Connecticut?

  Jack Donaghy : Yes. That's right. It seems that things are lining up once again for old Liz Lemon.

  [Liz smiles] 

  Jack Donaghy : And you say...

  Liz Lemon : Thank you, Jack.

  Jack Donaghy : You're welcome.

• Jack Donaghy : You have to fire ten percent of your staff.

  Liz Lemon : What?

  Jack Donaghy : We have to synergize backward overflow.

• Eddie Donaghy : I got a real job now: I talk homeless people into joining the army.

  Jack Donaghy : Isn't there anything that you want?

  Eddie Donaghy : One thing: I'd like my brother back. Look, I know I've been nothing but trouble to you your entire life. Juvie, Jonestown, that time I punched Goofy... Hell, I even blinded you with a bottle rocket!

  Jack Donaghy : Ah, that was for a couple of lousy months; big deal. I had sex with your prom date.

  Eddie Donaghy : I stole your identity.

  Jack Donaghy : I threw you out of a window.

  Eddie Donaghy : I convinced you you had lupus.

  Jack Donaghy : I microwaved your parakeet!

  Eddie Donaghy : I hated that bird.

  Jack Donaghy : We had some great times, didn't we?

• Jack Donaghy : I was impressed by how you take a punch, Lemon.

  Liz Lemon : Uh, I played dead for the worst of it, but it didn't fool your family.

• Tracy Jordan : Hey, did you hear the good news, J.D.? I'm Irish Catholic now, like you, Regis, and the Pope.

  Jack Donaghy : Oh, ho ho, no you're not. The church already has enough lawsuits.

  Tracy Jordan : See, I can screw up now, and then just go to confession. No longer do I have to throw my parties in international waters.

  Jack Donaghy : That's not how it works, Tracy. Even though there is the whole confession thing, that's no free pass, because there is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt.

  Tracy Jordan : I don't think I want that. I'm out.

  [Jack turns to leave] 

  Jack Donaghy : [to himself]  Somehow, I feel oddly guilty about that.

  [Jack crosses himself] 

• Jack Donaghy : When I think of all the things that I've been holding inside me that I wanted to say to you.

  [holds up fists] 

  Jack Donaghy : Well, now I'm gonna let St. Patrick and St. Michael do my talking for me!

  Jack's Dad : You'll have to get through Tip O'Neill and Bobby Sands first!

  Eddie Donaghy : You call those fist names? Say hello to Bono and Sandra Day O'Connor!

  Jack Donaghy : Those are the stupidest fist names I've ever heard.

• Eddie Donaghy : Hey, Jack, you mind if I take a few grapes for dinner later?

  Jack Donaghy : Why don't you just take the money?

  Eddie Donaghy : No! If you wanna give money to someone, you give it to those nurses who took care of Dad at Chicago All-Saints Hospital. They never once said anything about the racist stuff, towards the end.