Eddie Donaghy:
I got a real job now: I talk homeless people into joining the army.
Jack Donaghy:
Isn't there anything that you want?
Eddie Donaghy:
One thing: I'd like my brother back. Look, I know I've been nothing but trouble to you your entire life. Juvie, Jonestown, that time I punched Goofy... Hell, I even blinded you with a bottle rocket!
Jack Donaghy:
Ah, that was for a couple of lousy months; big deal. I had sex with your prom date.
Eddie Donaghy:
I stole your identity.
Jack Donaghy:
I threw you out of a window.
Eddie Donaghy:
I convinced you you had lupus.
Jack Donaghy:
I microwaved your parakeet!
Eddie Donaghy:
I hated that bird.
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